Rick Lybarger

Frankly, I didn’t know who I was, and a few years ago, I decided it was time to find out. My life was about image, ego, and pretending to be someone who fit into a nice box with a great cover. The last 25 years I’ve spent as a successful financial planner, father, coach, and friend. I had a nice house, a fancy car, and a country club membership. It seemed on paper pretty good. But I wasn’t happy.

I drank and ate too much, got divorced, and deep down was angry with life. I played small and pretended to be happy. Learning to play small was easy; it’s what I was great at from an early age. It’s how I managed to survive and hide from my roller coaster ride as a child. Like many, my parents got divorced when I was young. My father was an alcoholic, and his drinking cost him his career, two years in jail, and his family. These events were a lot to deal with, so I buried them deep inside and did my best to pretend that none of it was happening. In the midst of this, I was looking for a bodyguard to protect me from the shit in my life. My bodyguard was a young adult who helped me feel safe and protected. Sadly, there was a cost to this relationship that ended with me being sexually abused.

Being a master at hiding my feelings, I did the best that I could to hide this as well. My goal in life was to feel happy and safe, to enjoy life, and to pretend that everything was just fine. I held it together for a long time, but you can only pretend for so long before things start to unravel, and change is needed. I wanted change as badly as I wanted to breathe.

I share these things not for you to feel sorry for me. Frankly, some of you reading this may have worse stories than I. I’m not here to compare. All I know is that this was my hell. It was my shit sandwich and PTSD from life. Deep down, I knew there was something more, and I wanted to have it. I started looking for answers through therapy and found motivational speakers like Tony Robbins sharing their formulas for success and happiness. I bought countless books on happiness, meditation, and self-healing, and became obsessed with finding the keys to unlocking my joy. Feeling like the next book, class, or romantic relationship would be the one I needed to make the shift. I still couldn’t find the answers that would give me joy and take away my pain.

Bottom line, though, all of this, I was looking for something outside myself. The shifts in my life came when I stopped making excuses and blaming others for my unhappiness. I turned within and discovered that all the compassion, trust, self-worth, and love I needed were mine to receive from myself. This wisdom gave me an empowering new way to live my life and became the foundation for Wisdom Won.