Being Of Service | One Man's Journey

0:00 Greetings and welcome to real men. Feel this is your host, Andy Grant. I'm an author coach speaker and healer you can visit the and Grant.com to learn more about that women. Feel is here to remind men that they are human beings and that they are entitled and have the right to feel and express and expand and share all of their emotions, whatever you're feeling. It's okay. We have the conversations that most men aren't having but that all men can benefit from an in this work and podcasting in my healing work. I get to meet lots of That are, you know, doing their best to be of service and help other men, help the world. And that's why I'm talking to you tonight. My guest today is healer coach, and men's group facilitator, Justin Gagney, welcome to room and field. Justin, thank you, thank you so much. Thank you for having me, appreciate it. It was glad to.

0:47 If we stay, we just met like a couple weeks ago, I think. Yeah, I think it's been two weeks. She's money, that we've chatted briefly a few times. So I feel like I've known you longer than just two weeks, so it's exactly. I know it's Was that way, definitely. So the first thing I want to ask you is what prompted you to want to create a men's group to begin with. It came down to just being on my own really on the journey and guys at work that was working with weren't really in that kind of sense. You know, everyone was just doing everyday grind and I just had so much on my mind to talk about and I just wanted my fellow brothers to talk to, but the guys I was around, were talking, you know, all they really could honestly talk about football baseball. You know, what was on the tube that night? So, you know, I tried To dabble into a little bit and talk to him but some most didn't really Vibe with it was okay. So that this really is let me down to the road to find some men and and to share our journey together. So have you always been seeking that more depth than kind of the average person on the street or is this kind of recent for you? It's always been.

2:01 Yes it's always been a look searching for the depth that it was always something I could find deeper. You know at first I didn't know exactly what it was but there was something beckoning me to find whatever that purpose was and yeah I've been searching for it for a couple of years. Now I could say definitely definitely been a thing. What sort of things did you experience that? That let you decide that you were kind of being called for. So like what were the? What were the signs of your calling of this journey you speak of For signs. It was honestly, it was like during the pandemic was huge like as a kid I had, I was very empathetic and everything and I was very open and I used to see, you know, full operations and everything, but I just think that like hauntings but when covid came around we all had to like kind of stay home and you know no one was out in public really.

3:00 So we really had to focus on ourselves and I basically was really working on myself too because I was a recovering alcoholic for like 12 years. And so, I really started focusing on being a better version of me to, you know, heal myself. Which I didn't know I was doing, but I was trying not to be angry as much. And so I was just kind of trying to process emotions. These are all these things are coming through and when I started really feeling the weight because I don't really watch, Stevie was trying to seclude myself from like the outside world of all the chaos that was going on, but I really felt everybody and empathically like the world honestly, and that really opened the door for me.

3:48 And I do remember meditating, once in the beginning, trying to like, you know, keep the anger down and frustrations. And I remember seeing a black door open, like this one time when I was meditating, and that really felt like I was opening the door to the spirituality. Realm and to where I am today. Did you have a general sense of being angry at everything or was there something specific that you hadn't dealt with in the past? What was? Yeah, it was it was more of losing my mother and honestly when I lost my mom, I was just she was getting an operation and she was a plus-size woman than she needed this operation.

4:30 She had cancer on her kidney And so something she needed to be happened to right away. So when that happened, she had actually the staple gun misfired and hit her main artery. And so it was kind of a we did. She was supposed to come out that day, so we didn't expect that at all. So when that happened, that kind of, I kind of had a salty, taste, my mouth for a long time because you know, we weren't told what happens? Truthfully and all that. So yeah, I was, I was pretty angry. Well about that and I just suppress it with who's that's that's basically what I did. You know and and try to keep that anger a little monster, you know down there for a while and not deal with it honestly. But the scary thing that deal with and process that stuff you know it's never fun thing.

5:20 No and it's certainly not that and it's funny because it's a horrible stat is like One of the leading causes of death is Medical Care, 100% 100%. So how long ago was that when did you lose your mom? That was 12 years ago. 12 years ago actually last month seems longer. But yeah, it was 12 years ago, but going through this process of, you know, if you would call it spiritual, awakening, our journey that we're onto, you know, everyone's on the journey. I understand it now because I've I've learned to address it and heal it and, you know, it's always going to hurt but we keep peeling. It's easier and softer.

6:04 And so I've learned to kind of understand why I guess one coming from. Is I understand why it happened. So, I'm upset with situation anymore because I know we all have like, so contract. We all come in here and and we have this time period, that we know we're going to be on earth. We as our 3D cells, don't know that but when we come here to Earth as a soul, we do now. So and I understand the situation now and yeah. So I'm not so angry at anymore. It helps and was was there a single turning point? Then that you realize that that you did the drinking wasn't helping anything and you were going to make a change?

6:48 Yeah, yeah. So I have learned that, you know, there's Darkness and Light The world and I was met with a lot of Darkness you know negative energies and all that. I at my you know mostly every day and a lot of voices going on, you know like 10 like I want to quit drinking but I keep hearing like drink drink drink, you know. And that's myself saying that you know my dark side, just kind of poking at it. And you know I just kind of had to like Adventure through that with a lot of hurt. Eels. And yeah, that was its I would say not, it's not easy but once you can work through it, it's a lot easier in the end. You know.

7:38 It's not a scary. I guess I would say, you know. Yeah. It was definitely a challenge. I would say definitely was. We were able to work through anything while drinking. Yeah. We did the healing only begin kind of after that. Well as always see ya. Sorry I was always trying to When I was working through it, I knew I always had like a self-worth for myself so I always had like the light almost the end of the tunnel and I was like really close to it. I knew I should stop but I got so deep into it and what helped me was a great breakthrough for me is I had my guides which I didn't know at the time but I used to have like a woman call my name out every morning. Call like Justin, like, wake up, like, wake up and I thought was like wake up bed bed but it's like wake up who you No, come on, you're almost there and then I had a very Vivid, lucid dream of my guy Derek and I've seen he came in the dream, I had like a I live on Cape Cod and there was like a little kid thud magazine for me.

8:41 The show me, it was kind of like, I don't know what that was, kind of like a dream to show me that, you know, we're in a dream but you're still in Cape Cod kind of thing. And so I had like a young girl and a young boy and old. And when I saw them to I was looking at him like this is not my family but it felt so real. And so basically the way you looked at me telepathically and said we are your family. So I kind of freaked out I went outside and it was like, all I had was all snowy outside and there was a deck with a dock going down to the water. So I started going down there to kind of get away from people to like, collect myself. I start sitting down and I see, my are my guide are coming.

9:23 He's like 7 foot tall. He's walking to me. I'm sitting next to this pond with like a little Violet flame kind of Vortex. Sitting there. I didn't, I looked at him and I knew his name. So obviously, I knew him and he says, are you okay? And I'm like, I don't know. Am I think? I don't know what's going on and he looks at me, he goes, you wanted this, but you're not ready. So when I had that when I had that happen to me and I woke up That kind of woke me up because I was like, what am I not ready for it? That was the question. Like, who is this man? What do I want? You know, I kind of knew what I wanted and it was like getting out of drinking. So he was basically telling me like you're not ready yet, because you're still in the dark, but this is what you can have, you know?

10:11 So that really did help me. That was very pivotal. And so, did you just decide one day? Alright, I'm done drinking, or did you need to go through a did a program help you out? Or Yeah, so I've tried multiple times and I did a program once and for people that do the program, I'm not knocking it at all. It's just something that didn't work for me. I tried it and then Mason people there. But that wasn't for me. So I I I, I basically got honest, I'm not a church, he person. But I went to the church one day and I was still hammered. I went to a church, and I'm just like on my hands and knees begging. Please like somebody.

10:51 Me like I can't get any lower than this. Like I'm at the bottom of the barrel. I'm on my hands and knees in a church like hello. You know, and so then I had a friend of mine that I haven't seen in years who's like a best friend of mine in high school and I saw him his wife, and they just had a Wonder old. So I started seeing them more and they start showing me like that, I mattered. So, that helped me a lot and gave me space and then they bought a house in the said, hey, why don't you move in with us? So you can have a place to be sober. And so I started doing that working on that and just someone showing the light to me and showing that I do matter and someone caring that I actually show man, actually cares. That I'm doing something bad to myself instead of just people, letting you be, oh, that's just him, let him be him, you know, just just upset, you know, so that's what kind of what ties in with, like, helping guys and everything. Is that showing someone that cares? And to help you pick up and help you rise. Is something amazing.

11:55 It's pure medicine. I wish more people realize this, but being of service helping somebody helps you so much, but if that is not a one-way Street, 100% 100%. And that's because recently, I've been saying to and posting up to a lot of people just, you know, if you can help one person, like if I can help you just say this, if I can pass on something to you and then you can pass it on to two. To other people. And then those two other people can pass it on the to now that's for. And that's like, you know, it multiplies. I multiply so I just the Ripple effects. I think it's amazing, you know, Shine Your Light for others. I just posted about like an hour ago, you know, if someone's in darkness and you can shine and be The Shining Light to them, that is huge. Because by example of shining your light and your Darkness to being too light, they can check.

12:44 It shows them that they can actually do the same thing. So people ask like, what can I do for others? Simply just Just be that Shining Light and that is huge that can just, you know, Jet Set someone that's ready. Definitely helps earlier mentioned that you were empathic as a kid. Did you have any of these other kind of lucid dreaming and, and recognition of guys, it was that something you experience as a child? Yeah, I did. So I won't keep caught. It's an island on in Massachusetts and a lot of Native American And land here. And so yeah, when I was a kid, there was a lot of I live in the conservation, the backyard and had a lot of stuff back there. But yeah, I had a lot of lucid dreaming is a child, but I just I just cooked it up to be like nightmares, you know? And just imagination as a child.

13:41 And I used to see things in my house, like but I had always like kind of the ego thing, right? You're just like, oh, that's, you know, that's just, that was just the light flickering or, you know, I I had like one time I had a shadow on top met and I thought was my father, when I turned the lights on and then he wasn't there. But I was just in, so no one was in my room, but I just passed it off to be, you know, there was a Coke can and front of it. So it looked like that, you know, so you could do like a lot but knowing that that's not the truth now. Yeah, why do lucid dreams towards even with my mother? When she passed I had that opened the door when I Younger, I was like, 20s 25. When I was back at the house, that was that definitely was a lot of lucid dreaming going on.

14:30 Then a lot of empathic stuff to feel my father, feel my brother, feel my grandma next door, you know. So if you're not grounded and everything that really is a big thing too, if you're not grounded and you're not taking care of yourself as an, impasse is troublesome. And how aware of all that were you as a child Exactly, because I've had some chances and I was a mess as a kid. I oh yeah, I was a man. I was a hot mess. I mean, you know, my mom brought me to like doctors for ADD and then ADHD and all these things and like, you know, and I was very hyper attic to because all that was going on in the energies. I was getting was just almost like having like, you know, five cups of coffee because you're just like, you know, all over the place, you know?

15:19 Yeah, it definitely affected me. But I think the add is not personally for my perspective as they say a TD is not really what I think it is I kind of feel with the add was yeah I wasn't paying attention but I'm receiving so much so much information. You know, it was almost like people thought I wasn't paying attention but I was but I was also receiving from up the above your you're paying attention to different things than their one of you to pay attention to that. Yeah yeah exactly. Yeah. And what about healing? What got you into healing? Was it did you receive healing seek healing with what got you into that field? I've always felt like it's like the Blind and wine, the blinding of what who I was.

16:06 Like, I just didn't know who I was like. I've always been like there for everyone and trying to help others and listen to whoever's at school that I don't know. That was like, you know, sitting by and, like, crying or something like that. So that's kind of that's that's a form of healing and just being shining a light again being the like the next to someone is healing. So my father is like an Earth Angel. He's all. We've always done like, you know, can drives and help kids with like what they call that like for Salvation Army for like Christmas and and we do a lot of CCD and church groups when I was younger when I had to do those things. But I just watched my Take care of people and be in service going to nursing homes on his own. Not being paid and like dementia patients and all that. And I used to go with them and do stuff like that. So just that alone, I was just blown away, you know, the see a man be a different person and then change into like an Earth Angel.

17:13 As I've been told that he is in this switch, his like mentality to like a totally different person. Person and in have this pouring heart to help people. And that was huge for me, I thought that was amazing. So you think the something at home like in day-to-day life, your dad was not that open-hearted and of service. It was only when he went out. Yeah, so yeah. So my dad, he is very gifted and he doesn't know it. He's very, he's a very Church oriented person so it doesn't mix, you know, he's very Catholic. And set in his ways, and he just doesn't see it the way I can see it. So he's very empathic and he has all these, all the stuff that I mean, he's my father, so, makes sense, right? And, but yeah, so he's very nervous all the time because he's feeling energy, and he's always like pacing and he's a good earner.

18:10 I was calling nervous Nelly, you know, he's just a nervous Nelly, he's just like a, you know, like a leaf blowing into the wind. So but when he's like talking to these people, People he's not that nervous person. He's a very grounded man is a very focused. You know very attentive like everything else was washed away. It's just that person trying to him and then you know it's amazing. And so for me for healing Seeing myself in the darkness that I was, I wanted to help others Fast Track. So for me, the see, how much struggle in torture, I put myself in that, that's the main word, really that I did is tortured myself for so long was a groundhog every day.

18:58 So when I actually got to the point where I could heal myself, sorry, what I could do, I was like, oh I got to do this for everyone else. Like, I don't want anyone else to do what I did. I want to help people with grieving. You know and get people on the right track wherever they may be, if it's just a speck of sand that I can help that person than I am happier than than ever to help that person you know makes me very fills my heart for someone to just help them maybe ground for that day and they can go home and sleep better. That's that's that's big. And the last time we spoke, I think you mentioned wanting to help men, send to her embrace the Divine masculine So, I wonder, what, what can you define Divine masculine.

19:42 What does, what does that mean to you? So actually, I really want two men to embrace Divine, masculine and divine feminine. So honestly, when men that are not really, when they're just learning when they hear feminine, they're like, oh, like no, I'm a man, you know, like, you know, I'm tough like and it's like, you know, Yes you are but today we are everything's demanding but the universe is demanding today especially for men to have Divine masculine and divine feminine. So masculine for me is for honestly, as I would say like tough and strong but like with compassion with with, with love We can be strong as we can be energetically as I look at stuff.

20:44 You know, we have energies around us as healer, but if we're strong and tough, and we're trying to push, like stuff down the hill, it's not going to work, like we can do this in the 3D world that we can't do this. And in an energetic perspective, you know, we have to go with Grace So feminine ties into because it helps us be graceful as men. And honestly I was like say like if you could You know, a lot of men that present of me front of me that I work with, you know, the think they could pick a truck up and they're like strong as anything. You know, that's cool. But to me, I think a strong masculine is that if they can, if they can actually heal themselves first and then heal their family, then that is the strongest in the world to me.

21:28 I think that's amazing. If you can do that, you know, if you can actually conquer yourself and cocky or darkness and then take care of your family and he'll everyone else. That's that's a strong. Man right there. Yeah, I find it is a common misperception that, you know, being a man means, you're only masculine but masculine and feminine energy is in everything. Malia's, yeah, 100% 100%. You might have already talked about him, but let's see what, what man had the biggest impact on your life. Yeah. Style. That would be my father. That would definitely be my dad. He's an interesting one, you know, he's huge impact but he's also showed me like he didn't have an easy life. He had a, he was a chat children of eight and had like one meatball for, like, the whole week. Like, they were poor very poor.

22:20 He had a very abusive father, and then he had a stepfather was very abusive, both alcoholics all that. So he swore to him himself as a child, he would never lay a hand on his children, and he never did do we? Come to the edge of like frustration. Oh yeah. I mean, what kid doesn't right? But yeah, look up to him. I I looked at like, wow, that guy that can defeat all that, right? Like getting beaten and having not really great Father's to Starting his own business and he's a master plumber and like, you know, providing for three boys and a wife or a nice big, you know, hit like big house for him, you know, we had great, great life, you know, very affectionate family, very loving family. So I was blessed, you know, the have that because I know there's not many that do as my friends, at least I know, I don't have that as a very affectionate and he taught me honestly, what soft?

23:20 Kind gentle men look like that. He could be a strong masculine but he had very Divine and him to feminine Divine in him. And to see that balance is why who I am today? Does he know how much you have gotten from him and look up to him? I hope so. I do tell him, I do tell him but, you know, that's all we only can receive what we want to receive, you know, we can tell XY and z and if if you're up in this is like a mirror for me to like I used to not receive like compliments even though I was doing well. So but I'm I don't do that anymore like but with him. Yeah I think he does.

24:08 I mean he sees me from how dark I was like my mom wasn't so Me like that, it crushed my father because it's his wife, but it crushed me because it was like my best friend, soulmate, everything. Like, you know, we were very connected, very connected. So yeah, I definitely, I do think he's that because I'm just not who I was before. You know, I was very recluse and very tied to the bottle. So I do think he sees it. What do you proud of Justin? I'm, you know, I'm proud of the progress. I made my Pro I'm I'm I'm so blessed and grateful everyday to know that I was in a dark deep hole, very dark.

25:01 So dark that there was all black around me and I'm just proud that I did it on my own and and I'm proud that I'm I'm taking these hurdles every day that I'm, I'm still working on because it's an everyday process is never easy. He gets a lighter right? When we heal something and it comes back around in the cycle, it's softer. So, yeah, I'm very proud of a lot of stuff that I'm proud that like I can catch myself now. Instead of playing the victim game, I'm like, whoa! Wait, wait wait, you know, what's you know, this is what it It is, but it's okay because you read is before, but it's just that we know how to navigate it. Now we just might have to navigate just a little bit to the left, figure it out the second time.

25:46 So yeah, I'm very proud for that stuff because mentally I wasn't even there. I was always, you know, used to call myself a horrible person and you're disgusting and you deserve these things, you know, looking in the mirror. So now I'm proud that I can say. I love you, you're amazing. You know, you're full of light and you know, I'm proud of you. Actually say I'm proud of myself. It's kind of nice. No. And what are you looking forward to? What am I looking forward to? Um, I would say I'm looking forward to helping others, really. Honestly like that's that's my mission is to help others move in the right direction and just being service is really truly, from my heart is to be in service, it fills my day, when I help someone and they walk in all nervous and they're just like, you know, I have everything on the table.

26:43 They want to talk about you just sit there and listen to them and then by the time they leave they just they're full of energy and they're excited and they're happy and they give you a big hug. That's that's huge. So I look forward to that stuff. How does someone know they're headed in the right direction? I only can speak for my like self again. I always like to say my perspective because that's where I'm coming from. It's my knowing it's my practice that I do. I'm practicing every day. So I know my right direction because again it's just my knowing I can't really explain what knowing feels like for anyone else but it just feels true. And it's very clear for me because I'm not fighting anymore.

27:33 I'm not fighting and trying to go against the grain to where I thought I should be. You know, I listen to my guides. I listen to myself. Is this is big? You know, I don't listen to my ego. I listen to my true higher self and I observe You have to take a few, you can't just like, jump into it and go, you know, it's calculated. You have to kind of like sit back and have a higher perspective and actually focus on where you're going, what you're doing. Instead of being like, honest, you know, the fly because on the Fly again, I used to do that and it didn't work for me. So now, being more aware, I can see the Avenue.

28:17 Sometimes, there's a fork in the road, you can take, but I know both are the Your action. But which one do I want to take, you know? So which lesson do I want to learn? Is it kind of that that a sense of being in the flow and perhaps synchronicities or, you know, configure Necessities synchronicities hundred percent. I can't deny it. Like so yesterday was this a like this? Like I'm like so I quit my job last week because I'm done on being on the grind and my soul is just grinding into the earth and its not aligning with me. So I took action and that's another thing that was a healing aspect for me is to have faith within me and in what I'm supposed to do. And so synchronicities I walk by this girl at Stop and Shop and I'm giving out flyers for clearing homes, do an energy clearing for homes and then I want to cross the other side of the plaza and I go into the place where my cat veterinarian and she walks right out.

29:22 So I was like, excuse me. I was like, I don't want to like scare you, you know? But I just want to give you a flyer because this is a synchronicity like there's you can't deny someone walking by you two times, you know, in that, in this big Plaza. So I just gave her one. So I see a lot of those, I see a lot of those things and I'm focusing on who I'm seeing And it is there anything you wish you learned at a younger age? No. I would say no because then I wouldn't be who I am today. So I would say, definitely not because the lessons I was taught is who I am today. And I repeated that.

30:03 But that's just like, I wouldn't go. I wouldn't change anything. I wouldn't, I wouldn't change anything. That's not cool. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I always advise people and like your do I speak for my experience because that the best tedious is your experience. Yes, and yes. And yes. Someone else's experience can guide you and, you know, you Attracted to it, and take some steps in that direction. But ultimately, it's what you do. It's the actions, you take that really determined. Yeah, it is. Because if you're not, if you're not listening to yourself, then I kind of say what's the point to me? Because it's kind of like, almost like an ego. If you listen to everyone else, it's kind of like an ego. It kind of thing for me. And for people out there that use like Facebook, like, bless you, like, you know, if that's helping you, I love it but I don't, you know, those things they don't because then I get It kind of like, for myself, I'm like, am I doing this right? You know, so I just always known that, that's best for what works for me because there's no right or wrong the way people do things anyone.

31:03 So, I just, that's a big thing for people to know. Like, you never doing anything wrong. Is there? One thing you wish more men knew besides that, I guess um, yeah, take your time. Like, you know, we're on this journey. It's not like it's coming. We want things fast for human, we Things quickly thing, you know, it doesn't work that way and so for example like I was getting so much information coming in to me and I was like, wow, I'm actually good at something and that's how it felt cuz I'm I wasn't very good at school studying. It wasn't my thing so when I was receiving everything I thought was amazing. So I was like keep coming. Keep coming, keep pumping it, you know and then it was like breaks and I was at a suspension mode healing and so I had sort just come and tell me basically like be at balak, stay likes it respite relax and that was very hard for me but that was a very good lesson for me too because we can't keep going so fast. You know?

32:09 So we have to like know that like when you hear guys say like something's happening, it doesn't mean today and you know that we have to have On our time because time doesn't matter above, you know, time is not a thing, you know, and abundance, that's another thing that people keep hearing abundance, abundance is not just money. Abundance is love buttons, is time like right now I have time to do my things right now because I'm not working and grinding. That's the abundance that I've been told which actually a to feathers. I was talking to Jen there and that's what she was telling me. She's like, you know, it's time as your bonnets right now. So that's a huge thing because a London's people think it's 3D, they think that's straight money so that's not such, it's not a thing.

32:54 I mean, I mean it could be money but not always, it is a thing but it's not only that thing. Yeah, yeah. So Justin, how can people learn more about you and connect with you? Yeah, so I'm on Facebook which you just said, was horrible, right? Well I mean like I'm on yeah I'm on Facebook for like four. So like even YouTube like Like that I would use YouTube for like things that are good for me. All right, so but I would definitely say like I'm going to figure out. So I'm Facebook as a Facebook, it's the saving light on Facebook. I think you have the link right on the thing, but I'm also on Instagram too. So it's a, the saving light.

33:38 So it's just like the underscore saving underscore light on Facebook and on Tick-Tock awesome was good to chat with you. Justin and thanks for having me, learn more about about your life, and your journey, your Awakening, and your desire to help and serve. Because that, that's, that's really what it's about it is, that's what exactly. Yeah, understand when it's not the individual Journey, it's the individual Journey can go a lot better if you make it about others. Yeah. I mean, because others, like, we could be a teacher for someone and then after that, that cursed, same person phone, you could be your teacher.

34:18 Which is Big. So if someone starting off to I think that's a big thing for people to know, you know, when you see someone helping you don't be like oh man I can't do what they do. No that's not right. Because I've had so many experiences of teachers flipping it to me being their teacher and that's a fun experience. So, yeah, have an open, heart awesome. Well again, thanks again. Justin. Thanks again, everyone for joining us today and tuning in wherever you're discovering real men. Feel, Please, Subscribe, follow. Like, share this with somebody post a review or comment. You always reach out to me. At real men, feel at gmail.com. Always glad to hear from you and the holiday season is rapidly approaching, you can grab some great, real men, feel hoodies, and t-shirts. Like the one I'm wearing for the men in your life, including yourself at real men, feel dot org, slash swag.

35:02 And if you're listening to this, you don't see me. Imagine the coolest shirt you've ever seen in your life. That's all set. So until next time be good to yourself. That's all set. So until next time be good to yourself.