Conscious Happiness | The Good Mood Revolution with Matt O'Neill

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Hello and welcome to Real Men
Field.

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I'm your host, Andy Grant.
I'm an author, coach, and

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healer.
You can learn more about me by

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visiting the andygrant.com.
Real Men Feel reminds men that

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they are human beings and that
they have the right to

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experience and express all of
their emotions.

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We have conversations that most
men are not having, but that all

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men can benefit from.
My guest today is Matt O'Neill.

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Matt is a happiness expert whose
work has positively impacted the

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lives of over 100,000 people
worldwide.

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He's the author of The Good Mood
Revolution and host of the Good

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Mood Revolution podcast.
Matt believes that happiness is

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our natural state of being.
Matt opens up about being told

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as a young child that men don't
cry and then doing his damnedest

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to make sure he didn't feel
anything.

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We also discussed the 8 bad
moods, what you can do to

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overcome them, the power of
gratitude, what anger really is,

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and that all of life is inner
work.

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Let's do it.
Hey Matt, welcome to Real Men

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feel.
What's up Andy?

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Man, I couldn't be more excited
to be here.

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Awesome, awesome.
That is great to hear you call

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yourself a happiness expert.
So does that mean like as a kid

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you were just always this happy
go lucky guy and just wanted to

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share that with the world or or
something else?

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Yes, I was.
I was super joyful actually,

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when I was a little kid, my mom
said my laugh was so infectious

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and so contagious and I had this
big laugh.

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But I, I think I came into the
world with a mission to spread

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positivity and joy.
And you know, the only way that

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you can really do that is to
also experience a lot of pain.

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And so, well, I've got this
amazing mom that was always

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uplifting me and supporting me.
I ended up with a pretty

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difficult dad who was doing the
opposite.

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He's kind of beating me down a
lot.

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And so I ended up going into a
lot of darkness and finding out

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what it's like to not be happy,
to not like yourself, to feel

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bad about yourself and many
times hate yourself.

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And climbing out of the darkness
is that when I went down back to

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that original joy that I came
into the world with and it was

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on a mission to teach people
that we don't have to suffer

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from bad moods and that there is
a way out and we can't get back

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to that joy.
That really is our innate

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nature.
Yeah, I agree.

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So what do you recall?
Like what age were you

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consciously start shutting your
happiness down and realizing or

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let's see, not realizing.
But yeah, I mean choosing to to

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because it in my experience, it
was like to navigate life.

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I can't be this happy.
Does that make sense?

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Yeah, totally makes sense.
And you know, you start

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suppressing your emotions when
you're taught to when I was a

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kid, you know, you, you get sad
and you cry.

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Well then when your dad says men
don't cry and you're like, well,

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I'm going to be a man so I'm not
going to cry, you start to say

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that emotion is not appropriate
to feel.

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I can't feel sad, right?
Or you get angry and you kick

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over the trash can like I did in
kindergarten because you got a

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pink wrapper instead of a blue
wrapper and you're a boy and

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you're not supposed to have the
pink wrapper.

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So, you know, so I took my whole
cupcake, squished it up, threw

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it the trash can, kicked the
trash can over.

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Get in big trouble for getting
angry and expressing your anger

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you start to say, all right well
I can't express that emotion

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either I can't express this
anger.

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I can't express this sadness.
Well, you start to suppress all

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of these emotions and when you
start to block the negative

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emotions from being experienced,
you also start to block the

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positive emotions from being
experienced at the same time.

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So it's like you put up all this
armor so you don't get hurt

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anymore by people.
Well, you also can't get cool

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things out and you can't get
cool things in and you would get

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shut down.
But this is kind of the macho

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way of being and the world,
especially for men, You know, I

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know this is real.
Men feel you are feeling me.

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This is what you talk about all
day long.

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But it's what happens to our
happiness too.

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We start to shut down our other
emotions.

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We shut down our happiness.
Right.

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Yeah, that's my experience too.
Like we, we can't just shut down

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some emotions.
It's like all of our emotions,

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it's like 1 pole and you can't
if you're, if you're cut off,

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you're trying to cut off the one
extreme of it.

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You're you're cutting off the
other side too.

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Yeah, You know, one of my
favorite thoughts about sadness,

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which was what I wasn't allowed
to experience.

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I wasn't allowed to experience
crying or these sad emotions.

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Is it sadness?
The other side of sadness is

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happiness, the two sides of the
same coin.

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And so you can't actually, if
you're going to not have the

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lows, you can't have the highs.
Vice versa, if you're going to

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have the highs, you're going to
have to experience the lows.

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You're going to have to get in
touch with that part of you that

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feels vulnerable and get sad
sometimes and know that yeah,

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man, sometimes things are
amazing and I love it and it

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feels so happy.
But it when those things go

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away, I get really sad, right?
We lose somebody we love and

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care about.
If we loved them a lot, it hurts

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a lot when we lose them.
And so sadness isn't necessarily

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a bad thing.
It tells us how much we love

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life.
That's a great way of putting

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it.
Yeah.

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When when I was a kid and was
depressed and in the darkness, I

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thought normal people who are
happy were happiness was this

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flat high affect.
And everybody else just they're

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all like Ned Flanders, Oakley,
Dokley, everything is great.

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Just all the time.
That's where people lived.

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And so I'm on.
It's a I don't know phrase.

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Yeah, I guess I was glad to find
out that isn't the case.

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And probably if someone does
live like that, there's probably

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something else wrong with.
That yeah, I I'm, I love the Ned

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Flanders, right?
The Ned Flanders reference.

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That's awesome, dude.
But the, when you're Ned

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Flanders, you're suppressing a
lot of emotion, right?

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So that that Ned Flanders
persona, that everything's fine.

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I'm always happy.
It's not real.

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Like that's that's not real.
So the Ned Flanders type

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personality is usually
suppressing a lot of rage and a

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lot of anger and that's going to
cause some issues.

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So you know what, what we want
to do is, yeah, we want to feel

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our emotions, but know that when
we allow these emotions to be

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experienced, it's just part of
being human that we don't have

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to get stuck in them.
They can process and flow

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through us and we can get back
to our, our base state, which is

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joy.
This morning I wasn't super

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happy.
And you know, I had an issue

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with not wanting to do my, my
day job.

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I did it.
I, I was feeling like a victim

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in my day job and my day job is
not, I'm not a victim at all.

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None of us are.
But anytime I allow myself to

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feel like a victim, I'm going to
suffer.

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So this morning I'm like, man, I
don't want to go do these

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meetings.
I don't want to go meet this

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person.
I don't want to have to deal

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with this upset person.
I just, I'm just, I just don't

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want to do any of it.
I don't want to do this, this

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career.
I just don't want to do it.

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And I was suffering and my wife
comes in and she says something

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to me and she's like, you don't
seem like you want me to be

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talking to you right now.
And I'm like, you know, I kind

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of don't.
And then she gets upset, but

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it's not about her, right?
So she gets upset with me and,

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and I'm like, and so when she
gets upset, I have to explain

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what's going on.
And this is, this is about how

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to get back to happiness is a
lot of times we don't know what

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we're upset about, but we do
need to figure it out because

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we're upset about something.
We're not just there are

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thoughts, there are core beliefs
that are going on and there are

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thoughts that are taking us away
from happiness.

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Happiness is our natural state
of being.

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It is in the absence of a very
extreme emotion that we need to

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process and feel and let move
through us.

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If we're not feeling happy and
joyful and excited, we have a

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negative belief or a belief that
is causing us to feel

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unconnected with the world.
My negative belief was I'm a

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victim.
That was this morning.

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I have to do these meetings that
I don't want to do.

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I have to meet this person that
I don't want to meet and I have

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to make this call with this
upset person that I don't want

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to make.
And so I I'm not liking my job.

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I feel like a victim to my job.
I feel like I have to do all

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these things.
So I just, I just started

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guessing with my wife.
I'm like, hey, this isn't about

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you.
I'm not upset with you.

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I'm feeling like a victim here
today about my job.

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Now, this is me after years of
working on expressing myself and

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figuring out what's going on,
right?

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To get to this point where I can
identify very clearly that I

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have some negative beliefs right
now that I feel like a victim

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and I have to do things.
But how do you get out of it?

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Well, there's totally opposite
thoughts to what I was thinking,

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which are going to make me feel
a lot better.

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The first is I'm never ever a
victim.

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Ever.
And if I was a victim, like when

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I was a kid, I was a victim to
my dad.

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I wasn't big enough.
Maybe I was in the past, but in

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this moment, I'm not a victim.
I'm responsible for everything

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in this moment.
I don't have to go to these

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meetings.
I don't, you know, you're like,

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well, if I didn't go to those
meetings, I could be fired from

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my job.
Sure, that's a consequence.

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But no one's forcing me to go to
these meetings.

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If I go, I am choosing to go.
I'm not a victim, right?

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I don't have to call the upset
person back.

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I don't if I don't want to call
her back, I don't have to call

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her.
Would there be a consequence?

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Sure.
She might get more upset, but I

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don't have to do it.
This is where you start to say,

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OK, I'm not really a victim.
Every single thing I'm doing

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today, I, I can, I'm choosing to
do.

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No one's forcing me to.
There's no gun against my head.

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And this is a little trick that
the ego plays on us.

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Like it says you have to do
this.

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No, I don't actually don't have
to.

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So I, I sat with us for a while
today and I said, I don't have

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to go to these meetings.
I don't have to call this girl

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back.
I don't have to do meet this

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guy.
I'm like, if I don't want to,

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then then I don't have to.
So I sit there.

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I'm like, OK, I don't have to.
What feels better to me?

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Does it feel better to go or
does it feel better to sit home?

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I'm like, well, I kind of think
it's going to kind of feel

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better to go.
That's step one.

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I'm choosing my life now.
Once I chose it, I then asked

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myself a very cool question, how
could I do today and enjoy it?

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And now things get really
creative and you get to start to

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say, man, how could I enjoy the
process?

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Well, I cancelled one of my
meetings.

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I did.
I, I reached out to her.

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I said, hey, I'm just overbooked
today.

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I can't do it.
I, I can we reschedule for next

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week?
She was like, sure, we'll

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reschedule for next week.
I didn't cancel the hard call I

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needed to make because that was
one that needed to be dealt

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with.
And if I didn't deal with it,

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things might have been worse.
And I, I said, that's what I

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have to make.
But I cancelled a meeting that I

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felt like I could push back a
week.

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That was kind to me.
I asked another buddy.

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I said, hey, could we talk this
morning so that I can have a

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break during the day.
I can have a lunch break.

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And he's like, yeah.
And then I had lunch with my

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wife, right?
And so I got to connect.

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00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:36,440
So I started to make my day on
my terms rather than feeling

224
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:41,080
like it was forced upon me then.
Now that the days on my terms,

225
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:44,120
dude, I went in that first
meeting and my joy was back.

226
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,280
And I started to elevate and
bring it and bring the energy

227
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,640
and the people around me respond
to my energy.

228
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:54,200
And I got all this positive
influence back and I was out of

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00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,320
the funk.
So I know I just went into a

230
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:59,320
long tirade there about a
negative mood, but this is how

231
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,160
it works.
Yeah, no.

232
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And and I totally agree.
And I've had that experience and

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took me a long time to realize
victimhood didn't serve anybody.

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And because because, you know, I
grew up, I was given all sorts

235
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of labels.
And so I would, you know, I grew

236
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,600
up believing something's wrong.
I'm, I'm defective, my chemicals

237
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,720
are all off and it'll never be
the same.

238
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,520
So I felt like I was a victim of
life.

239
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,800
So I grew up hating myself and
hating life.

240
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So what age were you at when you
realized shutting yourself down

241
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:36,000
it wasn't working?
Yeah, I think we, I think you

242
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,760
and I talked about this.
I had an awakening at age 25,

243
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:46,200
and it was the book and the
movie, The Secret and the and

244
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:51,440
the Secret said that everything
external in my life was created

245
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,920
because of my internal thoughts
and beliefs.

246
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:57,040
Yeah, well, I was blown away.
I was like, what?

247
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,520
And and it goes so far.
It's like every person in your

248
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,280
life is attracted by you.
Every situation is attracted by

249
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,000
you.
The every single thing, the

250
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,480
money in your bank account is
because of the way you think

251
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,560
that everything is because of
the way you think.

252
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,920
And I'm like, is this true?
Like could this be?

253
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:20,040
And then I just was like, all
right, I'm going to go all in.

254
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,200
I'm going to believe it.
So all the bad stuff that's

255
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,040
happening is because I'm in bad
moods.

256
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:29,360
So this is I, I don't know if
it's 100% of everything in life

257
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:32,280
is created by our thoughts and
emotions, but let's say it's

258
00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:35,480
95%.
That's a lot, right?

259
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,360
But this is the, this is how it
works.

260
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,560
If I had stayed in that bad mood
already, I had agitated my wife

261
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:45,000
because I had a negative belief
that life was happening to me

262
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:49,400
this morning.
And if, if I didn't have

263
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:53,760
awareness to it, maybe I could
have stayed agitated and I could

264
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,200
have gone into work and been
agitated in those meetings.

265
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,480
I could have ticked off that
person who was mad.

266
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,160
Even worse, she could have
gotten madder.

267
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,320
She could have then retaliated
against me.

268
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,440
I then could have stubbed my
toe, gotten into a car crash,

269
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,400
came home, yelled at my kids,
started drinking.

270
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:12,920
Like all of this from 1 Bad
mood, right?

271
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,400
And everything could have
spiraled.

272
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:18,200
I wake up tomorrow, I've got a
hangover now I'm in a worse mood

273
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,480
because I feel terrible and then
I go shout at somebody and then

274
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,800
maybe I do get fired because
this is like the 15th time that

275
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:30,080
it's happened, right?
So our thoughts and emotions do

276
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:34,280
create our actions, and then our
actions create our destiny.

277
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:40,280
So our thoughts and emotions are
our destiny, and if you don't

278
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,640
want to believe that your
thoughts and emotions attract

279
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,400
things like the secret is saying
you physically attract them,

280
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:49,160
everyone can understand this
concept that the way you feel is

281
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,920
the way you act and the way you
act creates your destiny.

282
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,760
Yeah, this.
We did talk about this when we

283
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,000
first chatted.
Then, yeah, the secret blew my

284
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,760
mind because, yeah, I was taught
I was at the mercy of my

285
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:04,000
emotions and they, you know,
chemical imbalance was, was all

286
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,360
that that was about.
And like, wait a minute, I can,

287
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,680
I can choose my thoughts.
I'm pretty sure of that.

288
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,120
And my thoughts create my
emotion.

289
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,840
So if I don't like I'm feeling,
if I change my thoughts and I

290
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,480
would experiment with that like,
all day.

291
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:18,840
Like I, it's actually in the
first book I wrote that talk

292
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,680
about this.
But I was, I remember at a time

293
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,960
I was feeling very suicidal.
And I was sitting in my bedroom

294
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:25,600
looking out the window and I saw
a big tree.

295
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,120
Every time I looked at this
tree, I just imagined myself

296
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,280
hanging from it.
And I just felt grosser and

297
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,600
grosser.
And then my dog Homer came in

298
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:37,320
the room and I'd look at Homer,
hey, and just looking at my dog

299
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,200
just made me made my mood change
already made my thought change

300
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,360
because my thought was now on
him, like, oh, what's my dog up

301
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,160
to?
And I was like, wait a minute,

302
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,680
How did I just shift that
quickly?

303
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,960
So I'd look at the tree again,
feel gross, look at my dog, feel

304
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,440
better.
I was like, this fucking works.

305
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:51,840
This gets I.
Focus on.

306
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,200
It's the thoughts I choose.
What an what an epiphany, right?

307
00:15:56,240 --> 00:16:00,360
That's a That's awake.
That's being awake it and this

308
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:06,680
is really how it works is you.
That story is such a very real

309
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,400
vulnerable story, first of all.
So I applaud you on being so

310
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,760
vulnerable and also just the way
it works.

311
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:17,240
Yeah, I'm thinking this one
thought that I should kill

312
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,680
myself.
And then I'm thinking this other

313
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:23,800
thought, Hey, this dog is really
beautiful and cool and I love

314
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,480
this dog.
Even if those aren't the exact

315
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,200
words that are coming out of you
connection with something and

316
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,960
your mood is improved, you go
back, Oh my God, that thought, I

317
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,360
don't feel good.
This thought, I do feel good.

318
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:40,680
So but the problem is, is that
we have thousands of limiting

319
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,400
beliefs and thousands of
negative thoughts.

320
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:47,680
And they're programmed from when
we were five or two or three.

321
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:52,720
And they're so ingrained in our
subconscious, we don't realize

322
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,160
that we're the ones that
programmed them.

323
00:16:56,360 --> 00:17:00,520
We were a kid so that I I told
the story about my dad saying

324
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,920
men don't cry.
I was programmed not to feel

325
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,160
sadness.
But who programmed me?

326
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,640
Not my dad.
It wasn't his words men don't

327
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,079
cry.
It was an internal decision.

328
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:14,520
When I was 5 it said I won't
cry.

329
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:22,240
So now our work to become happy
is through a being unhappy.

330
00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:26,960
So every single time we are
resisting something or we're

331
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,560
upset about something, that
moment is our opportunity to

332
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:36,000
unprogram a limiting negative
belief or keep suffering from

333
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,320
it.
If we don't unprogram it in that

334
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,520
moment, we will keep suffering
from it for the rest of our life

335
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:45,400
until we fix it.
And is there a process to

336
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,360
unprogramming is just just as
it's well at first it takes

337
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,200
awareness.
You got to be kind of be your

338
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,600
own witness and realize the
thoughts we're thinking.

339
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,680
And then, then, then how do you
kind of take apart that negative

340
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,400
thought?
Yeah, absolutely.

341
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,760
I mean it there.
It's not as complicated as we

342
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,640
think.
It's really pretty simple.

343
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,600
So our beliefs are are just a
thought.

344
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,600
So, you know, I'll just continue
to use the example I've been

345
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:13,840
using.
Men don't cry.

346
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,280
That was a belief.
It was just a thought.

347
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,480
It was suggested to me.
I made a decision.

348
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:23,200
I'm going to internalize this.
And then I started to get

349
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,160
evidence that it was true.
And so I would collect evidence.

350
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,720
I'd see John Wayne in a movie
and he looked tough and he

351
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:31,520
wasn't crying.
And then I'd see another tough

352
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,560
guy and he wasn't crying.
And all of a sudden I'm like,

353
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:37,360
I'm going to be a tough guy.
So I collected probably 100

354
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:39,680
pieces of evidence.
It supported my thought.

355
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:43,320
But then if there ever was a guy
that was in touch with his

356
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:47,640
emotions, I would see that and
discard it and say that's not

357
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,280
evidence.
I would say that's not a real

358
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:54,120
man.
And so even if I had a bunch of

359
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:57,920
great evidence of super tough
macho guys that were crying, I

360
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,880
would immediately just discard
it and and make it irrelevant

361
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,800
because I'd already created a
thought and a belief and found

362
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,800
evidence for it.
And anything I saw to the

363
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,520
contrary would no longer even
register with me.

364
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:12,960
This is the reticular activator.
The reticular activator just

365
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,760
looks for what you believe and
then serves it to you.

366
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,880
And anything that doesn't fit
what you believe, it doesn't

367
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,840
even show it to you or it comes
up with a reason for it.

368
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,640
Yeah.
So there's 8 primary bad moods.

369
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,640
There's only 8.
There's not a million.

370
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:30,600
There's 8.
Those are shame, which is a

371
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,240
feeling that I'm unlovable.
That's the most destructive one.

372
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,600
That's the worst one.
And then there's guilt, this

373
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,200
feeling that I deserve to be
punished and other people

374
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,520
deserve to be punished.
That's the second most

375
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,840
destructive one.
These, those two account for

376
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,680
really the majority of our
suffering.

377
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:53,280
But then there's a feeling of
hopelessness that we feel so

378
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,640
heavy from the shame and the
guilt.

379
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,080
That was just hope, man.
It's hopeless.

380
00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,560
I'm not going to be happy.
I can't be.

381
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,320
And then and then there's
sadness, which we discussed.

382
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:09,640
Fear or anxiety, lust, the lust
for more and more and more that

383
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,960
we can ever get out of, and then
anger and then pride.

384
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:16,080
All of our negativity comes from
these eight emotions.

385
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,600
All we have to do is do what you
said, get really, really good at

386
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,680
awareness of saying I don't feel
good.

387
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,760
And then the process is really
simple.

388
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,080
We ask ourself, what am I
feeling?

389
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,360
What am I believing?
So what am I feeling right now?

390
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,960
And then what am I believing?
At first we're not really good

391
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,560
at it.
At first we're just feeling in a

392
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,240
funk and we don't even know why.
We're just like, I'm just in a

393
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,920
funk.
It is though, created by

394
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,840
thoughts and beliefs. 100% it's
created by thoughts and beliefs.

395
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,640
Your story illustrated it
perfectly.

396
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,960
So, but it's also not that
difficult.

397
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:58,320
I, I grab a a pen and a paper
and I say, what am I feeling?

398
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,560
I feel like crap right now.
OK, what am I believing?

399
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,600
I don't know.
We got to ask again.

400
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:10,080
You got to say if this feeling
like crap could talk, what would

401
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,360
it say?
What words would come out of it?

402
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,280
Well, that's how that's what
happened this morning.

403
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:19,120
I shared that whole story.
It was and I and I'm sure and

404
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,240
and Andy, I'll, I'll throw it to
you because your story was

405
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,080
really powerful when you were
feeling like crap and you kept

406
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,080
looking at that tree and
thinking that you would take

407
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,680
your life.
What were the thoughts that were

408
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:29,320
going on?
What?

409
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,720
What would it have said when you
were in that kind of negative

410
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:39,960
thought pattern?
Yeah, I mean, I, I, I was

411
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,960
feeling hopeless and helpless.
And if I asked that, yeah, it

412
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,360
was just do it.
Like, you know, I saw myself

413
00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:49,600
hanging and the, the, the, the
voice, the, the, the impulse was

414
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,160
like, yeah, do it.
That's the answer.

415
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:52,840
That's that's that's the best
thing to do.

416
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,520
Yeah, it's it's your highest
choice at that point.

417
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:59,440
It really when you're hopeless.
That's the thing people don't

418
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,840
understand about suicide, is
that it was that person's

419
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:05,160
highest choice in that moment.
It doesn't make any sense to

420
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,960
somebody that's not lost in the
emotional hopelessness.

421
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,240
And cause and, and the choices,
well, if you want to end this

422
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,800
pain, if you want to end this
feeling, that's the, that's my

423
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,160
best suggestion.
You know, bad part of me, you

424
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,280
know, it's like, let's let's go
get get the rope and get to that

425
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:20,640
tree.
Yeah.

426
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,560
Yeah.
So the emotion.

427
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:27,000
The emotional hopelessness is is
the only emotion that we

428
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:31,200
actually need help.
That's the only of the eight

429
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,520
that we cannot pull ourselves
out of.

430
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,120
You were able to that was really
profound that you were able to

431
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:39,200
see that you could focus on some
positive things and see some

432
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:42,200
some love and light.
But if we really are lost in

433
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:46,440
hopelessness, we truly believe
we are beyond hope and that the

434
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:50,880
suffering will always be there.
The reality is, it's not true,

435
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,680
ever.
It's not ever bond beyond hope

436
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,360
and the light is just behind the
clouds.

437
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,680
But when we feel like we're
beyond hope, we don't believe

438
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,720
that there is hope.
So in that time, we have to call

439
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,280
on help.
We have to.

440
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:09,160
It's the only choice.
We need someone else to help us,

441
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,960
and that comes in the form of
somebody who loves us.

442
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:15,320
Even if it's a psychologist, a
therapist, whatever it's their

443
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:20,080
unconditional love of, then
pulling us out of the emotional

444
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,600
hopelessness is starting to show
us that there is light at the

445
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:26,360
end of the tunnel.
I don't know if how you felt

446
00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:29,040
about that.
Yeah, and for me at that time it

447
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:32,200
was it was unconditional love.
It was it was Homer, right?

448
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,320
It was saying that wow, he's he
still loves me.

449
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,360
He wants to go play.
He's full of life.

450
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,000
And but even though it was weird
because like I did, I've done a

451
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:44,240
multiple episodes about dog men
and dogs because they I find so

452
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,560
many guys that won't tell anyone
how they feel, they do tell

453
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,240
their dog.
And that's what that that loss

454
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,000
of a dog can be more impactful
because they know all your

455
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,720
secrets and you owe them
everything and they've seen you

456
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,640
bawling if no other, perhaps no
human being has ever seen you

457
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,040
cry but your dog.
Has.

458
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,920
But yeah, it was that that
that's why, yeah, I recommend

459
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,400
for when guys reach out and they
just really crushed and they're

460
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,120
they're alone and they're
desperate.

461
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:12,400
Like consider a pet, get
something that just is love,

462
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,560
right?
Yeah, and I'm a really spiritual

463
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:19,920
person and it's I wouldn't put
it past God or the universe that

464
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:21,720
they sent Homer in at that
moment.

465
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,800
Oh yeah, yeah, no, no, no doubt
about.

466
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,480
It I've had, I've talked to
other people who were on the

467
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:32,480
brink of killing themselves and
a bird or an animal comes into

468
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,760
the picture and it changes
everything.

469
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:40,680
Yeah, And then, you know, a
friend of mine, Kevin Hines,

470
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,920
he's infamous.
He he jumped off the Golden Gate

471
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:48,840
Bridge and and lived and he was
walking back and forth from the

472
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,200
bridge wishing for someone to
smile at him.

473
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,640
He wanted some kind.
He looks so even at that point,

474
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,360
and I know every time, you know,
I've been on that brink, I'm

475
00:24:57,360 --> 00:25:00,440
like, boy, if I just, well, if,
if something happens, I won't go

476
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,600
through with it.
Well, if if one person smiles at

477
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,800
me, I won't go through with it.
If, if my dog interrupts me, I

478
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,560
won't go through with it, right.
So there's all these.

479
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,920
And that's when I finally
learned like, I really don't

480
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,920
want to die because I have all
these well, maybe, or if I, you

481
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:15,000
know, making all these outs.
So that's why when I talk about

482
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,720
it now, I I believed I wanted to
die as opposed to saying, Oh, I

483
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,400
was 18 and I wanted to die.
Like, no, I believed I did.

484
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:22,760
But.
You didn't really.

485
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,200
Yeah.
There was a There was a higher

486
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,200
desire to live than to die.
Let's talk about some things,

487
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,440
though, that we can do beyond
hopelessness.

488
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,440
So if if you're ever you're
feeling hopeless, I want you to

489
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,840
know that it's life's never
beyond hope.

490
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,920
You can absolutely reach out to
Andy.

491
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,840
You can absolutely reach out to
me.

492
00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:42,280
The two of us will surround you
in unconditional love and we

493
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,040
will help you out of that
emotion.

494
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,840
There are 800 hotlines you can
call.

495
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,520
There's people in your phone
that love you.

496
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,720
There's so many people that like
when we get lost in that

497
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:55,720
emotion, we, we, we're like, no,
there's no one that can help me,

498
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,160
but it's not true.
So just know that right now,

499
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:02,440
we're planting the seed in you
right now that life is never

500
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,560
beyond hope.
And to know that there that

501
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,520
there are people that will love
you and be there for you.

502
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:12,000
Another but but another really
common emotion that we go to for

503
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,960
men especially is anger.
For whatever reason, it's OK for

504
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,560
us to express anger and feel
anger, but it's not OK to

505
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:25,560
express anything vulnerable.
So anger is always coming in to

506
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,720
cover up a feeling of
vulnerability.

507
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:34,080
It's not the real emotion.
When we feel anger, we are

508
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:38,800
actually feeling hurt or afraid.
But we don't want, we don't feel

509
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,560
OK to to feel the hurt or the
fear.

510
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:46,800
And so we let the anger come in
and be the bully and cover it up

511
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,480
so fast that we don't have to
like show anybody that we're

512
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,280
vulnerable and then we try to
overpower them.

513
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,720
But that's not going to go well
because we can't be angry and we

514
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,040
can't be happy at the same time.
You can't have them both.

515
00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:00,360
You can't be both happy and then
angry at somebody.

516
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,520
You can't be happy and even
frustrated.

517
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,960
You can't be happy and annoyed.
You can't be happy.

518
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,640
And anything has having to do
with any hint of anger at all.

519
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:13,840
So anger is going to be an aunt
is going to be a negative

520
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:18,280
happiness for us.
Why do you guys love it so much?

521
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:23,360
Because it looks like it's
powerful again, Macho, right?

522
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:27,200
We see TV and the guy, the guy
gets angry and then he goes and,

523
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,880
you know, shoots 1,000,000
people and then like, wins, wins

524
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,480
the whole thing.
Or, you know, he gets angry and

525
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,560
then he ends up dominating
something in sports.

526
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,720
That was Michael Jordan's thing
is he would just get really

527
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,520
angry.
And so we think it's macho.

528
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:41,560
What?
Man?

529
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:46,920
It's not the real alpha.
The real alpha is the person

530
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:51,200
that can stay calm and composed
no matter what's going on.

531
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:57,160
If you're if you're ever around
a true alpha male, anger is not

532
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:57,840
part of it.
Go.

533
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,640
Ahead.
You know when somebody is not an

534
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,520
alpha because they're getting
angry.

535
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,560
And in when you're when you're a
true alpha and you know that

536
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:11,000
anger no longer serves, you can
see the person getting angry and

537
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,440
know that they they don't have
the composure that they need.

538
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:19,520
I want to back up a little bit
because we, you know, kind of

539
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,720
one of the, the first elements
was, was awareness, need the

540
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,640
awareness to step back and
witness your, yourself, your,

541
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,640
your thoughts, your emotions
before you can start journaling

542
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:32,040
and, and taking things apart.
So for me, what raised my

543
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,800
awareness was, was it was
meditation.

544
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,720
It wasn't until I had a
meditation practice that I felt

545
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,960
aware of anything.
So I wonder what did you have?

546
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,640
What, what did you have and what
what tips you have for for

547
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,640
raising someone's awareness
instead of just someone that if

548
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,200
you know, just being sad, just
being hopeless, just feel like

549
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,200
they're there's that all the
time and that's all there is.

550
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:55,880
Meditations is my go to is well,
this is The thing is that this

551
00:28:55,880 --> 00:29:00,600
isn't all of life is inner work.
All of it.

552
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,920
My my good friend Matt
Michaletti wrote a book called

553
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:06,560
The Inner work.
Our entire experience of life is

554
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,960
inside our own head.
We think that we're having an

555
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:11,520
outward experience.
We're not.

556
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,840
We see things.
Our retina then turns it into

557
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,000
images that we see inside of our
brain.

558
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,080
We hear things our brain turns
in or our ears turn into

559
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,160
signals.
We experience in our brain, we

560
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,680
taste things, it turns into
signals and it tells our brain

561
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,680
what we're tasting.
We don't actually feel anything.

562
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,040
All of it is experienced inside
of ourself.

563
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,640
And so the journey is an inward
journey.

564
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,320
We have to go inward and
meditation.

565
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:38,920
It's not, it's not fancy.
You know what?

566
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,200
I didn't know how to meditate.
I used to think that it was

567
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,800
something that was had to be
taught to you.

568
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:48,800
It's just being reflective.
It's being reflective and taking

569
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:53,040
time to work on seeing what's
going on in your, in your head.

570
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:59,200
Usually we're unconscious.
Our thoughts are just racing and

571
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:00,880
we're believing all of these
thoughts.

572
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,080
But we, these thoughts are not
real.

573
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,600
They're not us.
They're served up.

574
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:08,120
They're created by our brain.
I like to explain.

575
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:14,800
Explain it like this, Andy, you
have a heart and its job is to

576
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:18,080
beat.
Tell your heart to stop beating

577
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,320
right now.
I've tried.

578
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:22,680
Can't do it.
Can't, right?

579
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:26,120
You have lungs.
Their job is to breathe.

580
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,720
Try to tell your lungs to stop
breathing for more than 4

581
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,320
minutes.
You can't, right?

582
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,720
You have a brain, its job is to
think thoughts.

583
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:40,400
Try to tell your brain to have
no thoughts for four minutes.

584
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:46,680
We can't.
So meditation is beautiful

585
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:51,200
because we start to say, OK, I'm
going to focus on something like

586
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:56,360
my breath and I'm going to not
focus on the thoughts.

587
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,040
When we're not meditating, what
we do is every thought that

588
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,760
serves up to us, we just think
it's who we are and that's and

589
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,040
it's real.
It's not A brain is just

590
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,720
thinking thoughts, just like the
heart is just beating us.

591
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,200
His job is just to present
thoughts.

592
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:12,400
The thoughts aren't even true.
The thoughts are just the brain.

593
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,480
It's just regurgitating
experiences and different things

594
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,880
that you had and fears and
anxieties and pleasures and

595
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,680
hunger or whatever else.
The brain is just doing its job

596
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,920
to keep us alive.
But when we meditate, we start

597
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:28,280
to see these thoughts and we're
like, oh, that's an interesting

598
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:29,680
thought.
I'm not going to follow it, but

599
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:32,880
that's an interesting one.
And then we start to say, Oh my

600
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,240
God, I don't have to believe all
these thoughts.

601
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:40,560
And this is a game changer for
us because we recognize I am not

602
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:44,040
my thoughts.
I am a separate consciousness

603
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:49,120
that is aware that there are
thoughts and that I can see that

604
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:52,800
not all of them are even true.
In fact, none of them are true,

605
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,000
but some of them make me feel
good and some of them make me

606
00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,400
feel bad.
So now with this like separation

607
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,600
meditation gives us some
separation between our thoughts.

608
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,960
We then can start to choose
which thoughts we're going to

609
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:07,520
believe today.
Yep, yeah.

610
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:11,440
When one obstacle to me even try
meditation was I thought

611
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,720
meditation meant having no
thoughts and I couldn't do make

612
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,240
that happen.
But when I realized that, oh,

613
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,160
meditation is, is just observing
your thoughts again, not being

614
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:22,680
attached to them, not chasing
them, not going down any rabbit

615
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:25,360
hole that you think of, then
like, oh, well, this is actually

616
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:27,800
easy.
It's just being right.

617
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:32,600
And the tool that helped me was
called Holosync, and that was C

618
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:34,080
DS.
You'd listen, I'd listen to

619
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,920
these C DS and they would, the
technology in the headset would

620
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,360
make your brain meditate.
It would make your brain go into

621
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:43,160
the right delta waves.
I believe it was.

622
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,840
But anyway, thinking I, I
couldn't do it.

623
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,800
So I bought a tool that did it
to me.

624
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,040
And so if anyone is stuck
thinking they can't do

625
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:51,800
something, there are ways that
can help them.

626
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,000
And, and all, all sorts of
technology with binaural beats

627
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:58,080
can put you in a meditative
state despite your efforts and

628
00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,560
beliefs that you perhaps you
can't do it.

629
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,840
But you know, I, I've, I've met
lots of people that say they'd

630
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:08,080
rather be right than be happy.
I wonder if if you come across

631
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:11,680
what what do you see people
choosing over happiness?

632
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:15,760
Yeah, yeah.
So interesting is that you can't

633
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,360
be right and happy at the same
time.

634
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:23,200
Actually.
So in in my book, The Good Mood

635
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:27,600
Revolution, the first good mood
is humility.

636
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:33,920
And it's because once we're
humble and we have humility, we

637
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:37,240
recognize that none of our
thoughts are ever right.

638
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,120
This is wild.
It will blow your mind.

639
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,440
I watched the presidential
debate last night.

640
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:49,480
I can see how one side that that
loves Trump would love every

641
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,640
answer he said, and other side
that hates Trump would hate

642
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,720
every answer he said.
And one side that loves Kamala

643
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,120
would love every answer she
said, and the other side that

644
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,320
hates Kamala would hate every
answer she said.

645
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:09,120
So who's right in the debate?
Neither of them, and they're

646
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:10,719
not.
It's just a perspective.

647
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,000
So then this gets to our own
thoughts.

648
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:17,199
Our own thoughts are never 100%
right.

649
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:21,480
In fact, you start to learn that
the exact opposite of my thought

650
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,920
is also right.
And that is mind blowing.

651
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:31,080
And that's a big, big shift in
reality is that I'm never right.

652
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,040
My thoughts are never 100%
truth.

653
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,800
Truth, like I know this is a
little bit difficult to explain,

654
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:42,800
but truth is so big.
That encompasses all sides.

655
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,960
The Republicans are right, the
Democrats are right, the

656
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,800
Republicans are wrong, The
Democrats are wrong.

657
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,320
At the same time, both sides are
right and wrong.

658
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:54,280
So I could say, hey, I'm a
really strong man, and then I

659
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,480
could also say I'm a really weak
man.

660
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:59,720
I can find evidence for both.
They're exactly opposite

661
00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:03,640
thoughts right now.
Somebody who's extremely

662
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:08,080
analytical would say, well, you
know, I could measure this thing

663
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:11,840
and it's exactly 25 inches long.
And so I know that it's exactly

664
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:13,640
25 inches long.
And that's right.

665
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,640
And I would say even that's not
right.

666
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:22,520
Like we could go ahead and and
put that thing into some type of

667
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:26,760
a warped situation and the
molecules would evaporate or

668
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:28,400
whatever.
Like you put it underwater, it

669
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,960
measures different.
There's just no truth that we

670
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:35,400
can ever really point to.
And and by the way, you said it,

671
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,000
you know, I, I would say you
said inches and then somebody in

672
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,480
Europe would say centimeters.
So right.

673
00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:45,360
So like the point is, is that we
cannot get attached to ever

674
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,080
being right.
It's our own thoughts that we

675
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,000
cling to that create our
suffering.

676
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:53,640
When we want to say my story is
the way it should be.

677
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:56,760
It's our story that creates our
suffering.

678
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:00,560
And the example I gave this
morning, I felt like I was a

679
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,920
victim.
I, I had a lot of evidence that

680
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:08,120
said I was a lot of things that
I, I was clinging to that were

681
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,360
saying I was a victim.
I also had a lot of evidence

682
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:14,760
that said I was blessed, right?
Which one's right?

683
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,840
Was IA victim or was I blessed?
Both are right.

684
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:22,560
It's just which thought makes me
feel better today.

685
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,080
I know you might think if if you
love being right.

686
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,280
I loved I used to love.
I'm a recovering person who

687
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:31,360
loves being right.
You might think that being right

688
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:34,640
makes you feel better.
It actually doesn't because you

689
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:38,920
can't be right and happy at the
same time, so you have to break

690
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,960
the habit.
Being right is a this is the 8th

691
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,640
bad mood is pride.
Being right is the 8th bad mood.

692
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,680
It's my way is the right way.
I know best.

693
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:50,760
I know what's right.
You don't.

694
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:55,160
I'm superior.
The issue with that is, is that

695
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,280
that when we're feeling that
we're right, we're also saying

696
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,200
that other people are wrong.
And then we have this fear that

697
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,440
then sometimes they'll be right
and we'll be wrong.

698
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:07,360
And we're always in this
constant comparison dance in

699
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,160
comparison to the death of joy.
We can't be comparing and be

700
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:14,040
joyful at the same time.
Joy is found in this present

701
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:17,320
moment, loving it exactly as it
is.

702
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:20,000
So I love you brought that
question up.

703
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,560
I again, I just went on a big
tirade about it.

704
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,920
But no, we can't be right and
happy at the same time.

705
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:29,560
So you mentioned the book The
Good Mood Revolution.

706
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:31,960
What, What prompted you?
What prompted you to write that?

707
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:38,240
Yeah, again, I feel like I was
born to write it.

708
00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:41,120
I've had these prompting since I
was a kid that I was going to

709
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,520
write a book and I was going to
help people learn how to be

710
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,760
happier.
Even in the moments I was really

711
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:51,800
unhappy and I was abusing drugs
and alcohol on a daily basis.

712
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:56,480
And which again, is, you know,
making terribly destructive

713
00:37:56,480 --> 00:38:00,000
choices.
These are this is your my own

714
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,280
self destruction.
Like that's the path I went down

715
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,080
to destroy myself.
Even during those times, I would

716
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,000
still get promptings.
They're like, oh, you're going

717
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,720
to write a book and teach people
how to be happy.

718
00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:12,960
I'm like, I'm not happy.
Like who am I to teach this

719
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:17,960
other people how to do this?
And but it just kept showing up.

720
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:21,400
And then eventually as I started
to get out of the darkness that

721
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:24,960
I was in and I started to learn
all these things, I went on like

722
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:29,160
a, a 15 year quest learning all
the secrets about how to be

723
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:30,880
really happy.
I finally said I'm ready to

724
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:32,400
write that book.
I said I was always going to

725
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:35,560
write.
And, and then, and then it took

726
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:40,160
me 4 years, took me 4 years to
write it because I really wanted

727
00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:45,320
to teach from authenticity, like
how to get out of hopelessness.

728
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:49,960
I had to feel hopeless during
the time I was writing that in

729
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:53,600
order to get out of it and teach
people how to get out, to teach

730
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:56,400
people how to get out of pride,
I had to experience extreme

731
00:38:56,400 --> 00:39:00,200
pride and then like how
destructive that can be in order

732
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:02,200
to teach people how to get out
of that emotion.

733
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:06,880
And then on the 8 positive
emotions I write about, I, I'm

734
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:11,520
like, man, I can't write a
chapter about living as love if

735
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,560
I don't really authentically
feel like I'm living as love.

736
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:18,600
So it took me that chapter took
me the longest because it I

737
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:24,480
really, I, I needed to embody
how to be love in order to teach

738
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,680
people how to be love.
I wasn't going to write from

739
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,400
theory.
I had to write from experience.

740
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,560
And yeah, but it it, it, it's
awesome.

741
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:37,320
It's the book change.
Even if even if I no one else

742
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,640
gets helped in the world, I'm
helped, right?

743
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:44,400
Being, being the lessons was the
greatest gift in my life.

744
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:46,840
Yeah, yeah.
If you really want to know

745
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:50,400
something, teach it right.
And if you want to find out that

746
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,760
you know what you talk about,
yeah, write about it and Share

747
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,280
your story.
And yeah, the one of the final,

748
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:58,680
my book, still here, How to
Succeed at Life After Failing at

749
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:00,840
Suicide.
It shares everything I learned

750
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:02,440
the hard way.
And I don't recommend this path,

751
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,200
but here's what I got from it.
And then the final chapter, I,

752
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,760
before releasing it, I felt so
unworthy.

753
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:11,320
I stopped doing all the positive
things I learned until this

754
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,920
chapter about like, yeah, I went
back down the tubes.

755
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,640
And I wrote about that and
shared that like, how do I, how

756
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:17,560
do I know this will work for
you?

757
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,800
Because when I stopped doing it,
it, everything I talked about

758
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,080
went away.
Wow, like shit all over again.

759
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,200
So I'm.
Really curious, what were the

760
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:28,480
positive things that you taught
that you stopped doing?

761
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:33,880
Oh, daily meditation, exercise,
just just every bit of self-care

762
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,200
journaling.
I've made a great, I've

763
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:42,760
maintained a gratitude journal
since 2008, except for these

764
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,080
short periods where I go, screw
that, I'm not doing this

765
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:46,120
anymore.
What a waste of time.

766
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:47,960
And then I'm like, why do I feel
worse?

767
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:52,920
So, and that's always been my
first thing when I go into the

768
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,200
despair and I've given up on
everything.

769
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,680
The first thing that I do to
start coming back to when I

770
00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:02,880
realize, all right, I've made
this pit of misery, I'm sick of

771
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,640
it.
The first thing I do is start

772
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:06,640
the gratitude journal again
because it's the easiest thing

773
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:08,320
to do.
There's no barrier to entry.

774
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,600
You can speak it to your phone.
You know, just I find that

775
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,480
keeping it, just having
gratitude thoughts isn't enough.

776
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,840
I got to put it on paper, put it
into voice it, speak it out loud

777
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:21,520
and into a phone, record it, but
you know, make it not just be

778
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,280
internal.
But if I come up with three to

779
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:26,720
five things that I'm grateful
for, that that starts the mood

780
00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:30,320
with all energy is contagious.
And so when we get our awareness

781
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,760
and we change, consciously
change, consciously choose

782
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,840
happiness.
Gratitude is a huge fuel for

783
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,280
happiness, I find.
And that's just the easiest

784
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:41,320
thing for me to to hold on to
and and and ride back up.

785
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:47,080
It's exactly what I teach
exactly to AT So gratitude is

786
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:52,000
one of the 8 good moods I talk
about and it's not always

787
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,360
possible to go from a negative
mood to a happy one.

788
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:59,760
It is always possible to go from
a negative mood to a grateful

789
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:01,360
one.
Always.

790
00:42:02,240 --> 00:42:06,600
Gratitude is a keystone to
happiness.

791
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:10,120
It is it is actually the
stepping stone to happiness You

792
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:14,040
you put it really beautifully.
I also practice gratitude by

793
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:18,240
writing it down in a journal and
have been every day for the last

794
00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:22,280
15 years.
And but I, I like, I want to

795
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:24,760
live grateful.
I want to live grateful.

796
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,520
And I love that you said it's
contagious.

797
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,920
Yeah, whatever we think all the
time is contagious or we think

798
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:32,240
more of it.
Whatever we do all the time is

799
00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:34,520
contagious.
And we do more of it is actually

800
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:38,360
whatever we do often we want to
do more often.

801
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,640
So the more often we do
gratitude.

802
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:45,400
And, and so for me, I, I am
planning in my day in multiple

803
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,800
times throughout the day as I've
started to say a prayer of

804
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:54,200
gratitude before every meal.
Like we wonder though, man, it

805
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:57,840
takes a lot of time for Andy to
do this journal and then and

806
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:00,080
then now before every meal we
got to pray.

807
00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:02,800
You know, I was out at, I was
out at lunch with people I

808
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,640
didn't know yesterday.
And, and I, you know, I didn't,

809
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:09,360
I didn't, I didn't know them
well enough to say, Hey, can I

810
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:12,800
pray over our food?
I just said a little prayer

811
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:16,920
silently to myself saying thank
you, God for this food.

812
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:20,080
Right now there are there are
people in the world that don't

813
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,800
have food.
There's there's people in it in

814
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:24,800
your town right now that don't
have food.

815
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,560
It to be food insecure.
Like we don't understand if you

816
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:32,560
always have food, you don't
understand what a gift is that

817
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:35,960
you always have food.
Saying thank you that you're

818
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,000
being nourished today with food.
That's gratitude.

819
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,920
So now, if you eat three times a
day, that's three more chances

820
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,520
to be grateful Today.
Put that on top of a gratitude

821
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:47,560
journal.
We're now starting to live as

822
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:51,760
gratitude, and there's no way if
you just did these little tiny

823
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:55,200
things about gratitude that your
mood wouldn't improve, because

824
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,920
it would.
I'll share one more gratitude

825
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:01,160
tip right here.
I always carry this yellow pad

826
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:04,080
with me and it's jotting down
all the great things that happen

827
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:06,160
each day.
So when I'm journaling at night,

828
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:08,880
I don't have to just remember it
because it's it's like I capture

829
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,320
I found a quarter.
Like it's to tiny things that

830
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,400
might be forgotten.
Like Oh yeah, hey, I found a

831
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,520
quarter.
Yeah, but whatever it is.

832
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:19,280
And sometimes this Pat,
sometimes I'll have 5025 things

833
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:22,920
and it's like, if I didn't jot
it down, there are things I

834
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:24,760
would have forgotten even with
awareness.

835
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:26,320
Just get busy.
But like, wow, here's all the

836
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:28,280
great things.
Or had a great male lunch, met a

837
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,000
new person.
Like whatever it is that I I

838
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,040
captured in that moment.
So.

839
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:35,600
I, I want to, I want to point
out why this is so important for

840
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,000
happiness.
What you're doing it.

841
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:41,080
I also do what you're talking
about and so that the person

842
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,440
that's listening, this is so
key.

843
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:48,120
The reason is, is that our brain
is always looking for what's not

844
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:49,920
going right.
Always.

845
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:54,240
It always is.
It's scanning the Savannah to

846
00:44:54,240 --> 00:44:56,200
find the lion that's going to
kill us.

847
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,200
It's beating us up when we make
a mistake.

848
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,640
It's always pointing out all of
our flaws.

849
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,000
Our brain is skewed to the
negative.

850
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:08,640
I think I I read a statistic
that said 80% of our thoughts

851
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:12,520
are negative and repetitive.
So if the brains always going to

852
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:15,680
tell us what we're doing wrong,
when are we going to tell

853
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:16,960
ourselves what we're doing
right?

854
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,760
Well, Andy's doing it.
And it's not just, he's not just

855
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,560
being like, oh, that went good,
good job.

856
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:24,120
You found a quarter.
And you're not just patting

857
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:26,400
yourself on the back.
You're writing it down on a

858
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:31,440
piece of paper that is so
powerful, Really, really

859
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,680
powerful.
We have roughly 60,000 thoughts

860
00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:38,840
a day.
We say roughly 6000 words a day,

861
00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:42,600
but how many words do we
typically write in a day?

862
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,400
For most people, it's fewer than
200.

863
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:50,120
So whatever.
Your subconscious pays very,

864
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:54,680
very close attention to words.
We write down South, writing

865
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:57,480
down our gratitude.
I love that you said, hey, that

866
00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,480
is more powerful for me than
just thinking it.

867
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,520
Yeah, it is more powerful.
Your subconscious pays very

868
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:04,400
close attention.
You don't write many things.

869
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:08,440
Writing down that you found a
quarter, it's like, oh, now your

870
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,680
subconscious starts to notice,
oh, I did that.

871
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,600
Well, I did this.
Well, that went right.

872
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,880
This went right eventually when
this is a habit and then you go

873
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,840
and review it later that day,
you start to feel like your

874
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:22,560
whole life goes right all the
time and then you're really

875
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:25,720
happy with your life like you
have just described.

876
00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:30,480
How to reprogram ourselves from
a negative mindset to a +1.

877
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:32,640
It's beautiful.
Awesome.

878
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,160
So I know you have a podcast
called The Good Mood Revolution

879
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,000
as as well.
Tell me about that.

880
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:45,880
Yeah, man, every week I am
talking about tips to feel

881
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:49,640
happy.
So, you know, it's you, you get

882
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,960
into feeling the emotions.
For me, it's just like

883
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:55,280
strategies and tips just like
you just shared.

884
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:59,400
And so you know that, you know,
if somebody's looking for more

885
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:03,240
tips and just says, OK, I want
to feel my emotions and Andy's

886
00:47:03,240 --> 00:47:05,320
the best guy in the world for
that.

887
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:08,240
And then also I want to learn
some more strategies like this

888
00:47:08,240 --> 00:47:10,120
on how to how to have happy
habits.

889
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:12,920
Then Good Mood Revolution is a
good a good spot for that.

890
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,840
Awesome.
And what's the best way for

891
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:18,120
people to learn about all the
things that you're up to?

892
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,080
When Waiter discovered the
podcast and the book.

893
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:23,920
Yeah, I mean, if, if someone is
out there thinking that they are

894
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,280
like, man, I, I want to take
this to another level.

895
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:30,080
I do offer one-on-one coaching
and, and, and you can reach out

896
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:36,320
to me at mattoneill.com.
And will there be information on

897
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:39,120
the podcast and track that like
on every platform and yeah.

898
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:40,720
The podcast is on all the
platforms.

899
00:47:40,720 --> 00:47:43,200
It's also on mattoneill.com, the
books on Amazon.

900
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:45,160
Beautiful.
Awesome.

901
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,200
Well, Matt, I really appreciate
the time.

902
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:54,080
I appreciate your growth and
your willingness to share it

903
00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:59,600
because I find that, you know,
my experience, my most potent

904
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:03,520
healing is tied to being of
service with it as well.

905
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,200
So I find, especially for men,
the more that that you and I are

906
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:11,840
willing to share, the more we
remind other men that they have

907
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:16,400
skills and powers and abilities
that they might judge as somehow

908
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,160
not being a good, good manly
things.

909
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:22,960
And you, you, you can be the
Auntie John Wayne and connect

910
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:24,920
with a lot of people and help a
lot of people.

911
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:28,200
And yeah, there's so many things
you share that I that I really

912
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:31,720
love and the, the notion that
we're none of our thoughts are

913
00:48:31,720 --> 00:48:35,000
100% right and that that we're,
we're our country thoughts and

914
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,720
our, we're both sides of every
thought we have.

915
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:40,680
So that's that's some powerful
stuff, so.

916
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:46,880
Same, same man, dude like you,
the the things that you share or

917
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:52,040
what I write about in my book,
like with this truth is truth

918
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:55,480
and you found your way to so
much truth and your growth is

919
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:57,640
just so impressive.
Your show is so impressive.

920
00:48:57,640 --> 00:48:59,680
I'm a huge fan of you and it's
just been an honor.

921
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:02,480
Awesome.
Well, thanks again, Matt.

922
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:04,920
Thanks for everyone joining,
listening to us today, visit

923
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:07,120
Real Men Feel for the blog post
from this episode.

924
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:09,480
We have various links to all the
resources discuss Matt's books,

925
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:13,760
every book we've talked about,
you know, heck if the secret's

926
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,200
still around, we'll link to the
secret.

927
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:18,080
But everything there's, there's
lots of tools.

928
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:21,360
There's lots of ways that you
can improve your mood, your

929
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:24,120
attitude, your life, and
wherever you're discovering Real

930
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:27,320
Men feel Give some love back.
Subscribe, follow, like, share

931
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,960
this with somebody, post a
review or a comment and you can

932
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,800
always reach me at
realmanfeel@gmail.com.

933
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:36,280
And until next time, be grateful
for yourself.