Enough Already: Rediscovering Our Humanity with Colin Kingsmill

0:00 Hello and welcome to Real Men Feel. I am your host, author, coach, and Taylor Andy Grant. You can visit theandygrant.com to learn more about me. Real Men Feel reminds men that they are human beings and have the right to experience and express all of their emotions. We have conversations that most men are not having, but that all men can benefit from. My guest today is Colin Kingsman. Collin is a super interesting dude, a former Swiss banker who thought he was living his best life until a car accident woke him up to search for a deeper meaning and connection. We have a profound discussion around success, worthiness and being of service. Collin opens up about his core wound and what led him to creating the Enough Already movement.

0:43 Enough Already focuses on rediscovering our humanity and living fearlessly with integrity. We also explore the trappings of corporations, potential dangers of spirituality and the roots of a lack mindset. Horrible Internet connectivity on Maya and caused us to abort our first conversation and pick it up a couple days later. So if you think people suddenly change outfits at the end of the show, you have not lost your mind. Let's do it. Hello Colin, and welcome to Real Men Feel hey. Thank you for having me, appreciate it. I'm really been looking forward to this conversation. We had a brief chat but before the show and I find you to be a very intriguing individual, so let's just jump right in. What is enough already?

1:29 The beginning of a movement for people that are saying enough already to to what's going on in the world. And what do I mean by that first? The first thing is I believe people have lost touch with their humanity or their sense of humanity and there's all kinds of ramifications about that we can dive into. I believe people are not living and breathing in integrity. So they're, they, many of us are living behind masks. We are living afraid all the time. So, so whether that's guilt or however fear portrays itself and we're tied down, we're tethered down by our psychological suffering. So for me, enough already is saying no to all of those things or saying yes to humanity, yes to integrity, yes to being fearless and no to psychological suffering and, and, and becoming free and untethered.

2:24 That's, that's the idea. It's enough already of kind of the corporatism that has taken over the world, the healthcare, that's not healthcare, food, that is not food governance, that is not governance. You know, the list goes on and on. The idea is to really just to start to shake things up in every industry. So always like to ask guests for definitions of terms. So we're us, we in this conversation and all listeners can be on the same page and make sure So sure what? And I've heard this many times and I rarely hear a definition. So how would you define humanity? Oh, that's a good question. It it it for me, it is the recognition that we are one lineage on one Little Rock flying through the Galaxy. I like that.

3:07 Basically, you know, I think, I think we tend to forget, right? We tend to forget that we are on a on a speck of dust flying through a Galaxy we know nothing about and we have created in and especially more recently, all of this division, right? I am this, you are that, whether it is the country you're, you're from the, the religion, you are from sex, gender, I mean, it's just this division of Labor almost, but it's not labor. But this, this like a puzzle. We've been subdivided, right? So for me, humanity is putting back together that puzzle and saying we are one and let's treat ourselves.

3:53 Let's treat others, and let's treat the planet that way. And then how would you define integrity? Integrity for me is, is really about living and breathing who you actually are, right? So it's a matter of breaking, taking away the mask or taking it or, or not be, not being the actor you are in your day-to-day with your spouse, partner, husband, whatever family, etcetera, etcetera. I, I think we've, we live it. We live in a world where people are expected to perform and be something different than who they actually are. So it's really an acceptance of who you truly are and and trying to live that way and breathe that way. OK, so Colin, who are you truly?

4:47 That's a good question. I really don't know and I almost actually don't care anymore. You know what, what when I was living in sort of chapter one of my life, it was all about performative and showing and demonstrating that I was, you know, successful, financially successful, professionally successful, all these things, right? And that was that was really exhaustive, right, from a personal, from a personal perspective. So chapter one, I was all about, you know, showing everybody in, in the, in the world that I was worthy, right? And I was worthy because I had and did all of these things that were external to me. The, the sort of the 2nd chapter of, of my life was, was really more, more of that, right?

5:34 Just performing and performing and doing and doing and, and always trying to be kind of best, best in class. And the minute I kind of gave up on that, I settled into who I am, who I am today. And honestly, I don't think I'm any, anything more than a guide or a coach or, you know, I often see myself as as pulling people out of the water as they're drowning. So maybe I'm a lifeguard. I was talking with my, my coaching colleagues this this week and we spoke about wayfinding. You know, it's like I've, I've, I've gotten up and fallen down so many times all over the world that now I'm kind of in a position to have a little more light or, or, or have a little more idea or ability to shine light in corners where people not, might not otherwise see them.

6:27 So yeah, lifeguards, lifeguards coach Sherpa guide any, any number of those would would, I think kind of approximate where I think I am today. Cool. So tell me a little bit more about about chapter 1 when as you're being successful and and and you said proving your worth. What what was life? What was that life? That life was, I mean, I was in my 20s, I was living in Switzerland. I decided to, to get into banking, financial services and by all intents and purposes, I was successful. You know, I was, you know, Easter and Centre Pay and Christmas in San Mauritz and all the cars I wanted and then the home that I wanted and the vacations and all that other stuff.

7:18 And at one point I had 25 employees and a financial services company, 2 offices, etcetera. But I woke up one day and it was sort of 2001 and I was actually, I had a traffic accident. I spun out of control in the mountains, in my SUV and landed on the side of the ditch and not the side of the lake. So I could have been gone, right? And that was this wake up moment where I, I realized I was, you know, depressed, full of anxiety, full of unhappiness, you know, that lethal cocktail that so many of us can get and be in.

7:59 And it was a wake up call. You know, I had, I had ticked all the boxes, right? And I think a lot of people do that these days, right? You have a checklist of what you believe to be the markers of success, right? And for me, I had gotten them all and I was living my best life, best life, quote UN quote, right. And that traffic or that there was no other traffic, it was just a spinning out of control, which was a perfect metaphor for my life. I just realized that day I'm like, I was like, this is all wrong. I've been on the wrong road. And it was interesting, right? You spinning off a road. And I was, I was just on the wrong path. And it was, it was, you know, it was 10 or 15 years in the making, right?

8:45 Because you go to university, you go and get an MBA, they tell you what success means. They tell you all the, the parameters of performance and performance analysis and performance reviews. And but this road to success, again, quote UN quote was paralleled with a completely different one, which was a descent into a disconnection from who I was or who I am or from even from my my body and mind. It was just all sort of cerebral get, get, go, go, faster, more, more, more, right? In your 20s and and even before that, what going going through school, did you have a sense of the disconnection or just going to the motions? Like I imagine at some point in that in those experiences you were happy or enjoy at least enjoying some of the trappings. Was that the?

9:40 Case yeah, no, sure for sure I had no. All I knew was that, that throughout my childhood, I, I gained for some reason, I don't know why, because it was idyllic, but I, you know, they don't teach you these things in school. But I had kind of garnered this core wound of unworthiness. I felt that I was not enough. Therefore, all of those sort of later teen years and 20s were the, the filling that void of unworthiness. And unfortunately, the void came from that menu that we all know. But look, I mean it, it, it had to have been fun at times. New Year's Eve with Lee Iacocca and I've been in George George Clooney's villa and I've, you know, I've, I've, I've had so many incredible experiences that I can hardly remember them now.

10:27 But, but sure, at the time they were great. But I almost think they were a bit of a, kind of a dopamine hit. Like they were, they were, they were a little bit like retail therapy, right? Like you have the experience of the, the, the shot, right. And really quickly afterwards, it's like, well, I'm, I'm still, you know, I'm at home, I'm alone with at least in my mind, right? And, and yeah, that was interesting. I was in a beautiful space or a beautiful place or had an incredible experience that a lot of people might not be envious of, but it kind of want to have two.

11:11 But but that feeling wears off really quickly. You know, you get off a private jet and you're in a car being driven somewhere and it's like, oh, OK, this you know, I, I could be in my Toyota, right? And I would be the same person. He's having the context. Didn't the context stopped mattering, right? I'm a a high level initiate of something called the modern mystery School. And yes, and one, one of the huge things in the mystery school is that happiness is temporary and in response to things. So it's like you had a lot of happiness reactions, but what we're really after as humans is a state of being, and a state of being of joy does. That resonate exactly, exactly. That's precisely what it is.

11:55 I so I had those moments of happiness that you know, you know, it's like sprinkling sugar on a, on a, on a cappuccino, but the joy, the depth, the depth was not there. It was just, it was always going back to the fast food menu of what's the next experience to give me that dose of happiness because there was no joy. And, and I certainly relate to that, that wound of unworthiness. I I grew up this very similar, fairly similar style of, of trying to fill me up and thinking something must be wrong with me. So were you conscious of this unworthiness, or was it only kind of after that accident that you realized it was there? So no, I was totally unconscious the whole time, totally didn't realize it.

12:42 And it was after the accident and after I gave everything I owned away and moved back to Vancouver, BC, which I thought, I thought that would be a good place to, to, to discover who I was, you know, to reconnect with my who, Like, who is this right? What was that all about? I, I was completely unaware until about, I guess it must have been about 35 and it and gave everything away. And much like a, you know, Buddhist might shed the robes of, of ownership and things. And, and I thought, well, given this was all wrong, I'd better just had, you know, had any trappings of it.

13:28 Any reminders and moved back to Vancouver and I went to, you know, it was called Banyan books. It's probably still there. It was the spiritual bookshop on the OR the self help bookshop. And at that time it was just when Eckhart Tolle was, you know, had released the power of now. And and there was that movie What the bleep do we know? And they were talking about, you know, energy and attraction and spirituality and, and I just, you know, in those bookstores where it's all the, all the best sellers, I just went and did this to the whole table. I'm like, I'm going to get a copy of each one of these.

14:09 You've, you're smiling. So you might have done the same. It's like, I got to figure this out. Like, like why was I or I guess that didn't matter, but I needed to become aware because I wasn't. Nobody teaches you that in school as a kid, right? Yeah, it is similar. Similar timing too. So the, the thing that really woke me up was when the secret first came out and my wife had bought the, I didn't, I didn't even know it was a movie. I just saw my wife had bought the book as a gift. She was headed to, you know, a, a Christmas gift exchange in the neighborhood. And I just started paging through this book and I was like, and you know, it. The, the thing that stood out for, for me was, you know, you can change your thoughts, your thoughts create your emotions and you can change your thoughts. And I was brought up with all sorts of different mental health labels and, and disease and all this notion. I, I was taught I, I'm at the mercy of my emotions and this, this thing saying I control them. I'm like, what that, that was like ground. Yeah.

15:07 So I was like, I'm reading this. I'm like, my wife's like, it's time to go. I'm like, I, I, no, I can't. I don't want to lose this book. So then she told me like, I will keep that one cuz I bought one for you for Christmas too. So like so I got to read it early and that got me on the road to different mentors and more books and we have what the bleep do we know and all the things that were kind of out at that time. Yep. So you've shared the the trappings of success and they sound like very glamorous trappings. But how do you? How do you define success today? For me, it's all about, it's all in here. It is finding joy within, right? And being able to share that with others and to me there's nothing better than that.

15:56 Knowing that it's all inside. And like you just said, knowing that your thoughts are temporary and controllable and you are not destined to be labeled whatever your your particular affliction was or it or is it it's it is it is finding the joy inside and sharing that energy with others. How important is service to you? It's a good question because to me that's, that's all there is. Now, you know, we live in such a, we live in such complex times, right? And we see so many people around us with mental health challenges and addiction challenges and financial insecurities and, and food insecurities.

16:54 I feel like we are it in a moment in time where our society is sick. And I think you see evidence of that in, in all sorts of health, health figures and mental health figures, and I mean statistics and, and I think you also see that the division that we have in our world, right? So I think being of service to a world that has become unhealthy and disconnected from its humanity is the only thing to do. I think it's the greatest thing you can do or I can do. I, I I find that true both ways that you or I can do. It's still that being of service is is that key and is that something that you had been taught at any point growing up or in school?

17:47 Nothing, no, Nope 0 for me. And maybe it was the era that I grew up in sort of, you know, the 80s and the 80s and the 90s and and at that time, you know, it was more about get, get, get and have, have, have and self, self, self, right. And yeah, it took a long time to realize how important being in service is. Nobody wasn't taught, certainly to me. Yeah, and I, you know, I'm, I'm not in public school currently, but I, but I, I, I doubt the American education system is, is telling kids not just how important services, but how good service feels.

18:36 That was something that I was really surprised by how much, how much joy I get by helping someone else. And, you know, not just being a kid and, you know, mowing someone's lawn, helping the old lady across the street in these cliche things, but really helping someone in any way, you know, giving someone directions or or coaching someone, you know, working in a professional manner of of service or even just this podcast. Well, for me, I don't know about you, but it feels like it's the, it's the fuel of life, it's the energy of life. It's the, it is that is it. Is that joy manifested? You've mentioned a few of the ills of the world and of society currently.

19:19 Does anything, is anything stand at the top of kind of the the worst aspect or, or or mindset or whatever you see as being the most destructive thing that's happening? So I don't know if, if this resonates with you, but for me, I believe the corporation as a legal entity is probably the greatest challenge we have. Because I, I think, I think what it does is it disconnects us humans from the endeavour, right? So for me, it allows the endeavour to become dehumanized and therefore it means we can.

20:09 Feed people food that is not food. Give them healthcare. That's not health, that's not care. You know, that's like there's all sorts of that for me. That's it. It's this, this idea that that corporations are one run by human beings, but they are no longer human. There's no humanity to them. Therefore, they can commit, you know, acts that are, that are completely heinous and poisonous and go to war for us and for you know, it's the list goes on, right? That's my my challenge today is corporatism, the idea that this entity doesn't have a human behind it be disconnected. Yeah, it, it, it's funny, I was, this has been on my mind as kind of a solo show to do this, this notion of, of the corporate entity and how it's dehumanized all of us. And so, so this year, I, I, I have a 20 year career with one of the greatest corporations rated to work at ever and caring for people and etcetera, etcetera. But still the most important thing is stock price, shareholder value, Trump's customer value, Trump's employee value.

21:18 So, so I was laid off shock. I was shocked to be laid off and my boss was shocked to be laying me off. And that was in April. And my wife, she's currently battling a corporation that's making the news here in the US. It there it's stored healthcare. They've they're closing 8 hospitals in Massachusetts alone. So her, yeah, she's out of a job, doesn't get PTO severance, all these things negotiated not being honored. So I've just have two real experiences of, you know, corporation that smiles to you in the good times and will cut your throat without hesitation. And because steward is in bankruptcy court, they really don't have to honor anything.

22:05 And it's, it's insane how bankruptcy laws in the US of, of all the debtors, employees are last. So anything promised you and they, they've been pleading with, because it's a hospital, they've been pleading with people keep, please work here, don't quit, keep showing up until the very last day. And all the people that do are being punished for doing so. It's, it's, it's just, it's sickening. So there's my there's my rant. No, I'm completely with you. And I think you can take that analogy and that story to across the world in, in any industry and any country. The, the, to me, the, the, the, the very fact that the, that the corporation is no longer a human entity, right? And, and if you, but you have to pair that with what I think are how do I phrase this are the wrong parameters to live by and live with.

23:08 And look, I'm all for capitalism. I'm not saying and, and and I'm, I'm, I'm all, I'm all for, you know, companies making a profit and things like that. I'm not any, by any means sort of Marxist socialist at all. But I think we can do better. I think we can do much, much better, right. And if, if, if, if there was humanity reinjected into the corporation I and that and we had different markers for that company's success. So it's not just ROI. What if it was return on humanity, return on health, return on happiness, return on joy. I think we need new indicators of success, right? Yeah, for sure.

23:52 So, so it, it, it's the corporation and the indicators I think that both need to evolve, you know, into, into what's next for us as human. Beings so as as humans more and more individuals are waking up and realizing the checking the boxes and what they thought. Also success is isn't success, but that hasn't that hasn't elevated to the corporate and legal entities yet. I think you're right. I think I, I, I, I'm very optimistic. So, so I might sound, you know, kind of negative on things, but I'm very optimistic. I think people are waking up and going, hold on, this isn't working.

24:32 We need a new paradigm. We need a new way of doing things. So I'm optimistic. Yeah, absolutely. People are waking up. And one of the benefits of something like social media is that they are waking up and people can see and people can communicate what? Is what what's the most challenging thing in the way of of someone waking up? Oh, for me, for for me it is is being bombarded by the news bombarded by social media and being addicted to a coping mechanism, right. So because and I I say to people often you need a personal protection system perimeter around you. But if you, if you add up things like social media, the negative news cycle, breaking news, and you have a whole series of coping mechanisms that people can turn to, whether it's alcohol or drugs or other types of addiction. You have a cocktail that's very difficult to peep for people to get out of, right?

25:42 So a very sort of negative contextual environment that they live in, you know that they keep feeding. So addicted to the negativity and then addicted to the coping mechanism is honestly, I think it's creating zombies. You know, just, you know, they're there, you know, you can have a conversation with them, but they're having to drink and smoke up or pop pills or whether it's pharmaceutical or non pharmaceutical. It's like, where are you? You're you're gone, right? But I have all the, all the, all the patients in the world for, for individuals that are stuck in that place, right? Because it's a, it's again, it, it, it, it's a, it's a very hard place to come out of, but.

26:32 It can be done, and we're both seeing more and more people do this. Yes, no, for sure. Like I said, I'm optimistic. They're, they're, they're. It feels as though there's a movement. Well. The. Reasons. Words that are lied. Yes. No, that's true. Yeah, but you're right. You're right. So you've got a movement. Real men feel is a movement. As more and more individuals are waking up and creating movements, what's the is there a bigger wave that that you see or would name? I look, I think it's time for everyone to to take action. It is it it's time to get off up, up off the couch and and take action.

27:15 And the best thing you can do is to take action locally right outside your front door and, you know, become join town council, join a committees, become a volunteer, get out of the house, switch off the TV, turn off social media, turn off the radio and get active and involved and participate. It's like, it, it, it's, it's almost as if we we need to realize that that life is a participation sport. You got to be involved. So, Colin, you mentioned that in Chapter 1 of your life you were trying to prove yourself worthy. Worthy of what? That's a very good question, I think. I think the answer is worthy of being in the pack, worthy of belonging, worthy of being just like everybody else. And but it's interesting though, because I kind of went way beyond that.

28:15 It was almost like I wanted to get to sort of that level of acceptance. You know, I, I wanted a normal life with A2 car garage and like, you know, the junk food that all the kids were eating. And I grew up in a forest with a mother who was, you know, into organic everything at the time when it wasn't as fashionable as, as it is today, right? So I just want it to be normal, right? To, to not be the weirdo or the guy that nobody talked to and people just kind of ignored. But somewhere along the way, I, I guess there was also sort of a financial gap that I wanted to, to, to fill as well. It was, so it was acceptance and acceptance by my peers, you know, to be just like them.

29:06 But then you know, like my father was an artist and at the time it was, it was, it was quite difficult financially. But yet my mother's family was from Switzerland. So I would see sort of this diametrically opposite lifestyles, right? And and the the the one where there was quite a bit of lack or financial insecurity, that's where I said I never want to go there again. And On the contrary, I'm going to make up for that. So yeah, a bit of a bit kind of a combination of both sort of financial insecurity at home and then no sense of self or acceptance. It was at school and with my peers and with Yeah, well, I had two friends, but.

29:53 Yeah, yeah. And it was So what? I didn't wasn't sure if it was just only inner world or only external, but it was. It was a mix for. Sure, definitely, definitely a mix. Yeah, it was, you know, when I think I I think when you struggle, well, you know, struggle as a Trump, but but when you're in a context of struggle, when you're younger from a financial perspective, that has a lasting impact. I think. I know. But also this, this idea of being different and sort of not even bullied. I don't think nobody even bothered to bully me. It was just left out in the corner of the field, right, Because I was just so different. How do you know that you're worthy today?

30:34 Because I'm not looking for anything like that. I'm there. There's no, there's no more sort of tension, you know, there's no more, there's no more of that grasp that, that deed that needs to, you know, get validated. Get yeah, there's no the the, the need and the desire for validation is gone. That being said, I'm still a bit of a workaholic, so I wonder what that's about. You know, that probably that probably is worthy of being unpacked, but certainly coming back from Europe and settling into a place that's, you know, in the countryside and very healthy and also living a more, a healthier lifestyle for sure from a stress perspective and things.

31:23 Yeah. You just kind of feel it in your body when you, when you. I think anyway, for at least for me, I feel it in my body. I think I have embodied it, this idea of all right, well, everything's OK and everything as it is, it is as it is and everything belongs and it's OK and there's, there's no more compensation for a void, I guess is the best way to put it that. Makes sense. So you you shared that in childhood, there was a bit of financial insecurity, at least from from your perspective. And and you've gone on to be very financially successful.

32:04 Some some, some some high society people in doing right. So having lived both ends of the financial poll, what do you think the lack mentality is rooted in in so many people? Damn. Andy, you have great questions. I think it all stems to, it stems from, from fear and it stems from a society, I think that that nurtures fear and, and sells success and sells self worse.

32:44 And is, is so highly commercialized and publicized and said to us through all of the algorithms that when I talk to people and I say, sometimes you, you know, you have to have almost like a personal protection system around you, like a, like a kryptonite barrier to not absorb all of that negativity that's coming at you. Because I think that's the root cause of it. And, and the, the other 'cause I believe it is this idea of scarcity, right? That there's never enough, There's never enough, there's not enough. You always have to scramble. You always have to scramble. And we were not taught to have a healthy relationship with money, right? It's not taught in school for sure. And yeah, so it's, I think it, I think it's education around the relationship with, with money.

33:34 It's, it's connected to absorption of, of negativity around it. And this idea of, of and then that idea of scarcity. And I think, I think also maybe the 4th pillar is we are often sold a bill of goods that that appears, appears positive or appears constructive, right? Let's say I'll give you an example like the secret, right, or the law of attraction or, you know, all of those, all of those areas connected to money in abundance and things like that. What we're not. So we're, so we're given a kind of a solution, right? Or a, or a, a learning or a teaching. But we're not, how do I say this? It's not, it's not an ongoing living organic thing within you because you kind of get the idea right? And it might work out for you for a little while or a little bit, or you might see some semblance of it. But underneath it is this dot of negativity and storytelling. So for me, it's, it's, it's, it's those sort of 44 pillars. And the last one being this idea of negative storytelling just below the surface of all that positivity, right? Some people call it toxic positivity, but whatever it is, you know, you look at the motivational poster or you look at your vision board or you look at your, you know, you read the Secret, you read the law of attraction, get into some Bob Proctor stuff.

35:01 And it's like, Oh yeah, that's cool. I'm going to journal that. And then you walk away from your journal and you, you don't hold it. So that's why the relationship with money is kind of an ongoing experience that, that, that you need to have without the storytelling. Cool. So I, I, I've, I've had experiences with pretty much everything you just mentioned, from Bob Proctor to the secret. And you know, what I find makes up kind of, we'll call the new age bullshit aspect of those things is sometimes people wake up and I'll myself, I waking up to my spirituality. Well, I'm, I'm just going to be spiritual. I'm just going to meditate. I'm just going to think affirmations and everything will be better.

35:43 And my own mood got better. But without action, nothing really changes. Yeah. So I've told so many people, Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm in expanding my spiritual self. I'm like, yeah, but you're still physical. Like often times the most spiritual thing you can do is get in the mud and do something. Totally, totally. There's so much spiritual negativity around money anyway, like oh, everything should just be free and give your gifts and all that and like, that's not where we live. No, and it and, and the, and the negativity really arises from the fact that, you know, human beings can do bad, bad things with money, right? But it's not the energy of money that's bad, right?

36:25 And you're absolutely right. You have to have action and actually Mel Robbins did a really good podcast when she first launched on goal setting. And I think it's like episode 39 or something. So it was early days when she first launched her podcast. It's worth your audience taking a look at because there's a whole new science around around proper goal setting. And, and so, so really that that idea of, OK, this is what I want to manifest, but it's not going to happen just with positive thinking and, you know, sitting and burning some incense, right? There's got to be a plan. So Mel Robbins goal setting podcast.

37:06 That's a great one to kind of get that connection from woo woo to practical. You know, cool. I'll definitely track that down and we'll add a link to the show notes. Yeah, it's good. So we've we've talked about lack being rooted in fear and scarcity. So what about an abundant mindset? What, what, what is that rely on? What? What can that be rooted in? You know, that's really practice. It's it's, it's really a almost like a daily meditative practice, right? Of and, and, and I go back to this idea of a personal protection system. You have got to arm yourself against all of the forces that are going to bring you down, right? So whether it's daily meditation and mindfulness or sound therapy, reading books, turning off the news, turning off social media, if you know that if you if you want to go and have a box of candy, right, which is basically social media, know what you're doing, be aware of it, right? Be, be intentional about your social media that you're going to that you're going to be on right? Because I think, I think so often we go through life when you go through the day, much of it without intention, much of it can be not for everybody, but much of it can be just a routine, right?

38:31 And when you're just doing the routine without intentionality in every moment, you, you succumb to the, the sort of the forces of negativity. So personal protection barrier, you know, get your wall up and not, not in a bad way, right? Don't put the masks back on, but get your wall up to protect yourself from anything that will take you down and take you. And then for me, it's for me, it's all about practice, daily practice, daily meditation and reading. Also the right things. There's a beautiful book out called Love, Money, Money loves you. And that's all about the relationship you have with the energy of money, right? And it's just so good.

39:12 So and it's about embodiment of that, right? I often say to people, you know, it, it, it's also what radio station do you want to be all playing on, right? Yeah, Money is really an amplifier of your existing energy. And if if you're an asshole and you get rich, you're going to be rich, asshole. If you're a kind, loving person, they get rich, you'll be a kind, loving, rich person. It's just totally. Yeah, Yeah. It's not money's fault for, for any of that. Yeah. No. Cool. No, it's just a yeah, It's an energy. That's all it is, and there's enough. All, all the talk of energy and boundaries, I think it was like in 2009, I did my first like energy programs and creating an energetic boundary was one of the first things that we learned. And it really was, it's the power of visualization because everything is energy and you're, you imagining thing, you imagining things is really you doing energy work. So we would we would visualize a row of a ring of roses around us.

40:10 Anywhere we went and the roses would absorb negative energy and you would just travel on a bit. So you were truly making a bubble. And, you know, I would experiment with this and check in and visualize and, and I'd look at these roses in my mind and they would be dried up and decrepit after I went to the mall. Listen, like, I'm like, Oh my God. And they're like, all right, let's get rid of those and replace them. And, and it's and I encourage people, however silly it sounds, play with it. And you can imagine. Make your imaginary boundary out of anything, but let it decide that something's out there that absorbs the negativity instead of you, and just see if you notice something. That's brilliant. That's absolutely brilliant. And you know, if you want to get into the kind of the science of stuff, you can dive into things like Qigong and, and you know, Joe Dispenza, who I'm sure you know, is doing great work around that, which 20 years ago they couldn't measure this stuff. Right now you can actually measure it. It's like, oh wow, that's real.

41:02 Yeah, yeah, the the people that will like, I'll wait for science to prove something. I'm like, well, you could be waiting for a long time. You'll be covered in leeches if that was the mindset of your ancestors, right. But I find that science keeps catching up to spirituality and proving the power that, you know, the Mystics swore to US thousands of years ago was the true power of of the self and the collective. Yeah, it's all. It's all, it's all kind of not coming true because it's but but the evidence is now appearing before us, right? So that's great. Is is there anything top of mind that you wish more men knew? You know, the one thing that I like, I'd love to leave people with whoever I speak with, is this, this statement that it does not have to be like this.

41:49 You know, I think, I think we get, we can get so caught up in our own narratives and stories and depression and anxiety and mental health challenges that a lot of people lose, lose hope. And what I like to say to people is don't, don't lose hope. Reach out, especially if you're a guide, because we don't talk about these things and we're not educated on them in school. Reach out, find your circle, find your tribe. And it does not have to be like this. There's there's ways out. Yeah, you can say enough already. Can say enough already. Yeah. There you go. Thank you. We can just close the circle there. Perfect for you. Cool. So Colin, what's the best way for people to find out everything that you're up to?

42:34 Gosh, you, you know, I have a website, callgayswell.com, which I hate updating. I gosh, I probably should. I have podcasts from a year and a half ago on there. That's probably the best way to to find me. I'm also on LinkedIn yeah, that's it. I'm on Instagram, but I don't I, I, I've grown tired of Instagram and Facebook for some reason. I don't know why. Maybe it's just watching them in the news these days, but I'll. Do I'll share one more tip because you're talking about social media and the negativity of it. Over a year ago, I turned off all my social media notifications, everything, and now I just said, oh, I wonder what's up on Facebook. Oh, I wonder what's up on Instagram? I don't, the phone doesn't own me anymore. And that was it's the best, most liberating thing I've I've done with technology ever.

43:22 So yeah, I think I need to do the same with X these days. So Fuji about. Thank you for that. Yep. Cool. For sure. Awesome. Well, Colin, it was great to talk with you, connect with you. I got bonus time with you because the Internet tried to try to damage our relationship earlier this week. It did. That was, but it's good. I'm glad we could reconnect quickly and and finish this first conversation. I feel like you and I could talk forever. Yeah, no, I feel the same way. So yeah, I'm I'm sure this will not be the last time we see each other. Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, and let's make that true for the audience, too. So wherever you're discovering a real midfield, thank you for joining us today. Thank you for meeting me and Colin. Visit realmenfeel.org.

44:04 See a blog post for this episode. We'll have links to all the various things we mentioned, podcasts, resources, books, wherever you're discovering real men feel, please subscribe, follow, like, share this with someone, post a review or comment. Do all the things you can do. And if you're feeling challenged with your worth, consider booking a Clarity call with me. That's a free conversation just to just poke around and you visit theandygrant.com/talk. And you can always reach out to me at realmenfeel@gmail.com. And until next time, be good to yourself.