Exploring Single Fatherhood and Vulnerability with 'Guys Night' Creators

0:00 You know, that's what we all love about movies that, you know, when you just sit there and you just and you used a great word, absorb. You know, I just want people to be able to absorb this movie. And but yeah, you want to make something that's meaningful and, and, and that really changes people and effects them and makes them cry, makes them laugh, that at all. I would, I would second all of that. Maybe just add that you have to show people that even in the rough times, there's still positivity to be found and within yourself, within your family, within your community. So hello and. Welcome to Real Men Feel, I'm your host Andy Grant. Today we're diving into fatherhood, vulnerability, and what it means to be a man. With the creative team behind the upcoming film Guys Night. I'm joined by writer, producer and actor Nico Vitaco, director, editor and sound designer Dave Eicorn and producer Andrew Baird.

0:46 Together, they're bringing to life a story based on Nico's own experience growing up with a single dad, exploring the emotional journey of a man learning that true strength comes from presence, honesty, and heart. We talk about divorce, emotional openness, masculinity, and why it's time for more stories that show men feeling and healing. And if these conversations resonate with you and you want to go deeper, I invite you to join my new private online community, Authentic AF. This is a safe space to be raw, real and supported. No masks, no macho BS Check it out at realmenfeel.org/group. Let's do it. Hello guys and welcome to Real Men Feel.

1:26 Hey, lady. Great to be here. Thank you for having us. I'm going to throw this up to all of you. And we'll, we'll. Start at the start. Tell me what inspired guys night. Oh, hey everybody. My name is Nico Vitaco. I'm the writer, producer and the actor of Guys Night. It was inspired by my childhood growing up. It's a it's a heart filled coming of age film inspired by my real life growing up with my two brothers single dad in 1980s Hometown, IL, which is the real name of a town called Hometown. When our mom left, my dad, who had no road map for raising three boys on his own, started a weekly ritual called Guys Night, which was every Friday night.

2:12 We'd rent VHS tapes, we'd grab our favorite chips and pop and just stay up late. Just be together and just be together. It wasn't perfect, but it was his way of saying I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. At its core, I feel like this story is really about fatherhood, divorce and resilience. It's about the battles that we fight as parents, or sometimes you have to lose a few to win the war, which is raising your kids rights. It's a very funny, nostalgic and full of 80s heart. But it's also honest and healing to tribute to every father who's tried their best, to every son who's needed more than when his dad knew how to give into the power of just simply showing up, even when it's hard.

2:57 Why is it important that this story be told now? I think, I think it's important it's told now because in general, universally, I feel like men haven't been given the full support through single fatherhood that women have been given, which they're very deserved to have been given. Women are very deserving of the full support that they've been given. But I feel like men haven't been given that full support. And a lot of men universally, even me growing up were taught to bury your feelings, not taught to bury your feelings, but we were taught to not express and wear our emotions on our sleeve.

3:38 My father was a very stoic man, did just that. He loved deeply with his with his heart, but he didn't know how to express that, especially to his sons, especially to the one son who needed it express the most. So I think it's important to tell now because just for me personally, writing this script has just been therapeutic to get out because I never knew how to deal with my own family's divorce and who I became as a man. It, it shaped me, but I wanted to learn how and why it shaped me. And I wanted to be able to express that and see if me telling my personal story would resonate at all with any other men, women, father, son, just anyone who's been through a similar situation.

4:24 I think it's just, I think it's important to show men that we can be different than what we've been perceived to be. Yeah, I I can't agree more. I wonder, since this is so autobiographical, has there been a really surprising moment of emotional vulnerability that that's that's that's kind of shocked you during this process anywhere along the way? Yes, yes and no. I think I learned a lot. Well, I learned a lot about my dad that I didn't know prior to all this stuff. I mean, I, I had to separate myself as the sun and bring in myself as the writer, producer of this. But still, it's, I'm, I'm attached to it all emotionally. So there are some things where seeing my dad be so vulnerable and really open up about his life and his marriage with my mom and what he thought he was doing. The what he thought he was doing was the best he, he could do at the time.

5:20 Was, was really, I wouldn't say shocking to me, but it was eye opening to me. It, it let my guard down. It's showing how vulnerable he was. It showed me a different side of him on how he had wished he had been different than growing up or, or raising us. So I think throughout the whole process there have been like moments, roller coasters of vulnerable moments where I've just really, I've given myself fully to the project and to the discoveries that I've made throughout the the, the journey of it. I was gonna add to it just on the emotional connection side, outside of Nico's family story, it's just the emotional connection of the town itself, of hometown. I'm sure we'll probably get in this a little bit, but it's just cool to see this community that Niko grew up in still exists in all of its glory.

6:08 And it's just, it's once we've been bringing this, you know, going to Hometown here and there with the story, with the script, what we're trying to do. It's just cool to see the town come together like how can we help you? We love this. We want to get hometown out there. So just to see just that emotional connection to just thinking on the the other side of just this town is really, really cool and and uplifting. Andrew, for people not familiar with the world of movie making, what's the role of a producer? Oh, it depends on the day you ask me. Is my my real answer to that? No, I mean the role of a producer, like I said, it's tenfold. You'll see a bunch of different credits on the screen as they roll, right? Executive producers, producers, Co producers, associate producers, and they all had do have specific roles to them.

6:51 EPS are generally more finance side things. Co producers and APS are people that maybe have connections to the production side but are maybe just getting started or, you know, getting that credit to be based on what they've contributed to the script. But the producer himself or herself is, I guess someone is kind of the outside of the director Dave here, the glue that kind of helps to hold the production together and to keep it moving in the direction it needs to go so we can get a successful final product. That can mean anything from negotiating with vendors to cast and crew to I always joke that I'm the onset therapist when we're shooting. So a lot of fires always happen. So it's like, OK, cool, what fire are we going to deal with today? In a good way, right.

7:34 You're not not in a bad. It's always a. It's a problem solving role for sure. I remember in the beginning when we were talking with Andrew, he had said he, he mentioned, he said expect the worst thing to happen because like it, it will, especially in indie filmmaking, like the some things will be thrown at you. They're so unexpected. And that that's just it. So you know he is the role of like the problems. Can I say expect the worst thing or just expect the unexpected? Sorry, expect the unexpected. Yeah, I'm sorry. The best not expect the worst thing. Expect the unexpected to to happen. Which always happens, yes, no matter how well your plan. Yeah, things going to go. It's so true too, yeah, and it's so different. And it's usually just fine, so.

8:14 See how Nico? It's interesting to see how your brain works. Expected, unexpected, and you went. Very negative, Like Oh no. What's the worst thing I can ask? So, so Dave, you're the director of Guys Night and you've worked on some major productions in your career. What What drew you to this project? Oh man, you know, when I read the script, I loved it. It's just a great story, you know, actually fits right into the real men feel paradigm because the main character is who Nico's going to play is Anthony. It's his father. He's playing his own father. And this man is going through a divorce, but is very, as Nico likes to say, stoic. He is he, he, he buries all of his feelings as men do. And, and, and for two reasons, because he wants to show his kids that everything's OK.

9:05 And because he's just not developed enough to, you know, he has that mentality that he learned, don't show your feelings, you know, don't be vulnerable. Just he's really closed up. And I like that story. And this man goes on an arc, an emotional arc where he learns through throughout the course of the film to to feel, you know, that's what, you know, the name of this podcast. Real men feel right. And it's it's really right up. That's that's what this movie is about in large part. Yeah. So I, I, I like, I just I I've never worked on a movie about divorce. You know, I'm a child of divorce. I've had divorce around me. But since I was like, since I was born basically like uncles and grandparents were divorced.

9:48 And so I grew up with that and then my parents got divorced when I was 11. And so it really studies that great way in a great way. And so I know Nico, in writing this, it was kind of therapeutic for you, Andrew, has has your involvement proven to be healing in any way? In a, in a, in a sense I've, I've definitely found again, it's such a a powerful story and heart warming story where I think that's kind of the beauty of it. No matter who is reading it or watching it, they can find something in it to really take away. I mean, I've luckily not a knock on wood child of divorce, but there has been divorce in my family. So it's been kind of AII definitely connect with the stoic part of it 'cause we're very stoic family on my dad's side. My, the, yeah, pretty much my dad's side. So it's been nice to kind of connect to that part of it going, oh, wait, hold on a second. It is nice to OK to be more vulnerable and, you know, express our emotions more and more. So definitely in that case been involved in this project has has really hit home for me.

10:50 Yeah, it, it explores dysfunction, you know, and, and that that always interests me too. Just just dysfunctional family drama. And those are the kind of movies I like to watch. You know, watching the healing process. I think it's it's, and that's, that's another thing about this movie is it's, it's, you know, families and kids and mothers and fathers are going to get a lot out of this because it's, it's, it's what's the word cathartic to watch others going through what you're going through, you know, and seeing how they deal with it. And it makes you feel like, oh, wow. So OK. It's normal. Yeah. And this is, yeah, it's, it's healing.

11:30 Is production underway? Is production completed? Where we're out? Where are we in that? Cause so production is in, we're in a late development stage right now. We are just to give you a little bit of a back story. We were set to go into production early in 2023. We had a financier on board. The actors and writers strike kind of put us on pause in the meantime. And then after the strike was ratified, our financier had some hiccups with other things going on. Ultimately, we lost our financing and that route. And so we kind of put our brains together and found new momentum on how to still push forward because obviously we want to tell the story what we want to share and get it out there. So we've been working with in putting different feelers out there, working on in different avenues to get ourselves into production.

12:20 One of those being we've teamed up with a fiscal sponsor with Independent Film Alliance Chicago to receive 100% tax deductible donations to raise our initial 25% equity because we also have a debt partner who's lined up to trigger the rest of the financing if we do raise that that initial equity. We have so many people so much support in this. Like you said, I, I feel like just this story alone and the story we want to tell resonates so much with so many different groups, organizations and, and people. We've linked up with a ton of men's mental health groups, men's support organizations, divorce support, parenting organizations, and that's just like that that that community who are helping to spread the word and extend our reach within their network as well. We have, like Andrew mentioned, hometown, which is this small 4500 person town 20 minutes outside of the great city of Chicago There in there's huge, immense about amount of support there.

13:28 Everyone from the mayor and the police chief who was who's all spreading the word, trying to bring in the biggest thing we need, which is the, the financing, the money. But I feel like this route that we're on now, I'm in a way thankful that the film didn't go into production in 2023 because it would have been too easy for us. I feel like this path we're on now has such more, has so much more meaning to it. I didn't realize the depth and the healing that this story could could tell and, and could do for people. And I didn't realize the, how the community that it could bring in and, and the, the, the amount of groups and people it could, it could touch and, and who would come on board to help support it and get the word out there. And that's really powerful.

14:14 And like, that's like, that fills my heart so much. So I love this longer path. As much as I want to go into production soon, and we will, I know we will, I feel like this is the right path to be on. And so it's up to, it's up to God to decide when it's going to happen. It is going to happen. But it's, you know, I've, I've released that control on trying to decide when it is. I just I, I give it to God in the universe to to decide when that's happening. You you did mention that this project has helped you kind of understand or get to know your father better. I wonder what what other ways has this project influenced all of your relationships with your families? For me, it's influenced it.

15:00 It's actually helped my, my own life. Like I'm, I'm married for 19 years this August. I don't have any kids of my own. But I think for me personally, like my story growing up and seeing what my parents went through, seeing the aftermath of it all that my, my brothers and I dealt with and how we dealt with or didn't deal with with the, the, the divorce, it influenced my own relationship and especially with, with my, my wife. We dated for about 5 years before I proposed to her. And it wasn't because I didn't love her or anything. I loved her tremendously, but I was scared.

15:41 I was scared to make the same mistake as my parents did. I saw how it tore them apart, how it tore our family apart. I saw how each of my brothers dealt with it differently. You know, truthfully, like we've each dealt with this, their this divorce so much differently from each other. And my older brother's still struggling a lot with it. My younger brother is a very stoic guy. I love them both so much, but he buries a lot of it and it it, it hasn't hasn't really like tapped into to deal with it. I found that talking about it and writing this really helped me personally see it from different perspectives than just my own. And I think that was important.

16:24 I was able to see from my, my dad's perspective, obviously, but also my mom's perspective too. Talking to her about it, getting her blessing and, and sharing with her the story I wanted to tell, but also telling her story truthfully and authentically along with that. So it's just been, it's been helpful for me to approach my current marriage too, and to keep that strong and, and and tight and open to communication, but also like other relationships with anybody I I interact with as well. Dave, how about you? How has this impacted your family relationships? There's not many of us left, you know, my brother and sister are pretty much all the stuff to my family. They live we're we're we're not, you know, super close. So, I mean, I don't really have a story about that. You know, after the film is made, it'll be a great thing. And, you know, I mean, in this business, I go from, I go from job to job and, and it's, it's always good to just be involved on a film because that's, that's, that's, that's the goal. You know, that your family work in the industry. I mean, the, the film industry, Yeah, I've been in this 3 1/2 decades.

17:37 It's what I do. It's my bread and butter. So yes, I'm just, I'm just thrilled to to be a part of this. Yeah. I would say definitely the power of kind of reflection is the biggest thing for me kind of reading a script like this and just the beauty and power that a character and the character arc that we've been talking about can have. Reading it in a script is one thing, and then seeing it on the screen, it can come across entirely differently in, you know, a great way, in such a positive way. So I am pretty lucky to be close with my family. I'm actually a triplet. So it's fun to, yeah, have two people the same age of me out there, you know, out there, a brother and a sister. But yeah, just again, in terms of reflection, it's just that you, you can always be so close, but then sometimes just also not have ideas of kind of what's going on with some of your family members.

18:27 So it's just a reminder to ask and check in sometimes and just really, you know, stay connected. Once Guys Night is complete and audiences are seeing it, Nico, what's your biggest desire for what people take away from it? My biggest desire is for people to see this as a way to connect with themselves, to reconnect with their own family in, in a sense to, I want this to serve as, as somewhat of a way to, to help heal and to show that, you know, I, I think I wanted to relate somehow to, to people, to have them feel like, you know what, like it's, it's OK to watch, to experience somebody else's trauma, family trauma and to know that it's very universal. How, you know, everyone's trauma is, is different and dysfunction, family is, is all different. But my biggest take away is that I hope that it, it provides a sense of, of healing to, to people, whether it's within their families, within themselves, within a, a community.

19:34 We want more than just this film to be on screen and to do well in festivals and to get picked up by network or streaming. We wanted to, we want to extend it to organizations that are already doing the work and have this serve as a tool to, to, to help and just to implement in their work that that they're already doing just to show a, a visual because I feel like there aren't many visual tools out there like. Feature films that people can really just absorb. So I that's, that's the biggest hope. I want this to extend just beyond the screen and serve as a tool for for healing. Dave or Andrew, anything you want to add on top of that for what you hope people take away from this? I, I just want to second what he said. That's a big one.

20:20 I mean, Academy Award, I mean, come on. That's that's what we that's what we want. But no the just to to affect. The academy's listening is is. Affecting people, I mean, how powerful is that? You know, and that's, that's what I that's what, you know, that's what we all love about movies that, you know, when you just sit there and you just and you used a great word, absorb. You know, I just want people to be able to absorb this movie in. But yeah, that's you want, you want to make something that's meaningful and, and and that really changes people and effects them and makes them cry, makes them laugh that at all. I would I would second all of that. Maybe just add that, yeah, to show people that even in the rough times, there's still positivity to be found and within yourself, within your family, within your community.

21:08 So don't, don't look away from all of that. And I hope that people realize that once they do watch this movie. And you've as a child of divorce, was there anything in the script or anything that's that's been shot thus far that really mirrored your life and made you go like, wow, how did how did we both have the same? Experience. Yeah, I mean, as a matter of fact, it and I didn't realize this until I thought about it after some time. I had guys night too. I mean, you know that our my dad moved out and I lived with my mom and my brother and for the first time, you know, he was busy trying to make a living and not home a whole lot. It was a it was a good dad. We had a nice tight family structure, thank goodness. But like I said, at 11, parents got divorced, dad moved out, got his own apartment.

21:55 And suddenly on weekends, we were going over to dads having slumber parties and he was taking us us out to play pool and movies, you know, saw a bunch of it. It's like it was a blast out to dinner, just my brother, my dad and I. And I realized that that was and that went on for years. It was very, very cool. And it's just something that hadn't happened before, you know? And so in in effect, that was basically guys night. So, yeah, I could relate. And it it, it was very, it was just healthy. You know, I didn't get too disturbed by the divorce because again, I thought it was, you know, this is fun.

22:35 My brother's a little older. He was 14 at the time, and he seemed to go very deep. I think it really bothered him and he's a quiet guy. So I, you know, I, I, I don't know how badly, but I, I don't think it affected him as happily as, as I, I thought it was great. We were having fun. You resonate with any character. The youngest son, probably. He's just like I get. I think so of everything. 2 birthdays. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so my parents divorced. That was 50. Wow, the holidays, Earth Days made it kind of. But yeah, I have. I have no memory of my parents being together. Oh, like I just don't. Remember that. Time.

23:17 Movies were a big deal, like I, my dad would pick me up every Sunday and I don't say I want to see this movie and love it was to escape my life, but I wanted to live someone else's life. And but yeah, the big screen always just a welcoming place and I'd see everything possibly. That yeah, it's just a cool like bonding time I. Think this? Well, my, my dad was a smoker then, so he'd smoke and to go walk, smoke and move and I come back and I had to give him an update. So I'd like become a film critic and be quietly, you know, getting up to speed every time we saw a movie. And this movie fan, is there anything coming out this summer or this year that you guys are excited to to see yourselves? Today I'm excited to see Superman. I don't have tickets today.

23:58 I'm one of those where I'm like, I'm not, I'm going to wait till the rush is over with a little bit. I know it's bad because they've liked that first weekend box office. I'm excited to see that I just as a kid, like I grew up like that was my favorite superhero of all time. Christopher Reeves will always be my Superman, But I just love the the story of it. And I mean, there's plenty of pictures of me as a child in my my favorite Superman shirt wearing all the time. And I think that that actually like the idea of Superman of like wanting to be the superhero. This Superman always gave me the hope that I could like be super or grow or as a kid thinking silly, thinking I could fix my parents, fix their their divorce, or I just wanted to be strong so I can mend our broken family back together.

24:45 So I think like the kid in me when I heard Superman was coming out was just like, heck yeah. And then they dealt with me. It was like, hell yeah. I don't think you'll see that because it's Superman. It's just awesome. So by far, like that's like the one that stands out to me immediately. By the way, another cool thing, a cool thing about this movie is it takes place in 1985, most of it. And how fun is that? I mean, we're going to be shooting, you know, I mean, it adds a whole lot of complication to the shoot, but we will pull that off. So nostalgic. I mean, yeah, it's nostalgic and it's it's so we're shooting it in the same town right near the house where Nico grew up, actually. Small neighborhood and at the same time placing it it's it's very, very cool so it's.

25:29 Going to give the the old 80s just like feel good or just that old 80s vibe like like those old 80s films. Just going to give it that that feeling again. Yeah, and everyone's coming out of the woodworks with all of their classic 80s decorations too. It's great. Oh my God. Bars I mean. Like, oh, that's perfect. That takes us straight. Back to the yeah, we have so many people who are willing to to donate a lot of of props and vehicles. Even we have a group in hometown that runs a car show and we already have a lot of their vehicles that we're going to be able to use some late 70s, early 80s vehicles. We'll be able to use just a place throughout certain areas and and hometown itself. For people that don't know it's set, it's still dated and set in the 80s. Most of it is, you know, it's like Dave was saying, it's it's challenging because for any period film, you have to be able to shoot it, right?

26:20 But that's the beauty of filmmaking. You know, you can frame it and cinematography set up with a director and a cinematographer can capture an image and everything else around it. You would see like it's like 2025, but just that image, that frame will show 1985. And it's going to be like, it's really exciting just to kind of like, go back. Can't get any smartphones in the shot. We can't have anything in the background that's like a a modern car. Anything after it. I mean, think about it just like. We really have. You know, be precious about what goes in that frame. So that's the fun of it. The whole 80s vibe. Yeah, as far as it's still going strong, it's. Amazing people, people love it and that's a big thing too. I feel like if anything, the nostalgia of the the film will will kind of tap people into to, to the actual true story, you know, behind it all. So that will be enjoyable.

27:09 So if anything, they'll get some nostalgia out of it. And and how can listeners support help out, contribute to guys? Night, well they can. You know, I would say that if the story resonates with you, we love your support. As I mentioned earlier guys Night is fiscally sponsored by IFA Chicago. They are A5O1C3 organization. So that means all donations are 100% tax deductible and every dollar just brings us closer to production. So you can donate at a website calledgivebutter.com/guys Night. You can also, I'm going to hold this up here too if that's cool. You can scan this QR code.

27:51 Can you guys see it? You can scan this QR code. It'll take you to that site which has our pitch video on it. It's a great video which explains our entire story from where we started to where we are now and where we want to go in the future with this, with this film in this project. And there's our donor portal on there as well. So as I said, every dollar brings us closer to productions. In addition to that, for those who may be looking to go a step further, we also offer some investor opportunities with a promising ROI potential thanks to our Illinois tax credit approval and our already secured distribution. We're working with the distributor Freestyle Media already who've who've come on board.

28:32 We can create tailored proposals across different equity tiers so that if that is of interest to anyone who wants to potentially invest, you can reach out to us directly at info@guysnightmovie.com. So whether you donate or invest, you're helping to bring a healing, heartfelt story to life, one that reminds fathers and sons everywhere that it's never too late to connect, to open up, and to love a little louder. A a question I ask all guests how real men feel, and I'm going to ask each of you today, what is one thing that you wish more men knew? Oh, good question. Yeah. So do you want to take it away? Yeah, who started this one?

29:17 Listen, I wish more men would just listen. I've learned in my life and my relationships, I've had a tendency to want to fix, to just automatically want to come in and help and fix and please. So it's taken a lot to take a step back and to release that control that that desire and just to absorb, like I said before and listen and then redirect and figure out how to how I can be of, of help and not provide a solution, but to be of help to whatever the situation or circumstance may be. So I think in one word, I wish more men would just listen, whether it's to yourself, to your, to your wife, to your parents, to your, to your kids.

30:07 I just think that's that's the biggest thing. Excellent. And Andrew? If you want to go, Dave, I can, I can, I say. Get get control of their egos be and be honest. Those kind of go together because you know guys, a lot of guys just BSA lot and you just don't know and that's just ego, you know, it's insecurity. And so, yeah, I just think that the world be a much better place if men could just get control of their egos and just, you know, stop trying to one up, one up and and be like, this isn't bothering me or I got this, I got this. It's like, be honest, you know, like I, I saw you had a T-shirt the other day.

30:49 Vulnerable AFI love that one too. And I'll add to kind of piggybacking up Nico a little bit, but just, you know, learn how to empathize with people, right? I think that he's a big thing that has gone for, you know, a lot. A lot of people need to learn it. But you know, going with listening and with egos, especially, you know, our community to men, I think if we can learn how to emphasize better and then communicate those feelings as well, Not just internalize them, but communicate them in a effective manner that really helps people understand what you're thinking. But then also helps you understand how reasons for why other people might be acting the way that they're acting. So who knows what's happening, what's going on, but don't make those assumptions that oh, they're acting this way because of XY or Z.

31:36 But really take the moment to emphasize and and understand just people. When, when I was a kid, they were really just two films that men of all ages were allowed to have an emotional reaction to. 1 was Brian's Song and the other was Old Yeller. So my greatest hope for you is that you create something that allows men to feel and that they do so. But I want to thank you for joining me today. I know independent film can be years and years and years in the making and, and you've having that experience. So I, I really hope this is the year that things come to fruition. We'll have all the links to support and contribute to the the production in the show notes and I look forward to seeing the final. Result Thank you.

32:19 Thank you for having us. Thank you to the listeners and viewers as well. And just for the overall welcome and this and the support we we hope to be able to provide that that film to everyone. Huge thanks to Nico, Dave, and Andrew for sharing not just their film, but themselves. Guys Night is more than a movie. It's a mirror held up to modern fatherhood, emotional honesty, and the evolving definition of masculinity. If you're a man who's tired of pretending you have it all together and you're ready to connect with other men that are keeping it real, join us in the authentic AF community at realmenfeel.org/group. And until next time, be good to yourself.