Finding Strength in Brotherhood: The Power of Men's Groups

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Hello and welcome to Real Men
Feel.

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I'm your host, author, coach and
healer Andy Grant.

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If you're a man who's done with
pretending, ready to drop the

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masks and wants real connection
with other growth minded men, I

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invite you to check out my new
online community, Authentic AF.

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No algorithms, no posturing,
just real talk and real support.

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Learn more and request to join
at realmenfeel.org/group Here on

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Real, Men feel we have
conversations that most men are

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not having, but that all men and
the women who love them can

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benefit from.
Today, we're diving into the

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power of brotherhood,
resilience, and reclaiming

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masculinity with Nikki Balu.
Nikki is a passionate advocate

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for men's growth, leadership,
and healing.

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After navigating a painful
divorce, he found strength

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through a men's group, and that
experience changed his life.

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Now, Nikki helps men rise into
their purpose, power, and

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potential.
We'll explore men's health,

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success, vulnerability, and what
it really means to be a man in

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today's world.
Let's do it.

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Hello Nikki, and welcome to REAL
Men Feel.

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Handyman, thanks for having me
on the show.

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It's an honor to be here.
Yeah, I'm very excited for this

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because you have, you might be
the most prolific podcast guest

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I've I've come across in my 6
years of doing this.

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But when we first spoke, you
mentioned your divorce was a big

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turning point for you.
Yeah.

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What was the darkest moment in
that time and how did you get

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through it?
Well, I was completely

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blindsided.
I had no idea she intended to do

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any of this, and maybe I should
have seen it coming, but I sure

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as heck didn't.
And I spiraled, man I spiraled.

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I wasn't allowed to talk to her,
see her, talk to my kids, see my

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kids.
I'll sleep on my mother's couch.

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My business just went into a
tailspin.

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And there was a period during
that where I just didn't even

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know if I wanted to continue.
Not that I wanted to end things

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or anything like that, it just
didn't look good.

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What got me out of it was other
men.

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A woman I knew who was close to
our family, like an aunt to my

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kids, told me, I know a man who
helps men that are going through

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relationship crisis and I'm
going to introduce you to him.

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And she did.
And I started attending group

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and I started doing one-on-one
sessions with this guy.

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And I was feeling horrible.
But every time I met with him,

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every time I went and sat in
Group, I felt a little less for

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them.
And one of the things he said to

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me is that men can only really
heal their pain with other men.

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You know, at first it sounded
like some gay shit to me, like

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what you talking about.
But it was clear that it wasn't

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gay shit.
It was a reality of our

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experiences.
Men throughout history.

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Women are wonderful.
And, you know, having a family

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with a woman and kids is
wonderful, that they're really

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great, but they they aren't men.
They can't understand how we

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think, how we operate, and they
don't know how to help us with

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our pain.
I mean, they can give us a hug.

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They can tell us they love us.
But it takes another man to

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really understand our pain and
pull the arrow out and help us

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heal.
And that's what happened from

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2010, straight through.
I was in this man's group for

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two years and then I joined
another group wasn't as well or

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professionally run, but it it,
it had other strengths.

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And honestly, from 2010 till
today, I don't think there's

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been a period that I haven't
been in a group.

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I've either been in a group or
been running group.

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And if you're a man and you're
listening to this and your life

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isn't where you want it to be,
maybe you're going through a

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divorce, maybe you're going
through, I don't know,

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addiction, drugs, alcohol, porn,
whatever, you will not get it

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done on your own.
You need the company of men,

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good men, not just any old idiot
that'll help get you through and

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onto the other side, into that.
What were some of the biggest

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lessons you learned about
yourself in the last 15 years of

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this?
Well, you know what really

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helped me heal was being focused
on helping other men.

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When I took the the attention
off of me, what was me?

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Look at how horrible my life is.
I put my attention on other men

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and saying whoa, there's a lot
of men that are doing as badly

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or worse than I am.
That's when I really started to

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heal fast.
Cool.

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Yeah, that's something that
wasn't.

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I didn't realize it growing up,
at least maybe it was told to

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me.
But how helpful service is to to

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my own healing.
And I think that's one of the

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big things that comes out of a
men's group that might might

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surprise most participants that
they're enjoying helping their

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brothers.
Yeah, yeah.

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Well said.
Actually, really well said.

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What do you think too many men
are missing when they're going

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through a divorce or a loss of
some sort?

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Well, they're trying to do it by
themselves, right?

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They're not, you know, they'll
go call a lawyer or whatever,

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but they're not with a group of
other men.

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They're not being held up when
they sack, you know, and I say

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this to men, you need men.
I interviewed Doctor Robert

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Glover on my podcast.
He's the author of the book No

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More Mr. Nice Guy.
And he said to me, most men

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don't know that what they're
craving, what they're missing is

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masculine only spaces.
Let me think about that.

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Masculine only spaces.
We need that, man.

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It doesn't exist.
And we need that.

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We need a place where we can let
our hair down, where we can be

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men, right?
And when we have that, we

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instantly recognize the value
and validity of it.

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Like this weekend, I'm going to
a men's overnight.

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There's a man who has some
property like a farm with lots

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of acreage and we're taking some
tents, we're pitching our tents

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and we're going to have an
overnight.

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I think that's that's freaking
amazing.

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You know, we're going to have
fun, we're going to horse

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around, we're going to talk
about some serious shit.

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We're going to get things done.
The the name of a poet.

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Maybe you organize this quote,
but he has this line that there

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was a certain song that men's
cells sing that other men must

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hear.
I I don't know that I don't

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know.
OK, it's always sucked me some.

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Someday I'll look it up.
If it sucked me with enough to

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remember it, I should look so I
know.

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Who's saying look it up right
after, right after this

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interview?
So you know, you mentioned since

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2010 you've been in a group or
leading a group.

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So what inspired you to create
your own men's organization?

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Well, the group that I was in
was good and in some ways even

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great, but it was also quite
political and there were dudes

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that were wanting to run it just
to be king shit in Turdville,

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you know what I mean?
It wasn't necessarily about

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doing what was best for men.
And I ran against one of these

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men and the men voted him in and
they voted me out.

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And I was shocked.
I'm like, there is no freaking

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way I lost to this dude.
And when I sat and thought about

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it, I go look, if these men
wanted this man, that's their

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right.
They get to choose.

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But I don't want to be with
these type of men.

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I want to be with men that are
more concerned about growth.

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So I left that group and I
called up one of my buddies and

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I said, let's start with one
group.

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And so we did.
And that was in 2018.

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And ever since then we've been
running our own group.

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And in January of 2022, we
decided to start charging for

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it.
We're not charging a lot of

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money.
It's 100 bucks a month plus tax.

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But we felt that if you charge
men, they'd take it more

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seriously than if it was free.
And we've gotten to the point

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where we got a lot of men that
are members of the screw that

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are paying for being a member of
this group.

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And they're showing up strong.
They're doing the work.

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And so it was a good decision to
charge.

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It's a good decision because I
didn't have to, you know, take

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on all the expenses myself.
That was that part was good.

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But it was also a good decision
for them because it meant they

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showed up ready to act.
I just hired a coach and he, he

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helps you leverage relationships
to generate business.

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One of the best in the world at
it.

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I'm pretty good at it, but he's
way better than I am at it.

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And you know, having this man be
my coach is pretty darn awesome.

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What's really awesome about it
is that I'm paying him a lot of

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money.
And because I'm paying him a lot

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of money, I'm showing up a
certain way in this program.

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And believe you me, I'm showing
up ready for rolls.

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I'm showing up intending to get
a return on my investment,

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intending to get a multiple
return on my investment, and I'm

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showing up taking responsibility
for getting that multiple return

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on my investment.
I'm not just leaning back

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waiting for him to give me
stuff.

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I'm like, all right, what's it
going to take to get that going?

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Yeah.
So that's the tale.

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Yeah, investing in things just
it proves what your priorities

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are.
So if if you're a man that's

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never invested in himself, that
says sadly a lot.

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It does, it does.
Unfortunately, too many men have

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not invested in themselves and
if you one of my clients back in

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the day was Robin Sharma who
wrote the multi million selling

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book The Monk Who Sold His
Ferrari.

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You've never read that book,
Andy, you need to read that

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book.
You need to go on Amazon, order

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it and read it right away.
It is a phenomenal book.

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Sold 15,000,000 copies.
OK, so man, man wrote a good

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book.
I was his fitness trainer.

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This was 17 years ago and I said
to him, I said, hey Robin, you

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help people with success.
How can I double my income this

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year?
He said, well, that's simple,

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Nikki.
I said, OK, we'll check.

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He said all you have to do is
triple your investment in your

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own personal professional
development.

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I said triple.
He said, yeah.

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I said why?
He said that's easy.

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You're the easily the most
important asset in your life and

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in your business.
Businesses invest in assets to

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improve them and get a return
all the time.

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You're the most important asset
in your business.

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Ergo you'll need and should get
the most investment.

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So if you want to do better, the
most important asset, you must

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be better.
You won't do better if you don't

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get better.
And for that you have to invest.

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You got to hire coaches, you got
to join masterminds, you got to

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attend conferences, do courses,
read books.

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So I, he said, how much did you
invest in yourself last year?

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And I said, $5000, right?
I, I, I, I was in a program and

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I was in a mastermind of sorts.
He said triple it.

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I go, OK, I will.
And I did.

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And he was right.
I over doubled my income.

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I almost tripled my income that
year, you know, because I became

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better.
And in your experience, what

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happens to a man who finds a a
safe, committed space of other

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men for the first time?
What, what, what happens to that

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man?
Well, that's a really good

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question because, you know, he's
able to let his mask slip, tell

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the truth maybe for the first
time, and then he's able to get

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feedback.
Now, you got to understand you

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need to be in a group where
there's a fine balance struck

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between men that won't use what
you said against you or like,

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try to hammer you before, right?
And men who won't push you

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because, I don't know, No
judgement.

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OK, I got news for you.
This no judgement bullshit is

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the most ridiculous thing I've
ever heard in my life.

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I'm sorry.
I judge people and things all

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the time.
If you're a pedophile, I'm

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judging your ass and not well.
There's no no judgement there,

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all right?
If you cheat on your wife, I'm

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judging your ass, OK and not
well.

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Now, am I going to come in a
group if you reveal that to all

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of us and say you're a piece of
shit?

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No, I'm not going to do that.
But I'd be lying if I told you

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00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:07,920
it wouldn't make me think twice
about trusting you because, you

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know, Ross Perot said, if your
wife can't trust you, why should

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I?
And I think he's right, right?

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I think he's right.
And there's a difference between

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judging a man because we all do
that and we should do that, and

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making him wrong.
You know what I'm saying here?

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Because when a man's in a group,
he's got to, he's got to feel

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that he can say whatever he
needs to say, including some

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heavy nasty shit, right?
So making him wrong for what

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he's sharing.
We can't have that.

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00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:47,240
But like, if he just told you,
hey man, I, I just cheated on my

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00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:53,480
wife, the 218 year old hookers.
If you pretend like that's OK, I

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00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,480
think you're doing that man a
disservice, right?

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You're going on nasty.
How can men reclaim their

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masculine essence without
falling into possibly harmful

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00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,240
stereotypes?
What do you mean by that?

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00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,960
I'm I'm not sure the harmful
possible.

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00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,040
What's a possible harmful
stereotype?

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00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,080
Well, let's see some old tropes.
The So the oldest trope I think

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00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,920
of is a stoic man that does
everything by himself.

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00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:25,720
Right, Sonny, 'cause you already
said no man can do it all

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00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:27,000
himself.
They need support.

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00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,360
And Stoics didn't do everything
by themselves, by the way.

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I mean, it's a it's it's a joke.
Don't just, you know, they just

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encourage each other to not be
pussies, right?

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00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,280
Yeah.
But anyone who thinks that

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00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:44,480
Stoics were alone, like Marcus
Aurelius, you know, the founder

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00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:48,040
of the Stoics school, certainly
didn't do anything by himself.

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00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,640
I mean, you know, he was
possibly Rome's greatest emperor

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00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:55,400
and he also had the most number
of strong men around him to help

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00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:59,160
him conquer foreign lands and
govern the empire.

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00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:04,720
So I think this whole thing of
the, the, the strong silent type

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00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,680
is fine.
I, I, I think there's a lot to

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be said for a man not
oversharing.

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After all, we're, we're men and
we're not women.

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00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:17,080
But I, I, I think there's also a
lot to be said for a man who

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knows how to ask for help.
And if you don't know how to ask

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00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,960
for help, I actually don't think
that's masculine.

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I don't think that's masculine.
Very boyish, tell you the truth.

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Do you think it's possible for a
man to overshare within a men's

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group environment?
Well, it depends.

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00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:38,840
So if he's got to just let it
all out out of something he's

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00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,560
dealing with, then no.
But if he's one of these verbal

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00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:45,320
diarrhea dudes who doesn't know
how to shut up about anything,

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00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,120
that hell yeah.
We've had some of those around

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our circle.
We had the standard.

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We called truth quickly.
Get to the point quickly.

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Like, don't, don't tell us the
history of your life.

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00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,040
Tell us what the issue is and
we'll help you.

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00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,880
But you know, so tell us what's
going on.

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We tell the man and then he'll
go.

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00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:06,240
Well, you know, when I was seven
years old, my mom slapped me and

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00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,760
that had a really bad effect on
me because I don't like anyone.

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00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,920
That's I mean, dude, shut up
already.

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What happened?
What happened?

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00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:14,880
Well, I have to tell you that
now.

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00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,560
You don't.
You don't need to hear it.

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00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,240
We really don't need to hear it.
We just need to know what's

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00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,920
going on now.
Cheated on your wife and you're

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00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,000
blaming it on your mom slapping
you when you were seven?

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00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,760
That's the BS you try to feed
us.

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00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,640
You mentioned earlier that you
were a personal trainer.

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00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:34,280
How does the role of physical
vitality and discipline show up

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00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,760
in a man's emotional or
spiritual growth?

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00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:41,920
I have not been a personal
trainer since 2012.

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00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,440
So I was a personal trainer no
longer.

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00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:50,480
I am, I think a man.
You know, there's a, there's a

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00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:53,880
woman on Instagram who has a
channel called Dana Disagrees

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00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,480
and she's a pro patriarchy
woman.

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00:16:56,480 --> 00:17:00,400
So I love her to pieces man.
She's great and she talks about

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00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,520
the three M's that all men have
to have.

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00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,880
And I really like the three M's.
So that's why I'm I'm, I'm, I'm

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00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:08,960
going to, I'm going to tell you
about the three M's right now.

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00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,000
She's the 1st is mine.
You got to have a strong

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00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,960
mindset.
The second is muscle.

299
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,839
That means you got to look after
yourself and be physically fit.

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00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:19,520
If you're not, you're not really
a man if you can be pushed

301
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,119
around physically.
And the third is money.

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00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:26,040
You got to take care of your
money because if you don't do

303
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:30,120
that, there's a problem is a
real problem, right?

304
00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:31,640
You won't be able to look after
your family.

305
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,280
So I say this to the men that
are listening in.

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00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,480
Have your three Ms. under
control.

307
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:42,560
And if you don't get with a good
group of men, you know, it can

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00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,720
be a Bible based group, it can
be a secular group.

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00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:50,200
What matters is that you're with
men that are good men that are,

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00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,640
that are, that got your back,
but also are going to push you

311
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,640
out of your comfort zone.
Because if you stay in your

312
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,160
comfort zone, your toast.
Yeah.

313
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,960
So it's not a support group in
the sense of whatever you do is

314
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,440
OK.
It's men that will challenge you

315
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,880
have a have at least a degree of
judgement allowed there.

316
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,160
Yeah, yeah.
You see this why I don't like

317
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:13,600
the word support group because
to me, like, listen, my woman's

318
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,200
been in women's groups, right?
And there are support groups and

319
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,160
they're great for women because
women need that.

320
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,280
They need to just emote and
speak and have other women go,

321
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,480
oh, that's so great, you're so
brave, blah, blah, blah.

322
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,720
That's wonderful for women.
That is not wonderful for men.

323
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,720
A man does not need to emote on
his emotions.

324
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:34,800
A man needs to be kicked out of
his complacency into action.

325
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:38,000
That is what makes us men
succeed.

326
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:43,720
If you are stuck in anywhere in
your life, the best thing you

327
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:47,960
can do is get unstuck.
Not talk about it forever, but

328
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,600
get unstuck.
That doesn't mean don't talk

329
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,200
about it at all.
You should talk about it with

330
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,680
your man.
There's some things you got to

331
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,480
think through and figure out,
but there should be a finite

332
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:59,280
amount of time associated.
We're talking about it, and

333
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:03,040
there should be a lot of time
associated with taking action to

334
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,600
solve it.
What advice would you give a man

335
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,800
who's feeling alone and
resistant to just still

336
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,880
resistant to this whole joining
a group sort of thing?

337
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,400
Look, I'm not here to tell
anybody they have to do

338
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,720
something or don't have to do
something.

339
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,960
All I can tell you is for me and
the men that have been in groups

340
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,440
that I've been in it, it's been
the most positive, beneficial

341
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,920
thing.
I've made more money because of

342
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,520
being in Group.
Like a lot more money.

343
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:28,840
So if making more money is
important to you, joining your

344
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,440
group will help you make a lot
more money.

345
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,040
And Andy, I'm sure you agree
with this, right?

346
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,360
Men that are in Group are more
successful, make more cash.

347
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,520
That's the bottom line.
If you're married, you're in a

348
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,240
relationship, your relationship
with your woman will get better.

349
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,080
You'll be happier, they'll be
less stress because of you being

350
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,840
in a group and frankly, she'll
fuck you more.

351
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:49,160
And you know, last I checked,
most men like that idea, right?

352
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:52,000
You show up a certain way, your
woman's going to be more into,

353
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,960
into you and is going to give
you more sex.

354
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,560
And that's a good thing, right?
And if you're, if you're single,

355
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,960
you know, and you want to stay
single, it'll help you be good

356
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:03,480
at attracting women.
And if you're single and, and

357
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:08,320
you want to find the one, it'll
help you be the sort of man who

358
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:13,120
can attract the one.
And finally, man, it'll, it'll

359
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,840
push you out of your comfort
zone so you become mentally.

360
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,760
Physically stronger, tougher men
in our group, man.

361
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,960
They're, they've been dudes who
came in our group, fat as fuck,

362
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,840
who are now like physical
beasts, specimens, you know what

363
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,440
I mean?
They've been men who come in our

364
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:31,680
group broke on welfare, who now
run six and seven figure

365
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,440
businesses.
And they've been dudes who come

366
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:38,960
in our group, like with 0 skills
with women, OK, like 0 skills

367
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,840
with women who are now like
beating them off with a stick,

368
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,040
you know?
And they've been dudes that have

369
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,720
come in our group whose
relationship with their wife was

370
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,880
like, not good.
They're not not going well, not

371
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,160
getting sex.
Now it's it's good they're

372
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:56,680
getting lots of sex.
And I don't know, if I were you

373
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,880
as a man, I'd want all of those
things.

374
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:03,920
Do you do you suggest or find in
in your groups that it's best to

375
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,800
have a wide range of ages or
should you know 20 year olds be

376
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,400
in Group with 20 year olds?
No, no wide range of ages is

377
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:15,240
good man, because young men can
learn from elders and elders can

378
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,760
learn from young men.
Energy that the young can bring

379
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,560
to a group of elder men that'll
get them out of there can place.

380
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:25,120
Oh, I'm going to answer 54.
Fuck off being around these

381
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:27,000
young guys, take some of their
energy, get out there and do

382
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,400
your thing.
And some of these young dudes

383
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:32,200
need to be told some harsh
truths that you know other young

384
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,160
men aren't going to tell them.
And do you find that can?

385
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,240
To.
Perform at its best?

386
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,080
Is a men's group best in person
or remote?

387
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,360
Or can both work?
What?

388
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:45,800
What's your experience there?
Look, in person is obviously the

389
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,920
gold standard, right?
Like if you can have an in

390
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,240
person situation, that's really
fantastic.

391
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:54,960
But our group right now is
primarily a, a remote group.

392
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,200
We meet on Zoom, we have people
from all over.

393
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,560
I live in Toronto.
A lot of the men are from

394
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:05,480
Toronto, but we have some folks
that are from places like

395
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:13,680
Oklahoma, Florida, Northern
Ontario, like, you know, it's,

396
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,400
it's good to create a space for
all these men to be.

397
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:21,000
Now we go out of our way to make
it possible for men to come and

398
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:25,720
be together a few times a year.
So this weekend coming up, we're

399
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:29,440
doing the overnight in July, we
do one of our annual kick off

400
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,800
meetings.
Those are in person for most of

401
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,240
the men show up in person for
those.

402
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,440
But both can work.
And the most important thing is

403
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,360
that you're with men, men you
can trust.

404
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,840
That's the most important thing.
Nikki, and any thoughts to what

405
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:45,280
you hope your legacy is when it
comes to men's work?

406
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:50,200
You know, I got a vision where
we're living in a time again

407
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,320
where men, manhood and
masculinity are revered the way

408
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,400
they used to be.
With my men's group, I, I want

409
00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:00,840
to, I want to, I want to create
our movement to be 1010 thousand

410
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:04,400
men strong.
And I want other men like me to

411
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,760
create movements of 1010
thousand men strong.

412
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:11,840
And I think there need to be at
least 10,100 thousand men like

413
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:17,480
me doing what we do, because
otherwise, you know, masculinity

414
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,280
has no chance.
What's one thing you wish more

415
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,160
men knew?
That there's men out there who

416
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:23,840
give a shit.
Beautiful.

417
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,600
So Nikki, what's the best way
for people to learn more about

418
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,840
you and about the the groups
you're offering?

419
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:39,280
So our website is Sovereign Man
sovereignman.ca and to our

420
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:43,200
podcast is on that website you
can find out about our our

421
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,160
programs.
The Sovereign Circle program is

422
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:50,000
our main program.
This is where you can find out

423
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,320
about how to be a part of
something with other men.

424
00:23:53,760 --> 00:24:00,440
We offer a complimentary meeting
to any man like you want to come

425
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:01,960
see who we are, what we're all
about.

426
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:03,880
You can come to a complimentary
meeting.

427
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,320
All you got to do is reach out
to me.

428
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,280
And the best way to reach out to
me, just find me anywhere on

429
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:13,440
social media and say, you know,
and there's also like a, like a

430
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,320
forum where contact us on the
Sovereign man.ca.

431
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,040
Just go in there and say I'm
interested in coming to a

432
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,400
meeting.
We'll hook you up, check it out,

433
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:21,840
see if it's something you want
to do.

434
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,480
I just want more men to come to
these types of meetings and be

435
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,160
at these meetings.
These meetings are life changing

436
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,160
has.
There been a transformation from

437
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,520
a man in in one of your groups
that has surprised even you.

438
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:39,280
Well, I can't say I get
surprised, but I'm, I'm always

439
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,480
gratified to see some of the
transformations.

440
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:47,560
I mean, we had a man join us in
2021 who was literally on

441
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:53,440
welfare, on welfare.
And within less than a year he

442
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,640
had a business.
He had a business making six

443
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,440
diggers.
Just recently got married to a

444
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:04,240
really beautiful woman, actually
Iranian woman from my culture,

445
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,400
and he's got more work than he
can handle.

446
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,080
It's a good problem to have.
Nick, I know that you're an

447
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,520
immigrant, and not just in the
US, but in a lot of places these

448
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,600
days, a lot of countries seem to
be blaming immigrants for

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00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,000
everything.
So I just wonder, as someone

450
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:25,480
that is such a successful
business person, human being,

451
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:30,840
man immigrant, you know, how
does seeing this kind of tie

452
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,360
turning against immigration,
how, how, how does that hit you?

453
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,640
Well, I I don't quite see it as
turning against immigration, but

454
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:41,080
rather against illegal
immigration, like immigration

455
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:44,120
without permission.
That because in in certainly in

456
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:48,600
my country, Canada, we're not
against immigration and we have

457
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:58,200
a robust immigration tradition
and we want to see legal through

458
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,160
the channels immigration
continue.

459
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,480
We have a problem with people
that are line jumpers, right?

460
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:08,080
And we also have a problem with,
you know, human traffickers

461
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:12,920
being allowed to bring people
into the country basically for

462
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:14,520
sex slavery.
We had a problem with that.

463
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:17,160
That shouldn't be allowed.
And we have a problem with

464
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:21,920
people in government that are
cynically letting this happen,

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00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:27,000
letting these young girls and
even young boys be molested and

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00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:36,360
and brutalized, traumatized.
And I think people have every

467
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:39,880
right to tell their government
to have a sensible immigration

468
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:43,000
policy.
Canada would not be Canada

469
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,240
without immigrants. the United
States would not exist without

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00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,040
immigrants.
There's no question about both

471
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:51,040
of those facts.
But I can tell you in Canada, we

472
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,240
used to have 200,000 immigrants
a year.

473
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,880
Then Trudeau 4 years ago decided
to up that number to a million a

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00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,400
year.
At the time, Canada had 36

475
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:01,720
million people.
That's insanity.

476
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,160
You can't handle a million
people a year, five straight

477
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,600
years.
That's an insane number of

478
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,160
people to allow into your
country.

479
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:14,040
And many of them, unfortunately,
have been not the best folks.

480
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,360
They've been a lot of people
that have come in that are

481
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,400
members of transnational
criminal gangs.

482
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:23,720
So Toronto has always been the
safest big city in the world.

483
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:27,960
It's no longer that.
I mean, there's carjackings that

484
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,120
are through the roof.
There's home invasions at a

485
00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:35,880
level that is insane and these
are criminal gangs that have

486
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:41,440
through this illegal immigration
turn the other way system made

487
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,880
their way into Canada and are
laughing their asses off taking

488
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:46,640
advantage of our of our system
here.

489
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:50,240
So from my point of view, I'd
like to see that stop.

490
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,960
I'd like to see it go back to
the system that existed prior to

491
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:57,840
2021 in Canada where we vet
immigrants and we let in the

492
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,880
best people.
It's my family came in here with

493
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,520
money to invest, to start a
business, to employ Canadians.

494
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:05,840
And that's how we ought to be
bringing in immigrants.

495
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,600
We ought to be bringing in the
best of the best people that are

496
00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:11,600
wanting to come here and build
something and all that.

497
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,320
And we go back to that.
Canada is going to have its cold

498
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,880
in age again.
Nikki, wanna thank you so much,

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00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:21,600
not just for joining me today,
but for the service, the holding

500
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:25,240
space for men, the encouraging
men to step up because what I

501
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:29,160
think the need the world is in
drastic need of is more men on

502
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,680
purpose realize their strength
and aren't afraid to use it.

503
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,960
Amen.
Thanks for listening to Real Men

504
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:37,600
Feel.
I hope something in today's

505
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,760
episode landed with you.
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506
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,800
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507
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:48,800
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508
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:53,280
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509
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,960
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511
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