Men Stepping Into Their Masculinity | Exploring Our Spirituality

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Hello and welcome to real men.
Feel, this is your host author,

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coach and healer.
And he Grant, you can visit v&e

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Grant.com to learn more about me
room and feel exist to remind

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men that they are human and have
the right to experience and

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express all of their emotions.
We have the conversations that

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most men are not having but that
all men can benefit from knowing

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hear from many men that the last
few years they feel like

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masculinity is under attack in
some way.

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They're not sure how to act.
They don't know what's expected

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of them anymore and sometimes,
These men feel like being a man

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is somehow wrong.
Let's do we can do about that

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today.
My guest is Jay Malik, he's an

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American spiritual teacher
author and speaker, who

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emphasizes the importance of
spiritual alignment for our

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careers relationships and
finances.

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His mission is to empower men
and women who develop healthy

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and prosperous relationships.
Malik has a knack for addressing

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the heart of relationship,
Dynamic for this insight, and

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intuition, his personal journey
of Spiritual Development,

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inspired him to share his
insights as a Mystic.

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Eric and he teaches others, the
science and math of spirituality

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that is often lost in modern
religion, welcome to real.

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And feel Malik, thank you for
having me.

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I'm ready to get it down to the
Meat potatoes, awesome.

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So I really want to ask have you
always been interested in

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spirituality and mystical
subjects?

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Yes, always like intrigues me, I
think more than anything, it's

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seeing real world problems and
then looking at the root of

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those problems and and saying
like, hmm.

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That's not a surface level
solution, you can find for that.

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There's a deep spiritual root to
that's always kind of see

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problems.
And I say hmm, the answer today

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is spiritual was not Material.
We have to get that spiritual

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root to even address the surface
up with things.

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So and is that true for every
problem?

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Virtually.
I mean I haven't I haven't come

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across any like a human problem.
That doesn't get at some point

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to the root of spirituality.
Even, it's just from a sense of

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morality or motivation.
Inspirational words that come

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from and there's something
always balancing between like

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what is our spirit moving us to
do?

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So it's what I'm saying at least
in my experience with people is

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just like, there's something in
the spiritual place that may be

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blocking or hindering that that
for progression.

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So tell me a bit about your
upbringing, were you raised in a

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very spiritually aware
environment?

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My family is like super
spiritual, I have different

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religions in my family grew up
like reading a lot of different

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material.
As I got older.

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I started exploring and ventured
off into different religious and

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I probably stayed over 100
different religions by the time

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I was 22 and just really just
diving into trying to find what

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is the common root?
What's the common ground?

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We can all find and hold.
And why do we continue creating

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these ideas about the spiritual
with the infinite.

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Like there's something to this
that hasn't stopped since human

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as Humanity have started.
It's still happening.

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Now we're trying to find this
deeper meaning.

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Again it's always compelled me.
So I've had support in that

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because my coming so spiritual
but also just like able to walk

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my own walk-in really kind of
find quote-unquote answers for

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myself and then seeing that in
the the real world and kind of

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share those same things with
others.

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Do you think it is possible for
a man to really connect a known

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his masculinity without also
connecting and owning his

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spirituality?
I think it's very, very

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difficult and it's interesting
because I know atheist, right?

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And they don't consider
themselves as collect something

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deeper or in a spiritual aspect,
but I would And those

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conversation to describe it.
It's very much, a esoteric

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principle of like their
intrinsic motivations.

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It's not just a logical basting
where it's there.

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Something internal within all of
us and what do we call it

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spirituality?
Whether you call it inspiration,

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whether we call it, your inner
being, whatever it is, there

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something to a man that his
masculinity driving him?

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What something is driving you
beyond just your material needs

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because If that was the case,
all men would just stop there.

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Who just stop it.
We're have enough to eat.

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We have enough shelter, but
there's something about us to

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have the creative spirit.
That says, it's time to innovate

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time to create.
It's time to build and I think

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it's hard to be at a high level
without being connected to the

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intrinsic value of yourself.
Right?

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I get that.
So yeah, if we were just this

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bag of Flesh and there was no
other Force besides us then,

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yeah, we'd there.
And eventually they'd be enough.

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We wouldn't people would be
always searching for more or Y

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or try to understand things.
And from my own experience.

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So when I was younger, I was, I
was not raised in a house with

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any sort of religion, so I
thought that made me an atheist

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and then I often thought that.
And but so I've come to realize

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that yeah.
Regardless of your belief, it

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doesn't change the fact that you
are a spiritual being.

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Yeah.
Yeah, cool.

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That's, that's interesting to
see if they'd like they're so

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much about theism that there's
so many ideologies across the

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board as far as monotheism
polytheism pantheism pain in

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theism there.
It's all still trying to find

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this common thing that we can
connect.

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You is says there.
Something that has a higher

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energy or a higher intelligence
or a higher influence than the

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individual human.
I think for the most part

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everyone agrees with that,
right?

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Even if someone who was like,
Atheist names, like a stew

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science.
Like, well there's some

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scientific Force that's
happening beyond your control.

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And so it's we all can recognize
this energy that's beyond us and

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I like working with the simple
things as far as we can.

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All agree on that thing.
We all can't believe the same

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thing that what you tell
yourself about that?

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We're stories.
You have about that chicks

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playing it.
That's everyone's perogative,

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right?
That's just part of the human

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story to create stories to
understand things.

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But if we all understand in the
feeling of being driven by

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something Beyond us, that's
that's what's most important.

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Yeah, I keep finding that,
especially quantum physics

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science in general is catching
up with spirituality keeps

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proving more and more and No,
the best scientists realizes

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that they don't know everything
and so science keeps expanding

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learning more.
And yeah, I just be a catching

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up as opposed to uh so people
that say oh he's to be proven by

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science like well, great, if you
can wait a few hundred years to

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have all you want to believe
proven or you can just accept it

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or, you know, some people like
well you know what, if the

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spiritual aspect was true, would
that change how you live day to

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day?
Yeah, yeah.

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That's I'd like that thing of
like science catching up this

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bridge.
I think spirituality of science

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that has yet to be explained.
Mmm, all the spiritual energy,

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we talk about metaphysics and
how wife is formed?

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They need.
It's interesting how the

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scientific world is.
It's a mirror.

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You know, it's like the esoteric
and exoteric coming into form at

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the same time, then we have this
new Enlightenment and all of a

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sudden you also have new things
and engineering technology.

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Any time in history.
Look at you.

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Look back.
When there was a A great Spurt

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of spirituality or new
Consciousness to the to the

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people, there was always new
advances scientifically or

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technology-based and when that
same space now we're introducing

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Quantum Computing, and AI
intelligence and machine

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learning.
All these things are coming in a

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form and they're here to help
facilitate the new spiritual

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energy is going to be understood
maybe in 100 200, 500 years.

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But to your point it's already
here is already true.

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This we had to have the science
to understand it which may check

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us you know.
A lagging indicator behind what

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actually true spiritually, which
is why we have to have faith

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because we're given things that
you can't yet understand.

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So it's just like, hey you can
accept it or reject this but

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it's more easy.
You just take it in now and let

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the science play out because it
will but just a matter of time,

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you know?
Yeah, I love that.

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I've never heard of that.
That term lagging indicators

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pair.
Yeah humanity is a lagging

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indicator to the kind of the big
picture, it seems but hopefully

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that even that as You know, as
the rate of change and

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Technology keeps speeding up
fast and faster.

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Hopefully, our Awakening and our
awareness, our Consciousness is

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doing the same That's, that's
the Gap, right?

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Yeah.
What are some specific things

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that that you see keeping men
from embracing their masculinity

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and kind of who they truly are?
That's a tough one.

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That's a big one on a collective
level.

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I would say We have this.
Lacking energy behind of the

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last 50 years.
Last 100 years.

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Like, stepping into adulthood as
we mad.

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You don't necessarily
consciously know that you're

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absorbing so much energy that
has nothing to do with you.

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You're observing culture.
That's been formed as you were

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getting older, you just you get
thrusted into it.

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For the last 100 years, we've
had a real Dynamic chain between

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masculine and feminine men, and
women, gender roles, gender,

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identity.
All these things are kind of

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Becoming less stable more fluid
and there's questions around

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things, there's people wanting
to destroy some aspects of some

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things.
There's a lot of confusion.

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We're not going to great gray
area right now.

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And so if you were a young man
who's being born to the society

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and versus maybe a hundred years
ago where What was expected of

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you as a man was very, very much
told you, it's like, this will

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be expect of you.
We're going to prepare you for

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this.
So when you get of age, you

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understand what you have to do
and move forward.

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Now because of the cultural
shifts their culture dynamics,

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that have happened that almost
say like, hey, we don't really

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need men.
Are we don't want men to be any

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situation, we want, women should
have more power and we can say

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that's all fine and dandy.
The issue is, when it comes to

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You know.
Partnering up or are choosing a

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mate.
There are still things that are

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Primal like wire and women to
want certain aspects of

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masculinity.
And there are certain aspects of

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men who look for certain aspects
of femininity.

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And if you don't prepare men,
You put them in situations where

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there are prepared in mating and
that is causing so much friction

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to the gender identity and
gender roles.

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And so you still have some of
the base, things, like sex food,

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like our Primal, neither still
there.

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So I'm unprepared, I still have
the same Primal needs.

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And I have a culture that is
becoming more sexually liberated

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or in exclusive.
Then you thrust me into a sexual

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marketplace, where sex is a
coping mechanism and that just

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goes down another Rabbit Hole of
like, okay, well, this is, you

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know, the base of manhood is, is
fatherhood, you know,

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essentially like fatherhood is
essentially being a husband, a

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father, the The two most
important job that man has.

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And then if we're not prepared
for those things then it's not

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that, it's not only that you're
not prepared for fatherhood or

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to be a husband, it's that the
lack of preparation leads you,

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to other things that you would
normally be doing if you were

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preparing for husbandry and
fatherhood.

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So it leads to addictions, and,
and dark vices, and just a dark

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Road.
And by the time, someone can,

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maybe try to figure out their
path or their way, There are so

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many men who are being
displaced, not just financially

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but mentally emotionally because
then life gets harder, you know,

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like this and get easier, the
more burdens we get.

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And so manhood is a burden that
is you know, meant to be a

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journey that you're climbing and
you're getting better and

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getting better but the burden
doesn't stop if you're not

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getting better.
So there are a lot of men who

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are facing more burden and they
haven't gotten better and they

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haven't been trained how to get
better.

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So it's like and then but
they're hearing from people.

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People from women and other men
as well, like, hey, you gotta

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get better and like no one ever
taught me how to get better.

230
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How do I know how if, no one
ever told me?

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And I all I've heard growing up
is, we don't need men to do

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this.
You'll need me to do this and I

233
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brought with me, do everything.
I don't understand why I'm

234
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confused.
I'm lost, doesn't make sense.

235
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A lot of men are struggling with
that.

236
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Like what do you want from me
kind of thing, right?

237
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Yeah, and this culture we don't
have any sort of initiation so

238
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we have all sorts of children in
adult bodies.

239
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Units really to the detriment of
all of us but talking about how

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it, you know, Pat prior
Generations.

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It was very clear.
Men were told what was expected

242
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and it was this really narrow
container often I've ever been

243
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called a called, you know, the
man box and as we grow up and

244
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want to even men to want to push
those walls down and be more.

245
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And I don't want to just be
stoic.

246
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I don't want to keep everything
inside of me.

247
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I don't want to just be.
I'm the breadwinner.

248
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And that's all so many
traditional male jobs are being

249
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on the Frontline for traumas.
And for troubles and it's almost

250
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as if men were considered more
disposable than women.

251
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Yes.
So I think that falling away is

252
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,000
great, but and what it means is
that, that man box, word means

253
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be man keeps growing and growing
getting wider.

254
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And to me it doesn't mean that
the old roles aren't wrong

255
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000
anymore that you're just more
than that.

256
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,700
Yeah but I think some of the the
confusion the Distortion is so

257
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:11,300
it's not it's not right to be a
strong silent man.

258
00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:16,100
It's not right to be the chief
Breadwinner like no, it's fine,

259
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,300
but you're more.
Within that.

260
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:23,000
Yeah, it's expansion Exodia.
It's and it's also to a point

261
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,700
and I hope it's a lot.
It's just that we live in a

262
00:14:25,708 --> 00:14:29,200
different time period as well.
Like the things that men had to

263
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,100
do work for that time period, is
that?

264
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,800
Anyway, they're going to be
things that we have to do even

265
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,700
like right now as like a more
Tech based society, there are

266
00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:40,400
still so much infrastructure
that's going to be built in the

267
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,700
next 100 years that the men of
Tomorrow will not have to worry

268
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:47,000
about both because we built it
technology but we're in the

269
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,100
space to build that because
there are so much interest

270
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:52,000
already built and other areas
that we will have to do where

271
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,400
this farm land, whether it's
Logistics systems, all these

272
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,500
things are set up, every
generation of men set up some

273
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:04,000
kind of foundation for the next
and you know, they're some of

274
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,800
those old traditional roles are
tied to things of the previous,

275
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:11,400
you know, foundation and some of
those things translate over.

276
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,500
But a lot of things that men
have to do 200 years ago.

277
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We have to worry about now.
So you have to find new ways to

278
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,000
use your masculine energy and to
create and to innovate and to

279
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,900
build and to your point, I can
assist expansion, but it's still

280
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,500
expanding beyond the definition,
but understanding the dynamic

281
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:34,100
between the energy to think it's
where we're losing, and because

282
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:37,400
there are women who are seven,
figure earners six-figure

283
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,200
earners.
And guess what?

284
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:42,900
Those women typically still want
the same dynamic, because it's

285
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:47,400
it feels, right?
They They're not typically

286
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,600
looking forward to be the
domineering Forest.

287
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:54,700
It's just, that's a Culturally
is kind of pushed and some of

288
00:15:54,708 --> 00:15:58,700
them accepted because they feel
like that but it's hey there, a

289
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:01,400
lot of men being displaced and
seeing that.

290
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,400
Hey, you're not good for
anything else we're gonna throw

291
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:07,400
you in front of this, you know,
whatever.

292
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,400
Physical labor and you die
alone.

293
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,600
You die alone.
That's fine.

294
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:13,100
And there are men who are
brilliant thinkers, brilliant

295
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:18,200
artist, brilliant creators.
there are not fulfilling their

296
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:23,500
potential, or their dreams even
because One box doesn't work for

297
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,000
them.
They weren't trained for in the

298
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,900
other box.
Doesn't feel tangible enough.

299
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:31,800
So you have to go do this thing
that everyone it's like,

300
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,600
they're, they're kind of like
this is the thing that can kind

301
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,600
of contain my manhood, but
there's so much more to me and I

302
00:16:38,608 --> 00:16:43,400
think this is what caused the
depression amongst men suicide

303
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,900
rates among men.
All these things are pressing

304
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:52,900
issues that don't really get,
you know, the proper recognition

305
00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:57,000
that it needs to because Society
is changing.

306
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,100
It's like well boohoo you were
man.

307
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,900
You got all this privilege.
All this power.

308
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:04,000
It's like what privileges had to
be discarded.

309
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,900
Like like nothing.
And then, you know, like it's a

310
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:10,000
very weird thing that's
happening.

311
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:16,000
I think we're slowly shifting
away from I think as Things

312
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:21,300
become more obvious and this
generation of women are kind of

313
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,400
seeing, like, wait a minute,
something isn't working.

314
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,700
So we're in that period of
transition to wear We're not the

315
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:30,500
old generation that begun
feminism.

316
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:33,700
I always tell women today.
Even if I cure 50s, like when

317
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:37,400
family is my started, you were
probably not born.

318
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,500
It's like no one here, had like
no one alive today.

319
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:43,800
Most like most of us who are
alive.

320
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:47,700
Today had nothing to do with the
start or the evolution of

321
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:51,100
feminism.
We were all born into either.

322
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:55,800
Third, fourth wave, feminism,
and then just adopting the And

323
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,200
they go.
And so the problem with adopting

324
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,400
narrative, you know, from a
psychological standpoint is you

325
00:18:00,408 --> 00:18:03,500
don't get a chance to challenge
them or to test them and

326
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:06,700
everything has to be stress
tested and I pulled the

327
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:11,300
research, you look at the data
between the last 50 years or 60

328
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:15,500
years to now, everything that
you would expect for a liberated

329
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:18,900
woman Society to be better at
where Works in single

330
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:22,100
motherhood, is up multiple
multi-partner.

331
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:28,400
Fertility is up, the mother
amount of Of women who are

332
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,100
contributing 50% or more of the
income to the household is up.

333
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:36,400
So it's like all this Liberation
and the family unit is actually

334
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:40,200
degrading.
Divorce rates are up so what is

335
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,800
getting better from this?
Looks like it's not the fact

336
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:46,800
that women having rights or
women having this is wrong,

337
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,400
that's not have nothing to do
with it.

338
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,100
The thing is the energy input in
how we are constructing The

339
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:56,500
Narrative of That boy is a boy
until he becomes a man.

340
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:59,200
Then he's bad.
But many he becomes an adult,

341
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,700
then he's bad.
And it's like it starts.

342
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:06,000
It's a gradual process at 5uq at
10.

343
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:09,100
It's like, okay, at 15, you were
threat.

344
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:13,400
And as you get older and older
and older, you're you're less

345
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,100
likely to be supported or
nurtured any kind of way.

346
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:19,600
And so what happens when you
have a generation of men who

347
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:24,900
have been unsupported under the
nurtured and undertrained Did

348
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:27,600
any get blamed for a coach or
they didn't create it.

349
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:33,200
So it's like a very, very it's
difficult for a man, whose.

350
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:37,000
And if that man doesn't have a
father or male role models in

351
00:19:37,008 --> 00:19:39,700
his life, how does he find?
Helping this is great.

352
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,900
We have platforms like this that
can take.

353
00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:45,700
This is we're human.
Like me and are human.

354
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,600
We do have a boat.
Since we do have aspiration

355
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,300
Visions, we have things we want
to do with accomplish and see

356
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:55,600
but and it's important the same
Always important for women to be

357
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,900
empowered and women to know they
can expand.

358
00:19:57,900 --> 00:20:00,800
It's important for men to have
that to and does it, you know,

359
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:05,200
you can't blame the men of today
for the minimum thousand years

360
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,100
ago.
And if there's so much trauma to

361
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:12,600
that hasn't been healed
properly, that's like, oh, you

362
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,200
have all these private room and
it's like being a man, it's

363
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:16,600
hard.
I don't know who told you, it

364
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,300
wasn't, but being a man is
pretty difficult.

365
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,500
You know, brick is difficult.
But being a man, is it still has

366
00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:25,900
his own It sounds dope same way.
Being one has its own set of

367
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:29,200
challenges.
Yeah, I see lots of women who

368
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:32,000
are successful especially in
business or Finance.

369
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:36,700
They often they could they take
on lot of masculine energy and

370
00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:40,000
often celebs of stored energy.
So they will build off me called

371
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,800
a bitch and the job because they
trying to be the aggressive

372
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:47,000
leadership of a man and you
know, there that that story

373
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,800
figures, so they're quiet.
They're not asking for help.

374
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,400
They trying to, you know,
they're acting like they got

375
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,600
everything figured out like is
the greatest mask that men have

376
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,000
worn for Generations.
Like Like no problem here.

377
00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:58,700
Leave me alone, right?
And so, but there's still that

378
00:20:58,700 --> 00:20:59,800
that time.
I decided still exists.

379
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,100
When relationship, they really
still do want to be supported

380
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,700
being taken care of and, and men
want that too.

381
00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:07,700
But it's always been so much
shame for you to say like, I'm

382
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:10,800
struggling often say that the
bravest thing you can do

383
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,600
sometimes is to ask for help on
her ability.

384
00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:16,900
Now hopefully that's more open
and, you know, men can actually

385
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:20,000
be rewarded for asking for
support and support each other

386
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:24,100
and get support from women.
But yeah, it's all very A

387
00:21:24,108 --> 00:21:27,800
nuanced and I said, everything
is goes by pendulum swings.

388
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,700
Yes, we've had like you know,
masking being called toxic and

389
00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:32,000
no and now we're swinging the
other way.

390
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,300
And hopefully there's a selling
point where everyone can just

391
00:21:34,300 --> 00:21:37,400
just be and the labels and
definition, just all fun.

392
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,100
We're just let everything be
nice and nebulous just are like,

393
00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:43,100
are you a happy content human
being great like that.

394
00:21:43,100 --> 00:21:46,400
That's that be the goal that
that's my goal for all of our

395
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,900
goals for our lagging.
Indicators did lead to

396
00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:53,600
happiness.
It's It's up with resistance,

397
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,500
you know, about the strong
woman, I call it pink,

398
00:21:56,500 --> 00:22:01,400
masculinity, you know, because
women do mimic masculinity in

399
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,700
certain spaces.
You talk to that woman behind

400
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:05,000
closed doors, that's not how
that woman.

401
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:08,000
I've talked to countless
businesswomen, I've coached in

402
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:13,000
my mentor them and some of them
feel like they have to have some

403
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,500
things in a forward-facing away,
that's master.

404
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:18,000
I think, even that's starting to
change where it's like, hey

405
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,600
women can be women in certain
spaces and create a feminist.

406
00:22:21,700 --> 00:22:26,600
the aspect to that, but No one
wants to hold that masculine

407
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:31,600
frame.
And and it's Certain spaces were

408
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,200
created with certain energies
and if we realized that, hey, we

409
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,500
can all create our own space
within her like within

410
00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:38,300
ourselves.
If we understand that process,

411
00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:40,300
which goes back to why go back
to the spiritual thing, right?

412
00:22:40,300 --> 00:22:43,000
It's like, it's not a, even a
man woman is, she was just,

413
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,900
like, everyone is got to heal,
and be aware of like the

414
00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:49,900
conditioning.
Because there is a levels of

415
00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:53,200
healing because there's personal
healing, but if my personal

416
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,900
healing conflict with the
collective healing, and I don't

417
00:22:56,900 --> 00:22:59,400
know how to differentiate
between the conditioning of the

418
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,200
collective.
My own condition.

419
00:23:01,700 --> 00:23:05,700
Excuse me, there's going to be
some conflict, because I think

420
00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:09,700
I'm Healed, but I'm also
aligning myself to Collective

421
00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:11,200
trauma, this Collective
narrative.

422
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,100
And that's what I've talked
about.

423
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:17,500
The timing more recently about
tribalism and the identity and

424
00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:23,700
group identity becoming so
pervasive in today's society.

425
00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:28,200
And it's I think it's a dying
ideology to have group identity

426
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:35,100
because it really is a A lack of
better word like to be a slave

427
00:23:35,100 --> 00:23:38,800
to who you think you are.
And it's like to be a slave by

428
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:42,400
group definition like we're both
men, but we're both our own

429
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,800
individuals and we can speak to
common things for men, but it's

430
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:49,300
also part of that is you you get
that.

431
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:54,200
Not right.
But you get the Integrity of

432
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,800
that when you're speaking from
your personhood and you know who

433
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,600
you are outside of this
Collective.

434
00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:03,100
So outside of collective of men
or race or generation or

435
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:10,300
country, or city or whatever it
is religion who you are, wipe

436
00:24:10,300 --> 00:24:12,900
away all those things, that's
what matters the most.

437
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,600
And as long as there is, this
Collective.

438
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,200
It's easy to people, say divide
and conquer.

439
00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:19,600
That's not what's really
happening.

440
00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:24,400
Happening is unifying conquer if
I can unify groups and make them

441
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,300
fight against each other.
That's not divide and conquer.

442
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:28,100
I'm actually putting you
together in conquering you

443
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,600
because I can control each group
with the message.

444
00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:33,100
So I can put men against women,
this against that, and this is

445
00:24:33,100 --> 00:24:37,600
just this.
So, it's The separation is

446
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,600
actually finding herself Within
These constructs of who we think

447
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,200
we are.
Well, there's racial whether

448
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,700
it's gender, whether it's
sexualities like that doesn't

449
00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:48,600
make you who you are, who you
are, is who you are, without any

450
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:52,100
of those things.
And those things are just extra

451
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:56,400
their extra and that's part of
the, you know, that's the

452
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,700
healing process you know, from
from a top-down level.

453
00:24:59,700 --> 00:25:01,900
It's like you are not who
society says you were, or you

454
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,000
are not a woman.
You're not a man, like, you are

455
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,200
your own being and you are part
of this group.

456
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,600
Sure.
And there are things that you

457
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,800
may identify with it, another
group may not identify with, but

458
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,500
that just makes you unique and
your own right, doesn't make the

459
00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:18,400
other group wrong.
And I think, when we can get to

460
00:25:18,408 --> 00:25:21,800
that point, where we really
embrace the individual life,

461
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,300
your uniqueness, and who you are
as an individual.

462
00:25:26,100 --> 00:25:28,900
A lot of this thing's will just
kind of flow because everyone

463
00:25:28,900 --> 00:25:30,900
will go into their path.
That works for them because

464
00:25:30,900 --> 00:25:34,600
there's there may be some women
who want a more feminine partner

465
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,700
makes a man who wanted more
masculine partner that Work

466
00:25:36,700 --> 00:25:40,400
perfectly for them to have no
conflict whatsoever but for most

467
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,800
people that may not work, but
it's like you can't find what

468
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,100
works for you if you're not
really identify who you are and

469
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:50,300
your inner being and your path.
So that's why I'm passing about

470
00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:52,300
the spiritual aspect of it
because it's like, hey, we get

471
00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:55,000
the spiritual stuff, right?
So much of this stuff is clean

472
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,700
yourself up.
It's like oh it's not a real

473
00:25:56,700 --> 00:25:58,900
issue anymore, that's not even
actually a problem.

474
00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:01,100
It's like I was just thinking
about that wrong because this

475
00:26:01,100 --> 00:26:04,200
Collective thing is so
overpowering, it so overbearing

476
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,100
because that's how we learn
about the World, we're literally

477
00:26:07,100 --> 00:26:14,600
condition because the happier
word, or less native conscious

478
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,200
encountered.
The word is is learning for

479
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,100
conditioning.
So conditioning is the same

480
00:26:18,100 --> 00:26:21,400
thing as learning, so we learn
about the world and we assume

481
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,100
that will be learned.
It's not the same thing as

482
00:26:23,100 --> 00:26:26,100
conditioning with.
So conditioning, it's bad at

483
00:26:26,100 --> 00:26:28,300
learning is good, but some
things you learn are actually

484
00:26:28,300 --> 00:26:29,300
bad.
Something you can just do, is

485
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:32,700
actually good.
So you have to decipher these

486
00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:34,200
things of.
What if I learn about the world,

487
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,100
all I learned about history.
Learn about slavery.

488
00:26:37,100 --> 00:26:38,900
I learn about feminism.
I learn about all these

489
00:26:38,900 --> 00:26:42,300
different aspects that give me
an idea about who I am in the

490
00:26:42,308 --> 00:26:44,400
world.
But those things were the past.

491
00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:49,200
You learn about the past to
understand somewhat about how

492
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,400
the words operate today, but
it's not the same because you're

493
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:56,800
not in the past, or in the now
and there's so much freedom and

494
00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:59,600
understanding and separate
yourself from the trauma of the

495
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,000
past and understanding how that
creeps up with you because we're

496
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,100
all learning the same stuff.
It's traumatic.

497
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,400
Digoxin, trembles still Brewing
because we're learning it.

498
00:27:10,700 --> 00:27:12,700
Nothing wrong with learning
about things, but you have to

499
00:27:12,700 --> 00:27:15,800
learn how to separate yourself
from the learning, that's how

500
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,100
you operate in your own
alignment.

501
00:27:17,100 --> 00:27:18,800
You can be conditioned with
anything.

502
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,800
All of us are conditioned, you
know, based on where we live,

503
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,800
and where we're from the coach,
we have the parents, we have the

504
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,000
parents.
They had, we're nothing really

505
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,700
more than a long line of
conditioning.

506
00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:32,800
And to free the selfish really
should say, hey, you know what,

507
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,700
I am more than what I've
learned.

508
00:27:35,300 --> 00:27:39,200
I'm more than what the ego
identifies, as I can be more

509
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:43,500
than this.
And to be more, it's like to

510
00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:45,800
really be less.
It's like to not try to be

511
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,800
anything to not, try to fit into
your own little box and the

512
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,600
minute you stop trying to fit
into your own little box.

513
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:52,400
You become yourself.
You like wait a minute, this is

514
00:27:52,408 --> 00:27:55,300
who I am.
And there's no more.

515
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,200
Yeah there's a lot of here want
to try to unpack a little bit

516
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,800
more so be I greet the the
problem with so many different

517
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,300
groups and identities and labels
it just makes more Us and Them

518
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,400
and we need to be.
We and like I'm sure you agree.

519
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,900
Like one of the great spiritual
foundations and everything is

520
00:28:10,900 --> 00:28:14,400
that we're all one.
Yeah, we're truly one energy.

521
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:18,300
And I believe, you know, we're
all God in physical form having

522
00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:22,400
individuated experiences of this
Mass Collective energy.

523
00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:25,400
Yeah.
And You also mentioned ego and I

524
00:28:25,408 --> 00:28:28,300
recently heard a great
definition for the ego that I

525
00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:31,400
hope I can remember clearly, but
I think was Marianne Williamson.

526
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,500
I heard in her lectures say that
the ego is our self hatred

527
00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:39,300
masquerading as our best friend.
Hmm.

528
00:28:41,900 --> 00:28:43,200
That's deep.
Yeah.

529
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,500
I like I've never heard a phrase
that way, that, that really that

530
00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:49,100
made that really pop made me
pause, like just did for you,

531
00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:56,400
besides us all being one, what
are some just spiritual truths

532
00:28:56,400 --> 00:29:00,500
that that you've experienced and
found to be true that you wish

533
00:29:00,500 --> 00:29:11,600
more people knew?
Hmm. for a core principle that

534
00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:19,100
is just crystallized is always
its present and it can be taken

535
00:29:19,100 --> 00:29:21,300
the wrong way because I will
learn about a third in words,

536
00:29:21,300 --> 00:29:26,100
but the purpose of life is
success, and success is the

537
00:29:26,100 --> 00:29:28,300
Fulfillment of an aim or
purpose.

538
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,200
So, the same way that an apple
seed, if I planted the purpose

539
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,600
of the Appleseed is to what
become an apple tree and grow

540
00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:38,600
apples.
So it will be successful in

541
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,100
being an apple seed.
If it bears fruit and become the

542
00:29:41,100 --> 00:29:46,700
Apple, that same analogy,
Applies to an acorn and acorns.

543
00:29:46,700 --> 00:29:49,300
Now the Apple C but they both
can be successful in what

544
00:29:49,300 --> 00:29:52,500
they're here to do.
And deliver the same way, Apple

545
00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:55,900
C or an acorn or a cactus they
all have their own DNA.

546
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:02,800
Us being this, the Oneness and
separation not going to that.

547
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,800
But we're this separate Oneness
with our own unique spiritual

548
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,800
DNA, or we're own little
fingerprint on here.

549
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,700
On Earth, we have our own little
footprint that we leave you

550
00:30:10,708 --> 00:30:14,300
behind and everyone has a
purpose or a name within their

551
00:30:14,300 --> 00:30:17,300
spiritual DNA that says, hey, if
you water this enough, you will

552
00:30:17,700 --> 00:30:20,400
bear fruit.
What's your here to become?

553
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,000
And we're not always aware of
what that actually is in the

554
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,200
long term, but it's a feeling
process.

555
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:30,000
We feel Ourselves into it, we
align ourselves into that and no

556
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,000
matter where we are in life,
whether you're up with your down

557
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000
with your sideways.
When you're upside down inside

558
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:39,100
out, there's always a path
leading you to that ultimate

559
00:30:39,100 --> 00:30:41,800
success for you, the ultimate
purpose and fulfillment and

560
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,800
things that make you feel alive.
They remind you that you're

561
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,200
alive to remind you, you are
here, having a human experience.

562
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:54,300
That's unique to like, no other.
And aspiring to be that or

563
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,400
walking that path is just takes
one the awareness and saying,

564
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:58,900
hey, there's something more for
me.

565
00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:02,400
There's something here for me to
bear fruit because I'm here for

566
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:07,100
a reason and this time period
and this Universe for a reason

567
00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:11,900
and as we walk into alignment
and we get into, you know, with

568
00:31:11,900 --> 00:31:13,900
meditation and prayer,
journaling, whatever technology

569
00:31:13,900 --> 00:31:17,700
you use That's the purpose of
life.

570
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,900
So then the next course of
action is understand that there

571
00:31:20,900 --> 00:31:23,800
are conditions, right?
I want to grow a cactus.

572
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,700
I have to water it and treat it
differently.

573
00:31:26,700 --> 00:31:31,600
I do I'm going to grow an apple
tree so your own personal inner

574
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,200
seizure, own sperm DNA.
Has to be cultivated by the

575
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,500
right people the right
environment throughout energies.

576
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:40,200
So part of your life, part of
your responsibility to your life

577
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,600
understanding, are you being
water properly?

578
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:43,700
Are you in the right
environment?

579
00:31:43,700 --> 00:31:47,800
You in the right soil, and if
you're not Not there's a there's

580
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,100
an opportunity and you have that
right?

581
00:31:50,100 --> 00:31:52,900
To say, hey I don't belong in
this environment.

582
00:31:53,500 --> 00:31:57,500
I belong as somewhere else with
it feels aligned and or you

583
00:31:57,500 --> 00:32:00,100
practice this and you start
saying no to things that aren't

584
00:32:00,100 --> 00:32:02,800
fulfilling to you just naturally
find your way.

585
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,000
And the irony of that is there
are so many spiritual doctrines,

586
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:10,600
religions and text it all kind
of point to this ultimate truth.

587
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,100
They just, they give you the
rules that can maybe help you

588
00:32:14,100 --> 00:32:16,900
avoid some situations And
they're all trying to say, hey

589
00:32:16,900 --> 00:32:19,700
if you just avoid this, you'll
probably have better for you if

590
00:32:19,700 --> 00:32:25,300
you avoid doing this or avoid
doing that and but that's it.

591
00:32:25,300 --> 00:32:27,600
It's just everything is about
you.

592
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,600
Watering your seat and you being
able to watch your flowers

593
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:35,000
bloom, watch the fruit that you
bear and then I mean in some

594
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,300
analogy, right?
That becomes your children and

595
00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:40,100
your family and you start to
your children and you want your

596
00:32:40,100 --> 00:32:43,000
children to bear fruit, if you
want to watch that blossoming

597
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,600
that becomes an a different
experience of watching life.

598
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,800
If that's come through you live
and create life, that just a

599
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,300
surreal experience.
Say well, wait a minute.

600
00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:54,300
I'm watching life unfold from
me.

601
00:32:55,300 --> 00:33:00,000
And you are now becoming a part
of this Creator, Consciousness,

602
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,800
you are almost taking on that,
you know, microcosm of God

603
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,900
watching his creation on Earth
and you're watching it Blossom

604
00:33:06,900 --> 00:33:08,300
you watching what comes from
you?

605
00:33:08,300 --> 00:33:11,400
And we're all a part of this
long chain into thing.

606
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,600
What we talked about the
conditioning field can be, you

607
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:18,800
know, Deep so can the alignment
folk in the love.

608
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:22,600
So can the purpose?
And we're just, we're just

609
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:26,000
picking and maybe we don't get
to pick one of the other.

610
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,000
Maybe we always do a little bit
of both, right?

611
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,200
But it's like we can do a little
bit more alignment.

612
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,000
Little bit more peaceful bit,
more love, and a little bit less

613
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,700
trauma.
Less fear is less, doubtful that

614
00:33:34,700 --> 00:33:37,700
criticism.
You know, less hatred.

615
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,800
We get to a place where people
can live their life.

616
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,400
They're here to live without
restriction.

617
00:33:44,100 --> 00:33:47,900
And everything will flow into
proper space now that can get

618
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:51,800
very utopian, very quickly, but
it's just, it's a difficult path

619
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,800
as well, you know, because some
things you want to do require

620
00:33:55,300 --> 00:33:58,800
discipline or require study or
require long hours of practice

621
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:01,800
requires sacrifice.
And so, part of you that you

622
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,800
want to become as we require a
shift or something different

623
00:34:05,100 --> 00:34:07,700
than you're currently doing now
because it's challenging you to,

624
00:34:07,700 --> 00:34:10,900
hey, you're better than this.
You can become an evolved

625
00:34:10,900 --> 00:34:13,500
version of yourself, and that's
going to create a ripple effect.

626
00:34:13,699 --> 00:34:17,800
For generations.
And as men is saying, there's

627
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,600
something in you that can be
iconic.

628
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,100
There's something in you that
you may not even be the, I kind

629
00:34:22,100 --> 00:34:24,699
of figured but maybe your
grandson, who sees what you did

630
00:34:24,699 --> 00:34:27,699
and say, wow, Granddad did this.
I'm going to take it to a

631
00:34:27,699 --> 00:34:30,300
different level.
This is inspires me and there's

632
00:34:30,300 --> 00:34:33,699
nothing better for men than
having man that inspires them

633
00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:37,800
that is the gift of life to be a
look at another man and say,

634
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:41,500
wow, this man, inspires me to
become more, what you want more

635
00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:43,500
to dream bigger or to love
myself more.

636
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,400
And we can all get together.
That's what brotherhood's about,

637
00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:48,199
right?
Like if we can have brothers to

638
00:34:48,199 --> 00:34:51,600
lean on say that this is my
brother and he inspires me to be

639
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,699
better, that's that's what we
need.

640
00:34:54,900 --> 00:34:58,000
And so there's this, you know,
long cycle in if we're better

641
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,400
for each other than we're better
for women, and we're better for

642
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:02,600
women and them become better for
me.

643
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:06,700
And then we just become this
Infinite Loop of becoming

644
00:35:06,700 --> 00:35:08,500
better.
And that's what human Humanities

645
00:35:08,500 --> 00:35:11,400
about is this Innovation.
We're creative beings there are

646
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:15,800
trying to get to this point of
Nirvana and maybe we never reach

647
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,700
it.
Maybe we never ever get there,

648
00:35:17,700 --> 00:35:22,000
but the journey to it, the the
quest of greatness, and

649
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,100
excellence, and peace, and love,
and happiness.

650
00:35:24,100 --> 00:35:27,200
All these things that are
Serene, that's what life is

651
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:28,500
about.
And it all starts with just

652
00:35:28,500 --> 00:35:31,500
understanding, hey, you have a
purpose, you have a see within

653
00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:34,800
you and just water it when the
other time, You'll get there

654
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,700
eventually, you know, and I love
her stressing, like judge

655
00:35:37,700 --> 00:35:40,200
everything by the fruits, not
the conditioning, and be willing

656
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,800
to look your environment and
conditions and watering and, and

657
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:46,200
make better choices.
Move yourself because, yeah, if

658
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:49,400
you're a to follow your
metaphors, if you're a cactus

659
00:35:49,900 --> 00:35:52,800
that somehow got planted in an
apple orchard, no matter how

660
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,000
many other trees and saying,
grow some fresh apples, give us

661
00:35:55,008 --> 00:35:56,600
some apples, get some apples
going kid.

662
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,800
It's not gonna happen and you'll
you trying to live by the

663
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:02,900
conditioning would make a for a
miserable experience.

664
00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:05,200
You want to judge yourself.
Elf like, I'm not making up

665
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,400
apples.
You like, and you're a cactus.

666
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,500
You can the best Cactus out
here, but you're around apples

667
00:36:10,500 --> 00:36:13,800
and it, maybe you're meant to be
a cactus among apples.

668
00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:16,900
You know, some of that is maybe
being being bold enough to be

669
00:36:16,900 --> 00:36:20,300
yourself, even when the world
around you is different, you

670
00:36:20,300 --> 00:36:24,200
know.
So so I want to get, get back to

671
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:28,300
focusing on masculinity as well.
So, what are some ways that one

672
00:36:28,300 --> 00:36:32,300
could begin to embrace their
authentic masculinity?

673
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:43,400
so, For me, I would say that
everything kind of starts.

674
00:36:44,700 --> 00:36:47,900
Doesn't really starts.
Its, we're all three or we can

675
00:36:47,900 --> 00:36:49,800
say, three different beings,
like the spiritual being, the

676
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:53,000
mental, being the physical
being, and they all aligned in

677
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,700
some ways.
One practical thing, I tell a

678
00:36:56,707 --> 00:37:00,000
lot of mean it's like, you got
to get up early.

679
00:37:01,300 --> 00:37:03,600
You got to rise early and their
science behind it.

680
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,700
You know, the female hormone
cycle follows the moon, it's 28

681
00:37:07,700 --> 00:37:12,000
days, they have their cycle, the
male hormone cycle follows the

682
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,200
Sun, and it's kind of goes with
the masculine energy mass and

683
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:20,300
energy is the Illusion.
In the sense, it's the

684
00:37:20,300 --> 00:37:22,200
enlightenment is, what has come
in two forms.

685
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,300
What's been revealed?
So we follow the Sun and makes

686
00:37:24,300 --> 00:37:29,800
sense every 24 hours or
homosexuals, you know, resets it

687
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,100
Peaks.
In the morning.

688
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,800
So, for most men, if you wake
up, I got, I don't have the

689
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,200
exact numbers on me.
It's in my book, The Divine

690
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:42,500
masculine handbook, and it talks
about there's times where you

691
00:37:42,500 --> 00:37:47,800
can ride that peak of
testosterone up, and I can't

692
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:53,400
really explain What it is.
Maybe someone can lose more time

693
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,400
different, who knows about?
You know, hormones are very,

694
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:59,900
very, you know, a student this
but there's an energy to that of

695
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:04,100
Waking up before your Peak and
experiencing the peak.

696
00:38:04,100 --> 00:38:06,300
And you can carry a little bit
of that with you versus waking

697
00:38:06,300 --> 00:38:08,500
up and you're on a Down's
downhill.

698
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:14,300
Like slide is also something
about The male ego in.

699
00:38:15,900 --> 00:38:21,900
Worthiness and if I don't know
if we can re-engineer it, right?

700
00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:25,300
And I'm a person who I don't
want to change, how things are

701
00:38:25,300 --> 00:38:27,100
our, just figure out how they
work and then just use the best

702
00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:29,100
of my ability, right?
We can try to re-engineer, man,

703
00:38:29,100 --> 00:38:31,600
but there's something to me in
about worthiness where it's like

704
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:36,400
I want underserved what I have.
I want to I want to earn my

705
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:37,600
keep.
That's the something men.

706
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:39,300
Have you can you can find the
richest man.

707
00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:40,700
The poorest man.
They were both agree.

708
00:38:40,700 --> 00:38:45,700
I want to earn my keep I'll ask
when I have to but I really want

709
00:38:45,700 --> 00:38:49,900
to earn my keep and so
discipline becomes.

710
00:38:49,900 --> 00:38:53,100
It's a weird thing.
I discipline becomes a self

711
00:38:53,100 --> 00:38:55,900
watering system when you really
tap into it at a different

712
00:38:55,900 --> 00:38:58,200
frequency where this not
discipline for.

713
00:38:58,900 --> 00:39:02,200
You know, it's not discipline as
a consequence.

714
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:06,300
It's a proactive discipline that
says I'm doing this to reward

715
00:39:06,300 --> 00:39:11,600
myself and to increase my own
self esteem, my own self image

716
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,200
because I'm doing something that
requires Buy some discipline

717
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:19,000
requires going a little bit
above and beyond and that's what

718
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,400
masculine he's about.
Was like extending that massive

719
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,000
energy a little bit further.
I was like, hey, you have to be

720
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:25,800
doing this podcast right now.
Why are you doing this?

721
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,800
You could just talk about this
with a couple friends and but

722
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:31,200
you're doing something that's
extending out further just just

723
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:34,300
enough just like whatever you
get from this podcast.

724
00:39:34,300 --> 00:39:36,300
Where were you, where ever your
brand grows into?

725
00:39:36,300 --> 00:39:39,700
It's like, you know, like I work
for this and there is a feeling

726
00:39:39,700 --> 00:39:43,000
that we can't really describe a
why you feel that way but you

727
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,500
know, No, you deserve to cuz you
know how much you put into it,

728
00:39:45,508 --> 00:39:47,300
you know, how much work, you
know, how much time, you know

729
00:39:47,300 --> 00:39:49,800
how much goes into it.
And so there's something for a

730
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,300
man when it comes to your masks
Linnaeus.

731
00:39:51,300 --> 00:39:54,500
Like, hey, what do you think it
would take for you deserve?

732
00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:56,000
It, it may be.
You're going to be wrong about

733
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:57,500
that.
What it is, but what do you

734
00:39:57,508 --> 00:40:01,100
think it would take for you to
feel like you deserve what you

735
00:40:01,100 --> 00:40:03,600
actually want Nick clear on what
you want and then what would you

736
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,500
take to deserve it?
Not just what you want in.

737
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:10,100
I want to go get the fastest way
but if you could earn it, what

738
00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:11,400
does that would?
That feel like?

739
00:40:11,700 --> 00:40:14,500
What would it take?
There's some pride. and in that

740
00:40:14,500 --> 00:40:18,800
process, The notion of
displaying the really hit me now

741
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,200
that sometimes kind of an hour
in our worst aspects.

742
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:25,600
Discipline seems like a
constraint, it's were being

743
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:28,700
punished but when itself chosen
discipline it does feed that

744
00:40:28,700 --> 00:40:31,800
expansion, you're talking about.
So I think that's how most

745
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:35,300
things are that again, based on
our mindset and framework, you

746
00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:37,800
know, it can feel restricting
and putting and put his gun.

747
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:41,100
Putting it back in that old man
box or is it really a tool that

748
00:40:41,100 --> 00:40:42,900
we can use to expand even
further?

749
00:40:42,900 --> 00:40:45,800
And I think that's true.
Then you mentioned worthiness a

750
00:40:45,808 --> 00:40:46,200
lot.
Yeah.

751
00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:49,800
A lot of it's a fear, a lot of
men have it that their theater.

752
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,700
So afraid to speak out loud, but
what sort of other fears do you

753
00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:55,900
see commonly in men, besides,
you know, questioning their

754
00:40:55,900 --> 00:40:58,300
worth of questioning their own
value?

755
00:41:01,500 --> 00:41:07,500
I think the process can be
daunting and I've experienced,

756
00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:09,800
I'm sure you've experienced it
this, when you were you in a

757
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:14,000
place where you're maybe having
the first awareness of what you

758
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:18,700
really want and maybe your for
the first time, you're aware of

759
00:41:18,700 --> 00:41:20,600
the environment you're in, is
not the environment you meant to

760
00:41:20,607 --> 00:41:22,900
be in other people.
You connected to you.

761
00:41:22,908 --> 00:41:25,400
Not meant to be connected to and
it's like it's a, it's a

762
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:29,200
Troublesome feeling.
It's Wow, I've done this all

763
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,300
wrong.
And how can I fix this?

764
00:41:31,300 --> 00:41:34,700
It's such a dark place.
You can you can put yourself in

765
00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:37,500
which is also, it can be a great
experience.

766
00:41:37,500 --> 00:41:40,100
Say wow.
I'm I'm aware enough to know

767
00:41:40,100 --> 00:41:42,600
that this isn't for me.
That's a great place to be in.

768
00:41:43,700 --> 00:41:46,800
And then it's just about forging
that path forward and say, what

769
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:50,300
do I want moving forward?
So that fear of being caught in

770
00:41:50,300 --> 00:41:54,200
your process, right?
That's just part of the, the

771
00:41:54,800 --> 00:42:00,400
male insecurity because we're
based on externalizing things.

772
00:42:00,500 --> 00:42:03,600
So we don't want to be caught in
the middle of cooking the meal

773
00:42:03,700 --> 00:42:06,100
like up, don't look yet, it's
not done, right?

774
00:42:06,100 --> 00:42:09,300
Like I'm not, I'm not finished
yet, but the beauty of manhood

775
00:42:09,300 --> 00:42:11,500
said you're never finished,
right?

776
00:42:11,500 --> 00:42:13,600
Like, we're always going to be
craving all thing to be Be

777
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:17,600
growing and expanding its like,
never be ashamed of where you're

778
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,700
growing into never be ashamed of
what you're stepping into next

779
00:42:20,700 --> 00:42:24,300
and ever be a shame to let
someone see you working steam.

780
00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:26,700
So you progress.
Yeah, if you're caught, if

781
00:42:26,700 --> 00:42:29,400
you're caught mixing up your
recipe, is that it's like a fear

782
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:30,700
of judgment.
But, no, I'm not done.

783
00:42:30,700 --> 00:42:32,800
Don't judge me yet.
I'm still in process.

784
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,800
There are some people, this is
the beauty and I've experienced

785
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:41,500
in my own life is just there.
They're so much like juice in

786
00:42:41,500 --> 00:42:44,600
this, like simple truth of just
like, embracing your process as

787
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:48,200
a man is the key because that's
the masculine feminine balance,

788
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,500
right?
Because we're this 24-hour clock

789
00:42:50,700 --> 00:42:52,100
that keeps going around day by
day.

790
00:42:52,100 --> 00:42:55,100
And so that's what brings the
insecurity.

791
00:42:55,100 --> 00:42:59,800
But the insecurity is what has
that's what has made men,

792
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:02,700
protection providers over time
over time because we have to be

793
00:43:02,700 --> 00:43:05,800
insecure Sure about is their
safety, is their provision, if

794
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,500
there's enough of this so that
insecurity drives us out to be

795
00:43:09,900 --> 00:43:12,500
this more masculine friend
because I have to go find

796
00:43:12,500 --> 00:43:15,000
security.
You know, I have to go develop

797
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:18,000
into something secure and
stable, not only for myself and

798
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:21,000
that starts, you know, material
things but food shelter.

799
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:25,400
Everybody expands out, like I
said, to creativity, to dreams,

800
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:29,600
like to impact, to connections
to love to family.

801
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:33,800
And if you can allow that
process, You know, that feminine

802
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:36,300
process that takes time.
If you can get in tune with that

803
00:43:36,300 --> 00:43:38,900
process of like hey this is
going to take time.

804
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:44,100
And I don't want to judge myself
based on my process of where I'm

805
00:43:44,100 --> 00:43:46,500
going to get into.
I have to be okay with where I

806
00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:49,600
am and also like that.
That's why the disciplines

807
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:54,300
reward because the process is
going to be the process but you

808
00:43:54,308 --> 00:43:57,400
can beat yourself up in the
process so much that you don't

809
00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,400
get to the reward.
But the discipline part of that

810
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,900
is like every single day.
I did something that moving

811
00:44:03,900 --> 00:44:08,400
forward that is the reward that
it's not the end, it's in the

812
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,000
middle of that family.
Eminent process.

813
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,200
You were establishing masculine
presence.

814
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,300
Each step of the way of saying
I'm disciplined.

815
00:44:14,300 --> 00:44:16,600
I'm focused.
I'm sacrificing, I'm moving

816
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,600
forward, I'm making adjustments.
If someone sees me getting

817
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,300
better, that's good for them.
Maybe it's inspires them.

818
00:44:22,300 --> 00:44:24,700
Maybe they want to help me, or
maybe I want to help them like

819
00:44:24,900 --> 00:44:29,000
that creates new life.
And so that's never be ashamed

820
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:33,200
of where you are because it can
change any anyone situation can

821
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:37,100
change?
Within a year within five years

822
00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:40,400
for sure, within 10 years,
without question of a doubt.

823
00:44:41,100 --> 00:44:45,300
So it's just a matter of hey,
love the processor and find out

824
00:44:45,300 --> 00:44:46,200
what their process is.
Right?

825
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,500
Because we want the goal, but we
have to figure out what do you

826
00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:53,100
have to do day by day to make
that happen and just like a time

827
00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:54,800
management?
Productivity thing because you

828
00:44:54,808 --> 00:44:58,100
know, pressure be part of
manhood as well as that early

829
00:44:58,100 --> 00:45:01,900
Rising thing that rise again to
your masculine energy rising to

830
00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:06,900
that testosterone, it gives More
time, there's more time in the

831
00:45:06,900 --> 00:45:09,000
beginning of the day, the, at
the end because the brain hasn't

832
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,100
made me decisions, there's more
clarity more focused.

833
00:45:11,100 --> 00:45:13,600
It's not many people moving
around things happening.

834
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:18,300
So it's just a quick tip.
If like if if you wake up at 6

835
00:45:18,500 --> 00:45:23,800
a.m. try 5:00 a.m. try for you
wake up at 8, a.m. try six, get

836
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:25,100
a couple extra hours and do
something.

837
00:45:25,100 --> 00:45:26,500
That's very, very important to
you.

838
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:31,500
Thanks, we've done is very, very
important using discipline and

839
00:45:31,500 --> 00:45:34,300
structure which can feel
limiting, but you use it to

840
00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:36,700
enhance your creativity in your
progression.

841
00:45:37,900 --> 00:45:39,900
It's going to feel good.
You got a car in this.

842
00:45:39,900 --> 00:45:42,500
I got up today and I knocked
that thing out.

843
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:46,100
Now, you rest of your day B uu
test runs going down but you're

844
00:45:46,100 --> 00:45:48,400
actually feeling good.
So I got that thing done, I

845
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,100
finished that thing I was
supposed to do, and if your

846
00:45:51,100 --> 00:45:52,800
author start writing your book
in the morning.

847
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:57,100
If you're a videographer start
editing, your videos are content

848
00:45:57,100 --> 00:45:59,200
creator.
Get up in the morning edited

849
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:01,000
video, you want to edit and get
that done.

850
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,000
First thing in the morning now
the rest of your days like oh,

851
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:06,100
wow, everyone today, it's like
get a win under your belt as

852
00:46:06,100 --> 00:46:09,500
fast as you can and then Going
to feel like a winner, right?

853
00:46:09,500 --> 00:46:11,800
Do that another dimension?
Yeah.

854
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:15,500
And enjoy your own fruits of
that that self satisfaction and

855
00:46:15,500 --> 00:46:18,400
fulfillment at the result of
your creation and your action.

856
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,300
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy
at that point, like every day,

857
00:46:21,300 --> 00:46:23,600
I'm a winner.
Every time, a winner, no matter

858
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,300
where I am in my process, I won
today.

859
00:46:26,700 --> 00:46:29,500
So, if you see me today, I'm not
a shame that I'm still cooking

860
00:46:29,500 --> 00:46:31,400
but I got them.
I got the ingredients together

861
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:32,400
today.
I put them on.

862
00:46:32,700 --> 00:46:33,900
I got a mixed up and I'm
tomorrow.

863
00:46:33,900 --> 00:46:37,500
Want to put in the oven, but
just everyday, get a win.

864
00:46:37,900 --> 00:46:39,500
You know, get it.
Get a quick win.

865
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:43,800
It's like cheating.
If it's it's an easy.

866
00:46:45,100 --> 00:46:48,800
Like brain chemistry thing just
sets you up for Success because

867
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,400
you're training yourself to see
yourself as this person who's

868
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:52,400
winning.
You're in the process of

869
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:56,100
becoming You want to become it,
right?

870
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,100
Yeah, I know I've often had the
experience of the goal of the

871
00:46:59,107 --> 00:47:00,700
person I want to be is so far
away.

872
00:47:00,700 --> 00:47:02,600
And I'm only looking at that end
result and I'm like, oh I can

873
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:04,700
never get there.
But if I focus on what can, what

874
00:47:04,700 --> 00:47:05,700
can I do today?
Do get it.

875
00:47:05,700 --> 00:47:07,500
But now we're early.
What what positive thing can I

876
00:47:07,500 --> 00:47:10,500
do today to get me closer?
And when we focus on that, just

877
00:47:10,500 --> 00:47:14,500
those small incremental steps
towards our own success, we feel

878
00:47:14,500 --> 00:47:16,300
that level of success, we feel
it.

879
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:20,000
And it compounds is sometimes.
The thing we think is so far

880
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:24,100
away is only a matter of
Consecutive work, right?

881
00:47:24,100 --> 00:47:26,600
Like it may seem like it's 100
days away and it could be 100

882
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:29,400
the way for the average person.
But if you do for three days in

883
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:30,600
a row, you may get there.
Faster.

884
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:34,600
Yeah, and it's forever away if
you take no action about it it's

885
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:35,400
always a way.
Yeah.

886
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:39,400
Yeah.
So it's it's closer each day or

887
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:43,100
its infinite forever depending
on what you do, which one do you

888
00:47:43,100 --> 00:47:44,400
want to pick?
Yeah.

889
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,500
Awesome.
So Malika I love this

890
00:47:46,500 --> 00:47:48,900
conversation when we're looking
at the talked again, more.

891
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:51,800
But what's the best way for
people to learn more about Out

892
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:56,000
you and connect with you.
I'm on Instagram, YouTube.

893
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,100
Facebook at Jay, Malik taught
me.

894
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:03,200
I'm posting on there all the
time posting stories live

895
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,000
streams.
You can find me on there.

896
00:48:06,500 --> 00:48:08,900
I'm trying to be interactive as
I can with people of this.

897
00:48:10,100 --> 00:48:12,800
That shared web experience with
a mostly.

898
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:18,100
What I see, you know, try to
give a kind of a reflection of

899
00:48:18,100 --> 00:48:20,300
what's happening in the world
and how that applies to the

900
00:48:20,300 --> 00:48:22,400
everyday life and try to bring
it back to the spiritual

901
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,400
principle of, there are things
going on the life.

902
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,300
This is why this is going on.
And if you separate yourself

903
00:48:27,300 --> 00:48:29,600
from this and understand learn
from it, learn from what's

904
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:33,100
Happening out here, learn from
everything is here to learning

905
00:48:33,100 --> 00:48:35,900
experience, the learning tool,
even the bad things we talked

906
00:48:35,900 --> 00:48:38,200
about were just so like many.
We're doing this, like we're

907
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:39,500
worth.
It's part of our evolution.

908
00:48:39,900 --> 00:48:42,200
Be problems we have to solve and
it's like, okay, this is going

909
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:44,500
on because of this and what can
I learn from this personally?

910
00:48:44,500 --> 00:48:46,100
So I can apply this my own
personal life.

911
00:48:46,100 --> 00:48:50,500
So they're catch me on
Instagram, mostly YouTube at

912
00:48:50,500 --> 00:48:54,500
Jamie, Lee taught me and you
know, we also catch up.

913
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:56,400
Cool.
Well, thanks for talking to us

914
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:59,100
today, Malik and thanks again
for joining us listening in.

915
00:48:59,300 --> 00:49:01,000
Please visit real men, feel
dot-org.

916
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,500
See the blog post for this
episode?

917
00:49:02,500 --> 00:49:04,900
We'll have all the various links
and resources that we discussed

918
00:49:05,500 --> 00:49:07,500
wherever you're discovering real
and feel, Please, Subscribe,

919
00:49:07,500 --> 00:49:09,700
follow, like, share, comment and
share this episode.

920
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,200
So was someone that was, you
know, would get some value from

921
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:13,700
it.
You can always reach out to me

922
00:49:13,700 --> 00:49:16,200
at real men.
Feel at gmail.com, always glad

923
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:19,500
to hear from you.
And until next time, be good to

924
00:49:19,508 --> 00:49:11,100
yourself.
So was someone that was, you

925
00:49:11,100 --> 00:49:12,500
know, would get some value from
it.

926
00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:14,400
You can always reach out to me
at real men.

927
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,800
Feel at gmail.com, always glad
to hear from you.

928
00:49:17,300 --> 00:49:20,100
And until next time, be good to
yourself.