Men Stepping Into Their Masculinity | Exploring Our Spirituality

0:01 Hello and welcome to real men. Feel, this is your host author, coach and healer. And he Grant, you can visit v&e Grant.com to learn more about me room and feel exist to remind men that they are human and have the right to experience and express all of their emotions. We have the conversations that most men are not having but that all men can benefit from knowing hear from many men that the last few years they feel like masculinity is under attack in some way. They're not sure how to act. They don't know what's expected of them anymore and sometimes, These men feel like being a man is somehow wrong. Let's do we can do about that today. My guest is Jay Malik, he's an American spiritual teacher author and speaker, who emphasizes the importance of spiritual alignment for our careers relationships and finances.

0:45 His mission is to empower men and women who develop healthy and prosperous relationships. Malik has a knack for addressing the heart of relationship, Dynamic for this insight, and intuition, his personal journey of Spiritual Development, inspired him to share his insights as a Mystic. Eric and he teaches others, the science and math of spirituality that is often lost in modern religion, welcome to real. And feel Malik, thank you for having me. I'm ready to get it down to the Meat potatoes, awesome. So I really want to ask have you always been interested in spirituality and mystical subjects? Yes, always like intrigues me, I think more than anything, it's seeing real world problems and then looking at the root of those problems and and saying like, hmm.

1:32 That's not a surface level solution, you can find for that. There's a deep spiritual root to that's always kind of see problems. And I say hmm, the answer today is spiritual was not Material. We have to get that spiritual root to even address the surface up with things. So and is that true for every problem? Virtually. I mean I haven't I haven't come across any like a human problem. That doesn't get at some point to the root of spirituality. Even, it's just from a sense of morality or motivation. Inspirational words that come from and there's something always balancing between like what is our spirit moving us to do? So it's what I'm saying at least in my experience with people is just like, there's something in the spiritual place that may be blocking or hindering that that for progression.

2:22 So tell me a bit about your upbringing, were you raised in a very spiritually aware environment? My family is like super spiritual, I have different religions in my family grew up like reading a lot of different material. As I got older. I started exploring and ventured off into different religious and I probably stayed over 100 different religions by the time I was 22 and just really just diving into trying to find what is the common root? What's the common ground? We can all find and hold. And why do we continue creating these ideas about the spiritual with the infinite.

3:05 Like there's something to this that hasn't stopped since human as Humanity have started. It's still happening. Now we're trying to find this deeper meaning. Again it's always compelled me. So I've had support in that because my coming so spiritual but also just like able to walk my own walk-in really kind of find quote-unquote answers for myself and then seeing that in the the real world and kind of share those same things with others. Do you think it is possible for a man to really connect a known his masculinity without also connecting and owning his spirituality? I think it's very, very difficult and it's interesting because I know atheist, right?

3:50 And they don't consider themselves as collect something deeper or in a spiritual aspect, but I would And those conversation to describe it. It's very much, a esoteric principle of like their intrinsic motivations. It's not just a logical basting where it's there. Something internal within all of us and what do we call it spirituality? Whether you call it inspiration, whether we call it, your inner being, whatever it is, there something to a man that his masculinity driving him? What something is driving you beyond just your material needs because If that was the case, all men would just stop there.

4:34 Who just stop it. We're have enough to eat. We have enough shelter, but there's something about us to have the creative spirit. That says, it's time to innovate time to create. It's time to build and I think it's hard to be at a high level without being connected to the intrinsic value of yourself. Right? I get that. So yeah, if we were just this bag of Flesh and there was no other Force besides us then, yeah, we'd there. And eventually they'd be enough. We wouldn't people would be always searching for more or Y or try to understand things. And from my own experience. So when I was younger, I was, I was not raised in a house with any sort of religion, so I thought that made me an atheist and then I often thought that. And but so I've come to realize that yeah. Regardless of your belief, it doesn't change the fact that you are a spiritual being.

5:18 Yeah. Yeah, cool. That's, that's interesting to see if they'd like they're so much about theism that there's so many ideologies across the board as far as monotheism polytheism pantheism pain in theism there. It's all still trying to find this common thing that we can connect. You is says there. Something that has a higher energy or a higher intelligence or a higher influence than the individual human. I think for the most part everyone agrees with that, right? Even if someone who was like, Atheist names, like a stew science. Like, well there's some scientific Force that's happening beyond your control.

5:58 And so it's we all can recognize this energy that's beyond us and I like working with the simple things as far as we can. All agree on that thing. We all can't believe the same thing that what you tell yourself about that? We're stories. You have about that chicks playing it. That's everyone's perogative, right? That's just part of the human story to create stories to understand things. But if we all understand in the feeling of being driven by something Beyond us, that's that's what's most important. Yeah, I keep finding that, especially quantum physics science in general is catching up with spirituality keeps proving more and more and No, the best scientists realizes that they don't know everything and so science keeps expanding learning more. And yeah, I just be a catching up as opposed to uh so people that say oh he's to be proven by science like well, great, if you can wait a few hundred years to have all you want to believe proven or you can just accept it or, you know, some people like well you know what, if the spiritual aspect was true, would that change how you live day to day? Yeah, yeah.

7:01 That's I'd like that thing of like science catching up this bridge. I think spirituality of science that has yet to be explained. Mmm, all the spiritual energy, we talk about metaphysics and how wife is formed? They need. It's interesting how the scientific world is. It's a mirror. You know, it's like the esoteric and exoteric coming into form at the same time, then we have this new Enlightenment and all of a sudden you also have new things and engineering technology. Any time in history. Look at you. Look back. When there was a A great Spurt of spirituality or new Consciousness to the to the people, there was always new advances scientifically or technology-based and when that same space now we're introducing Quantum Computing, and AI intelligence and machine learning. All these things are coming in a form and they're here to help facilitate the new spiritual energy is going to be understood maybe in 100 200, 500 years.

7:58 But to your point it's already here is already true. This we had to have the science to understand it which may check us you know. A lagging indicator behind what actually true spiritually, which is why we have to have faith because we're given things that you can't yet understand. So it's just like, hey you can accept it or reject this but it's more easy. You just take it in now and let the science play out because it will but just a matter of time, you know? Yeah, I love that. I've never heard of that. That term lagging indicators pair. Yeah humanity is a lagging indicator to the kind of the big picture, it seems but hopefully that even that as You know, as the rate of change and Technology keeps speeding up fast and faster. Hopefully, our Awakening and our awareness, our Consciousness is doing the same That's, that's the Gap, right?

8:44 Yeah. What are some specific things that that you see keeping men from embracing their masculinity and kind of who they truly are? That's a tough one. That's a big one on a collective level. I would say We have this. Lacking energy behind of the last 50 years. Last 100 years. Like, stepping into adulthood as we mad. You don't necessarily consciously know that you're absorbing so much energy that has nothing to do with you. You're observing culture. That's been formed as you were getting older, you just you get thrusted into it.

9:29 For the last 100 years, we've had a real Dynamic chain between masculine and feminine men, and women, gender roles, gender, identity. All these things are kind of Becoming less stable more fluid and there's questions around things, there's people wanting to destroy some aspects of some things. There's a lot of confusion. We're not going to great gray area right now. And so if you were a young man who's being born to the society and versus maybe a hundred years ago where What was expected of you as a man was very, very much told you, it's like, this will be expect of you. We're going to prepare you for this. So when you get of age, you understand what you have to do and move forward.

10:16 Now because of the cultural shifts their culture dynamics, that have happened that almost say like, hey, we don't really need men. Are we don't want men to be any situation, we want, women should have more power and we can say that's all fine and dandy. The issue is, when it comes to You know. Partnering up or are choosing a mate. There are still things that are Primal like wire and women to want certain aspects of masculinity. And there are certain aspects of men who look for certain aspects of femininity. And if you don't prepare men, You put them in situations where there are prepared in mating and that is causing so much friction to the gender identity and gender roles.

11:05 And so you still have some of the base, things, like sex food, like our Primal, neither still there. So I'm unprepared, I still have the same Primal needs. And I have a culture that is becoming more sexually liberated or in exclusive. Then you thrust me into a sexual marketplace, where sex is a coping mechanism and that just goes down another Rabbit Hole of like, okay, well, this is, you know, the base of manhood is, is fatherhood, you know, essentially like fatherhood is essentially being a husband, a father, the The two most important job that man has.

11:49 And then if we're not prepared for those things then it's not that, it's not only that you're not prepared for fatherhood or to be a husband, it's that the lack of preparation leads you, to other things that you would normally be doing if you were preparing for husbandry and fatherhood. So it leads to addictions, and, and dark vices, and just a dark Road. And by the time, someone can, maybe try to figure out their path or their way, There are so many men who are being displaced, not just financially but mentally emotionally because then life gets harder, you know, like this and get easier, the more burdens we get. And so manhood is a burden that is you know, meant to be a journey that you're climbing and you're getting better and getting better but the burden doesn't stop if you're not getting better. So there are a lot of men who are facing more burden and they haven't gotten better and they haven't been trained how to get better.

12:44 So it's like and then but they're hearing from people. People from women and other men as well, like, hey, you gotta get better and like no one ever taught me how to get better. How do I know how if, no one ever told me? And I all I've heard growing up is, we don't need men to do this. You'll need me to do this and I brought with me, do everything. I don't understand why I'm confused. I'm lost, doesn't make sense. A lot of men are struggling with that. Like what do you want from me kind of thing, right? Yeah, and this culture we don't have any sort of initiation so we have all sorts of children in adult bodies. Units really to the detriment of all of us but talking about how it, you know, Pat prior Generations. It was very clear. Men were told what was expected and it was this really narrow container often I've ever been called a called, you know, the man box and as we grow up and want to even men to want to push those walls down and be more.

13:35 And I don't want to just be stoic. I don't want to keep everything inside of me. I don't want to just be. I'm the breadwinner. And that's all so many traditional male jobs are being on the Frontline for traumas. And for troubles and it's almost as if men were considered more disposable than women. Yes. So I think that falling away is great, but and what it means is that, that man box, word means be man keeps growing and growing getting wider. And to me it doesn't mean that the old roles aren't wrong anymore that you're just more than that. Yeah but I think some of the the confusion the Distortion is so it's not it's not right to be a strong silent man. It's not right to be the chief Breadwinner like no, it's fine, but you're more. Within that.

14:17 Yeah, it's expansion Exodia. It's and it's also to a point and I hope it's a lot. It's just that we live in a different time period as well. Like the things that men had to do work for that time period, is that? Anyway, they're going to be things that we have to do even like right now as like a more Tech based society, there are still so much infrastructure that's going to be built in the next 100 years that the men of Tomorrow will not have to worry about both because we built it technology but we're in the space to build that because there are so much interest already built and other areas that we will have to do where this farm land, whether it's Logistics systems, all these things are set up, every generation of men set up some kind of foundation for the next and you know, they're some of those old traditional roles are tied to things of the previous, you know, foundation and some of those things translate over.

15:11 But a lot of things that men have to do 200 years ago. We have to worry about now. So you have to find new ways to use your masculine energy and to create and to innovate and to build and to your point, I can assist expansion, but it's still expanding beyond the definition, but understanding the dynamic between the energy to think it's where we're losing, and because there are women who are seven, figure earners six-figure earners. And guess what? Those women typically still want the same dynamic, because it's it feels, right? They They're not typically looking forward to be the domineering Forest. It's just, that's a Culturally is kind of pushed and some of them accepted because they feel like that but it's hey there, a lot of men being displaced and seeing that.

16:01 Hey, you're not good for anything else we're gonna throw you in front of this, you know, whatever. Physical labor and you die alone. You die alone. That's fine. And there are men who are brilliant thinkers, brilliant artist, brilliant creators. there are not fulfilling their potential, or their dreams even because One box doesn't work for them. They weren't trained for in the other box. Doesn't feel tangible enough. So you have to go do this thing that everyone it's like, they're, they're kind of like this is the thing that can kind of contain my manhood, but there's so much more to me and I think this is what caused the depression amongst men suicide rates among men. All these things are pressing issues that don't really get, you know, the proper recognition that it needs to because Society is changing.

16:57 It's like well boohoo you were man. You got all this privilege. All this power. It's like what privileges had to be discarded. Like like nothing. And then, you know, like it's a very weird thing that's happening. I think we're slowly shifting away from I think as Things become more obvious and this generation of women are kind of seeing, like, wait a minute, something isn't working. So we're in that period of transition to wear We're not the old generation that begun feminism. I always tell women today. Even if I cure 50s, like when family is my started, you were probably not born.

17:38 It's like no one here, had like no one alive today. Most like most of us who are alive. Today had nothing to do with the start or the evolution of feminism. We were all born into either. Third, fourth wave, feminism, and then just adopting the And they go. And so the problem with adopting narrative, you know, from a psychological standpoint is you don't get a chance to challenge them or to test them and everything has to be stress tested and I pulled the research, you look at the data between the last 50 years or 60 years to now, everything that you would expect for a liberated woman Society to be better at where Works in single motherhood, is up multiple multi-partner.

18:22 Fertility is up, the mother amount of Of women who are contributing 50% or more of the income to the household is up. So it's like all this Liberation and the family unit is actually degrading. Divorce rates are up so what is getting better from this? Looks like it's not the fact that women having rights or women having this is wrong, that's not have nothing to do with it. The thing is the energy input in how we are constructing The Narrative of That boy is a boy until he becomes a man. Then he's bad. But many he becomes an adult, then he's bad. And it's like it starts. It's a gradual process at 5uq at 10.

19:06 It's like, okay, at 15, you were threat. And as you get older and older and older, you're you're less likely to be supported or nurtured any kind of way. And so what happens when you have a generation of men who have been unsupported under the nurtured and undertrained Did any get blamed for a coach or they didn't create it. So it's like a very, very it's difficult for a man, whose. And if that man doesn't have a father or male role models in his life, how does he find? Helping this is great. We have platforms like this that can take. This is we're human. Like me and are human. We do have a boat. Since we do have aspiration Visions, we have things we want to do with accomplish and see but and it's important the same Always important for women to be empowered and women to know they can expand.

19:57 It's important for men to have that to and does it, you know, you can't blame the men of today for the minimum thousand years ago. And if there's so much trauma to that hasn't been healed properly, that's like, oh, you have all these private room and it's like being a man, it's hard. I don't know who told you, it wasn't, but being a man is pretty difficult. You know, brick is difficult. But being a man, is it still has his own It sounds dope same way. Being one has its own set of challenges. Yeah, I see lots of women who are successful especially in business or Finance. They often they could they take on lot of masculine energy and often celebs of stored energy. So they will build off me called a bitch and the job because they trying to be the aggressive leadership of a man and you know, there that that story figures, so they're quiet. They're not asking for help.

20:48 They trying to, you know, they're acting like they got everything figured out like is the greatest mask that men have worn for Generations. Like Like no problem here. Leave me alone, right? And so, but there's still that that time. I decided still exists. When relationship, they really still do want to be supported being taken care of and, and men want that too. But it's always been so much shame for you to say like, I'm struggling often say that the bravest thing you can do sometimes is to ask for help on her ability. Now hopefully that's more open and, you know, men can actually be rewarded for asking for support and support each other and get support from women. But yeah, it's all very A nuanced and I said, everything is goes by pendulum swings. Yes, we've had like you know, masking being called toxic and no and now we're swinging the other way.

21:32 And hopefully there's a selling point where everyone can just just be and the labels and definition, just all fun. We're just let everything be nice and nebulous just are like, are you a happy content human being great like that. That's that be the goal that that's my goal for all of our goals for our lagging. Indicators did lead to happiness. It's It's up with resistance, you know, about the strong woman, I call it pink, masculinity, you know, because women do mimic masculinity in certain spaces. You talk to that woman behind closed doors, that's not how that woman. I've talked to countless businesswomen, I've coached in my mentor them and some of them feel like they have to have some things in a forward-facing away, that's master.

22:15 I think, even that's starting to change where it's like, hey women can be women in certain spaces and create a feminist. the aspect to that, but No one wants to hold that masculine frame. And and it's Certain spaces were created with certain energies and if we realized that, hey, we can all create our own space within her like within ourselves. If we understand that process, which goes back to why go back to the spiritual thing, right? It's like, it's not a, even a man woman is, she was just, like, everyone is got to heal, and be aware of like the conditioning. Because there is a levels of healing because there's personal healing, but if my personal healing conflict with the collective healing, and I don't know how to differentiate between the conditioning of the collective. My own condition.

23:01 Excuse me, there's going to be some conflict, because I think I'm Healed, but I'm also aligning myself to Collective trauma, this Collective narrative. And that's what I've talked about. The timing more recently about tribalism and the identity and group identity becoming so pervasive in today's society. And it's I think it's a dying ideology to have group identity because it really is a A lack of better word like to be a slave to who you think you are. And it's like to be a slave by group definition like we're both men, but we're both our own individuals and we can speak to common things for men, but it's also part of that is you you get that.

23:50 Not right. But you get the Integrity of that when you're speaking from your personhood and you know who you are outside of this Collective. So outside of collective of men or race or generation or country, or city or whatever it is religion who you are, wipe away all those things, that's what matters the most. And as long as there is, this Collective. It's easy to people, say divide and conquer. That's not what's really happening. Happening is unifying conquer if I can unify groups and make them fight against each other. That's not divide and conquer. I'm actually putting you together in conquering you because I can control each group with the message.

24:30 So I can put men against women, this against that, and this is just this. So, it's The separation is actually finding herself Within These constructs of who we think we are. Well, there's racial whether it's gender, whether it's sexualities like that doesn't make you who you are, who you are, is who you are, without any of those things. And those things are just extra their extra and that's part of the, you know, that's the healing process you know, from from a top-down level. It's like you are not who society says you were, or you are not a woman. You're not a man, like, you are your own being and you are part of this group. Sure. And there are things that you may identify with it, another group may not identify with, but that just makes you unique and your own right, doesn't make the other group wrong. And I think, when we can get to that point, where we really embrace the individual life, your uniqueness, and who you are as an individual.

25:26 A lot of this thing's will just kind of flow because everyone will go into their path. That works for them because there's there may be some women who want a more feminine partner makes a man who wanted more masculine partner that Work perfectly for them to have no conflict whatsoever but for most people that may not work, but it's like you can't find what works for you if you're not really identify who you are and your inner being and your path. So that's why I'm passing about the spiritual aspect of it because it's like, hey, we get the spiritual stuff, right? So much of this stuff is clean yourself up. It's like oh it's not a real issue anymore, that's not even actually a problem. It's like I was just thinking about that wrong because this Collective thing is so overpowering, it so overbearing because that's how we learn about the World, we're literally condition because the happier word, or less native conscious encountered. The word is is learning for conditioning. So conditioning is the same thing as learning, so we learn about the world and we assume that will be learned. It's not the same thing as conditioning with. So conditioning, it's bad at learning is good, but some things you learn are actually bad. Something you can just do, is actually good. So you have to decipher these things of. What if I learn about the world, all I learned about history. Learn about slavery.

26:37 I learn about feminism. I learn about all these different aspects that give me an idea about who I am in the world. But those things were the past. You learn about the past to understand somewhat about how the words operate today, but it's not the same because you're not in the past, or in the now and there's so much freedom and understanding and separate yourself from the trauma of the past and understanding how that creeps up with you because we're all learning the same stuff. It's traumatic. Digoxin, trembles still Brewing because we're learning it. Nothing wrong with learning about things, but you have to learn how to separate yourself from the learning, that's how you operate in your own alignment.

27:17 You can be conditioned with anything. All of us are conditioned, you know, based on where we live, and where we're from the coach, we have the parents, we have the parents. They had, we're nothing really more than a long line of conditioning. And to free the selfish really should say, hey, you know what, I am more than what I've learned. I'm more than what the ego identifies, as I can be more than this. And to be more, it's like to really be less. It's like to not try to be anything to not, try to fit into your own little box and the minute you stop trying to fit into your own little box. You become yourself. You like wait a minute, this is who I am. And there's no more. Yeah there's a lot of here want to try to unpack a little bit more so be I greet the the problem with so many different groups and identities and labels it just makes more Us and Them and we need to be. We and like I'm sure you agree.

28:08 Like one of the great spiritual foundations and everything is that we're all one. Yeah, we're truly one energy. And I believe, you know, we're all God in physical form having individuated experiences of this Mass Collective energy. Yeah. And You also mentioned ego and I recently heard a great definition for the ego that I hope I can remember clearly, but I think was Marianne Williamson. I heard in her lectures say that the ego is our self hatred masquerading as our best friend. Hmm. That's deep. Yeah. I like I've never heard a phrase that way, that, that really that made that really pop made me pause, like just did for you, besides us all being one, what are some just spiritual truths that that you've experienced and found to be true that you wish more people knew? Hmm. for a core principle that is just crystallized is always its present and it can be taken the wrong way because I will learn about a third in words, but the purpose of life is success, and success is the Fulfillment of an aim or purpose.

29:28 So, the same way that an apple seed, if I planted the purpose of the Appleseed is to what become an apple tree and grow apples. So it will be successful in being an apple seed. If it bears fruit and become the Apple, that same analogy, Applies to an acorn and acorns. Now the Apple C but they both can be successful in what they're here to do. And deliver the same way, Apple C or an acorn or a cactus they all have their own DNA. Us being this, the Oneness and separation not going to that. But we're this separate Oneness with our own unique spiritual DNA, or we're own little fingerprint on here.

30:08 On Earth, we have our own little footprint that we leave you behind and everyone has a purpose or a name within their spiritual DNA that says, hey, if you water this enough, you will bear fruit. What's your here to become? And we're not always aware of what that actually is in the long term, but it's a feeling process. We feel Ourselves into it, we align ourselves into that and no matter where we are in life, whether you're up with your down with your sideways. When you're upside down inside out, there's always a path leading you to that ultimate success for you, the ultimate purpose and fulfillment and things that make you feel alive. They remind you that you're alive to remind you, you are here, having a human experience. That's unique to like, no other. And aspiring to be that or walking that path is just takes one the awareness and saying, hey, there's something more for me.

30:58 There's something here for me to bear fruit because I'm here for a reason and this time period and this Universe for a reason and as we walk into alignment and we get into, you know, with meditation and prayer, journaling, whatever technology you use That's the purpose of life. So then the next course of action is understand that there are conditions, right? I want to grow a cactus. I have to water it and treat it differently. I do I'm going to grow an apple tree so your own personal inner seizure, own sperm DNA. Has to be cultivated by the right people the right environment throughout energies. So part of your life, part of your responsibility to your life understanding, are you being water properly?

31:42 Are you in the right environment? You in the right soil, and if you're not Not there's a there's an opportunity and you have that right? To say, hey I don't belong in this environment. I belong as somewhere else with it feels aligned and or you practice this and you start saying no to things that aren't fulfilling to you just naturally find your way. And the irony of that is there are so many spiritual doctrines, religions and text it all kind of point to this ultimate truth. They just, they give you the rules that can maybe help you avoid some situations And they're all trying to say, hey if you just avoid this, you'll probably have better for you if you avoid doing this or avoid doing that and but that's it.

32:25 It's just everything is about you. Watering your seat and you being able to watch your flowers bloom, watch the fruit that you bear and then I mean in some analogy, right? That becomes your children and your family and you start to your children and you want your children to bear fruit, if you want to watch that blossoming that becomes an a different experience of watching life. If that's come through you live and create life, that just a surreal experience. Say well, wait a minute. I'm watching life unfold from me. And you are now becoming a part of this Creator, Consciousness, you are almost taking on that, you know, microcosm of God watching his creation on Earth and you're watching it Blossom you watching what comes from you?

33:08 And we're all a part of this long chain into thing. What we talked about the conditioning field can be, you know, Deep so can the alignment folk in the love. So can the purpose? And we're just, we're just picking and maybe we don't get to pick one of the other. Maybe we always do a little bit of both, right? But it's like we can do a little bit more alignment. Little bit more peaceful bit, more love, and a little bit less trauma. Less fear is less, doubtful that criticism. You know, less hatred. We get to a place where people can live their life. They're here to live without restriction. And everything will flow into proper space now that can get very utopian, very quickly, but it's just, it's a difficult path as well, you know, because some things you want to do require discipline or require study or require long hours of practice requires sacrifice. And so, part of you that you want to become as we require a shift or something different than you're currently doing now because it's challenging you to, hey, you're better than this. You can become an evolved version of yourself, and that's going to create a ripple effect.

34:13 For generations. And as men is saying, there's something in you that can be iconic. There's something in you that you may not even be the, I kind of figured but maybe your grandson, who sees what you did and say, wow, Granddad did this. I'm going to take it to a different level. This is inspires me and there's nothing better for men than having man that inspires them that is the gift of life to be a look at another man and say, wow, this man, inspires me to become more, what you want more to dream bigger or to love myself more. And we can all get together. That's what brotherhood's about, right? Like if we can have brothers to lean on say that this is my brother and he inspires me to be better, that's that's what we need.

34:54 And so there's this, you know, long cycle in if we're better for each other than we're better for women, and we're better for women and them become better for me. And then we just become this Infinite Loop of becoming better. And that's what human Humanities about is this Innovation. We're creative beings there are trying to get to this point of Nirvana and maybe we never reach it. Maybe we never ever get there, but the journey to it, the the quest of greatness, and excellence, and peace, and love, and happiness. All these things that are Serene, that's what life is about. And it all starts with just understanding, hey, you have a purpose, you have a see within you and just water it when the other time, You'll get there eventually, you know, and I love her stressing, like judge everything by the fruits, not the conditioning, and be willing to look your environment and conditions and watering and, and make better choices. Move yourself because, yeah, if you're a to follow your metaphors, if you're a cactus that somehow got planted in an apple orchard, no matter how many other trees and saying, grow some fresh apples, give us some apples, get some apples going kid.

35:57 It's not gonna happen and you'll you trying to live by the conditioning would make a for a miserable experience. You want to judge yourself. Elf like, I'm not making up apples. You like, and you're a cactus. You can the best Cactus out here, but you're around apples and it, maybe you're meant to be a cactus among apples. You know, some of that is maybe being being bold enough to be yourself, even when the world around you is different, you know. So so I want to get, get back to focusing on masculinity as well. So, what are some ways that one could begin to embrace their authentic masculinity? so, For me, I would say that everything kind of starts.

36:44 Doesn't really starts. Its, we're all three or we can say, three different beings, like the spiritual being, the mental, being the physical being, and they all aligned in some ways. One practical thing, I tell a lot of mean it's like, you got to get up early. You got to rise early and their science behind it. You know, the female hormone cycle follows the moon, it's 28 days, they have their cycle, the male hormone cycle follows the Sun, and it's kind of goes with the masculine energy mass and energy is the Illusion. In the sense, it's the enlightenment is, what has come in two forms. What's been revealed? So we follow the Sun and makes sense every 24 hours or homosexuals, you know, resets it Peaks. In the morning.

37:33 So, for most men, if you wake up, I got, I don't have the exact numbers on me. It's in my book, The Divine masculine handbook, and it talks about there's times where you can ride that peak of testosterone up, and I can't really explain What it is. Maybe someone can lose more time different, who knows about? You know, hormones are very, very, you know, a student this but there's an energy to that of Waking up before your Peak and experiencing the peak. And you can carry a little bit of that with you versus waking up and you're on a Down's downhill. Like slide is also something about The male ego in.

38:15 Worthiness and if I don't know if we can re-engineer it, right? And I'm a person who I don't want to change, how things are our, just figure out how they work and then just use the best of my ability, right? We can try to re-engineer, man, but there's something to me in about worthiness where it's like I want underserved what I have. I want to I want to earn my keep. That's the something men. Have you can you can find the richest man. The poorest man. They were both agree. I want to earn my keep I'll ask when I have to but I really want to earn my keep and so discipline becomes. It's a weird thing. I discipline becomes a self watering system when you really tap into it at a different frequency where this not discipline for.

38:58 You know, it's not discipline as a consequence. It's a proactive discipline that says I'm doing this to reward myself and to increase my own self esteem, my own self image because I'm doing something that requires Buy some discipline requires going a little bit above and beyond and that's what masculine he's about. Was like extending that massive energy a little bit further. I was like, hey, you have to be doing this podcast right now. Why are you doing this? You could just talk about this with a couple friends and but you're doing something that's extending out further just just enough just like whatever you get from this podcast. Where were you, where ever your brand grows into? It's like, you know, like I work for this and there is a feeling that we can't really describe a why you feel that way but you know, No, you deserve to cuz you know how much you put into it, you know, how much work, you know, how much time, you know how much goes into it. And so there's something for a man when it comes to your masks Linnaeus.

39:51 Like, hey, what do you think it would take for you deserve? It, it may be. You're going to be wrong about that. What it is, but what do you think it would take for you to feel like you deserve what you actually want Nick clear on what you want and then what would you take to deserve it? Not just what you want in. I want to go get the fastest way but if you could earn it, what does that would? That feel like? What would it take? There's some pride. and in that process, The notion of displaying the really hit me now that sometimes kind of an hour in our worst aspects. Discipline seems like a constraint, it's were being punished but when itself chosen discipline it does feed that expansion, you're talking about. So I think that's how most things are that again, based on our mindset and framework, you know, it can feel restricting and putting and put his gun.

40:37 Putting it back in that old man box or is it really a tool that we can use to expand even further? And I think that's true. Then you mentioned worthiness a lot. Yeah. A lot of it's a fear, a lot of men have it that their theater. So afraid to speak out loud, but what sort of other fears do you see commonly in men, besides, you know, questioning their worth of questioning their own value? I think the process can be daunting and I've experienced, I'm sure you've experienced it this, when you were you in a place where you're maybe having the first awareness of what you really want and maybe your for the first time, you're aware of the environment you're in, is not the environment you meant to be in other people. You connected to you.

41:22 Not meant to be connected to and it's like it's a, it's a Troublesome feeling. It's Wow, I've done this all wrong. And how can I fix this? It's such a dark place. You can you can put yourself in which is also, it can be a great experience. Say wow. I'm I'm aware enough to know that this isn't for me. That's a great place to be in. And then it's just about forging that path forward and say, what do I want moving forward? So that fear of being caught in your process, right? That's just part of the, the male insecurity because we're based on externalizing things. So we don't want to be caught in the middle of cooking the meal like up, don't look yet, it's not done, right?

42:06 Like I'm not, I'm not finished yet, but the beauty of manhood said you're never finished, right? Like, we're always going to be craving all thing to be Be growing and expanding its like, never be ashamed of where you're growing into never be ashamed of what you're stepping into next and ever be a shame to let someone see you working steam. So you progress. Yeah, if you're caught, if you're caught mixing up your recipe, is that it's like a fear of judgment. But, no, I'm not done. Don't judge me yet. I'm still in process. There are some people, this is the beauty and I've experienced in my own life is just there. They're so much like juice in this, like simple truth of just like, embracing your process as a man is the key because that's the masculine feminine balance, right? Because we're this 24-hour clock that keeps going around day by day.

42:52 And so that's what brings the insecurity. But the insecurity is what has that's what has made men, protection providers over time over time because we have to be insecure Sure about is their safety, is their provision, if there's enough of this so that insecurity drives us out to be this more masculine friend because I have to go find security. You know, I have to go develop into something secure and stable, not only for myself and that starts, you know, material things but food shelter. Everybody expands out, like I said, to creativity, to dreams, like to impact, to connections to love to family. And if you can allow that process, You know, that feminine process that takes time. If you can get in tune with that process of like hey this is going to take time.

43:40 And I don't want to judge myself based on my process of where I'm going to get into. I have to be okay with where I am and also like that. That's why the disciplines reward because the process is going to be the process but you can beat yourself up in the process so much that you don't get to the reward. But the discipline part of that is like every single day. I did something that moving forward that is the reward that it's not the end, it's in the middle of that family. Eminent process. You were establishing masculine presence. Each step of the way of saying I'm disciplined. I'm focused. I'm sacrificing, I'm moving forward, I'm making adjustments. If someone sees me getting better, that's good for them. Maybe it's inspires them.

44:22 Maybe they want to help me, or maybe I want to help them like that creates new life. And so that's never be ashamed of where you are because it can change any anyone situation can change? Within a year within five years for sure, within 10 years, without question of a doubt. So it's just a matter of hey, love the processor and find out what their process is. Right? Because we want the goal, but we have to figure out what do you have to do day by day to make that happen and just like a time management? Productivity thing because you know, pressure be part of manhood as well as that early Rising thing that rise again to your masculine energy rising to that testosterone, it gives More time, there's more time in the beginning of the day, the, at the end because the brain hasn't made me decisions, there's more clarity more focused.

45:11 It's not many people moving around things happening. So it's just a quick tip. If like if if you wake up at 6 a.m. try 5:00 a.m. try for you wake up at 8, a.m. try six, get a couple extra hours and do something. That's very, very important to you. Thanks, we've done is very, very important using discipline and structure which can feel limiting, but you use it to enhance your creativity in your progression. It's going to feel good. You got a car in this. I got up today and I knocked that thing out. Now, you rest of your day B uu test runs going down but you're actually feeling good. So I got that thing done, I finished that thing I was supposed to do, and if your author start writing your book in the morning.

45:52 If you're a videographer start editing, your videos are content creator. Get up in the morning edited video, you want to edit and get that done. First thing in the morning now the rest of your days like oh, wow, everyone today, it's like get a win under your belt as fast as you can and then Going to feel like a winner, right? Do that another dimension? Yeah. And enjoy your own fruits of that that self satisfaction and fulfillment at the result of your creation and your action. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy at that point, like every day, I'm a winner. Every time, a winner, no matter where I am in my process, I won today. So, if you see me today, I'm not a shame that I'm still cooking but I got them. I got the ingredients together today. I put them on. I got a mixed up and I'm tomorrow.

46:33 Want to put in the oven, but just everyday, get a win. You know, get it. Get a quick win. It's like cheating. If it's it's an easy. Like brain chemistry thing just sets you up for Success because you're training yourself to see yourself as this person who's winning. You're in the process of becoming You want to become it, right? Yeah, I know I've often had the experience of the goal of the person I want to be is so far away. And I'm only looking at that end result and I'm like, oh I can never get there. But if I focus on what can, what can I do today? Do get it. But now we're early. What what positive thing can I do today to get me closer? And when we focus on that, just those small incremental steps towards our own success, we feel that level of success, we feel it.

47:16 And it compounds is sometimes. The thing we think is so far away is only a matter of Consecutive work, right? Like it may seem like it's 100 days away and it could be 100 the way for the average person. But if you do for three days in a row, you may get there. Faster. Yeah, and it's forever away if you take no action about it it's always a way. Yeah. Yeah. So it's it's closer each day or its infinite forever depending on what you do, which one do you want to pick? Yeah. Awesome. So Malika I love this conversation when we're looking at the talked again, more. But what's the best way for people to learn more about Out you and connect with you. I'm on Instagram, YouTube. Facebook at Jay, Malik taught me.

47:59 I'm posting on there all the time posting stories live streams. You can find me on there. I'm trying to be interactive as I can with people of this. That shared web experience with a mostly. What I see, you know, try to give a kind of a reflection of what's happening in the world and how that applies to the everyday life and try to bring it back to the spiritual principle of, there are things going on the life. This is why this is going on. And if you separate yourself from this and understand learn from it, learn from what's Happening out here, learn from everything is here to learning experience, the learning tool, even the bad things we talked about were just so like many. We're doing this, like we're worth. It's part of our evolution.

48:39 Be problems we have to solve and it's like, okay, this is going on because of this and what can I learn from this personally? So I can apply this my own personal life. So they're catch me on Instagram, mostly YouTube at Jamie, Lee taught me and you know, we also catch up. Cool. Well, thanks for talking to us today, Malik and thanks again for joining us listening in. Please visit real men, feel dot-org. See the blog post for this episode? We'll have all the various links and resources that we discussed wherever you're discovering real and feel, Please, Subscribe, follow, like, share, comment and share this episode. So was someone that was, you know, would get some value from it. You can always reach out to me at real men. Feel at gmail.com, always glad to hear from you. And until next time, be good to yourself. So was someone that was, you know, would get some value from it. You can always reach out to me at real men. Feel at gmail.com, always glad to hear from you. And until next time, be good to yourself.