March 13, 2026
Men's Health and Healing: Exploring Modern Masculinity
Men’s Health, Loneliness, and Real Masculinity
Host Andy Grant opens by saying men need truth and connection, not shame or fake strength. After a guest postpones due to health news, Andy shares he has a colonoscopy scheduled and urges men to prioritize physical health: get annual checkups, know family history, ask doctors questions, and follow colorectal cancer screening guidance, noting rising deaths under 50 and citing Chadwick Boseman and James Van Der Beek.
He then discusses an international survey reporting that about a third of Gen Z men believe wives should obey husbands and husbands should have final say, interpreting this as a search for identity, direction, belonging, respect, purpose, and brotherhood. Andy argues that men are hurting without language, loneliness increases vulnerability to harmful online narratives, and real masculinity is responsibility, integrity, presence, and emotional honesty, inviting listeners to join his community at https://realmenfeel.org/group.
00:00 What Men Really Need
00:18 Welcome and Plans Change
00:44 Colonoscopy Wake Up Call
01:22 Screening Facts and Risks
02:31 Gen Z Survey Shock
03:18 What Men Are Hungry For
04:32 Pain Turns Into Anger
05:15 Loneliness and Online Voices
06:05 Masculinity Without Domination
07:17 Why Real Men Feel Exists
07:38 Two Reminders and Next Steps
Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join us in the Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel
#RealMenFeel ep 395
1
00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:05,280
So what do men need?
In my experience, men do not
2
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,680
need more shame.
Men do not need more fake
3
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,080
strength.
Men need truth.
4
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:15,280
Men need connection.
Men need spaces where they can
5
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:19,960
finally be real and heal.
Hello and welcome to Real Men
6
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,800
Feel.
I'm your host Andy Grant on Real
7
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,000
Men Feel.
We have conversations that most
8
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,600
men are not having, but that all
men and the women who love them
9
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,280
can benefit from.
Today was supposed to be a guest
10
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,320
episode, but life had other
plans.
11
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,840
My planned guest is dealing with
some difficult recent health
12
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,680
news and had to postpone.
And that hits close to home for
13
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,400
me.
I'm having a colonoscopy on
14
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,400
Monday.
I believe it's my third one.
15
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:53,040
My dad died from colon cancer,
so I know this is not something
16
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:57,040
to ignore or put off.
So before I say anything else
17
00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:01,240
today, men, please take care of
your health.
18
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,080
Get your annual physical at the
very least.
19
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:09,120
Know your family history.
Ask questions of your doctor.
20
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,920
Be your best advocate for your
health and well-being.
21
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,040
When it's time, get your
colonoscopy.
22
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:20,560
It's nothing to be afraid of or
or avoid or be embarrassed about
23
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,560
whatever nonsense you get in
your head, right?
24
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:27,280
For most adults at average risk,
screening for colorectal cancer
25
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:31,040
starts at age 45.
If you have family history like
26
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,800
I do, or other risk factors,
talk with your doctor because
27
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,760
you may need screening earlier
or more often.
28
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,840
Screening matters and can save
your life.
29
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,720
The American Cancer Society says
colorectal cancer is now the
30
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,960
leading cause of death for
Americans under 50.
31
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,360
And a lot of us still think
about colon cancer as an old
32
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,680
person's issue.
It isn't.
33
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,520
Remember Chadwick Boseman?
He died at only 43 years old,
34
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,000
and James Vanderbeek died
earlier this year at 48.
35
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,240
These stories are painful
reminders that ignoring symptoms
36
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,000
or delaying screenings can cost
you dearly.
37
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,880
Being strong doesn't mean
ignoring your body.
38
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,160
Being strong means handling your
business.
39
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:20,480
Make the appointment, get
checked, have the conversations.
40
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,240
Your life matters.
And that brings me to today's
41
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,960
main topic.
Because men's health is not only
42
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:30,680
physical, it is emotional,
relational, cultural.
43
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,600
I saw a story this week that
says a lot about where many men
44
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,440
are right now.
I came across a new
45
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:41,160
international survey that found
about 1/3 of Gen.
46
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:45,240
Z men agree that a wife should
obey her husband and about a
47
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:49,360
third say the husband should
have the final say in important
48
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:53,040
decisions.
The researchers say those rates
49
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,040
are about double those of baby
boomer men.
50
00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,440
That could that really surprised
me that that traditional notion
51
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,240
of the man always being in
charge.
52
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,480
I would apply assume that to be
applied more to baby boomers.
53
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,160
You know, I thought the gens
ears were supposedly the, the
54
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,560
open anything goes, you know,
free and fluid, all that stuff.
55
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,960
But perhaps not or certainly not
all of them.
56
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,320
This is worth paying attention
to.
57
00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:22,320
Not because men are bad, not
because young men should be
58
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,160
shamed for their their views or
opinions, but because it tells
59
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,240
me that a lot of men are hungry
for something.
60
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:34,160
What are they hungry for?
Identity, right?
61
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:38,480
Who am IA question that people
have been asking since the dawn
62
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,720
of time?
Direction.
63
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,520
Where am I going?
Another common question.
64
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:48,840
Common pondering.
People want clarity, belonging,
65
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,520
knowing you're in the right
place with the right people,
66
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:59,840
that you're supported, respect.
People want to be esteemed in
67
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,680
the eyes of others, right?
The opinion of the community
68
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:07,200
about you matters.
Purpose.
69
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,200
We all want to be here for a
freaking reason.
70
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:14,280
You want meaning in our lives.
And finally, brotherhood.
71
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:21,320
That sense of connection, tribe
that you are with your people.
72
00:04:22,079 --> 00:04:24,360
You've got their back.
They've got your back.
73
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:30,040
When healthy masculinity is
missing, unhealthy versions will
74
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:33,960
rush in to fill that void.
The first point I really want to
75
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,400
make.
Men are hurting, but many don't
76
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,600
have the language for it.
They can't express it, perhaps
77
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,720
not even to themselves.
A lot of men are in pain, but
78
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,480
they don't have the tools or
permission to talk about it
79
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,520
honestly.
So pain gets translated into
80
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,400
anger.
Confusion gets translated into
81
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,560
control.
Fear gets translated into
82
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,600
rigidity.
When a man doesn't know how to
83
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:04,760
say I feel lost, or I feel
powerless, or I feel like I'm
84
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:10,080
failing, he may grab onto ideas
that make him feel more certain,
85
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:14,440
more dominant, more important,
and more in control.
86
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:19,000
The second point?
Lonely men are vulnerable men.
87
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:23,840
There's also a loneliness crisis
among men, and loneliness isn't
88
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,480
just about having nobody to
text.
89
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:31,640
It's about not feeling seen, not
feeling known, not feeling safe
90
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:39,440
enough to be real, to be open.
Missing a a bond of trust, the
91
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,880
ability to rely on someone in
the comforter, and integrity of
92
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,640
yourself to let others rely on
you.
93
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:51,360
When men don't have genuine
brotherhood, mentorship, or
94
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:55,840
emotionally honest spaces, they
become vulnerable to the loudest
95
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:59,680
voices online.
The men promising certainty, the
96
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:03,480
men selling power, the men
offering an identity built on
97
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,320
blame.
Third Point.
98
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,640
Real masculinity is not
domination.
99
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,840
This is where I think culture
gets it wrong.
100
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:17,520
Real masculinity is not
domination, it is not emotional
101
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:21,320
shutdown, it is not controlling
women, it is not pretending you
102
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:25,840
never hurt.
To me, real masculinity is
103
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:32,040
responsibility, integrity,
presence, emotional honesty,
104
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:39,000
strength with heart, leadership
without control, protection
105
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:43,120
without possession.
I don't believe most men are
106
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:47,880
looking for misogyny.
I think most men are looking for
107
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:53,200
relief.
Men want to feel grounded.
108
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:58,040
They want to feel respected.
They want to know who they are.
109
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:02,760
They want purpose and meaning.
They want to stop feeling numb,
110
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,480
angry, disconnected, or
invisible.
111
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:14,240
And if healthy models of manhood
are absent, counterfeit versions
112
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:19,720
become very attractive.
That is exactly why I do real
113
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:23,120
men feel.
Because men need spaces where
114
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:27,160
they can be honest without being
shamed, vulnerable without being
115
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:30,760
emasculated, supported without
having to perform.
116
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:36,520
We need more places where men
can feel, speak, connect and
117
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:40,120
heal.
So today I leave you the two
118
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,240
reminders.
First, take care of your
119
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,880
physical health.
We only get one body for this
120
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,520
ride.
Get the check up, know your
121
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,040
family history.
Get the colonoscopy when it's
122
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,560
time.
If you're not sure when it's
123
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:56,280
time, ask.
Please do not assume you're too
124
00:07:56,280 --> 00:08:02,720
young, too strong, too busy.
Second, take care of your inner
125
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,240
life.
Because if we want better men,
126
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:09,960
we need better spaces for men to
be real, to be honest with
127
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,920
themselves and others.
This isn't about making weaker
128
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:20,520
men, not about softer men.
It's about more honest men, more
129
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:27,320
connected men, more awake men.
And that's what I want for you.
130
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,680
If that speaks to you, come join
us in my community.
131
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,799
Authentic AF.
Visit realmenfeel.org/group.
132
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,159
And until next time, be good to
yourself.
00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:05,280
So what do men need?
In my experience, men do not
2
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,680
need more shame.
Men do not need more fake
3
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,080
strength.
Men need truth.
4
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:15,280
Men need connection.
Men need spaces where they can
5
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:19,960
finally be real and heal.
Hello and welcome to Real Men
6
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,800
Feel.
I'm your host Andy Grant on Real
7
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,000
Men Feel.
We have conversations that most
8
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,600
men are not having, but that all
men and the women who love them
9
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,280
can benefit from.
Today was supposed to be a guest
10
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,320
episode, but life had other
plans.
11
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,840
My planned guest is dealing with
some difficult recent health
12
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,680
news and had to postpone.
And that hits close to home for
13
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,400
me.
I'm having a colonoscopy on
14
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,400
Monday.
I believe it's my third one.
15
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:53,040
My dad died from colon cancer,
so I know this is not something
16
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:57,040
to ignore or put off.
So before I say anything else
17
00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:01,240
today, men, please take care of
your health.
18
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,080
Get your annual physical at the
very least.
19
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:09,120
Know your family history.
Ask questions of your doctor.
20
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,920
Be your best advocate for your
health and well-being.
21
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,040
When it's time, get your
colonoscopy.
22
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:20,560
It's nothing to be afraid of or
or avoid or be embarrassed about
23
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,560
whatever nonsense you get in
your head, right?
24
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:27,280
For most adults at average risk,
screening for colorectal cancer
25
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:31,040
starts at age 45.
If you have family history like
26
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,800
I do, or other risk factors,
talk with your doctor because
27
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,760
you may need screening earlier
or more often.
28
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,840
Screening matters and can save
your life.
29
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,720
The American Cancer Society says
colorectal cancer is now the
30
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,960
leading cause of death for
Americans under 50.
31
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,360
And a lot of us still think
about colon cancer as an old
32
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,680
person's issue.
It isn't.
33
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,520
Remember Chadwick Boseman?
He died at only 43 years old,
34
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,000
and James Vanderbeek died
earlier this year at 48.
35
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,240
These stories are painful
reminders that ignoring symptoms
36
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,000
or delaying screenings can cost
you dearly.
37
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,880
Being strong doesn't mean
ignoring your body.
38
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,160
Being strong means handling your
business.
39
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:20,480
Make the appointment, get
checked, have the conversations.
40
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,240
Your life matters.
And that brings me to today's
41
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,960
main topic.
Because men's health is not only
42
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:30,680
physical, it is emotional,
relational, cultural.
43
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,600
I saw a story this week that
says a lot about where many men
44
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,440
are right now.
I came across a new
45
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:41,160
international survey that found
about 1/3 of Gen.
46
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:45,240
Z men agree that a wife should
obey her husband and about a
47
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:49,360
third say the husband should
have the final say in important
48
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:53,040
decisions.
The researchers say those rates
49
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,040
are about double those of baby
boomer men.
50
00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,440
That could that really surprised
me that that traditional notion
51
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,240
of the man always being in
charge.
52
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,480
I would apply assume that to be
applied more to baby boomers.
53
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,160
You know, I thought the gens
ears were supposedly the, the
54
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,560
open anything goes, you know,
free and fluid, all that stuff.
55
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,960
But perhaps not or certainly not
all of them.
56
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,320
This is worth paying attention
to.
57
00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:22,320
Not because men are bad, not
because young men should be
58
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,160
shamed for their their views or
opinions, but because it tells
59
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,240
me that a lot of men are hungry
for something.
60
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:34,160
What are they hungry for?
Identity, right?
61
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:38,480
Who am IA question that people
have been asking since the dawn
62
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,720
of time?
Direction.
63
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,520
Where am I going?
Another common question.
64
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:48,840
Common pondering.
People want clarity, belonging,
65
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,520
knowing you're in the right
place with the right people,
66
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:59,840
that you're supported, respect.
People want to be esteemed in
67
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,680
the eyes of others, right?
The opinion of the community
68
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:07,200
about you matters.
Purpose.
69
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,200
We all want to be here for a
freaking reason.
70
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:14,280
You want meaning in our lives.
And finally, brotherhood.
71
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:21,320
That sense of connection, tribe
that you are with your people.
72
00:04:22,079 --> 00:04:24,360
You've got their back.
They've got your back.
73
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:30,040
When healthy masculinity is
missing, unhealthy versions will
74
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:33,960
rush in to fill that void.
The first point I really want to
75
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,400
make.
Men are hurting, but many don't
76
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,600
have the language for it.
They can't express it, perhaps
77
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,720
not even to themselves.
A lot of men are in pain, but
78
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,480
they don't have the tools or
permission to talk about it
79
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,520
honestly.
So pain gets translated into
80
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,400
anger.
Confusion gets translated into
81
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,560
control.
Fear gets translated into
82
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,600
rigidity.
When a man doesn't know how to
83
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:04,760
say I feel lost, or I feel
powerless, or I feel like I'm
84
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:10,080
failing, he may grab onto ideas
that make him feel more certain,
85
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:14,440
more dominant, more important,
and more in control.
86
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:19,000
The second point?
Lonely men are vulnerable men.
87
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:23,840
There's also a loneliness crisis
among men, and loneliness isn't
88
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,480
just about having nobody to
text.
89
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It's about not feeling seen, not
feeling known, not feeling safe
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enough to be real, to be open.
Missing a a bond of trust, the
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ability to rely on someone in
the comforter, and integrity of
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yourself to let others rely on
you.
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When men don't have genuine
brotherhood, mentorship, or
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emotionally honest spaces, they
become vulnerable to the loudest
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voices online.
The men promising certainty, the
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men selling power, the men
offering an identity built on
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blame.
Third Point.
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Real masculinity is not
domination.
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This is where I think culture
gets it wrong.
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Real masculinity is not
domination, it is not emotional
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shutdown, it is not controlling
women, it is not pretending you
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never hurt.
To me, real masculinity is
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responsibility, integrity,
presence, emotional honesty,
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strength with heart, leadership
without control, protection
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without possession.
I don't believe most men are
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looking for misogyny.
I think most men are looking for
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relief.
Men want to feel grounded.
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They want to feel respected.
They want to know who they are.
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They want purpose and meaning.
They want to stop feeling numb,
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angry, disconnected, or
invisible.
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And if healthy models of manhood
are absent, counterfeit versions
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become very attractive.
That is exactly why I do real
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men feel.
Because men need spaces where
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they can be honest without being
shamed, vulnerable without being
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emasculated, supported without
having to perform.
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We need more places where men
can feel, speak, connect and
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heal.
So today I leave you the two
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reminders.
First, take care of your
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physical health.
We only get one body for this
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ride.
Get the check up, know your
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family history.
Get the colonoscopy when it's
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time.
If you're not sure when it's
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time, ask.
Please do not assume you're too
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young, too strong, too busy.
Second, take care of your inner
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life.
Because if we want better men,
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we need better spaces for men to
be real, to be honest with
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themselves and others.
This isn't about making weaker
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men, not about softer men.
It's about more honest men, more
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connected men, more awake men.
And that's what I want for you.
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If that speaks to you, come join
us in my community.
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Authentic AF.
Visit realmenfeel.org/group.
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And until next time, be good to
yourself.
Author / Teacher / Coach / Healer
Andy Grant is a best-selling author, speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, healer, and suicide prevention activist. As the host of the award-winning Real Men Feel podcast, he champions emotional well-being and encourages men to step out of the “emotional closet.”
Andy holds certifications in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Life Activation, and multiple energy healing modalities. Known as The King of Authenticity, he founded Real Men Feel in 2016, fostering a movement that redefines masculinity through openness and vulnerability.
An Initiate, Certified Healer, Teacher, and Ritual Master with the Modern Mystery School, Andy has dedicated his life to helping people in emotional pain rediscover the magnificence of life. His training includes work with renowned teachers such as Mike Dooley, Brendon Burchard, Bill Harris, Genpo Roshi, David Morelli, Margaret Lynch, Linda Howe, Tal Ben-Shahar, Karen Paolino-Correia, and Christie Marie Sheldon.
