Moonshot Mission for Mankind & Humanity

0:00 Hello and welcome to real men. Feel I'm your host author coach, and healer and e-grant. Real men feel is here to remind you. That men are human beings and they have the right, the need and the desire to express all of their emotions. You can learn more about how I help people do that by visiting the Andy Grant.com. Today is the first show of 2022 with a guest, and there really is only one, man. I could invite to live up to that lofty expectation after going. So long without any guests at all, and that man is dr. Jeff Simon. Dr. Diamond is one of the world's leading experts in gender medicine and Men's Health, he has written 16 books, including International bestsellers, surviving male menopause, and the irritable male syndrome. He's a licensed psychotherapist with a PhD in international health and a master's degree in social work. His passion is helping men and women do four things live, a fully authentic life, love deeply and well, make a positive difference in the world and offer hope and Guidance in these times of Challenge and transformation for more than 50 years jet has been a Pioneer in gender specific medicine, healing trauma.

1:08 And Men's Health to me, most importantly, than all of those wonderful things. Jed is a teacher mentor and a friend of mine and I am thrilled to be connecting with you. Once again, Jed, welcome back to real men. Feel thank you Andy. It's a pleasure to be with, you, always and knees. Always challenging times. It's good to have a brotherly connection and to be able to be exploring these important issues together. You start right there, you said always challenging times, so I've certainly seen more and more people and experience myself, especially challenging times but is, is challenge constant. Well the way I'm thinking of it when I said that is change is constant, certainly things always change. That's the nature of life.

2:07 But what I'm referring to is something really more specific which is the reality that the challenges we face as a human group of people's on the planet of the Earth. Is getting more and more problematic for I think Humanity. The problems we face with climate change or one indicator of the imbalance that we have the fires that are going on, where I am in California, the constant every summer, we have more danger and so on.

2:47 So what I'm really talking about is that the stress levels, if you will of All of us are increasing and it's not all the time, but I think we all feel that things are heating up. Things are increasingly stressful, and we handle them in different ways, but I think we have to acknowledge things are difficult these days. I agree. So, I know you have kind of a personal Moon shot, a new moonshot Mission you working on. So can you tell me what the purpose of that is? Well, it specifically, it's to look at a reality that a couple of researchers actually addressed and it's so something, I think we all feel, but they addressed it specifically. And one of the colleagues was Randall, Nessie is an MD and his colleague dr.

3:47 Krueger and they looked at the the hell Health and Longevity of people in 20 different countries throughout the world and what they found in every country as a group Men, live sicker, they got diseases at higher rates than females and they died sooner. Their life span was shorter. And I think that was something we all kind of intuitively knew, but they gathered the data that indicated that and they came out with them some very specific Responses and implications of that reality. The first one was that when you look at risk factors for disease and early death, all the things that might predispose us.

4:35 They said the number one risk factor is simply being male. If you just knew nothing else about somebody that was sick or, you know, would die early just that being male was the number one risk factor. Or that was startling. There are other conclusion that really stood out to me was that they said that if we could simply help men live as healthy and long as women as a group, we would save 375,000 men's lives a year in the United States alone. Just think about 375,000, fathers husbands Brothers, all the Nation ships that we have three hundred and seventy-five thousand a year in the United States alone and they're finding that men live sicker and die sooner and every other country of the world.

5:33 Yes, I knew the mortality rate was different in the US, I didn't and I guess I tribute to the way we eaten and work and live and stress out. But so, every country they looked at the same thing is happening. Exactly. Well, there are countries where as a group were not as healthy as other countries as United States is not as Healthy and long lived as some other countries, but in every country, whatever it whether they're longer lived, or not as long lived, healthy or less the discrepancy between the males in that country. And the females of that country are such that the male's of, as a group Live, get sicker, more suit sooner and I sooner than the women. So that seems to be Universal.

6:19 And, as you know, it meant alive. I've been trying in my own way to help the men that come to me to write books and all the things you mentioned. But last November, I decided that we needed to do more. If we were really going to make a difference and when I started doing Men's Work back, you know, 50 more than 50 years ago. There weren't very many programs or organizations that were really focused on men's health. Now there are a lot of them. So the moonshot ideas if We could bring together. Hundreds thousands of individuals and millions of individual men and women along with all the good work, organizationally that people like you, and your organization are doing it many others. We could really collectively maybe not each one of us working separately, but if we could join forces, if we could become a support system, a community, a movement. That we could really make a difference not only improve the health of man.

7:29 Decrease the suicide rates which we know is higher for men than for women, violence rates are higher for men than for women. We suffer all kinds of, you know, heart disease and cancer every the top 10 leading cause of disease higher for males than for females. We could really make a difference. So the moonshot really is a group of us now that Come together to, to initiate a whole series of engagements, probably starting this year, in November to bring together the group that we have to reach out to kind of the next group of people that are interested in this field, who want to join it, who want to help and then to have that spread hopefully throughout the world.

8:17 To the idea of a moonshot came from the Google X, which it was in the Google World. The they called it, their moonshot Factory and that was where they looked at major problems in the world. And they said, how can we not only make a small difference? A 10% Improvement in some major problem, but how could we make an exponential difference? How could we get attend times effect of improvement rather than just a 10% Improvement? Now, Was there they called it, their moonshot Factory. So I thought this would require that kind of endeavor a moonshot Endeavor, whether it's taken somebody to the moon or a 10 times Improvement in men's mental health and then maybe a hundred times until we can gather enough momentum to have men and women together living long healthy lives. You think it was last year that you had a really provocatively titled article saying that At healing men would do more good than curing cancer.

9:26 So is that related to that that debt in staggering number of, if male and female mortality was just the same. If men, if the man was highly rate, rose up to the female as opposed to vice versa that over 325,000 lives would be saved in the us alone. Is that with that that cancer metaphors from. Well, it actually came from that study that that quote, was from the actual researchers. They said among other things. In addition to the The lives, that would be saved. They said, if if we could do that, you would do more good in the world than curing cancer. So it was, you know, that same idea that this is the kind of change that could make a huge difference.

10:11 And I think what's more important for those of us that have been working in the field of men's health and men's mental health, for these years, this is doable. I mean, we know now what we we can do to help men live healthily and have our minds in tune and our relationships healthy. We know there's a lot of programs that are doing this so it's not like, you know, 30 40, 50 years ago where we were kind of in the dark. We wanted to help but we didn't know what to do. Now we know what to do. We just need the, I think, concerted effort, the commitment, the belief, because so many People have become disillusioned, they feel hopeless, they feel helpless. They feel like the world's just going to hell in a handbasket and there's not much we can do and people even feel well maybe not only maybe I'm not worth anything. Maybe I ought to just check out I'm not of value to my family or Community, but maybe humanity is just on a step aside and let it run.

11:20 Gave it her best shot. Throw in the towel, kind of things. Actually, yeah, and I'm not ready to give in. I think there's a lot that Humanity can yet do for good, not only for ourselves, but for, you know, the rest of the community of Life on planet Earth. And when it clear that you're not talking about, just extending the lives of men, so they can be miserable and lonely, and depressed for another decade of on Earth. It's really that men can improve their mental emotional, spiritual health, and enjoy living and want to live. Longer exactly. Right. You know, nobody wants to live long miserably, you know, extend my miserable life.

12:00 Although I think that's part of the disheartening depression. That's not just individual, but collective in our in our society that you know, what's the use and particularly in man. I mean, there's a reason why the suicide rate for males who are 65 and older skyrockets compared to Emails. I mean females get old too and they have all the, you know, disabilities that males have. But as a group males 65 and older commit suicide at rates six times higher than females of the same age. So there's something about us guys that feel a sense of hopelessness at a certain stage so that's the thing, not only to live longer but to feel in Decorated by like I turned 70 80 earlier this year and and I feel this is kind of the most exciting time to be alive and these are challenging times, but we're up for challenge.

13:05 I mean challenge is good and working together, this can be fun, it can be engaging, it can be, you know, something we can pass on to our children, grandchildren and future generations, and you know what, could be more fun than making the world better place for all of us. To live in. Yeah, I Love Your vitality and optimism and energy about this whole thing, but what makes being mailed so deadly? Well, there's a number of things. There's a small percentage they, the researchers say maybe 10% has to do with genetics has to do with the fact that we males. We know genetically, we have every cell 10 trillion cells in our body.

13:53 They tell us I've encountered them all but I'll Trust the researchers tell me that. And every cell has, you know, chromosomes and one of those chromosomes one, Of the pair's is the sex chromosomes column X and Y. If you have an X and A Y, your mail, you and me, we got an X and A Y. If it's a female, we're talking to a female has in every 10 trillion cells of her body. She has two x's. And the recent research on genetics indicates that having two x's of those chromosome. Pairs gives some and genetic Outage that females live longer because their genes on the X, that if you've got two pairs, if one of them isn't working, the other can fill in, but if you only have one and you have the small other Y, chromosome, that doesn't have, as many, you know, jeans on it that women then have more protection. So, that's that's makes males biologically, perhaps more vulnerable, the good news is, Two things. One is that we know, even our genes are not our destiny that we used to think that whatever genetic benefit or disadvantage you had it was, you're stuck with it. He is a built-in.

15:17 But now we know in this emerging field of what's called epigenetics that our gene expression can get Modified by our attitudes, our beliefs are our practices. So that, even the That a thing, can can be modified beyond that. A lot of the reason men, die sooner and live sicker is our behaviors. How we eat, you know how, we how we relate to people, why? So many men feel lonely and don't have the social connections that women. Do you know why we feel that if we don't work and we don't have a job and we're not, you know, successful in the business world that somehow we're not useful or valuable.

16:02 There's a whole set of things that we've, you know, we know very well that if we change those, and many of us have, it's obviously isn't all men that are dying sooner. Some men live, like, my father lived to 98 my mother died at 80. Well, he, he changed one of the things he changes. He stopped smoking sooner than she did. He changed his eating patterns, he was less stress. T spent more social time than My mother did. So these changes are there to be had, and we just need to know about them and then to have the support, which I think is the key.

16:46 You know, if a whole group of guys are eating better, a whole community of manner relating and spending more time and social connection that positivity spreads, if we're isolated, if we're just doing our own thing, the The negativity, the downward spiral happened. So that's I think the hope that we have to change the patterns that have beset men for so many years and we may not be able to get men and women to live exactly the same number of years together, but we can certainly improve things a great deal and maybe even help women live longer healthier lives as well. We've certainly improved our General Health over the last No 50. 100 200 years, we could do even better for all of us, including us guys.

17:40 So, most of the behaviors that the eating and healthy the exercise. So much of that, I don't think there are many men that can say, oh, I didn't, I didn't realize eating better would help me, you know, so what do you think keeps what keeps us from doing the right thing? What keeps us from wanting to make the changes that would actually make us feel better? But I think there's a number of things. I think, you know, one is the, the social context in which many of us believe is associated with being mailed. So, for instance, I grew up in Southern California, the 1950s. And one of the, the beliefs was that in order to really be manly, you had to eat meat in a beef, particularly. And so, most of the neighbors, Purrs, you know, bought if you could afford it, you know, hamburgers, chop, steaks, and my mother after my father left, you know, he had a, what was called at the time, a nervous breakdown and ended up in a mental hospital.

18:50 So I was raised by single mom and one of the beliefs that she had was well, my boy needs meet, you know, to and so with the Fertilizing of the time, which was you get a freezer? I still remember you getting, they you buy a freezer and then you'd sign up for these regular meat deliveries and you'd get packaged Steaks and Chops and hamburgers. And you know, all kinds of me, well, she thought that would make me more manly. And so I literally ate meat three times a day. I had a parent, still remember hamburger and rice and applesauce usually for breakfast. And that was the breakfast.

19:34 It was quick. Also, since she was had to go to work after my dad left, she had to do stuff fast and quick fast food, defrost, you know, Hamburger. Put it in the, you know, the oven and boom, you got, you got breakfast, a chopped for lunch and a steak for dinner. So that's an example of that. Regimen of eating that's associated with maleness, or Manliness Not healthy. There's a lot of other practices like working hard, and not getting enough sleeping, and we don't need it because we're men, we could, we could tough it out, I don't need, you know, it's not good for us. So a lot of the beliefs we have about what it means to be manly. What it means to be a man are toxic, you know, the beliefs are toxic and not the masculinity is not toxic, but the beliefs, about some aspects of manhood are sick and those can change. So we change those beliefs, we change those practices and we start living longer healthier lives. Yeah, because the most, some of the most limiting distorted views of being a man, almost denies that. You're human, I don't need sleep or food or people or anything. I'm a man and like bull know before, where men or women, where we're humans.

20:56 And we all need that that connection, that that meeting that purpose. The the love and joy of Life and all of those things that again that stereotypical man, out on the plains, doesn't care about and yeah, good Marlboro Man. He smoked a cigarette rides, his horse and is a loner or you know, what you do and what your logo says, real men. Feel you know, and part of what many of us grew up was real men. Keep their feelings inside if they may feel but you don't show them. You may feel but you should only have a limited range of what you feel. Feel so it's okay to feel angry, maybe if you're a certain kind of family in my family, even anger was suppressed, but you certainly don't feel sad, you don't feel scared, you don't feel anxious, you don't feel, you know, hurt, you don't feel, you know, even love and affection and nurture, you know?

21:50 Those are female qualities. Men are this way and women are that way, little boys are made of sugar or little girls made of sugar and spice and everything. Nice, we're a little boys are Eight of snips and snails and puppy dogs, tails. Yeah, that's what little boys are made of. So, there's these dichotomy that tells us, there's only so much we can be and it's, it's only part of humanity. So, we end up all of us, females and males being restricted. I called the man box of what were restricted and well there's a separate but unequal female The restrictions that women have tried to break out of. And that's part of the the work we all have to do together. Right.

22:42 On your site earlier today, noticed an African proverb that I liked. It's the child who is not embraced by The Village, will burn it down to feel its warmth. So what does that mean to you? What does that bring to mind? Well, it's a number of things. It's the, the feeling that So many of us don't feel embraced by the village that we feel as men, either that our families, we have to leave them to go off to work. And we don't feel that we have time to spend with our children with our grandchildren. So there's that feeling, but I think in The Wider Society, there's a feeling that somehow we are not getting the support from. Our communities that men are being shortchanged. I think women feel the same way.

23:38 I really don't think it's just men that are feeling that way because I think there's significant ways in which we're all being shortchanged by a society that's driven by by money and profits and away. Rather than people Health Care is you know, is an example of a, part of the system that's really driven by profits more than Making money on, you know, on drugs and other things that may be less about health and about how to make money for large corporations. But I think the feeling of that that loss turns in particularly for males who have testosterone you know the pretty young males and older males, have it too. But that anger, that rage, that comes out where we feel Somebody must to be to blame for this that that it isn't me. I deserve to be cared for it.

24:40 If I don't then goddamn it. I'm going to burn the house down. I'm going to burn the village down. I'm going to storm the capital and take it over and pull down. The walls around me. There's a lot of that energy that I think of Hawaii that quote I think is apropos of a lot of what's going on, certainly in our country and other countries throughout the world, where there's this authoritarian. In leadership cult that's going on in many parts of the world of. If we can't solve our problems democratically, maybe we need a, you know, a heavy hand and a an authoritarian personality that will come and just kick some butt and take no prisoners and bomb the the enemies and you know and I think there's that mentality that when you strip it of it you know Macho. Authoritarian strongman ideology is really the little wounded child in there.

25:38 That's so frustrated that you know I'm going to just burn down the village rather than feel humiliated or shamed for not getting what I know I deserve. Yeah because there's There's an ease of going into blame mode and it's everybody else's fault, then taking responsibility. But but the only way things change for the better is by every individual taking responsibility for their own lives, or their own outlook for their own energy and beliefs, and everything, really, exactly and it's it's difficult to do when it feels like there are enemies out there that Our have to be pushed away and we see it, you know, and all sides of the political Spectrum.

26:31 You know we we feel Under Siege and I think it's a an understandable response to a complex society. I mean things are complicated and when things Rebecca cost, my colleague Rebecca costume, you know, a book called the watchman's rattle that that looked At at the the way in which societies reach a point of complexity and she looked it societies through history and all over the world. We're from the Roman Empire to the Kaymer Empire. Two empires generally that part of what presaged collapse is the things get so complex. You can't you can't solve the problems and so there's some, some things that you do when you can't solve problems. To you either.

27:24 Start blaming others. You look for a, scapegoat you, you develop, Silo thinking where you're all in your own little world in your own, you watch your own sports channels, your own television here, commentary. And then you get into this, we're the, we're the good guys and they're the bad guys and all I need to know about you is you're not this party, then you must be bad, you know I have to to oppose you no matter what you, what your Your policies are because you're bad and we're good and we got to stop you and that mentality is destructive clearly and is deadly clearly and one where we can't come together as long as we assume that there's no Bridging the Gap and I think it's something that is not solely but it's particularly male that I think goes back.

28:23 Back to probably our ancient, you know, roots in, in male animal behavior that we sniff out other males, that may be a danger, that may be a threat. May be a competitor and we either get him before he gets us or we have to check him out or you a friend or a foe and once you're labeled as a faux, then either I got to keep you under wraps. Or I've got a I've got To get you before you get me, that's the mentality that I think needs to change. And the moonshot mission that we have is not only help men live longer better, but to also Bridge.

29:07 The divisions that are so present between groups of men and between men and women and between different parts of our culture. Yeah. They're sort of try to eliminate everyone being in other and create more of an us, exactly? Right. Now, I know that you thought you had written your last book but I understand, you are, you're currently writing something. You want to tell me about that. Well, this is part of the what's come out of the moonshot idea because I wanted to recognize that this this quote that came out of the, the Nessie and Krueger research that the we could save.

29:53 The lives of three hundred seventy five thousand men a year. And so this idea of saving males which is least the working title of the new book. Saving males is a worthy goal and that we need some tools. And so in the book at least as its as its developing, there's three chapters on the problem which we've talked some about of, you know why men. Live sicker and die sooner, you know, the kind of violence against going on and then this kind of existential threat throughout the world where we're feeling, we're on the edge of collapse, that's the problem and you have a clear sense of the problem.

30:39 So there's three chapters that clarify that and then they're there are seven chapters on the solution and ways in which we can get more deeply in touch with our deep. Up healthy mail routes where we can learn to improve our relationships with ourselves in each other. So, it's, it's in a sense going to be the offering to this community. This movement that I'm starting will be one of many other resources that the I and others will make available from podcast like yours to other.

31:23 Groups and organizations that are working to join this, this movement, help, man. So my book, hopefully will be a a small but important part of that awesome. So Jed, what's the best way for people listening that are interested to learn more about you and learn more about the mission? What's the best way for people to do that? Well my website is is men a live.com just one word Emmy Nal. I ve.com and you scroll down at men alive you can read more about the moonshot mission and if you're interested in finding out more there's a place you can leave us here your name and email address and then we will be in touch with you. People can join the mailing list. I send out a newsletter every week where I write an article that I post on my site.

32:14 So there's a lot of resources that are there and it's a good way to connect with me and can write me email me at Janet mental live.com Read all my email and I respond to as many as I can. And so I'm accessible and available to the degree that you want to reach out. I'm here awesome. And with 50 years of experience and men's health, and mental health and healing. I've got to ask, is there one habit practice program that that stands out that you would like to pass on to everybody? Well, I think there's there's a couple that I do every day I want is I walk my neighborhood. Some of that was originally for health when covid-19 appening I upped my my walking and just physical things to walk Hills to improve my lung capacity.

33:09 But what I found is, you walk the community, you talk to people every day, not just people, but birds and animals. The deer are out in the In my neighborhood. So I talked to the deer. Hear the birds. So connecting to Nature connecting, two people connecting to community, walking is kind of an easy relatively easy, no matter where you are, there's places you can walk Durbin, rural, wherever. So, if there was one thing that I would tell you, I do every day and I do other things, but walking every day and then Then taking time when there's a neighbor in the yard to stop and chat a little bit to actually ask how you doing and really want to know.

34:00 And there's a give you just a little tip. If there's a man that I met in the neighborhood, who's 90 years old, he's living with his daughter and her family. His name is Victor and he's from Mexico. He's 90 years old and he's always out working doing something, he's splitting wood. Got it would Letter. So I come up and, you know, and he can't see very well, he's unless you're real close. So I'll call from a day, if you thought of como estas and then, you know, he's like, and he turns and smiles. I walk up and hit. Always spend a little, just a little time. Chad, and how you doing you, Steve stay in hell.

34:41 Yeah, man. Well, you know, just and it makes my day. I come home feel the greater than that every day. There's probably two or three people that I'll happen to run into him. Not always out. But when he is we have we have an exchange. So that that's at least one little practice that I'd recommend to anybody that, that resonates with that might want to do something like that. Awesome, awesome. That was such a surprising answer and so simple. And yeah, if there's anyone can do it. So, that's fantastic. Jed, I really want to thank you for making the time to talk to us and share more about your moonshot mission and No, I'm eager to be part of it and I hope everyone listening has, at least some level of eagerness and wants to know more and visit your site to learn more. So I thank you again Jed.

35:30 And thank you, everyone for listening, wherever you were discovering real men, feel, Please Subscribe, follow like, share, whatever the magic of that platform is post-review a comment. You can always reach out to me at real men. Feel at gmail.com, always love to hear from you. And if you want to explore what life might be like for you with more authenticity book, a free clarity All with me visit V and E Grant.com, talk. And until next time, be good to yourself.