Overcoming Trauma with Nick Prefontaine: The STEP System

0:00 Hello and welcome to Real Men Feel. I'm your host, author, coach and healer, Andy Grant. Please visit theandygrant.com to learn more about me. Real Men Feel exists to remind men that they are human beings and have the right to experience and express all of their emotions. We have conversations that most men are not having, but that all men can benefit from. My guest today is Nick Prefontaine. Nick is a three times best selling author and was named a top motivational speaker of 2022 in Yahoo Finance. He's also the founder and CEO of Common Goal. At age 14, Nick suffered a life threatening snowboarding accident. His parents were told he probably wouldn't ever walk, talk or eat again on his own.

0:41 Today, he helps people make it through any trauma, crisis or life challenge using the very system that he lived to get out of that hospital. On the other side of trauma is our limitless potential. Nick and I discuss the problems people have when facing major life challenges and the simple ways to navigate them. Nick shares the benefits of being open to alternative therapies and caring for your personal energy. Stay to the end and you can download a free e-book of Nick's step system and discover if he returned to snowboarding. Let's do it. Hello Nick, and welcome to Real Men Field. Hi, Andy. I'm very excited to be here. Nick, you helped lots of trauma survivors not merely survive, but to thrive. And I know that all kicked off with your own traumatic accident.

1:27 So why don't we start there and tell me? Tell me your story. Sure. So my, my story begins. And I know we're in a similar area, so usually I refer to the mountain, but I, I can, I can like be more specific here. So I grew up in Shrewsbury in Massachusetts, and I was actually at Ski club with my friends and it was always exciting. Ski Club day was always really exciting because we got released a little bit early and anyone that's that remembers leaving a little bit of school, When you get released even a little bit early, it's always a very big deal. So we got released a little bit early and we headed to Ski Club and that was at Wachusett Mountain right there in Princeton. So on the way to the mountain, my friends and I had all brought our snowboard gear onto the bus to get ready so we wouldn't miss a precious moment once we got to the mountain. And we got to the mountain, headed right for the top. When the rest of the class went inside to get ready, we were all ready to go.

2:32 We didn't want to waste any time there. So on the way up on the chair lift and we noticed that it was very icy because it had been raining early in the day. People were wiping out everywhere. However, that didn't, that really didn't phase us. We were, we were ready to go And actually the chair left went right over the terrain park where all of the jumps were. And I knew as soon as I saw it that I had to go off the biggest shop in the terrain park. It wasn't, wasn't even a moment of thinking, oh, should I, should I, should I not do it? Or should I do it like I was definitely that was what I was doing. So got to the top, sparkled in my snowboard, took a breath of that crisp wizard air, and confidently charged towards that jump with all my speed and going up to the jump, I caught the edge of my snowboard and that's the last thing that I remember. So I was told that I landed over my head. I wasn't wearing a helmet, and there were three things that really enabled me to be able to do the work that I'm doing today and share this story with you and your listeners. And that was although I wasn't wearing a helmet, the pair of goggles that I had on snowboarding goggles were very thick with a lot of padding.

3:53 So later I learned that not only did they brace my fall as I continued to roll down the mountain, they continued to hit my head. My goggles mysteriously moved to cushion each blow. So really the goggles part of which saved my life. Secondly, they wanted to bring a helicopter to the mountain to rush me to the hospital. They couldn't because it was too windy. So they had to send in an ambulance and out of all the paramedics in the area, there was only one who could intubate on the spot and I needed that to be able to breathe. And lucky for me, another another thing breaking the right way for me. I believe everything happens for reason. He was one of the paramedics that showed up to the mountain that day and really they're there. As I was alluding to.

4:43 There are several things that I still can't explain because of the accident, and now I know one of them is the reason why I'm able to be with you today and to tell this story. So after that, the third thing that happened when I was resting in a coma in the intensive care unit, unable to communicate with anyone. The only people who were allowed in my room were my parents. And it was so important early on because even though I was out, out in a coma, the doctors wanted to share the information of like my prognosis. And I'm sure you can imagine, especially at the beginning of a traumatic injury, the news is not so positive, not so positive, not so positive. So they, the doctors, no fault of their own. They were just doing their job.

5:33 Went to share the news with my parents right in front of me. They figured out he said, well, call me, he can't hear. My mom stopped them and she said no, no, not in front of him, because she understood that even though I was in a coma, I was still taking in information. So she made the doctor step outside the room and once they were there, that's where they shared that I was in a snowboarding accident and they had to partially induce me into a coma because I already had swelling in my brain. They were worried that if I woke up and panicked, the swelling would increase and I would have died. So they had to induce me into a coma. And they said to my parents that we're not sure how long he's going to be in and even if he comes out, he's probably not going to be able to walk, talk or eat on his own ever again. And what what my parents said was very important. They thank the doc, they took the information, thank the doctors.

6:34 And then because none of this influenced my subconscious mind, it didn't get through to me. I just treated it like any other situation. So I was in a coma for three weeks. I really don't remember a month because it was a partially induced coma. And a month after my accident I was transported to a rehab Hospital in Boston. And once I got my wits about me, I guess you could say I it just allowed me to treat it like any other situation. So this is no different than any other challenge that I faced up to this point in my life. I got up, did the best that I could, and it kept getting better every day. And was at this point that I unknowingly started to use a system to not only make a full recovery, but run on the hospital.

7:24 So I overheard my parents talking with the doctors and they would meet with them every week. And they said, all right, what do we have to do to make sure Nick makes a full recovery? Even though I couldn't talk, I heard a voice in the back of my head that said, no, you're going to run out of the hospital. So that running out of the hospital and he became our common goal. I was able to communicate that to my parents and the rest of my team. But it was at that time that I started and I'll, I'll come back to the boys in the back of my head because it's, it led me to what I'm doing today, really. I unknowingly started to utilize a system to not only make a full recovery, but run out of the hospital.

8:08 That's a STEP system. STEP is an acronym. It stands for support. Make sure you have the support of your family and friends right from the beginning. This is going to have you falling back on relationships that you built prior to your set back. T is trust. Trust that once you take your first step, your next step is always going to be available to you. Follow it. And then E is energy. Maintaining your energy allows your body's natural ability to be able to heal itself, and medication has the potential to get in the way of that. So after, after coming out of after coming in my coma and being transported to the rehab hospital, my parents knew that they wanted to get me off of the medication as soon as possible because they knew of the body's natural ability to be able to heal itself. And it was so important that I had an advocate that was part of my that's part of support.

9:05 What I talk about in step, my ebook, my free ebook that I'll, I'll give you a listen as a way they can download that in the end. But I talk about it's important to have an advocate because without an advocate, they would just to illustrate this. So after being transported to the rehab hospital, I still wasn't cleared to walk and I got up in the middle of the night and I had to use the bathroom. I, I would always have either my dad or my grandfather and uncle stay with me at night and I leaned over, I forget who it was, I think it was my grandfather and leaned over my bed. I tried to get their attention.

9:45 I couldn't. So I had to hobble my way to the bathroom and I nothing happened. It was fine. But then the hospital found out the next day and they freaked out and they said, Oh, we're going to give him this one CC the of that medication, that many CCS of the subtle medication, and that should really calm him down on so he's ready to go to sleep. And my mom said, no, you're not. Just ask him not to do that again. Will ever respect all the people that that work in the hospitals. And I'm I'm like, I'm thankful that I was able to have that care. However, if I didn't ever have get there, they would have just drugged me to to make their jobs easier. Right.

10:31 Yeah, every, every aspect of you didn't need treatment, though they were attempting to give it some. Yeah, exactly. And then P is persistence. So persistence, once you take your first step, keep getting up every day and taking your next step, no matter how small. And by continuing to move forward every day, you are building an unstoppable momentum. So if you Fast forward a little bit less than 60 days later after being transferred to the rehab hospital, I was able to realize my goal and run out of the hospital. And that wasn't an end. That was that was really a beginning for me, if anything. And that's really how I look, how I look in my life now as well.

11:17 I had to be tutored all summer long, five days a week in order to continue on to high school with the rest of my classmates, along with getting outpatient therapy for another six months. So I wasn't done. Like I said, it was just the beginning, if you will. So. So this happened when you were in high school. So what was your exact age during when the accident happened to you? I was 14 so I was in 8th grade. Wow. And it it sound your parents sound amazing to have navigated this, you know, with you and for you were they always just positive, optimistic people? Yes, they were. Yeah, I grew up in a very.

11:57 So this whole, this whole step system that I didn't even discover it until later in life, like like recently over the last several years. This whole, where this whole came from is just the way that I've always approached any kind of challenge in any kind of situation in my life. And I had a mentor that was able to pull this out of me, if you will, and be able be able to share it with everyone. And that's that's what I'm doing now and keynotes and went along work with people. Yeah, that's awesome. And you know, we had talked previously and I grew up in Leominster, MA, you grew up in Shrewsbury. And I, I kind of, I was guessing that this incident happened at Wachusett. And and I recently moved.

12:42 I'm now in Gardner, Mass, and I am less than 10 minutes from Wachusett. Oh wow. The only place I've ever attempted to snowboard was at Mamachusett as well. And I could only turn right, my wife could only turn left. And we kept slamming into each other. And so that was my one attempt. But yeah, your story is amazing. And you know, I find that, you know, amazing upbeat people that take control of their lives like you, you, you do live by a system. You do have this, this guidance, you have this divine intervention always happening and you kind of take it for granted or just like this is everybody lives. And it's not till someone helps pull it out of you that you realize, oh, here are these steps literally for you, the step system that can help anybody else that isn't as aware of of the best ways to navigate and and control their own lives.

13:30 My heart swells with admiration for you in your again ability not just to survive, but to thrive and then to share. Thank you. Yeah, it was, it was quite the, it was quite a journey. And it really it was, it was. It took me because that was something that happened when I was younger. I was like, yeah. What A couple of things to highlight what you said, that you just feel like everyone does this. So I talked, talked to like several people later in life and I'm like, I don't know, I just, I just got up and did the best I could and I kept getting better every day. And I was like, anyone would do the same.

14:10 And like, I'm not abnormal. And everyone looks at me and they're like, no, Nick, that's not normal. Like a lot of a lot of people would would have given up. And it took me later, like a little later on in life to really realize, OK, I have something here that I have to be sharing, like sharing my story and sharing with individuals across the world that are going through life challenge, crisis or trauma themselves and to help them thrive with the rest of their lives. So if you, it's amazing to me that only 18 months later, I got my start. And you know, when you're younger, when you're a kid, time is compressed. So something like six months, 12 months, 18 months seems like a lifetime away.

15:01 However, 18 months is not that long. It's really not that long. So only 18 months after finishing rehab, I got my start in real estate and I was door knocking, free foreclosure doors or homeowners that have received a notice to default letter from the bank, meaning they missed several payments all the way up to 11:50 and the bank still hadn't foreclosed on their home. So I would go to the cities where because I had to go to school during the week, I was only 16, I would go to cities where I could be most efficient and hit the most amount of doors in a day. And it's really it took that mentor that pulled the step system on me to reflect back to me.

15:45 She said, well, wait a minute, you only 18 months after finishing your rehab from being in a coma on your snowboarding accident, you're you're going into not so great areas of cities and knocking on knocking on doors of distrust salads. And I was like, Oh yeah, that's that. That is kind of like that is kind of a big deal. And she said, well, I think going door to door like that was part of your recovery, going door to door and helping people out of their unfortunate situation. So after graduating high school, I started starting to get my real estate license. And when I was 19, I, I got my real estate license and then was working as a realtor helping buyers and sellers. And then I actually ended up letting my real estate license go in January of 2016 to help my dad to join my dad full time as an investor, helping, helping him with the properties that he was getting under contract to find buyers for those properties and put them into a house and everything like that. And Andy, all throughout my life, I've always had this voice in the back of my head that's always been saying to me, regardless if it's door knocking, say any kind of sales as a real estate agent, it's always saying, yeah, OK, that's great.

17:13 I'm glad you're like living your life and everything. But what you really need to be doing is telling your story from stage and helping trauma survivors thrive with the rest of their lives. And that voice has always been there. And then with my dad's, with my dad's company and now a company that I'm partners in as well, Smart Real Estate Coach, one of the one of the companies that I'm partners in. I've had the opportunity since 2016 to get on stage and tell my story. And it's really allowed me to scratch that itch, if you will, and be be able to speak and tell my story. So I could rationalize with myself that, OK, I'm doing it like I'm telling my story from stage.

17:59 However, there was this woman that approached me after one of our events a little over five years ago in 2019 before COVID. And she said to me, I'm not trying to steal you from your family company. But if you're ever looking to fine tune your message and to bring it to another level so that it has maximum impact, I can introduce you to a few coaches and mentors that have helped me out on my path. And I always on our card. I still wasn't ready. I, I was still going through a voice challenge and in 2012 I developed a voice challenge and I was looking everywhere and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.

18:46 And I finally wound up in a voice specialist office in August of 2013. And that was in Boston. And I guess they're only 35 of these specialists and the whole continent. And one of them was right in Boston, a 2 hour drive for me. So I went into his office after stressing out and building it up like such a big deal in my head for a year. And I sat down and this guy walked in the room and heard me speak. And right away nonchalantly goes, oh, that. Yeah, we deal with that all the time. Go get scheduled for a Botox injection in a couple weeks. And I was like, my mouth was on the floor.

19:26 I was like, I'm I'm soul hook, line and sinker and I started getting Botox injections along with their higher level voice speech pathologist and I had to get that for seven years. So in combination with developing the issue in 2019 and getting the treatments, the Botox injections into my vocal folds, I had to deal with that for eight years. And my last one, my, my last treatment was February 13th of 2020. So obviously that has worked its way out of my system now however.

20:08 It was the intersection. There's so many like intersections of the story because when that woman approached me, Sharon Spano, she approached me after hearing me tell my story. I was still tight, like you could hear it. I was still like, it was almost like it was hard to get the words out. She approached me anyway and shared, gave me her card and shit and the information. So I still wasn't ready. However, a little over a year and a half later, after I had this voice issue fully out of my system, I reached out to her and I said, OK, I'm ready. And she introduced me to her mentor, one of her mentors who's become my mentor.

20:48 And ever since I call in May of 2021, there, Andy has been no voice in the back of my head. So what that's evidence to me is that I'm doing exactly what I was put on this earth to do. Right, There's, there's that inner wisdom, that guidance. You're not being course corrected anymore cause 'cause you're doing it. Yeah, you're on the path. Yeah. Beautiful. And when we first talked briefly, you said something that that stuck with me that, that you saw that trauma survivors are shunned by society. Can can you expand on that? I think still to this day, if I see like any kind of a any kind of a disabled person or like anyone dealing with it, like walking with a, with a challenge like I can, I can tell has a challenge or someone who's going through an issue and is not just like everyone out like, Oh yeah, everything's great.

21:48 I actually commend them for that. And I, I say good for good for that person to, to be out to, to be like continuing to take their next step in life. And I, I think what society does is it's, it shuns people that, that have any kind of a traumatic event that that was what we were talking about briefly before, before I had this opportunity to be here. So I really, I mean, I believe that in my. Heart, I think you nailed it. And yeah, so it's the the the notion of general society sees someone struggling through some traumatic injury or accident and you know, at best ignores them, might might mock them, might not assist them. And but you see them, and you will you applaud them. Absolutely.

22:39 And and you know what, it's kind of coming back to me too. We can go, we can go in a little bit more depth here. So there are so many people that haven't, that haven't had that opportunity to go through a traumatic event, a life challenge or crisis or anything. And they say, oh, that's so sad. Look at that. I say the opposite. I was like, look, look at that. They're they're out. They're, they're not, they're not being held down by this. They're, they're continuing to move forward in life. They're not letting, they're not letting their traumatic experience, their life challenge or crisis hold them back from living their best life. Yep, and you know one thing I I that's that sticks with me too, from the step system of support, trust, energy and persistence. Everything except support is is up to you. So it really seems that that, you know, perhaps reclaiming ownership of your life is such a powerful aspect of all those steps.

23:40 Is is does does that make sense to you? Absolutely. And it does make sense. And just to provide a little color to this. So something that I go into detail within step and we only had I only had a the opportunity to show like a 10,000 foot view of it. Something that I go into detail within there is support is something that's that's within your control 100% because a lot of people and this comes up, this comes up like every interview or every other every other interview I talk about it, people say, oh, well, you know, lucky for you, you had family. I don't have family now.

24:22 One of the things I talk about within step is your support doesn't necessarily have to be your failed. It can be a close friend that you share everything with. It could be a neighbor or not really above. It can be just someone always checking on you and always wondering if there's anything that they can do. However, you're you're closed off to it. You're ignorant to it because you have this in your mind that it can only be failing. Support can come from everywhere, everywhere, everywhere in society. In, in one of your talks, I saw you speak about kind of the, the dangers of overwhelm that can lead to people kind of giving up, giving in fall into that, that victimhood sort of thing.

25:08 Do you do you find that there's a root source for for overwhelm today? I think that it's very easy to be overwhelmed when you look at anything, especially at the start of a start, at the start of anything. So you can call it life challenge, crisis, or trauma, or you can call it a starting a new business, or in your case, moving, doing, moving to a new house. You can think to yourself, Oh my God, that's so overwhelming because I have to do this, this, this, this, this. However, the the best thing, yeah, overwhelm is it, it's everywhere. It's it's around us.

25:53 However, the best thing that you can do to cure that is to take action. Just take your next step. Just take one step. And it doesn't even have to be a big step. However, just by taking that one step, your next step's always going to be available to you. So you must have had doubts, some brief point, you know, waking up, just finding yourself in the hospital. But so did did you ever have doubts and did they have developed into longer periods of of, you know, victimhood or depression? Of course I had doubts. I mean, come on. Yeah, Everyone, people. People hear my story and they think, oh, yeah, OK, you got an accent, You're in a cold and you ran out of the hospital.

26:37 Good for you. Must be nice. But of course, I had doubts. There was there was a point and there are there are a few points both within my snowboarding and then with my voice issue that I had doubts. And because I had an advocate with me at all times, I was able to keep moving forward. So my mom who was doing me every day, going to every therapy and doctor's appointment with me, I was in between therapies and I would have double sessions of physical occupation on speech therapy, after which you broke for lunch. So is that one of these lunches in my hospital room where I was in a wheelchair just looking over my situation and I just couldn't figure it out for whatever reason. I remember turning to my mom and asking, am I ever going to be able to walk again?

27:32 She didn't even hesitate. She said, of course you are. That's what we're doing here, seeing get everything back and me and go home step. So what this allowed me to do was that moment of doubt that I had was to keep moving forward. And that was the only from my snowboarding accident. That was the only moment of doubt that I can really remember. And it was during my going through my voice challenge because it was, I think I'm more proud of that Andy, because it was eight years that I had to deal with that. And once I, once I, once I got through it, I was like, all right, I, I have something here because I've used this twice during my life.

28:14 So I, I really have to be sharing this with everyone. But it was really in the beginning of that. And I was always looking for and reflecting and looking, reading my journals from 10 years ago because that's, that's a thing that I do just to see where I was and what I was dealing with. So I, I was having a hard time. I was looking for, OK, every Botox treatment, this is going to be it. This is going to be the thing that is going to fix everything. I'm going to be fine. And I just had that the wrong mindset at the beginning. And I can remember on one of my trips to Boston with my mom, because she would always go with me to be my supporting and be there and like take notes and because you have a lot of stuff going on in your head.

29:05 And I, I said to her, while, you know, the, the therapist wouldn't, couldn't tell me the answer I was looking for. I, I like kept asking, kept asking, kept asking. And she said, no, you, you just have to look at it from the mindset of I'm going to keep doing this and I'm going to keep getting better every day. And as long as you keep improving, which I believe my voice is still improving to this day, as long as you keep improving, there's there's nothing that you're doing wrong necessarily. As as long as you keep moving forward and keep getting better, there's really nothing that can stop you.

29:49 Yeah, it reminds me of AI. Think it's a Wayne Dyard quote, but the only, the only person you should compare yourself with is you. Yesterday. Yeah. So I I know you've gone on to do a number of half marathons and 10 KS. Did you ever tour, return to skiing or snowboarding? Yeah, yes, I have. And I actually think it was to, I don't know. I, I mean, I, right after my accident, I said, I said, I convinced my parents said, Oh, no, I, I'm not going to, because I was a snowboarding instructor before the accident at Ward Hill, a much smaller hill, not a mountain, but I was a snowboarding instructor.

30:30 So I convinced them that, oh, it's a good idea for me to like be around snowboarding and, and to help and everything like that. Well, temptation proved to be too much and I ended up stealing my friends or borrowing, let's put it that way. My friend snowboys and sneaky or run in here or there. And up until that point, my friends are like, Oh no, Nick can't snowboard on. He can't do it. If not, if he does, he's going to hurt himself. Once they saw that I could do it, they're like, oh, Nick's back. However, my mom found out and I came home one night and, and from being at the mountain and she was in tears, crying.

31:14 And once I saw that I was like, no, I, I, I can't do that. I, I just can't do that. Talk about your heart and nothing. But I was just like, I can't, I can't do that. So that was that was the last time that I had the last time that I did that. Well, it's great that it it's not your own. It wasn't your fear keeping you from doing it. It was your choice after. After you've proven to yourself that you could do it. But then you chose. You chose not to run, as Seinfeld would say. Yeah, I love that show and she's so happy. What happens to someone that's going through some trying, challenging times, doesn't have the support or doesn't doesn't believe they have the support might be the better way to say that. But what happens to someone who doesn't believe they have control of their own life?

32:01 This is what we were talking about earlier. So I think it's very easy for those people to shut down, to be overwhelmed and to feel like no one, no one's there to help them and support them because they've closed themselves off and they put themselves in this box that my support only can come from my family. However, it can come from anywhere. They shut down to that and they go within, they go inside of themselves. And that that's really the the hardest thing for people is because when that happens, they become stuck. So the best way to get out of that is to look, look outside of yourself and look who's willing to help you, who is your support, and then just take that step and just continue moving forward and continue taking your next step.

32:55 Is there always a next step? Of course, yes, that, that's, that's literally what I found. And actually, if we have time, I can talk about this a little bit. So after three years, after my accident, three years after running out of the hospital, I started seeing a naturopathic Dr. to rid my body of all the toxins and I went to him consistently. I would it was all based on your blood type. He was a naturopathic Doctor Who was all based on your blood type. I would take supplements, I would get a specific diet based on my blood type. And along with getting all of these treatments, so foot bath, hyperbaric chamber, colonic acupuncture, fango therapy, like all those, I would go and drive an hour, an hour and 20 minutes and get those every two to three weeks. I can remember in early 2009, I was sitting for review with one of those doctors and they were saying to me, you've done such a great job with sticking with the programs, sticking with the diet, and more.

34:01 Most importantly, getting all these treatments to rid your body of all the toxins. There's not much we can do for you. You can continue to come here for maintenance, however, kind of like the end of the line, so to speak. It was right around that time that I was introduced to Doctor Ming. Wu and Ming worked on me right at the dinner. He gave me Tweena right at the dinner that I had with him in March 2009 in Boston. And as soon as I had him work on me a little bit, I was hooked. I just saw him last week. I still see him weekly, a monthly.

34:43 Excuse me, I still see him monthly for to keep my energy and truth from able to impact and affect the most certain people possible. Long, long way of answering that. Once you're at the end of your step, your next step is always going to be available to you. Yes. Nick is Does anything stand out as one thing that you wish more men knew? It's been a journey. It's been a journey for myself with to be to be in touch, I guess you could say with my emotions and it's OK. It's OK to to feel.

35:24 And I've done I've done so, so much work one-on-one with a coach. I I've had the same like a different coach. I really, I really refer to her as more my energy coach. I've just done so much work with her for the past gosh, coming up on five years. So next month it'll be five years. I've done so much work with her and without her. I really cool. Who could say I I'd be here today? And that's because I've gotten vulnerable with myself and I've gone really deep on like all these little things, all these little issues in that from my past, like my childhood and everything like that.

36:11 But without doing that, I feel like I wouldn't really been eliminating myself. And you mentioned being proud earlier, so I want to ask right now, in this moment, what stands out as as the thing you're most proud of? I'm doing exactly what I was put on this earth to do that that's what I feel I'm I'm really living in alignment with wouldn't lie purpose. Awesome and as a coach, working people added that that out of alignment that people that think they have no purpose is just such a destroyer of life.

36:51 So I, I, you know, I love that you're putting your experience into service. I I find time and time again with so many guests I talked to that that anyone committed to service that that that continues your own healing as well. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Cool, I buy helping more people and and every and I was talking to you that I don't know why I've been on I've done interviews before and everything and one of your comments to me was, well, I don't want this to just be like a kind of a cookie cutter interview. And what's amazing to me is every time I share my story, it always depending on the audience and depending on the show, it always comes out a little bit differently. And I'm, I'm trusting that the reason for that is because that's exactly what that host, that show in that audience needed to hear in that moment.

37:50 I firmly believe that, you know, life happens for us and the universe is on our side and that you have had you've experienced countless miracles, divine intervention, you know, things to make sure that you follow your path, that you serve your calling and you're doing it. And you know, that leads to, in my experience, leads to a much more joyful life is you're finding that to be true. Yes, absolutely. Awesome, awesome, Nick. So I, you know, I love everything you shared and the step system and I really appreciate the simplicity of that. I, I find that so many people, it's almost like the ego wants, it wants them to be a difficult case. So they won't try the simple things, but the simple things have the most benefit I find time and time again.

38:35 Absolutely. And really, Andy, what we're able to cover today is just, it's just a 10,000 worth view of the step system. However, if you or your, your listeners want to want to download the whole steps sister for free, then go to nickprefontain.com/step. And that's going to cheat some all about support, trust, energy and persistence. And it's also going to help them take that first step today. Because I realized one of the things that we talked about is people feel almost like trapped or stuck buy overwhelm. And that's a great first stop for anyone in that position. Awesome, awesome.

39:16 So yeah, we'll definitely include that link in the show notes and at realmanfield.org. Is there any other best ways to to keep track, to learn more about you, to follow you on on socials? I am on LinkedIn and and also Facebook at this time. Yeah, but that's where I'm on all. Right. Great. We'll have links for those as well. Nick, I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to us today. I I love everything that you were doing, your personal story, your, your attitude, your energy. It's good and it's infectious. Oh, thank you. Right back at. Unity cool. So thank you listeners viewers for joining joining Nick and I today. Wherever you're discovering real men feel please give a like a follow share this episode with someone that would have it would make a big impact for you can always reach out to me at realmenfeel@gmail.com.

40:04 Visit Real Men Feel that org for the blog post for all the links and tools and references mentioned in this episode. And until next time, be good to yourself.