Positive Change in a Socially Distant World

0:00 Welcome to real men. Feel. I'm your host author coach, and healer and e-grant. I have to confess that I have been very frustrated and down lately. I didn't want to do this show today and I wavered about postponing it. I decided that being authentic and vulnerable could be the very best way that I can be of service. Today, especially considering the subject of today's episode. My guest. Today is Rick Warren. Ellis. Rick is a coach author. Positive change expert and founder of, I spark change, Rick shares, the importance of change, and what he sees, as the benefits of the pandemic, as well as the various masks of masculinity that too many men wear.

0:45 We both model the authenticity and vulnerability. I often speak of on this show and Rick shares. The most surprising thing. He's learned through his Awakening. Let's dive in Rick. As a positive change expert does, does that mean you've always been upbeat positive just happy-go-lucky and enjoyed life like all the time. Well, that's a good question. Question and at the name, actually comes where someone gave me that name because they were, they said I was such an expert in helping to teach others how to create positive change. But but as far as to answer your question Andy, I've always been a positive person.

1:31 I've always been a happy person despite many challenges in my life from the time. I was young to now, I've always kept it positive and always been I guess you know, the Last half full kind of person as opposed to the glass half. Empty. That, that's never, that's never been been me and and honestly, that that type of mentality, never really resonated with me. I just kind of never understood it back then, I understand it far more now than I did. You know, when I was younger, but you know, probably started out. When I was young to be just where I was a little probably confident and maybe too cocky when I was young, you know, and sports and stuff like that.

2:14 And then it transitioned to be, you know, just more of seeing the good in any situation, really cool. This would be very interesting because I'm probably the opposite. I grew up glass is definitely half empty and then no one can even fill. My glass was my experience growing up. And in recent years, one of the titles I use is that the king of authenticity, and that was something that someone dubbed on me, five years ago. And it took me years before first, I diced, could accept it. And so it was a good Thing and was worth, you know, proclaiming so when someone first called you apposite change expert? We like yeah, I am. This is great. Or were you kind of resistant to that? You know, I I wasn't necessarily resistant, but I just I guess I struggled with the word expert and because I was like, okay. Well, what does it take to become an expert in something, you know, like you think of like the 10,000, our principal and and those type of things and there's a kook a wolf. Am I an expert?

3:16 And then it's. So I decided to add it to my bio and everything because I said, you know, I'm going to come through with this and see what happens. And the more people, the more I spoke to others and the more it resonated with them and they felt that I knew what I was talking about it. So I was like, okay I can I can go with that go with it. So it's change important like what's wrong with things. Staying the same? So in my opinion changes were all the growth comes changes were the, you know, we become. We adapt, we learn to adapt. We become better in many situations.

3:58 We we learn to grow and to overcome obstacles. And, you know, changes. I always look at change as a good thing. So I look at it as a positive side, right? That the change is always good and that's not somewhere that I've always been, right. I mean, when you're, when you're faced with, with some obstacle, when I was younger, I get pissed off. I'd get upset, and, and all this stuff and, you know, And nowadays I've past years. I've come to where I realized that. I see them. I see the change and obstacles as opportunity. So I see it as an opportunity to, you know, to improve in some way. So I'm always looking to improve in some way, no matter what it is.

4:41 And that's just something that I work on constantly. Okay. So, every, every change in the world and Society isn't necessarily positive, but if it isn't positive, There's an opportunity to make Positive. Yes, and that's how that's how I look at it. So, for example, we take I live, I live near Houston. Okay, and we've had a lot of natural disasters if you will and in recent memory and Houston, we had that kind of Arctic freeze that happened. Last winter. We hurricane Harvey, you know, we have all these things that have come through here and even recently, you know, Ida recently losing everything and those are terrible and tragic events, right? The you'd say that.

5:23 This is something that this is not not positive for sure where I saw the positivity and I saw the change was in, for example, in Harvey, where people came out to support one another so much and they were just doing anything they could to help their neighbor. And, and we're going out and helping to clean out homes that have been flooded. And the people were so grateful. And and there was, you know, such love and positivity. And in all those actions that that's where, you know, it's kind of like when If you think of like a forest fire right in a forest, fire comes through and it burns down some thousands of Acres or whatever, but then you see all the new growth that comes out of it.

6:04 And usually stronger are usually stronger and more resilient and that's the way I look at him. Cool. Yeah, I like that and Anna do it. Anytime. There's negative circumstance happenings. It. Does it. Usually it brings people together that the best of humanity, usually Rises up and comes and helps each other and all those Things and I see that and I agree yet, you know, in 2021, in the United States of America. We I see more separation between people that than ever. So is there an opportunity that we were all missing? Or like, how do you explain kind of the this if you agree if you see separation as well?

6:45 Oh, yes, and I was not being as you're saying that because I see that, I see that very much. So Andy so much separation, so much. Polarization throughout the country. And I actually, I wrote an article. I don't know about maybe five or six months ago about the polarization of the United States and the division of people across the country. And you think about like, you know, the division between political parties and division between just you have that we have the pandemic in the division between, you know, people's beliefs on that and everything. And what I think I think that as a result of so just kind of kind of two sides to respond to what you're saying.

7:29 What I think is the result of that is that that so much of so much of this is perpetuated by the media and because of human evolution our brains and our bodies are designed to respond to negative stimulus, far quicker than we do to positive stimulus, right? Because you go back thousands of years and If we heard a growl or we heard loud footsteps, we had to be on high alert, right? And know if we had to like, you know, freeze fight or flight and and nowadays. We don't have that, right? We don't have to worry about that. But people are they're constantly getting that state of high alert because the media is like, oh there's this, there's that there's that there may be millions of positive stories out there that would squash that one, but people think that that's the one and then their response, they're kind of conditioned response is like, oh, I need to get defensive. I need Spawn.

8:23 I need to do something to that. And so to answer your question. What are we missing an opportunity? I think what a lot of people Miss is that that program response they get to to set in the okay. Someone said something is black and I think it's white. I need to respond and say that no rather than let me ask a question and find out more about what you're thinking. And let me take a pause and understand what you know, why are your beliefs and and and be fascinated by the differences between what we believe, right? And and that's where I think is, you know, just people are kind of that knee-jerk response.

9:03 Just it's like, so automatic that they're just so programmed and and that's what's missing. I guess is that pause, is that hey, let me help me understand where you're coming from. Help me understand your side when we look at things from your perspective. Yeah, go. Yeah, something I often say and I didn't, you know, it's been said for for Many decades hundreds of years. Perhaps I forget where this originated, but you can be right or you can be happy and it seems in times of heightened, alert and division, individuals groups, being. Right, is the most important thing. And in my life a long time ago, I gave up like, oh, I'd rather be happy once I realized there's the choice and I've been unconsciously insisting on being, right?

9:44 Even when being right, had me feel horrible and see the world and a horrible view. So what do you think about that is Is that an issue? This, I've got to be right, you're saying that I've got to convince the other person and we want to argue and fight. Is that is that the core? Well, I think I think a hundred percent. I think that's a big part of it and I'll speak from my experience. I've struggled with that myself. Is that, you know, when I was younger and I said, I was, you know, maybe over confident or cocky and, and my growing up. I mean, that's what I learnt. My that was a big source of contention between my parents is that my both of them had to be right hand. Got divorced after 18 years of marriage and, you know, so growing up in a home that were with your parents split and then when I was 14, I guess, but in the years that you know of arguing and everything like that that led me to have that same condition response like oh you got to be ready, got to be right and all that and it's been a growth constant growth constant working on myself for years.

10:52 To work on that. And I still struggle with it to this day and my wife would tell you that, that is the case. But, but when we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary this year and and we would have never gotten there. If I had kept the ways that I learned, you know, growing up. If I hadn't said, okay, I need to become a better person. I need to learn better ways to communicate and, and that's something that I work on every day. I've been working on all my life. I mean, I have a darn degree in communication and I still, you know, I work on that every day. Because I feel it's so important. You know, it's one of the most important things, you know, that we have as human beings is how we communicate. And so tip to, you know, just to wrap up in answering your question is that I think so many people. It goes back to that conditioning is they, they, they just have the desire that they want to be on top. You know, it's like that competitive thing. I want to be on top, you know, and the way to get me here is to put you here and then that's going to get me here, rather than thinking, like, well, what if we could just both be here and that would be a Far better place, right? We're both going to be up here in both both be happy, right? It comes from almost a, you can view the world as a place of lack or as a place of Plenty and we can cooperate or we can compete.

12:06 And again, it's so much is based in our our Outlook and our belief, on our mindset. Yeah, so much. It is, it is so true. And and I think the good thing, the good thing that you're right. There's been so much division recently. Right, one of the benefits that I see. So again, looking at the positive side of things, one of the benefits that I've seen from this, pandemic is kind of like, I was explaining with, with the hurricane earlier is one of the benefits I've seen from that pandemic. Is that there's been this huge almost, you know, rebirth for so many individuals that because they were myself included, because they suddenly had a bunch of time to analyze them.

12:52 Selves or they were in isolation. So they just had to reflect and decide what they're going to do. Because of all those things. It's led to a lot of individuals to realize like, hey, maybe there is that better path. Maybe we can work towards making the world a better place. And, I know, personally, I've encountered hundreds of people over the past 18, 20 months that are working on things. Like I am, that are okay. Let's make the world a better place. Let's see. Slip to spread positive change. Let's look to you know, help Humanity, get away from that polarization and you know, move more toward where towards where we're all supporting one another. Yeah, I couldn't agree more and I've been invited people throughout the whole pandemic to take the opportunity of this time of the to go within to grow to get clear on what you'd really do want.

13:46 So that's beautiful. And I also this may sound weird, but I'm really glad to hear you say that. You kind of still Juggle with things and they're you know, life life always has highs and lows. Yeah, because I'm, I'm in a low myself and I was telling before we started recording. I wavered between canceling. The show in recent weeks. I've just feeling really frustrated and the point of like, getting down. And I've I've been teary and like usually that's a sign for me like, oh I gotta Something's Got a blow. I really need to sob and twice last. Week, while praying I started sobbing and it felt like such a great release and like oh, I feel better than the next day won't happen again. Like oh, what's going on and then add few days of phyllo? Good, everything's that, clear.

14:34 Whatever it was. It's cleared. I'm good to go and this morning I just woke up wanting to just be isolated and hide and Retreat. And we only feel is all about reminding members a human and that being authentic and vulnerable and having compassion for yourself and for others. Is so important. So I was like I chose to take the situation and make it positive by coming here and talk to you. And it's again seeing that we were going to talk about, you know, divine intervention, and your book, and it 12 hours of heaven and all the good positive. Change your out for was like, this might just be the perfect thing to be of service people that listen to this because however much I grow. I can still have struggled like his other down day, but what's different for me?

15:22 I used to believe the down day. The the not feeling great was the truth of a capital T of life. And any time, I was happy, anytime. I was doing good. I thought, oh, that's the lie. I was tricked into thinking everything was going good for a while. So I was really again. Have you talked about your always been upbeat? I realize such always the reverse growing up so often when things come out and I'm empathic energy worker and like I can tell, what's going on isn't just me. It's the state of the world. It's a full moon today which adds to to my you know, emotionality. I guess it's my time of the month, you know, whatever you want to say it. But so I'm really glad to be here with you and I think it's important.

16:06 Anybody here that an expert in anything is always learning and growing because do you think that change stops as human beings is our change ever stop? No, I don't and I'd say, you know what you're explaining in. Is a perfect example of that is that we're all in constant change were all in constant growth and that's going to have the Ebbs and flows, right? That's going to have the ups and downs like you're talking about and I'm really grateful that you're you decided to come on. And I, you know, I can definitely appreciate the frustrations and the the lows like you're talking about because I have have them myself and the, you know, one of the things that really Oops, for me is to think of.

16:57 And then I was just discussing this with a friend last week where we were talking about, a difficult situation and he was like, oh, it's just like a, you know, it's a roller coaster, you know, likes roller coaster that you can actually say. And I said, yeah, because if it was flat, it'd be boring. Like who wants to go on a flat roller coaster? Like you, I mean, it'd be so slow and you know, it would there would be any excitement and he's like, he'd be a lot easier and I was like, yeah, but but you just have to know that after after every They're right. Then, there's going to come the peak and then there's going to come, you know, you're going to drop down and get the excitement of this, and then you go back up and then the Pinnacle here. And and then that, that's part of what we're all the change comes from like we're talking, but that's part of where all the growth comes from.

17:39 And I think, you know, I think it's necessary for us because I me the way I look at it is that if it was, if we were good all the time, you know. No, that it would just get too monotonous. They would it would get too boring and then we get upset at that, right? Then we'd be unhappy in that. That's like oh man. I need some variety. I need some spice in my life. You know, I need something right? Because it's just kind of like and so that's where I try to look at. The situation is like you're saying hey really frustrated about something really really struggling with something is that, all right? This is adding a little, a little spice to the the meal.

18:20 It's not going to be so Bland, you know. Going to taste better because it's funny. It's funny to bring up early. Like I'm a roller coaster. Junkie. I love amusement parks travel was, was at Six Flags, New Jersey, last month, going again for Halloween. And, you know, that's, that's my thing. And one thing I realized as a kid. I was really depressed, multiple suicide attempts, and I quickly realized that I can't be depressed on a roller coaster that first sale, like, are, you can't be, I can't be running down Hail to the first, you know, the first big drop and be like, oh no, I've got too many bills to pay. Oh, no, that girl didn't like me. I like it. I can't do it. So I don't know if that's part of the, I love thrill rides because they forced me to be in the moment. Well, when I was growing up, when again, when I was depressed and suicidal, I thought, just the world was just horrible. I thought I thought happy people were lying to themselves. I thought, I again being, right.

19:08 I thought I knew the truth that life sucks and we're all horrible and we don't deserve, which Humanity should just be done. And I thought happy people were flat. They were everybody everybody. That was happy was like constantly there likely be like Ned Flanders. Just Oakley. Lee everything. They're just so high, it felt fake and I thought they were lying, but I really thought that quote, unquote normal people were this was this flat static life and what I find it much like the roller coaster but almost like the stock market. Ideally now, heís, keep getting higher and your lows are higher than they used to. Because that's what that's what I find in my life, even like, being low, energy, and wavering and feeling weepy.

19:50 That's Milo day. Day, no, that's what when I was plotting my own demise. When I was begging God to show me a reason to stay alive. This is a picnic compared to those days. Yeah, and and that hmm. And it's interesting that that I've been sobbing during prayer. And I do feel like, for all of humanity, for the, we have this, this such an opportunity for positive change is right here. Right, right on the horizon. I just feel like that so much and it's also almost like my personal resistance or not believing or the comfort zone of that dirty half-filled cup that that kid is still in me somewhere, and it's almost like a sense of disbelief, but one thing's I know from from Story is, is the aspect of divine intervention.

20:45 Would, could you expand on that? What was your experience? How do you decide to call something that what was that like for you? yeah, thank you for sharing about the emotion because I have to have to say Andy that you know, I've been more emotional probably in the past few years of my life than I probably had ever been because You know, I mean you're younger than I am but probably not too far off an age, but, you know, we grew up in an era where you had to hide your emotions and, you know, taught like that kind of that militaristic, you know, leadership of, you know, being Macho and all this stuff. And, and that's not really, that's, that's not conducive to to growing as a human being, and having good positive relationships, right?

21:33 And that's something that I've had to work on in myself as well. You know, be more emotional. And I was trying this weekend about something about something myself. And, and, and I find that that being more in touch with the feelings. Really, really helps to have us. Give a deeper understanding of ourselves as a whole, and as far as the divine intervention. It came to fold for me really, and I'll start by sharing last year when I when I, as I was saying the quarantine started and people were shut down and you couldn't go anywhere and my business had slowed down and I kind of got anxious and depressed and isolated and wondering, what am I going to do? You know, I mean, I don't have any income coming in right now. What am I going to do and everything? I decided to pause and reflect on that and I said, okay. I'm going to try to use the time as an opportunity and that's why I wrote a Blog about using the quarantine as an opportunity to be grateful and to expand oneself and to help others and all these things.

22:47 Like I was talking about with what I had experienced like in another tragedy like in Hardin and so I said, okay I'm going to do I'm going to do those things myself and then I started writing at it reminded me of what had happened. Twenty years ago, which is where the idea for my book for 12 hours and haven't came from. And that's the original what I would call the divine intervention for me, which I didn't realize it at the time. In all explain, is that 20 years ago, when we were living in, Southern California, and I had my wife, and we had two daughters of the time, we understand been born. So they were one and four, and we'll coming back from a kid's birthday party in Los Angeles. It was about two hours south and they're driving on the freeway and it starts to just rain like whore.

23:31 Rain and living in Texas. I see that like every other day, but back then, it was just the kind that, you know, terrible storm that we didn't see in California and cars have pulled off the side of the road and we were still so far from home that my wife's like, you know, we can't stop because it's gonna get dark and meet me, it'll be worse, right? We need to continue on and and it didn't look like it was letting up and so we decide to continue on and we're driving in the slow lane just very slow and I hit a puddle and Start hydroplaning out of control and we start spinning. The car starts spinning, and we spin across three, four lanes to the left. And we nearly hit the center divider and then we're screaming and I'm trying to correct and we end up spinning the other direction across floor for lanes and we go off the shoulder up a dirt embankment and we hit a brick wall and we flip over and land on the wheels and the Rufus down. Smushed down to our heads in the Last is all cracked and that windows on the side or cracked and that sides, all smashed in and my daughters are now crying and there had been asleep. And you know, my wife is okay and my daughter's. Okay, and we crawl out and and I was like, you don't have a scratch on us and the car is completely totaled and a elderly couple had pulled over.

24:56 And the lady had wrapped a blanket around my wife and she's sitting there, you know, helping consoler in my wife's holding my little girls and just crying and thanking God. And I'm talking to the man gentleman in tells me how I called an ambulance, because I didn't think you'd get out of that car. And he said, that's the most incredible thing I've ever witnessed in my life, you know, in this guy's probably like 75 years old. So, he's not a young guy, right? And he's definitely had some experiences in life, and I was like, okay. Well, alright, and then, as I said, I was, you know, I was young and, and arrogant and Thinking. Oh, yeah, I'm macho guy like, you know, I don't need to get emotional over this. Well, then I go to they tow the car away and we get taking an ambulance.

25:41 And I go the next day to pick up our things at the impound, the impound yard and my Pontiac Grand Prix is sitting on a flatbed outside and I go inside of the office and say hey, I need to get my things out of that. Can I get them out of the back of that cards? You know, it's on the flatbed, and he's like, what are you talking about? And like the fanpage, son, flatbed, and he's like, that's not your car and I'm like, yeah, that's my car and he's like, no, the whoever's driving that car is dead or, you know, in the hospital and I was like, no, it's my car. And he's like, I can always tell what happened by the look of the car. And I was like, well, not this time because this my car, right? You show my ID and everything, and get my things, and over the span of a couple months. I really started reflecting on it because I was like and people look like one after another or like a miracle happened, a miracle happened.

26:28 Like, you know, you guys were protected, my mom gave me a little. Japan and said your guardian, angel protected you, you know, your guardian angel in your more meant to, you know, diet and everything and the kids and all that. and, That's where one day isn't looking at the little angel pin up in my car on my visor. I pinned it up on the visor and looking at that one day and that's where the idea for my book came from and I felt like, okay, maybe it was, maybe it was a miracle. Maybe it was divine intervention. And then it wasn't until last year when I was writing my book and I started writing in April and about June, I went through very methodically like and I know you're an author.

27:09 So I went through, I'm a cop methodically, like I'm gonna write 500 Words a day. Ames right for a couple hours every day, every funeral. Well I hit about June and I started going through this period of intense spiritual connection where I just felt like God. Like the Holy Spirit was here with me. And as I type, I felt like the story was just being given to me. Like I wasn't, it wasn't coming for me. Like, it was coming from a higher place from somewhere else. And then I started having dreams and visions and I wake up at all hours of the night with, you know, ideas and and like the idea for I spark change and all these different ideas and all these things that I felt like, okay, you need Do this, like I was being called you need to do this.

27:52 You need to do that at all these things. And and that's where I was like, okay. Okay, God, you know, I know it's taken me 20 years to get it to hear your message. But I, you know, I'm listening now. And I, okay. I had believe what you're saying and, you know, I believe that your you want me to do what you want me to do. And that's why I was like, okay, this, this is, this is divine intervention. Because, you know, if I didn't get the message, 20 years ago on the And I definitely was hearing in loud and clear now that you know, that he had some plans that I needed to to, you know, to follow follow through form. If one of the great things about life is we're never out of time.

28:36 And as long as I'm still breathing, we still have time. So if it takes 20 years, if it takes two minutes, like don't beat yourself up, but when you get it run with it, which is, which is what you did. So, so kudos to you and one thing you say to that, that I want to Circle back to That you said I'm a macho guy. I don't need to get emotional about this and it's like all those structures and rigidity and teachings of Macho and tough. And what it means to be a man. It's like all men were wearing, this thickest fakest mask long before the pandemic. And I really hope in your story and my story and the authenticity of every man, willing to be seen and heard that other guys here and feel and get That you can have your emotions and express them and even cry, and be open with your partner and your family, your kids and be successful, right?

29:29 It's not it doesn't mean you're down in the gutter because someone saw a few who you with a tear in your eye. Like you you had a miraculous experience, but it sounds like it took 20 years for you to accept that. Yeah. This is amazing. Miraculous. I'm gonna do something with this. Yeah, it really did. It really did and and I say, you know, if you think about what you're saying that all these guys are wearing this mask, right? And I think there's still plenty of them that are, but but one thing I think is that, I think in my case that God was kind of peeling that mask off a little bit at a time over the last 20 years. And because right after the accident as I have, so reflected, I wrote myself what I called it to do list for every day. As I realized, there's far more important things for me like, my family being present for my family, and being grateful, and being humble, and all these, this list that I wrote and I, and as I said, it was something that I wanted to abide by myself, right?

30:29 That's why I said was a to-do list every day, these things more going to I was going to follow. And so I think that was the start of him like, all right, we're going to peel off that mask, right? We're not ripping it off like a Band-Aid. You're not ready for that yet, but but we're going to start peeling off. And then over the years, over these 20 years, all the growth. I have going through. I've gone through the challenges as a parent. I have three daughters. I think I was given daughters for a reason, not Sons, because then if I had Sons, I would have, oh, you got to be a macho, right? I would have, I would have tried to do all, embed all those teachings that I had, as a, as a young, as a young man, but, you know, very nurturing and very loving with them.

31:14 And that's developed those traits in me over the past 20 years to where, you know, I think finally, you know, if the mask isn't gone that it's almost completely gone to where I can be emotional to where I can share my feelings, be authentic, and I really have nothing, you know, nothing to hide with anyone. And yeah, I think it was just, it's just was just a slow process of Peeling, that off. Awesome. Awesome. Well, good for you that you allowed the peeling and welcomed. What was underneath it because that, you know, there's gonna be a lot of, you know, I'm sure I've resisted God back and forth another about, you know, but it's a, you know, life is a dance of contrast of highs and lows and this too shall pass is a cliche.

32:02 I hated as a kid, but, you know, it's true and it's valid. No, so true. Yeah, I was, you heard those when were younger, you hear those cliches that, you know, quote unquote. Old people say and then you're like, now I'm the old guy and I'm saying all those things that's cliches. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because I mean, most cliches are rooted in truth, but they get. So it's easy to just do plan to blow it up. But if you stop and like, oh, wow. Yeah, it's happening. I'm living that cliche. No, so you said the, the car accident that you you and your whole family survived without a scratch. 20 years ago, became the inspiration for the book, but your book 12 hours of Heaven is not about a car accident, right?

32:43 Tell me, tell me. About the book. So the book is a is a fictional story. And as I was saying earlier, when I was looking up at that angel in one day and I having a maybe a Daydream, if you will parked in my car. I put on the visor. Like I said and all of a sudden the story for the book, hit me like a move like I had just watched it, you know, you come out of movie and you got it all fresh on your head. Like I had just seen it and I had it very clear in my head. And actually, at that time, I did type out like a To Paris, you know, maybe maybe a page on, you know, word page, something like that and I lost it on some old computer. Who knows what happened to it? Well, the the story is about an angel that is sent down from heaven and he sent down to help some people on Earth and on Earth.

33:34 He helps them. He helps 10 people with the difficult challenges that they have in their lives. But the reason it's 12 hours in heaven is because he finds it. Himself trapped in an elevator with these 10 individuals and over the period of the 12 hours that they're trapped overnight. He's able to help them all through the, through the challenge that they have and, and I don't know exactly, you know, I said it just came to me like a movie and I don't know, I think it was because I think the reason it came to me that way for the reason it developed into my book 20 years later. Is because the subtitle is lessons for a better world than these are the different challenges that he helps them through is because those are many of the things that I've learned over over my life, you know, over the past 20 years and Beyond. And these are all these are not new. They're things like practicing gratitude or being present or having faith.

34:35 And these are all things that are have been around for, you know, Millennium right for a long time and have been taught by people far greater than Than I am, and it's just, it's put in a, it's put in a vehicle where people can relate to it. People can understand the characters, and they can see what they're going through and and see their authenticity and their vulnerabilities and, and seeing, you know, their Mass peeled away if you will and, you know, getting to a deeper place for themselves. Super. Yeah. And much like our discussion about experts. Then you know none of us can teach something we haven't experienced yet.

35:19 So the fact that it's been around familiar. Yeah, and it's been around for Millennia because more people need to live it experience and share their experience. Like no one can argue with your experience. It's yours. It's not like a someone else's lecturer a book or a video that we can debate. The meaning of like know here's what happened. I learned this from this and I'm not going to share it via this fictional story. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And and I think I think apart Of it is, you know, it also was to birth what I'm working on now because as when I was writing, that's where all those ideas were coming from where I said, ideas and dreams and Visions, all these all these ideas of pay, you need to do more work, Rick like you're not just here to write this book. Yes.

36:03 The book can Inspire some people. Yes, the book can provide them some hope or teach them something that they can utilize in their life. That you need to do far more beyond beyond that to help others. And that's why I think it was, you know, it was a good segue for me into the different things. I'm working on now, and I know one of those at least one of those is the isobaric change could community. So it can tell me about that. So I swear changed Community is it's about spreading positive, change and empowering individuals to show them that they're part of Of a community that they're part of a group of people that can Elevate their social impact and that you're not alone, right? That you can make a difference that one person can change the world and it's a theme that that is woven throughout throughout 12 hours of Heaven about, you know, initiating positive change.

37:05 And that ripple effect if you will of no actions on how those can can spread and And develop into something beautiful and so nice car change, you know, movement organization. If you will group, I guess it's a lot of different things, but it's all about providing people a vehicle, providing the visuals a vehicle where they can you join the community? They know that, hey, these are people that want to improve the world and it's the precursor to what we're building in the next few years to have the world's first social media platform. That is %, geared towards connecting individuals groups, clubs, organizations, nonprofits.

37:50 It doesn't matter, but all these individuals that are spreading positive change, that are making the world a better place. And if you think about it, there's hundreds of thousands or millions of groups like that spread across the globe. They're all very fragmented, you know, if you think of nonprofits and I know I've worked with many nonprofits and I know some folks that run nonprofits and They're very isolated because they're always worried about. Okay, we need to get our donors and we need to support our cause and and and it's it's not really top of mind for them to be helping the other hundred nonprofits that are in, you know, their immediate geography, right. And what what we're creating and I spark change is going to be a community where everyone will support one another, what everyone will provide resources and tools and knowledge and education to others that are out there in the community where you'll be able to find people that are interested in, you know, so for example, your podcast that may provide a an educational benefit for people out there that don't have other resources in that regard or that may provide a way for them to get in touch with your feelings there. It is, but it's just to have one place where people can search and find these different things and and know that there are not alone if there's people that are

39:21 working to make the world better. Yeah. The thing is, it comes from positive and negative experiences that we all tend to, you know, can isolate. And even if we're trying to improve the world Waco and the only one perhaps, or we feel like the world is miserable and we're the only person going through these difficulties and it's easier to go. I'm the only one doing this. But, yeah, Community Connection, I think it's something that A human's yearn for like it's a basic need and things like the pandemic and forced isolation and and political division. Separation makes that harder to get. Yeah. Yeah, you're absolutely right everything. He said, I agree with 100% is that that those stories and those experiences that we go through, are what connect us as the human species, right? As the human tribe.

40:09 The you know, the whole tribe of this Earth that you go back. Thousands of years when you were a little tribes and the worst thing that someone could have happened to them was to be, outcasts was to be out of the tribe in to be isolated and alone. And we've all been in that. Like everyone in the world has been in that situation. Like we all got Outcast from the tribe of humanity, for a short period of time where we all had to be, you know, in our house for weeks, or months, or whatever it has been and we need that. We need that human connection. That's how we Thrive. That's how we grow. And Or bright positive and negative. All the emotions are what stimulate the growth and that's why we're hoping to connect to connect all these people to show them that. Yeah, you're not alone, whether it's good or bad. You're not alone.

40:59 There's millions. Billions of people that are going through similar things that you are and that's where the connection, you know, the connection comes. Yeah, you know, I love, you said about the fear of being an outcast because I That is especially true for men. As I so many men will, oh, you're pretending to be macho or you're paying your dinner with emotions. All right, I'll pretend to. So we all know we have this community of people pretending to be something else and because we, you know, we yearn for the respect and the camaraderie and and there's a depth that we aren't getting when we're just at this surface level of sharing the same mask only but yeah, so true. So true through your Awakening has something stood out as kind of the biggest surprise to you that you've earned. The biggest surprise you, that's an interesting question. Nobody's asked me that Andy, I'd say the biggest surprise that I've learned over the past, you know, 18, 20 months has been, I guess it'd be what I what I was sharing earlier is that there's so many people that have gone through similar Awakenings, if you will, that I have.

42:13 There's so many Jewels that I, you know, connect with people I've connected with people from all over the world and they'll tell me. Oh, yeah. Well, I had a story in this end. There's so many similarities to their stories, you know, whether they had some tragedy or something happened and you know the growth that came out of it in the change and what they're working on and and I mean it was a it was a welcome thing to find out. There's so many others that are you know in the same boat. You know, we're all going in the same direction. We're all trying to trying to get to a more positive environment. But at first, I went through those feelings like those condition feelings.

42:55 Like, okay. I'm going to try to change the world, and I'm going to do it by myself. I, and I even said in a video, I even said early on, when I kept all that spirituality and everything. I was going through, I picked it all myself and it wasn't until I finished my book that I'm like, okay. Now I feel this urge to share, like, I didn't even share with my wife. I didn't share with any felt so private and personal and maybe I was afraid, maybe I was afraid that people will judge me here. But but when, when I felt this urge to share, I even shared in that video, I said, this is something I'm going to work on for the rest of my life. Even if nobody else works on it with me or even if I'm going it alone. I'm committed to doing this, right? I'm Kai feel called and I'm going to go do it. So even then I was like, okay.

43:41 I'm a nobody ever met ever, help me, but I'm gonna Do this. And then over the past year and a half where you start talking to people and you're like, oh, I'm working on something similar. You know, I have a podcast like yours where I'm trying to help people, and, and then you realize, okay. There's, there's lots of people that are doing this and that's okay. That's what I was. That's what I was hoping. That's what I was told. That's what God was like, hey, you're gonna, you're gonna be able to put these things in place and connect with people? But then, of course, being a human. You're like, okay, you have your doubts and you try to go on faith. Okay, I'm gonna go on faith. Like I'm like, I'm preaching. So that's bit a been. I'll say it's been a surprise even though I should have known better.

44:24 Maybe that's it. That's the not surprising thing. We keep have to learn is, I should know better. Yep. I didn't know that, but I wasn't doing it and because I find for me, I know about something. It's in my mind when I really know it. I'm living it. I'm sharing it. I'm asking for help. I'm out there doing so. So, faith and gratitude. All super. Powerful needed, but without action. It's wasted. Yeah. Yeah, that's so accurate. And I would say I was probably that person that was, that was, you know, talking the talk, but not walking the walk for a long time, you know, for four years even. So I finally got to a place for. Okay. Now you're going to you're going to definitely do what you're saying.

45:07 Yeah. And again, I don't think there's some Judgment of time or restriction. Again, as long as you're here, you've got time to figure it out and to take that. Action to go. Yep, enough's enough. And, you know, I've been feeling like the pushing through the slog of this thing. I'm supposed to do, but fear is battling against it. But yeah, beautiful and I'm so glad to that they were having this conversation and that you're doing the work that you're doing and and listened to all those that that drive and that calling. Is there. One thing that you wish more men knew. It's probably what we've been talking about is that they don't need to wear that mask, is that they that they can be vulnerable and they can be be authentic. I even said, you know, I was on a different podcast last week and I said, yeah, and need to be vulnerable and the host was like whoa.

45:57 Whoa, whoa, you're you know, dropping that word like men are going to be freaking out and they're gonna you know, they're gonna start writing, you know, I mean, he didn't say that but he was like, well, it's really long like, for you to throw that around and And I think it's just that, you know, for guys, guys, that grew up in that generation. Like I said, and that error where you were, you taught, you have to be strong and Macho, and meaning. And that meant, like, you can't shed a tear that meant you can't show emotion. That's how I was. That's the, the error that I grew up and and so I think for men to realize and and I've connected with a lot of them and I have Many friends that are they realized it? And that's probably why we're good friends at this point, is that?

46:50 That's, that's wrong. If that's, that's old school thinking. Like, that's not, that's not gonna get you. Those genuine beautiful relationships. And like, if you want to really be like you, like, you just said, if to be living it, and feeling it, if you want to really be living and feeling, you got to shed the mass, you have to be vulnerable. Be authentic, be all. Those those characteristics that you were afraid of when you were, when you were younger. And that's where you'll have. That's where you'll have the, the the most growth in the most benefit and you'll be the happiest and, you know, the most enriching experiences and, and relationships and, you know, right on.

47:33 Yeah, and if this is just hitting me now, as you went through all that and shared that, you know, our insistence are not being seen as weak as not being vulnerable. Makes us so much more vulnerable to stress and depression and anxiety, and early death, and disease, and a life of misery. And that's what we're making by. Not letting someone know that we have feelings or, you know, admitting to the world. Like yeah, I'm not Superman or even just the oldest jug about men. Like I'm lost. I need to ask for directions, but I'm not because I'm a man. I'm just going to keep going even though I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'll never said it out loud to somebody and that that to me that vulnerability can be that silly. Right. It's like it's not a end of the world and the end of masculinity.

48:16 Again. It can save, masculinity can dis can save men. Yeah. It's so true. And even going back to what we were discussing earlier about the the being right versus being happy is that if you know men and and you know, women to and individuals just in general realize that they can share how they're feeling without. Can someone else's feelings and without belittling someone else, and you can have open dialogue. Then? That's where the beautiful world comes in. That's where all the growth comes in. That's where where people realize like. Oh, here's a pretty cool. Like, this is, why don't we do more of this?

48:58 You know, why don't we, why don't we stop doing the old, the old ways because you know, we're just not getting anywhere with with those ways. And yeah, and why do we welcome change change? What about why? Why do we as as a species as a gender? Under, welcome that positive change at the individual. It's all there. And from personal experience, life is a, heck of a lot better when you jump into the change when you lean into the things that you fear. It really is. Yeah, it is. And and you know, speaking from someone who has learned it the hard way over my 50 years on this planet. It one one, good thing that I've seen in in some younger people, some of the Work that we've done.

49:43 I start change has been with like gen Z and some of the younger Generations is that a lot of the they seem more in touch with their feelings and they seem more open to their feelings. So that's a very, very positive sign that, okay, as you know, some of these Generations age that they will start to spread some of the things we're talking about and there will be some change positive change, you know, in that direction to where, you know, the kind of that Old school thinking dies off, if you will, you know, I mean, no pun intended, but it eventually dissipates. And then more of the, this better way, better mindset, better way of sharing your emotion, and being open to others. Starts to take root.

50:33 Yep. I see it every day. So I there's no doubt. It's taken root from my view of the world. But Rick, this has been fantastic. For me, I'm sure if everyone listening. What's the best way that people can get in touch with, you find out more about all the great things that you are up to the best way? Is that is to just look for. I spark change and that's the, that's the letter, i spark change and that can be, I spark change.com, it can be Iceberg, change on Facebook on Instagram, on Twitter, Youtube. We're on all the different platforms. And if they go like that, they'd say, follow us on Instagram, or Or join the Facebook group, they'll see daily inspirational content, motivational content, spiritual content, that's shared on a regular basis.

51:21 If they go to the website, they can join our community and be notified as we're growing with social media platform and the different things that were evolving there. We're actually about to launch a totally redesign totally new website with a lot of cool things in the, in October, where we'll have, you know, we've been doing our Social impact Spotlight, series of different people that are spreading positive, change that we find on social media, but we'll have our social hero hero Spotlight, and these cool things that will be rolling out to show some of the people around the world that are, that are doing your spreading positive change and are making a difference. Awesome.

52:03 Awesome. So great to hear about that. Look forward to seeing it all, again, from above my heart, Rick. Thanks for joining us today and sharing everything that you're up to and your story. Thanks everyone for listening. Ooh us wherever you are, wherever you're discovering the real. Men feel let other people know, post, a comment and review, share the someone else. Share this with a guy that needs to know that it's okay to feel it. Actually, his life will get better if he feels and that positive change is a good thing and that all change can have a positive door into it. Everything has opportunity. You can reach out to me, anytime at real men, feel at gmail.com., I'd love to hear from you. If you want to explore, what life might be like for you to step into your authenticity and vulnerability. I read a book a free call with Me, visit the Indy Grant.com talk.

52:45 Until next time. Be good to yourself.