Purpose & Respect | What Do Men Really Want?

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Hello and welcome to real men
field.

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I am your host author coach and
healer and e-grant.

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You can learn more about me at
VA and grants.com.

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Real Mencia reminds men that
they are human and have the

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right to experience and express
all of their emotions.

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We have conversations that most
men are not having but that all

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men can benefit from.
I recently came across a New

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York Times opinion.
Piece titled, men need purpose

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more than Respect by David
French.

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Now I don't read opinion piece.
Has enough to know if I've ever

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read anything by mr.
French before but I agreed with

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that headline.
So I dove in the article was

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written in response to a viral
tweet written by another man

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that I do not know, conservative
podcaster, Matt Walsh.

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He's at Matt Walsh blog on
Twitter.

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His tweet stated all a man
wants, is to come home from a

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long day at work to a grateful
wife and children, who are glad

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to see him and dinner cooking on
the stove.

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This is literally all it takes
to make a man happy, we are.

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Simple.
Give us this and you have given

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us nearly everything.
We Need.

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I don't believe mother that
simple.

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If you don't have a grateful
wife, children and dinner

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waiting for you.
Well, maybe you might think that

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is all you need, but humans are
creative and expansive

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creatures.
There's always more happiness

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from the same thing day after
day.

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Quickly wears off.
I shared that tweet in the

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private, real men, feel
Facebook, group, visit real men,

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feel dot org, slash group.
If you want to be part of that

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and I asked what other men
thought.

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One man pointed out that
including nearly at the end, is

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him backing off his big claim of
all at the beginning.

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Another wrote, I'm not trying to
sound too disapproving because

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yes, that's of course.
Something that would make me

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happy.
But like, man, it would be

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awesome if my wife didn't have
to work, but I don't know many

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houses that are single income
and taking care of a house, is

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96 hours a week, so I'm being
outworked.

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Am I okay with that?
Do I Want My Wife and Kids

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grateful or do I want them
authentic?

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If I have to make, if I have to
make that decision, I'll choose

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the latter, is that what she
wants?

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Or she performing a service out
of indebtedness.

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I've seen many people say that
women want love while men want

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respect.
So let's define respect the

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Oxford.
Dictionary says, respect is a

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feeling of deep admiration for
someone or something elicited by

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their abilities qualities, or
achievements.

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So respect is something we get
from others.

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We can't control what others
think of us or how they treat

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us.
So anything relying on others, I

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find it's on Shaky Ground to
begin with.

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So in the original article,
David French wrote, I raise this

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because an overwhelming amount
of evidence from suicide to drug

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overdoses to education.
Achievement gaps indicates that

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millions of men are in crisis
and simply put while many men

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demand respect what they need is
purpose and the Quest for

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respect can sometimes undermined
the sense of purpose that will

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help make them whole to put it
more simply still what men need

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is not for others to do things
for them.

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They need to do things for
others, for spouses, or

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children, for family, and
friends, and colleagues, and

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quote, if my self-worth doesn't
come from within, I don't really

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have any if my self-respect
requires respect from others,

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then I have none on my own I'm
chasing the approval and

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feedback of other people.
Let people respect you because

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you have integrity, because you
are kind, you value yourself,

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and others.
You make a positive impact on

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the world.
Demanding respect demanding

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respect from others can get you
a lot of false respect people

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can act like they respect you
just so you'll go away and the

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illusion of respect could
actually be rooted in pity or

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fear.
But if you have purpose, if you

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decide your life and actions
have meaning, you will be

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happier, you will radiate joy
and that will be noticed

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appreciated and respected.
So men might say they want

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respect what they need is
purpose.

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I believe that men who insist
that respect of others is the

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most important thing.
Well, they don't have the guts

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to say what they really want and
need is love.

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Of.
I'll close with the final bit

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from mr.
French's, original piece.

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Virtuous purpose is worth more
than any other person's

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conditional and unreliable
respect.

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It is rooted in service and
sacrifice, not entitlement.

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And those qualities bring a
degree of meaning and joy, far

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more important than the gifts
that others, The Grateful spouse

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who cooks dinner, the
implausibly reverential children

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can ever offer.
What we do for?

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Others is infinitely more
rewarding than what we asked

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them to do for us.
Us.

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I could not agree more.
Thank you for listening, please

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visit real men, feel dot org and
see the blog post for this

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episode.
It will have all various links

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mentioned and resources
discussed if you want to

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explore, what you if thank you
for listening, please visit real

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men field at org and see the
blog post for this episode which

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will have all the various links
and resources discussed if you

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want to explore what you really
need book, a free Clarity call

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with me.
Visit v&e, Grant.com, talk So

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until next time, be good to
yourself.

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So until next time, be good to
yourself.