Purpose & Respect | What Do Men Really Want?

0:01 Hello and welcome to real men field. I am your host author coach and healer and e-grant. You can learn more about me at VA and grants.com. Real Mencia reminds men that they are human and have the right to experience and express all of their emotions. We have conversations that most men are not having but that all men can benefit from. I recently came across a New York Times opinion. Piece titled, men need purpose more than Respect by David French. Now I don't read opinion piece. Has enough to know if I've ever read anything by mr. French before but I agreed with that headline. So I dove in the article was written in response to a viral tweet written by another man that I do not know, conservative podcaster, Matt Walsh.

0:46 He's at Matt Walsh blog on Twitter. His tweet stated all a man wants, is to come home from a long day at work to a grateful wife and children, who are glad to see him and dinner cooking on the stove. This is literally all it takes to make a man happy, we are. Simple. Give us this and you have given us nearly everything. We Need. I don't believe mother that simple. If you don't have a grateful wife, children and dinner waiting for you. Well, maybe you might think that is all you need, but humans are creative and expansive creatures. There's always more happiness from the same thing day after day.

1:28 Quickly wears off. I shared that tweet in the private, real men, feel Facebook, group, visit real men, feel dot org, slash group. If you want to be part of that and I asked what other men thought. One man pointed out that including nearly at the end, is him backing off his big claim of all at the beginning. Another wrote, I'm not trying to sound too disapproving because yes, that's of course. Something that would make me happy. But like, man, it would be awesome if my wife didn't have to work, but I don't know many houses that are single income and taking care of a house, is 96 hours a week, so I'm being outworked. Am I okay with that? Do I Want My Wife and Kids grateful or do I want them authentic?

2:15 If I have to make, if I have to make that decision, I'll choose the latter, is that what she wants? Or she performing a service out of indebtedness. I've seen many people say that women want love while men want respect. So let's define respect the Oxford. Dictionary says, respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities qualities, or achievements. So respect is something we get from others. We can't control what others think of us or how they treat us. So anything relying on others, I find it's on Shaky Ground to begin with. So in the original article, David French wrote, I raise this because an overwhelming amount of evidence from suicide to drug overdoses to education. Achievement gaps indicates that millions of men are in crisis and simply put while many men demand respect what they need is purpose and the Quest for respect can sometimes undermined the sense of purpose that will help make them whole to put it more simply still what men need is not for others to do things for them.

3:27 They need to do things for others, for spouses, or children, for family, and friends, and colleagues, and quote, if my self-worth doesn't come from within, I don't really have any if my self-respect requires respect from others, then I have none on my own I'm chasing the approval and feedback of other people. Let people respect you because you have integrity, because you are kind, you value yourself, and others. You make a positive impact on the world. Demanding respect demanding respect from others can get you a lot of false respect people can act like they respect you just so you'll go away and the illusion of respect could actually be rooted in pity or fear. But if you have purpose, if you decide your life and actions have meaning, you will be happier, you will radiate joy and that will be noticed appreciated and respected. So men might say they want respect what they need is purpose.

4:42 I believe that men who insist that respect of others is the most important thing. Well, they don't have the guts to say what they really want and need is love. Of. I'll close with the final bit from mr. French's, original piece. Virtuous purpose is worth more than any other person's conditional and unreliable respect. It is rooted in service and sacrifice, not entitlement. And those qualities bring a degree of meaning and joy, far more important than the gifts that others, The Grateful spouse who cooks dinner, the implausibly reverential children can ever offer. What we do for? Others is infinitely more rewarding than what we asked them to do for us. Us.

5:28 I could not agree more. Thank you for listening, please visit real men, feel dot org and see the blog post for this episode. It will have all various links mentioned and resources discussed if you want to explore, what you if thank you for listening, please visit real men field at org and see the blog post for this episode which will have all the various links and resources discussed if you want to explore what you really need book, a free Clarity call with me. Visit v&e, Grant.com, talk So until next time, be good to yourself. So until next time, be good to yourself.