Rebuilding Yourself | Being The Best Man You Can Be

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Hello, and welcome to Redmond
field.

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This is author.
Coach and healer and he Grant,

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you want to learn more about me.
Please visit the integrand.com,

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real men.
Feel invites you to redefine

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what masculinity means in
today's world.

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We remind men that they are
human beings and have the right

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to experience and express all of
their emotions.

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We have conversations that most
men are not having, but that all

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men can benefit from now the way
early in Spring often a time of

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renewal growth and ideally
flourishing, I know that in my

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life, I've often had to renew
to, to prune my life to weed out

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the shit in my mind often in
order to reinvent myself, to be

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the best man that I can be.
My guest today.

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Teddy Woolsey it took action
when his life needs an overhaul

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and created a system that helped
him.

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And now he uses that in service
to others, Teddy is the founder

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of rebuild Fitness and also
works full-time as a tech sales

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executive, he coaches his
clients how to sustainably lose

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fat, build muscle and find the
balance between hard work and

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joy and there.
Lives.

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Welcome to real men.
Feel Teddy It is great to be

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here.
Andy, thank you very much.

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So I love that.
You focus on Joy because I think

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that's something that most men
don't consciously, think of

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that.
They are worthy of joy that Joy

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belongs and their experience has
have you all known that is Joy?

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Something that was always a part
of your life or it's a, it's a

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weird thing to go through and
almost I was, I was brought up

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in a religious household where
discipline learning And really

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just do the to the world was
pressed for Good Reason by the

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way those are great things to do
good to the world but the

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personal enjoyment can be
suppressed at times in the

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messaging there and you can
start adopting as a man in

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particular where your value.
You're not really born with

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value.
In society's eyes, you have to

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earn it.
You have to create it and which

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is a false narrative.
It's something that we need to

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overcome, but it's something
that a lot of men including

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myself have always felt I need
to create.

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I have to earn.
I have to build in order to be

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worthy of people's time and
attention and respect.

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So while that that has brought
me to develop and create and

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build, a lot of great things
that I'm very proud of and I'm

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really thankful for those
qualities and characteristics.

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It definitely has left me with
feelings of anxiety and

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frustration, when I am not doing
enough or I'm not if I feel like

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I'm not worthy of somebody in my
in my own eyes so I made it a

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conscious thing too.
Really Implement things that I

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find valuable, and enjoyable and
life-giving in every day and in

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every week, and every
relationship, but I have, and

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it's not there.
I refined the schedule.

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I refined my relationships on a
regular basis to make sure that

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that those - sources are weeded
out and I am welcoming in new

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sources of life-giving
activities.

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What happened in your life to
make you realize that you had to

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make this?
Effort to change how you living.

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Yeah, when I was about 29
approaching 30, I was in a

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long-term relationship with my
ex and I was, I was working

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full-time.
I was sort of directionless in

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life as to what I wanted to do.
I've even done a podcast once

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before and, you know, Sunset
that and just kind of like, I

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want to do something fun.
I want to feel more fulfilled

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but I wasn't, I wasn't quite in
shape.

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I wasn't quite so.
Successful, I wasn't quite happy

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in my relationship.
I was just there, you know, the

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dreaded mediocre and once I
realized that I had a dependency

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in my relationship, for my
happiness and all these other

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factors that weren't really
going, for me, I had a crisis on

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my hands when that relationship
started to fall apart and I

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basically had this moment when I
looked in the mirror after a

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shower, Or and his kind of like
one of those classic 80s movies

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where you look into there's like
steamer on the mirror and just

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like you like wipe your face
clean and you look at yourself

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and you thinking like, who are
you, man?

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Like this is not what you were
meant to be and this is not like

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what you're capable of and it
was a really sobering moment and

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I'm not going to say my life
changed, right from there was a

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process after the fact.
But I basically knew in that

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moment that I was not satisfied
with what I want.

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Or what I, what I have reached
in life.

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Because I hadn't created a
system of that activity and

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habits that really would
contribute to a different life.

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I mean, my life, the way it
looks was a product of what I

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did in a daily basis.
So I realized I've got to change

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my schedule.
I have to change what I do

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regularly and okay well how do I
do that?

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And what do I do?
There were two main things that

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really helped me.
One, was the miracle morning by

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Hal Elrod.
It was a book basically where

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you do Seven things it's called
the acronym is Savers.

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You sit in silence or you
meditate, you recite

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affirmations, you, these stands
for you visualize your future,

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you exercise?
You, you read and then you

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scribe or you, right?
So I did that, whether it was 45

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minutes or an hour and a half
every morning, I did that and

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basically like added to my
self-help bucket every single

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day but I chose activities
during that period.

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Of time that I knew I needed to
do the most, which was get my

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finances in order.
Get myself in shape, really sort

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of get my house in order
physically as well as

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financially spiritually,
intellectually, Etc.

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So that those two things really
set off a completely new life

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and I just followed through on
it into my life.

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Looked it, look differently, and
it was basically 100K in debt

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out of shape.
Depressed, failing, relationship

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to not even what I was a year
and a half later.

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Was completely out of debt.
I was earning three times.

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What I was learning earning
before?

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I was in a new relationship with
someone who's just wonderful and

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I'm now married to her and she's
the love of my life.

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We're living in New York City
and you know 28th floor

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overlooking Manhattan.
It's just it's just a wonderful

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amazing life because of this new
system that was implemented and

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I can get into more detail about
what those things are and how to

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do that in your own life, but I
just can't even express enough

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how important it was to take
stock of where I was.

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Take stock of where I wanted to
go and just create a system that

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was made up of actionable items.
Real life, things that you have

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to do on a regular basis to
actually see change in your

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life.
Awesome, awesome.

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I'm, I love hearing of
turnarounds, but that drastic

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turn around, and, and frankly,
that showed of a period of time

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is quite impressive.
So good for you.

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Thanks, Mom.
Prior to that experience.

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You mentioned adding more to
yourself.

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Help.
Bucket was there a self-help

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bucket before this?
This.

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Definitely definitely.
It's not I have always wanted

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to, I'm not curious, right?
I want to get better, I want to

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be better but it's there's, you
know, sometimes your environment

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doesn't posture that sometimes
your circumstances sort of hold

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you back and you have to make
adjustments to that, or

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sometimes you just don't want
it, right?

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You don't want it badly enough
at that time, things are

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comfortable enough that you feel
like hey I'd rather stay in the

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comfortable discomfort then,
pursue something new that could

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possibly Create more problems
for me that, I don't know and

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that I hadn't reached that
threshold yet.

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And so and so life sort of
forced itself upon me and that

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way.
Did you realize that your

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happiness was so dependent on
your girlfriend before she ended

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it?
Absolutely.

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That was that was something that
I'm sure a lot of men and women.

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For that matter can attest to
when you have a dependent

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relationship on someone the The
good days are great.

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The bad days are horrible.
And it's, it's such a volatile

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way to live regardless of
whether or not you are with

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them.
So when I realized Through a lot

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of introspection.
Honest conversations people, I

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knew I couldn't trust that I had
to make myself better regardless

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of whether I was going to stay
with her or things were going to

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not work out.
That was the first day of the

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rest of my life.
And obviously, we didn't work

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out, but it was, it was a
wonderful wonderful thing to

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feel that sense of Crisis.
Even though I didn't know at the

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time, it was honestly like a
rebirth moment.

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Yeah, I find time.
It's I'm again.

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And it may be different for men.
We have to put ourselves first.

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We have to be selfish like I
can't I can't help others until

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I can help myself.
Like I can't I can't love

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someone else and lift if I don't
love myself, so that's self

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number s.
Yeah, that self-help bucket

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helps every aspect of being
alive.

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I find boundaries are extremely
healthy for every relationship,

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especially for your own
relationship with yourself and I

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never set.
Boundaries for myself, let alone

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for my, for the relation because
I'm so dependent on.

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Not only her but the other
aspects of my life that I

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couldn't really control for my
joy and it just it didn't it

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didn't translate well into real
life.

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So what I mean by that is if
I've struggled to express hey

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like I want this regardless of
whether or not you do and that

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pert you can't expect respect Or
someone to establish a boundary

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for you.
And then when you lose respect

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for yourself, it's very
difficult to expect them to have

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that for you as well.
So, I was sort of expecting her

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to establish that for me to be
my my source of challenge, my

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source of joy and my source of
XY and z.

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And that just, it's not
realistic in any particular, any

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any way at all, man.
Once like you said, once I

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establish, like, I need to
really double and triple down on

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my sense of personal
accountability responsibility by

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Injuries and the fact that I
have internal value not just by

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what I do but because I exist
and if I treated myself, the way

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I treat her value, man, I can go
so much farther in any

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relationship that I'm in or
being by myself as well.

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That's just a lot of us, a lot
of us miss.

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Yeah, there's one person on the
planet responsible for my

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happiness and it's me.
And when I try to take that from

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other people, when I refuse to
look at why I'm not happy, P, if

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I'm not willing to dive in, to
my own darkness and Shadow and

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and all of that and expect
someone else to like be.

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So loving of me so happy in
their life that they just, they

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somehow just pulled me out of
it.

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It's a, yeah, it's a, it's a,
it's the death nail for that

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relationship, whatever
leadership Maps parents

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siblings, absolutely him.
Did you realize you were making

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a system in the moment or was it
just that you know the the

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miracle morning book is really
helping you and you wanted to

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expand on that like how did your
system come into play?

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Great question, really, great
question.

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The miracle morning, sort of
introduce that idea to me.

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I was also heavily influenced by
Dave.

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Ramsey, are you familiar with
him?

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Any chance I've heard of him for
your listeners.

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Dave, Ramsey is basically a
financial Guru Who's been to,

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he's been doing this for about
going 30, 40 years or now, and

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then the radio, but primarily he
has a system called the baby

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steps and it's to help people
get out of debt and create

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wealth.
Now, he's expanding into

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multiple different Avenues but
the premise that he created was

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very, very simple with, also
burst out of done his own

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desperation, but it's
essentially a seven-step process

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that anybody can follow.
And basically, all you got to do

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is identify where you're at on
this and these steps you might

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be in Step 13 for whatever and
continue to follow it.

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And How you get Financial Health
and build wealth and these sorts

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of things.
So I thought, wow, that is a

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really interesting way to not
only assess where you are, huge.

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First step in any rebuild, right
determine what you need to

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actually build a plan to fix the
problem.

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And then forecast where these
actions are going to lead you.

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It's that forecasting piece that
I think a lot of People forget

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all of the, all those pieces are
really, really important but

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it's that forecasting and it
almost like it's like, gives you

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hope to know that.
If I do X, Y & Z for however,

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long I can reasonably expect
these results that for me was

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transformative like nothing else
because anybody can say listen,

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if you want to get in shape you
got to eat healthy and you got

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to exercise more.
Well yes of course, how long for

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what intensity What can I expect
for what rate of change?

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Can I expect when you can
actually like map that out for

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somebody, within a reasonable
amount of certainty or give them

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a range?
Then it's like, okay, you know,

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like I have an informed
decision, I'm making on a daily

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basis.
I actually know that if I save x

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amount of dollars, I can have
this much of my account by the

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end of the year or I can on
average returns.

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I can, I can retire with this
much.

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That's why it's so valuable.
I have a financial advisor or

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whatever I, I sort of realized
that, if I put together a daily

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system, where I contribute to my
financial budget, I exercise, I

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eat a certain amount of food
with certain macro breakdown.

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And then I put in x amount of
hours at my sales job.

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At the time, I could reasonably
expect within a year.

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Two years, three years to get a
certain salary return, my body

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looks Way and my finances to, to
change as well.

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Not only that but you know, I
would grow as a person and so on

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and so forth.
That was a bit more ambiguous,

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but the to enter the, I have a
problem with long-winded answer

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is here, but to answer your
question about, did I start with

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the system or or did it sort of
build up over time?

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It definitely started with a
very simple form, which is that

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Sabers form that Miracle
morning, but even developed into

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something that fit my lifestyle
and And that's something that I

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took into the business that I
now run for helping my clients

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get in shape and following those
same three to four steps to not

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only get the change but see the
change for a long period of time

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and hold that change.
So tell me about this, the

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rebuild Fitness philosophy.
Yeah, yeah.

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Rebuild is the way to pronounce
it, but it's kind of a double

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and double entendre.
Is that the way to say it, but

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the acronym is rbl dear.
It stands for reflect build,

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learn and do the.
These are the four steps that

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make up the philosophy of my
business.

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And the way I really approached
anything in general, which is

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reflect on what it is that you
truly want.

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Now, what you think that you
want not Pie in the Sky, not

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rainbows and butterflies, but
okay, instead of me saying, I

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want to look like Zac Efron.
Maybe it's I'm looking to like

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lose 20, 30 pounds.
I'd like to I'd like Like, you

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know, my chest, the stick out
further than my stomach and, you

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know, I'd love to be able to get
up the stairs without being

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winded or something like that.
You know, what's the base?

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The bare minimum that.
Would, that threshold?

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I have to pass for me to be
happy, really, truly reflect on

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that.
Do not take it lightly and and

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then once we have that outcome
that we're seeking that we can

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only get two but sustained will
reverse engineer.

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That's the second part which is
the build or are building up a

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Man, I can't tell you enough.
How important this is anybody

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who's listening, this is the
step that people skip.

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They might have a programs or
following for two months.

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Three months, even six months,
but very rarely do.

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We have a contingency plan,
people lose weight, all the

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time.
Just at the stats are staggering

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most people that set up to lose
weight about 10% or more of the

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body weight, they are successful
in doing so, but four out of

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five individuals over the course
of five years will regain that

290
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weight or gain even more than
what they lost.

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00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:04,099
Why is that It's not because we
don't know how to lose weight.

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00:17:04,099 --> 00:17:06,900
We don't know how to adjust our
lifestyle.

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After the fact, we don't know
how to sustain a lifestyle of a

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thinner person or someone who
looks and feels and acts that

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way sustainably.
So, we do is we try to go too

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fast.
We prioritize speed over

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sustainability, and that's just
really not congruent with how

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00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:30,500
weight gain typically happens.
For instance, is we typically

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00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:34,400
gain weight, Very slowly over
the course of many months and

300
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,100
years.
We're talking a caloric Surplus,

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00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:39,900
I've heard a maybe 25 50
calories which is very very it's

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00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:43,200
infinitesimally small but that
adds up over the course of many

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00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,600
years when our metabolism close
and that sort of thing.

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00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:52,000
If we were to approach it in a
reverse fashion and looked at

305
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:55,200
what are the one or two things
that I can Implement into my my

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00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:59,600
week that is not too painful
from a diet perspective from an

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exercise perspective and just
moving the more Eating a little

308
00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:03,800
bit better.
Then I can still be happy.

309
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,800
I can still have cake, I can
still have pizza, I can still, I

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00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,700
can still Mount around play by
PS5 behind me, and so on and so

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00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:15,100
forth, but hey, it's keeping me
in the physical range that I

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00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,800
feel well.
I feel healthy.

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I feel proud of myself.
It's a lot simpler to build that

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plan out for years, to come,
then to bank, all of your

315
00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:31,400
success on a Biggest Loser
challenge for 90 days and have

316
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:34,000
Zero plans afterwards and then
by the way, you're probably

317
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,500
inevitably inevitably going to
fall back into your old habits

318
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:37,700
because you have no contingency
plan.

319
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So we build out a plan for a
lifetime, not.

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00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,800
Just for that.
Small period.

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And then, the final two pieces
are very, very short learn is

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00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,200
you ever heard the phrase?
Simon Says Simon, says it's

323
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,400
easier to learn while you're
doing the activity that you're

324
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,100
learning about, that's the
premise.

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00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:58,500
We just teach the fundamentals
while you're while you're

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00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:01,800
actually exercising.
It Dieting.

327
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:05,100
And in real time when you have
questions or concerns will

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00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,300
educate you in that, but we also
have modules and we have

329
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:10,500
articles, we have all types of
knowledge sources that will help

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00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:12,700
you learn the fundamentals and
then you can do whatever you

331
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:14,400
want with that.
But you need to know at the very

332
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,400
least what how fat loss Works
muscle growth.

333
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,800
Works basic nutrition and that
will be your springboard into

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00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,000
how far you want to go into that
path.

335
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And then, of course, the final
piece is D or do that is just

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00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,100
executing.
There's a whole science behind

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00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,200
that and how to stay the course
so to speak.

338
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But that Up the are BLD or
rebuild Fitness approach and

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00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:39,400
yeah open answers your question.
It does.

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00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,900
I want to go to start with the
start with the start and talk

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00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:45,900
about reflecting a little bit
more because I don't want when

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00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:50,600
I'm, when I've been depressed, a
long-term goal is just, you

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00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:54,200
know, it's just beyond my
thinking and I've got lots of

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00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,400
men.
Like, I can't.

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00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,000
I don't, it's almost like the
excuse.

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00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,900
Oh, I can't start because I
don't really know what I want

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00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:01,500
yet.
So, do you have any tips for Or

348
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,300
someone to get clarity on what
it is.

349
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:05,500
They actually want.
Oh man.

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00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:08,700
That is such a tough one, right?
It's and you put it so

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00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:11,500
beautifully of like, man.
How do I forecast this?

352
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:15,700
How do I, how do, I even know
what to know or what do I think

353
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:20,100
to think about for me?
One of the best phrases I've

354
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:22,100
ever heard is the purpose of
life is to live life with

355
00:20:22,100 --> 00:20:23,900
purpose.
Even if you don't know what it

356
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:29,800
is yet, take something that is
constructive and good and test

357
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,500
that out.
Something that even if you don't

358
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:34,400
even love it, it's going to
improve your life.

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00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,000
So I think, honestly, personal
finances, if they're out in the

360
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,900
best shape right now, that's
something that you can actually,

361
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:43,700
you can just Embrace and that
will not only improve your

362
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:46,400
circumstances from like a
well-being perspective, but it

363
00:20:46,408 --> 00:20:49,600
will also give you confidence
that you can The main discipline

364
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,900
you can plan ahead.
You can see something through

365
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:54,700
and build trust within yourself
that you're going to follow it.

366
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:59,800
That's one thing in particular,
physical fitness has it's not

367
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,700
just about Aesthetics, like
that's a great thing.

368
00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:04,200
I love, I love looking great and
feeling confident, and blah,

369
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,800
blah blah, all that kind of
stuff.

370
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:09,800
But there are there are
tremendous mental health.

371
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,500
Ramifications on a positive
perspective that regular

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00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:18,200
exercise does for us from a
endorphins perspective.

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00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:21,400
There's I called myokines that's
in our skeletal muscle or AKA

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00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,300
our lean muscle mass, in our
bodies that when we contract and

375
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:28,600
release our muscles, that my
kinds go into our bloodstream up

376
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,000
to our brain and they helped us
to regulate our mood.

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00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,200
They fight depression and
research meta analysis has shown

378
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,700
time and time.
Again that people with regular

379
00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:40,100
exercise sometimes are they
fighting depression, clinical

380
00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:43,900
depression and even chronic
illnesses, much better than

381
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:47,000
medication and or counseling
nothing against medication or

382
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,600
counseling, I think everything
done in tandem.

383
00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:52,400
Or as a holistic approach is
even better but the fact of the

384
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,800
matter is that should not be
ignored and that's should be

385
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,900
something every single person
does in their life.

386
00:21:57,900 --> 00:22:00,600
And that's something you can
tackle right now to build

387
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,800
confidence, improve your life.
And then, by the way, take build

388
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:11,700
a foundation that now you can,
you can tackle the next thing

389
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:16,000
somebody called it.
A keystone habit, getting in

390
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,900
shape, is a keystone habit.
That You can that's simple

391
00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:23,100
enough to work.
You can you can set a goal like

392
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:25,100
one of running marathons.
You want a bench, 300 pounds or

393
00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:26,700
whatever it is.
Maybe let's just say, 200

394
00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:30,200
pounds, whatever.
The cool thing about setting a

395
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:34,100
simple goal that that is far
enough in the future that yet.

396
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,100
Take some time, but short enough
that you can actually achieve

397
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:39,600
it.
Is that your other habits like

398
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,800
you're eating what you digest,
as far as information, the

399
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,300
influences that you allow into
your life, they sort of fall in

400
00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:50,500
line with that Keystone habit,
and you sort of are able to like

401
00:22:50,700 --> 00:22:54,500
almost like a snowplow kind of
like push the excess out from

402
00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:56,200
you.
You collect the good.

403
00:22:56,200 --> 00:23:00,200
You push out the bed.
So To your question.

404
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,500
Hi, I would I would absolutely
recommend starting with one of

405
00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:09,700
those two things and or reading
/ audio books podcasts about

406
00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:13,600
self-help like Andy's, Etc.
I can't stress to you enough.

407
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:19,600
How important it is to change
your schedule and change your

408
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:24,400
influences immediately that will
spark a revolution within

409
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,400
yourself.
Even if you don't know what the

410
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:30,700
outcome of that Revolution is
going to be That Teddy, you've

411
00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:33,600
mentioned purpose and
reinvention and

412
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,400
responsibilities.
And I think what all in an

413
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:42,500
effort to be to be better.
So what does being a good man

414
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:47,400
mean to you?
Yeah, yeah there that's a

415
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,700
There's two sides of that coin.
I think men, every person has

416
00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:56,300
inherent value that needs to be
embraced, but I, and I think

417
00:23:56,300 --> 00:24:01,700
that's men really struggle with
that concept because of what

418
00:24:01,700 --> 00:24:04,200
we're taught because of how we
feel naturally.

419
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,800
And a number of factors really.
Do I think anything is one way

420
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:12,900
or the other completely, we have
an inherent desire to build and

421
00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:18,000
produce and protect and be
responsible for something and

422
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:23,700
that gives us tremendous Pride.
So being a good man, I think is

423
00:24:23,700 --> 00:24:29,200
embracing those things.
Full wholeheartedly Embrace

424
00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:32,200
whatever you're responsible for,
whether it's your life, your

425
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,400
family's life, your co-workers
life, your friends, like your

426
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:39,200
parents, whatever Embrace that,
do the right thing.

427
00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:43,900
Work as hard as you can, within
reason, don't kill yourself, of

428
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:49,000
course, but also understand that
if you fall short, if you don't,

429
00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:52,900
if you can't do your best every
day or you can't, you can't

430
00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:56,000
reach an outcome that that you
had in mind, by the time that

431
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,700
you wanted, that doesn't mean
that you're a bad man.

432
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,900
It means that you did your best
and huge stoic philosopher.

433
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:06,200
I'm a huge about the basic
premise of of do the best you

434
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,500
can with what you have when you
have it, life really boils down

435
00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:12,900
to that.
So I think that's what being a

436
00:25:12,908 --> 00:25:17,600
good person is but especially a
good man in that single

437
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,600
statement.
If I could simplify it in that

438
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:24,200
way, a lot of people say just do
your best to be the best and

439
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,300
they take away all the other
like our best fluctuates based

440
00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:30,700
on the moment based on resources
based on our food or in our

441
00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:33,100
sleep and all sorts of things.
But yeah, but always strive to

442
00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:36,800
do your best but realize your
best will have fluctuations to

443
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,800
it.
Absolutely, absolutely believe

444
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,400
me.
I'm not one of my favorite like

445
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,200
of thought experiments is, you
know, let's take me five years

446
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,300
ago.
I'm still me, I'm still Teddy,

447
00:25:48,900 --> 00:25:52,100
I've been tending this whole
time, but in a lot of ways I was

448
00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:56,000
unrecognizable that version of
me was unrecognizable from this

449
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,000
version of me.
I had a lot of commonalities,

450
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,800
but I wouldn't.
I thought different things.

451
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,400
I said, different things.
I did different things and

452
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,800
that's okay.
I'm still me.

453
00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:08,700
I was always me and I was like,
I should Always Be Loved along

454
00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:11,000
the way.
I should always be appreciated

455
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,500
and I should be able to be
vulnerable and I'm just as

456
00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:19,600
worthy of good relationships and
good opportunities and and and

457
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:23,000
the like as I am today, even
though I put together a better

458
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:28,500
system, we have to understand
that we we often look down on

459
00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:34,200
men in our society who aren't
achieving, who aren't confident

460
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,800
even or who make sometimes make
bad decisions or whatever it may

461
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,400
be.
And we look at them as bad

462
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,300
people inherently, we treat them
as bad people inherently, but

463
00:26:42,300 --> 00:26:46,300
the fact of the matter is many
of the US, if not, most of us

464
00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:51,700
have been some version of that
person in that moment.

465
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:58,200
Sometimes worse.
We need as many particular we

466
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,600
need to stand up for each other
and of course challenge one

467
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,500
another to be our best and of
course challenges one another to

468
00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:08,800
be honest, and open and
vulnerable and of course do all

469
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,800
of these things.
Hey like let's let's hold

470
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,900
ourselves to the highest
standard but we also have to

471
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:19,800
challenge others in those
moments where we're not giving

472
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:26,400
men a break that is that is why
Many of us are so tightly wound.

473
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,700
Why we act the way we do and
Studies have shown that men and

474
00:27:29,708 --> 00:27:31,500
women?
You know, we show aggression

475
00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:33,500
almost at the same rates.
We just show it differently.

476
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:41,800
If men have an outlet socially,
Like like many women doing

477
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,300
their, women are really good at
this compared to us my goodness,

478
00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:48,900
what a better world we could
live in in that way.

479
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:52,500
So the work that you do Andy
honestly is really incredibly

480
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:57,200
important particularly in the
the men's mental health space

481
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,300
and so on and so forth and how
that translates to physical

482
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:02,600
health as well.
So you enable people like myself

483
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:06,800
to sort of even get to the
conversations of men who are

484
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,600
like listen, I've been on an
emotional journey to him.

485
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,100
Of my life.
I used to never even think about

486
00:28:12,100 --> 00:28:13,800
this kind of stuff.
I just went to work and came

487
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,500
home and paid the bills.
I thought that was enough and

488
00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:18,600
that's what it meant to be a
man, but it was it means much

489
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,800
more to be a man and then once
they are able to sort of accept

490
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:25,900
that they can begin to invest in
themselves financially

491
00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:28,000
physically and that's when they
come to me.

492
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,400
So I really want to thank you
and the front end for all the

493
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:34,200
work that you do there and
that's based on some in, We

494
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,900
Begin the introduction and
mentioned Joy.

495
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,300
So I want to know today, what
brings A joy.

496
00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:45,600
Oh gosh, what doesn't?
I'm just a happy dude, man, I

497
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,700
really love.
I really love life in general.

498
00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:53,000
I love like a cool.
I love learning A New Concept

499
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,800
and kind of synthesizing it down
into something that's like

500
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,100
digestible, right?
So Fitness is one of those

501
00:28:58,100 --> 00:29:00,300
things that's just one thing,
but I love like Behavioral

502
00:29:00,300 --> 00:29:02,600
Science or like habit science.
That's really cool.

503
00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:05,600
I even like, I love like Neil
deGrasse Tyson the way he does.

504
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,800
He like breaks down astrophysics
and like the way we see the

505
00:29:07,808 --> 00:29:09,400
world.
So like I'm very curious in that

506
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,200
way.
Like, all new information is

507
00:29:12,208 --> 00:29:14,300
really cool.
I love true crime,

508
00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:17,100
documentaries, I love them so
much.

509
00:29:17,100 --> 00:29:20,400
They're just so fascinating to
me and it's my wife and my

510
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:25,100
favorite pastime.
I love playing pickup game of

511
00:29:25,100 --> 00:29:26,800
basketball or football with my
friends.

512
00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:29,800
I love playing Madden with my
friends on PS5.

513
00:29:31,100 --> 00:29:33,600
I love going to the city and
grabbing a drink and a piano bar

514
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,000
out here with my wife, and
taking my dog on the subway and

515
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,600
going to Central Park.
I love the feeling after a good.

516
00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:41,900
Workout.
I love closing a deal.

517
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,000
There's so many things that
bring me joy.

518
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:50,000
But I'd say like I said before
it was it was because I took the

519
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:56,300
time to invest in learning what
the world had to offer, like

520
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,500
listening to well-thought-out
words and reading articles and

521
00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:02,300
books and you know listening to
podcasts, that challenged, my

522
00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:06,700
mind that I was able to sort of
take from one podcast

523
00:30:06,700 --> 00:30:09,200
information and tie it to
another and then tighten that my

524
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:13,900
network of thought is so much
more sophisticated and balanced

525
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:18,600
than it once was because I
followed that Natural Curiosity,

526
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:22,400
that we all have instead of
suppressing it and now I'm able

527
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,100
to find joy and Many other
things in conversations with

528
00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:28,200
people of all different
perspectives and knowledge, base

529
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:34,800
disease, Etc, base base disease.
I think it's word Etc because I

530
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:38,400
followed that path.
So I guess lots of things bring

531
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:43,800
me joy but the reason being is
because I was never afraid to

532
00:30:44,300 --> 00:30:49,000
follow a path of thought
non-judgmentally.

533
00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:53,800
And that allows me to connect
with more things and people

534
00:30:55,100 --> 00:30:59,900
freely, without fear.
I wonder if do you have a

535
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,700
mistake that you can see is your
favorite mistake because of the

536
00:31:03,700 --> 00:31:10,500
lesson you got from it.
Oh my Definitely ties back to

537
00:31:10,900 --> 00:31:12,900
the last relationship.
I was in.

538
00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:18,200
I called this the this, this
concept.

539
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:26,900
I had a lack of diversity of
importance in my life.

540
00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:31,900
I was honed in on a relationship
to bring me the vast majority of

541
00:31:31,900 --> 00:31:35,100
my enjoy.
A lot of people have that

542
00:31:35,100 --> 00:31:39,800
relationship with food or with
work, or maybe again, with their

543
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,300
significant other or friends.
A lot of people are all about

544
00:31:43,300 --> 00:31:48,400
being a parent and that's like
majority of their Joy. that's

545
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:54,800
doing that was my biggest
mistake because I just Invested

546
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:58,500
in myself and my other
relationships and the things

547
00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:04,900
that brought me mental physical
and Financial Health far, too,

548
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,500
little, comparatively,
everything I did was oriented

549
00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:10,300
towards this one thing or
person.

550
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:16,600
So when that failed and I
realized all right man you got

551
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:20,600
to do something now because you
know chance like you can't be in

552
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,400
this situation again your
standard of living can't be like

553
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,600
this again that was my biggest
failure.

554
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:30,500
I would never change it because
I'm it woke me up but that was

555
00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:34,800
the moment that or the thing
that definitely changed me.

556
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,200
Is there one thing that's top of
mind that you wish more men

557
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:48,400
knew?
I wish more men knew that.

558
00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:53,200
What they thought about
themselves?

559
00:32:56,400 --> 00:33:02,900
Is far more important than what
anyone else can give you.

560
00:33:04,500 --> 00:33:08,200
My dad said something very
beautifully on an old podcast

561
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:11,800
that I had when I asked him a
very similar question and he

562
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,900
said if I could go back and talk
to my younger self, I would tell

563
00:33:14,900 --> 00:33:16,500
him.
You have worth, you have value,

564
00:33:16,500 --> 00:33:22,300
you are loved and you have every
reason to go out and build the

565
00:33:22,308 --> 00:33:25,200
best life that you possibly can
compared to anybody else.

566
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:26,900
There's no reason that you
should hold yourself back and

567
00:33:26,900 --> 00:33:28,900
that was something that you
struggle with for his whole life

568
00:33:28,900 --> 00:33:30,800
because of a lot of the
circumstances, the things that

569
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,700
has happened to him and a lot of
self talk, that was Over the

570
00:33:33,700 --> 00:33:37,600
years, I would Echo that
sentiment that my dad had,

571
00:33:37,700 --> 00:33:39,600
because it's about as true as
anything.

572
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:46,800
Awesome hitting you are such a
An explosively, joyous learning

573
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,900
machine, and of service on its
your energy is really

574
00:33:49,900 --> 00:33:51,000
infectious.
I love it.

575
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,800
What is the best way for people
to connect with you to learn

576
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:55,900
more about everything that
you're up to?

577
00:33:56,900 --> 00:33:59,000
Yeah, thanks man.
Instagrams.

578
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:02,300
Probably the central Hub that I
am the most active on social

579
00:34:02,300 --> 00:34:07,700
media, so that would be at Ted
Woolsey to Edie wol sey.

580
00:34:07,700 --> 00:34:10,000
I'm sure you put that in the
show, the show notes so you guys

581
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,000
can look that up.
But I also have a website where

582
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,400
I write articles And that's
going to be on all types of

583
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:19,100
things, Fitness diet and
behavioral oriented.

584
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,500
But yeah, my Instagram can be a
great Central Hub.

585
00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:26,699
Where you can see more of like
my thoughts on living a healthy

586
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,400
life, physically how that
translates to mental health, how

587
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:33,900
that translates to a meaningful
life and and so on, so on and so

588
00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:35,199
forth.
But I just love connecting with

589
00:34:35,199 --> 00:34:39,199
people seeing them how they live
out their lives and just kind of

590
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:43,300
interacting organically with
with the folks that ideally are

591
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:45,500
I'm learning a little bit
something for me to do the same

592
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,400
with them.
Awesome, thanks to you for being

593
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:52,500
here, thanks for for taking part
in your transformation and then

594
00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:54,500
sharing it with the world
because that's what just makes

595
00:34:54,500 --> 00:34:58,800
it, infinitely more powerful.
Hey, thank you.

596
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,400
I appreciate all the work that
you do man.

597
00:35:00,700 --> 00:35:04,300
And I'm already at a wedding
myself to the the Facebook

598
00:35:04,300 --> 00:35:07,500
group, I look forward to
interacting further and it's

599
00:35:07,500 --> 00:35:09,800
just an honor to be on the show.
Beautiful, beautiful.

600
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,300
Great to hear it some.
So again, thanks Teddy.

601
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,800
Thanks again for listening and
tuning in wherever you're

602
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,500
discovering real men.
Feel, please give us a like And

603
00:35:17,508 --> 00:35:19,900
subscribe and share.
Visit real men, feel that organ,

604
00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:22,000
see the blog posts for this
episode.

605
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,700
Get all the links to all the
various books and tools that

606
00:35:23,700 --> 00:35:25,700
were mentioned.
You can always reach out to me

607
00:35:25,700 --> 00:35:29,000
at real men, feel at gmail.com
Always glad to hear from you.

608
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,700
And as Ted mentioned, if you're
not in real men, feel private

609
00:35:31,700 --> 00:35:35,200
Facebook group, yet the heck you
waiting for just go to real men,

610
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,400
feel dot org slash group and
that'll pop you, right over to

611
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,800
Facebook and you can join up in
the conversation.

612
00:35:40,100 --> 00:35:44,400
And until next time, I want to
quote Teddy's, dad you have

613
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:46,100
worth.
You have value, and you are

614
00:35:46,100 --> 00:35:48,900
loved.
Please know that please live.

615
00:35:48,900 --> 00:35:49,400
That