March 31, 2023

Rebuilding Yourself | Being The Best Man You Can Be

We are early in Spring, a time of renewal, growth, and, ideally, flourishing. I know that in my life, I've often had to renew, prune my life, weed out the shit in my mind, and reinvent myself to be the best man I can be.

My guest, Teddy Woolsey, took action when his life needed an overhaul and created a system that helped him, and now he uses that in service to others. He was 100K in debt, out of shape, depressed, and in a failing relationship to being debt-free, earning 3x as much, meeting his future wife, and living in Manhattan all in under a year and 1/2.

Teddy is RBLD Fitness's founder and works full-time as a Tech Sales Executive. He coaches his clients on sustainably losing fat, building muscle, and finding the balance between hard work and joy in their lives.

We discuss the danger of relying on another person for your happiness and the importance of filling your self-help bucket and putting yourself first. Society often sees men as only having value based on what they earn, create, build, and protect. Such expectations left Teddy feeling anxious, frustrated, and unworthy.

You have value because you exist, not because of what you do. Listen in and let Teddy's explosive joy seep into you.


Topics and Questions

  • 1:20 - How was joy in your life?
  • 3:09 - What made you realize your life needed to change?
  • 7:07 - What was in your self-help bucket?
  • 7:54 - Did you realize your happiness depended on someone else before the relationship ended?
  • 11:25 - Did you know you were making a system at the time?
  • 15:09 - Tell me about the RBLD Fitness Philosophy
  • 19:40 - Step One: Tips for Reflecting
  • 23:40 - What does being a good man mean to you?
  • 28:34 - What brings you joy?
  • 30:57 - What mistake got you the lesson you appreciate most?
  • 32:35 - What do you wish more men knew?
  • 33:51 - What's the best way for people to learn more about you?


"Change your schedule and change your influences immediately! That will spark a revolution within yourself." - Teddy Woolsey


Links

Instagram -- @tedwoolsey

RBLD Fitness -- www.rbldfitness.com

Recommended book, The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod


Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant

Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group

YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

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Hello, and welcome to Redmond
field.

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This is author.
Coach and healer and he Grant,

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you want to learn more about me.
Please visit the integrand.com,

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real men.
Feel invites you to redefine

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what masculinity means in
today's world.

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We remind men that they are
human beings and have the right

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to experience and express all of
their emotions.

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We have conversations that most
men are not having, but that all

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men can benefit from now the way
early in Spring often a time of

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renewal growth and ideally
flourishing, I know that in my

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life, I've often had to renew
to, to prune my life to weed out

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the shit in my mind often in
order to reinvent myself, to be

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the best man that I can be.
My guest today.

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Teddy Woolsey it took action
when his life needs an overhaul

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and created a system that helped
him.

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And now he uses that in service
to others, Teddy is the founder

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of rebuild Fitness and also
works full-time as a tech sales

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executive, he coaches his
clients how to sustainably lose

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fat, build muscle and find the
balance between hard work and

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joy and there.
Lives.

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Welcome to real men.
Feel Teddy It is great to be

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here.
Andy, thank you very much.

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So I love that.
You focus on Joy because I think

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that's something that most men
don't consciously, think of

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that.
They are worthy of joy that Joy

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belongs and their experience has
have you all known that is Joy?

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Something that was always a part
of your life or it's a, it's a

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weird thing to go through and
almost I was, I was brought up

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in a religious household where
discipline learning And really

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just do the to the world was
pressed for Good Reason by the

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way those are great things to do
good to the world but the

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personal enjoyment can be
suppressed at times in the

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messaging there and you can
start adopting as a man in

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particular where your value.
You're not really born with

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value.
In society's eyes, you have to

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earn it.
You have to create it and which

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is a false narrative.
It's something that we need to

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overcome, but it's something
that a lot of men including

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myself have always felt I need
to create.

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I have to earn.
I have to build in order to be

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worthy of people's time and
attention and respect.

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So while that that has brought
me to develop and create and

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build, a lot of great things
that I'm very proud of and I'm

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really thankful for those
qualities and characteristics.

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It definitely has left me with
feelings of anxiety and

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frustration, when I am not doing
enough or I'm not if I feel like

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I'm not worthy of somebody in my
in my own eyes so I made it a

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conscious thing too.
Really Implement things that I

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find valuable, and enjoyable and
life-giving in every day and in

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every week, and every
relationship, but I have, and

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it's not there.
I refined the schedule.

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I refined my relationships on a
regular basis to make sure that

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that those - sources are weeded
out and I am welcoming in new

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sources of life-giving
activities.

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What happened in your life to
make you realize that you had to

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make this?
Effort to change how you living.

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Yeah, when I was about 29
approaching 30, I was in a

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long-term relationship with my
ex and I was, I was working

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full-time.
I was sort of directionless in

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life as to what I wanted to do.
I've even done a podcast once

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before and, you know, Sunset
that and just kind of like, I

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want to do something fun.
I want to feel more fulfilled

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but I wasn't, I wasn't quite in
shape.

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I wasn't quite so.
Successful, I wasn't quite happy

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in my relationship.
I was just there, you know, the

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dreaded mediocre and once I
realized that I had a dependency

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in my relationship, for my
happiness and all these other

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factors that weren't really
going, for me, I had a crisis on

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my hands when that relationship
started to fall apart and I

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basically had this moment when I
looked in the mirror after a

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shower, Or and his kind of like
one of those classic 80s movies

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where you look into there's like
steamer on the mirror and just

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like you like wipe your face
clean and you look at yourself

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and you thinking like, who are
you, man?

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Like this is not what you were
meant to be and this is not like

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what you're capable of and it
was a really sobering moment and

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I'm not going to say my life
changed, right from there was a

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process after the fact.
But I basically knew in that

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moment that I was not satisfied
with what I want.

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Or what I, what I have reached
in life.

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Because I hadn't created a
system of that activity and

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habits that really would
contribute to a different life.

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I mean, my life, the way it
looks was a product of what I

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did in a daily basis.
So I realized I've got to change

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my schedule.
I have to change what I do

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regularly and okay well how do I
do that?

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And what do I do?
There were two main things that

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really helped me.
One, was the miracle morning by

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Hal Elrod.
It was a book basically where

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you do Seven things it's called
the acronym is Savers.

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You sit in silence or you
meditate, you recite

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affirmations, you, these stands
for you visualize your future,

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you exercise?
You, you read and then you

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scribe or you, right?
So I did that, whether it was 45

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minutes or an hour and a half
every morning, I did that and

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basically like added to my
self-help bucket every single

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day but I chose activities
during that period.

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Of time that I knew I needed to
do the most, which was get my

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finances in order.
Get myself in shape, really sort

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of get my house in order
physically as well as

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financially spiritually,
intellectually, Etc.

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So that those two things really
set off a completely new life

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and I just followed through on
it into my life.

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Looked it, look differently, and
it was basically 100K in debt

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out of shape.
Depressed, failing, relationship

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to not even what I was a year
and a half later.

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Was completely out of debt.
I was earning three times.

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What I was learning earning
before?

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I was in a new relationship with
someone who's just wonderful and

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I'm now married to her and she's
the love of my life.

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We're living in New York City
and you know 28th floor

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overlooking Manhattan.
It's just it's just a wonderful

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amazing life because of this new
system that was implemented and

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I can get into more detail about
what those things are and how to

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do that in your own life, but I
just can't even express enough

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how important it was to take
stock of where I was.

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Take stock of where I wanted to
go and just create a system that

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was made up of actionable items.
Real life, things that you have

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to do on a regular basis to
actually see change in your

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life.
Awesome, awesome.

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I'm, I love hearing of
turnarounds, but that drastic

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turn around, and, and frankly,
that showed of a period of time

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is quite impressive.
So good for you.

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Thanks, Mom.
Prior to that experience.

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You mentioned adding more to
yourself.

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Help.
Bucket was there a self-help

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bucket before this?
This.

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Definitely definitely.
It's not I have always wanted

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to, I'm not curious, right?
I want to get better, I want to

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be better but it's there's, you
know, sometimes your environment

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doesn't posture that sometimes
your circumstances sort of hold

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you back and you have to make
adjustments to that, or

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sometimes you just don't want
it, right?

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You don't want it badly enough
at that time, things are

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comfortable enough that you feel
like hey I'd rather stay in the

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comfortable discomfort then,
pursue something new that could

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possibly Create more problems
for me that, I don't know and

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that I hadn't reached that
threshold yet.

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And so and so life sort of
forced itself upon me and that

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way.
Did you realize that your

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happiness was so dependent on
your girlfriend before she ended

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it?
Absolutely.

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That was that was something that
I'm sure a lot of men and women.

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For that matter can attest to
when you have a dependent

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relationship on someone the The
good days are great.

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The bad days are horrible.
And it's, it's such a volatile

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way to live regardless of
whether or not you are with

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them.
So when I realized Through a lot

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of introspection.
Honest conversations people, I

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knew I couldn't trust that I had
to make myself better regardless

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of whether I was going to stay
with her or things were going to

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not work out.
That was the first day of the

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rest of my life.
And obviously, we didn't work

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out, but it was, it was a
wonderful wonderful thing to

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feel that sense of Crisis.
Even though I didn't know at the

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time, it was honestly like a
rebirth moment.

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Yeah, I find time.
It's I'm again.

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And it may be different for men.
We have to put ourselves first.

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We have to be selfish like I
can't I can't help others until

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I can help myself.
Like I can't I can't love

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someone else and lift if I don't
love myself, so that's self

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number s.
Yeah, that self-help bucket

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helps every aspect of being
alive.

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I find boundaries are extremely
healthy for every relationship,

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especially for your own
relationship with yourself and I

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never set.
Boundaries for myself, let alone

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for my, for the relation because
I'm so dependent on.

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Not only her but the other
aspects of my life that I

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couldn't really control for my
joy and it just it didn't it

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didn't translate well into real
life.

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So what I mean by that is if
I've struggled to express hey

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like I want this regardless of
whether or not you do and that

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pert you can't expect respect Or
someone to establish a boundary

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for you.
And then when you lose respect

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for yourself, it's very
difficult to expect them to have

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that for you as well.
So, I was sort of expecting her

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to establish that for me to be
my my source of challenge, my

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source of joy and my source of
XY and z.

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And that just, it's not
realistic in any particular, any

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any way at all, man.
Once like you said, once I

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establish, like, I need to
really double and triple down on

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my sense of personal
accountability responsibility by

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Injuries and the fact that I
have internal value not just by

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what I do but because I exist
and if I treated myself, the way

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I treat her value, man, I can go
so much farther in any

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relationship that I'm in or
being by myself as well.

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That's just a lot of us, a lot
of us miss.

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Yeah, there's one person on the
planet responsible for my

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happiness and it's me.
And when I try to take that from

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other people, when I refuse to
look at why I'm not happy, P, if

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I'm not willing to dive in, to
my own darkness and Shadow and

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and all of that and expect
someone else to like be.

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So loving of me so happy in
their life that they just, they

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somehow just pulled me out of
it.

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It's a, yeah, it's a, it's a,
it's the death nail for that

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relationship, whatever
leadership Maps parents

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siblings, absolutely him.
Did you realize you were making

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a system in the moment or was it
just that you know the the

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miracle morning book is really
helping you and you wanted to

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expand on that like how did your
system come into play?

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Great question, really, great
question.

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The miracle morning, sort of
introduce that idea to me.

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I was also heavily influenced by
Dave.

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Ramsey, are you familiar with
him?

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Any chance I've heard of him for
your listeners.

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Dave, Ramsey is basically a
financial Guru Who's been to,

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he's been doing this for about
going 30, 40 years or now, and

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then the radio, but primarily he
has a system called the baby

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steps and it's to help people
get out of debt and create

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wealth.
Now, he's expanding into

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multiple different Avenues but
the premise that he created was

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very, very simple with, also
burst out of done his own

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desperation, but it's
essentially a seven-step process

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that anybody can follow.
And basically, all you got to do

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is identify where you're at on
this and these steps you might

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be in Step 13 for whatever and
continue to follow it.

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And How you get Financial Health
and build wealth and these sorts

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of things.
So I thought, wow, that is a

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really interesting way to not
only assess where you are, huge.

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First step in any rebuild, right
determine what you need to

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actually build a plan to fix the
problem.

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And then forecast where these
actions are going to lead you.

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It's that forecasting piece that
I think a lot of People forget

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all of the, all those pieces are
really, really important but

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it's that forecasting and it
almost like it's like, gives you

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hope to know that.
If I do X, Y & Z for however,

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long I can reasonably expect
these results that for me was

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transformative like nothing else
because anybody can say listen,

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if you want to get in shape you
got to eat healthy and you got

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to exercise more.
Well yes of course, how long for

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what intensity What can I expect
for what rate of change?

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Can I expect when you can
actually like map that out for

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somebody, within a reasonable
amount of certainty or give them

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a range?
Then it's like, okay, you know,

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like I have an informed
decision, I'm making on a daily

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basis.
I actually know that if I save x

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amount of dollars, I can have
this much of my account by the

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end of the year or I can on
average returns.

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I can, I can retire with this
much.

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That's why it's so valuable.
I have a financial advisor or

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whatever I, I sort of realized
that, if I put together a daily

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system, where I contribute to my
financial budget, I exercise, I

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eat a certain amount of food
with certain macro breakdown.

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And then I put in x amount of
hours at my sales job.

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At the time, I could reasonably
expect within a year.

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Two years, three years to get a
certain salary return, my body

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looks Way and my finances to, to
change as well.

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Not only that but you know, I
would grow as a person and so on

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and so forth.
That was a bit more ambiguous,

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but the to enter the, I have a
problem with long-winded answer

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is here, but to answer your
question about, did I start with

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the system or or did it sort of
build up over time?

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It definitely started with a
very simple form, which is that

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Sabers form that Miracle
morning, but even developed into

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something that fit my lifestyle
and And that's something that I

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took into the business that I
now run for helping my clients

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get in shape and following those
same three to four steps to not

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only get the change but see the
change for a long period of time

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and hold that change.
So tell me about this, the

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rebuild Fitness philosophy.
Yeah, yeah.

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Rebuild is the way to pronounce
it, but it's kind of a double

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and double entendre.
Is that the way to say it, but

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the acronym is rbl dear.
It stands for reflect build,

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learn and do the.
These are the four steps that

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make up the philosophy of my
business.

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And the way I really approached
anything in general, which is

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reflect on what it is that you
truly want.

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Now, what you think that you
want not Pie in the Sky, not

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00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:45,800
rainbows and butterflies, but
okay, instead of me saying, I

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00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:50,300
want to look like Zac Efron.
Maybe it's I'm looking to like

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lose 20, 30 pounds.
I'd like to I'd like Like, you

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00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:57,400
know, my chest, the stick out
further than my stomach and, you

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know, I'd love to be able to get
up the stairs without being

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winded or something like that.
You know, what's the base?

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The bare minimum that.
Would, that threshold?

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I have to pass for me to be
happy, really, truly reflect on

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that.
Do not take it lightly and and

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then once we have that outcome
that we're seeking that we can

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00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:19,100
only get two but sustained will
reverse engineer.

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That's the second part which is
the build or are building up a

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Man, I can't tell you enough.
How important this is anybody

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who's listening, this is the
step that people skip.

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00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,900
They might have a programs or
following for two months.

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00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:40,300
Three months, even six months,
but very rarely do.

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We have a contingency plan,
people lose weight, all the

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00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,400
time.
Just at the stats are staggering

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00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,800
most people that set up to lose
weight about 10% or more of the

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00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:53,200
body weight, they are successful
in doing so, but four out of

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00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,300
five individuals over the course
of five years will regain that

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00:16:56,300 --> 00:17:00,300
weight or gain even more than
what they lost.

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00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:04,099
Why is that It's not because we
don't know how to lose weight.

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00:17:04,099 --> 00:17:06,900
We don't know how to adjust our
lifestyle.

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00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:11,700
After the fact, we don't know
how to sustain a lifestyle of a

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thinner person or someone who
looks and feels and acts that

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way sustainably.
So, we do is we try to go too

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fast.
We prioritize speed over

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00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:26,599
sustainability, and that's just
really not congruent with how

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00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:30,500
weight gain typically happens.
For instance, is we typically

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00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:34,400
gain weight, Very slowly over
the course of many months and

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00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,100
years.
We're talking a caloric Surplus,

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00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:39,900
I've heard a maybe 25 50
calories which is very very it's

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00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:43,200
infinitesimally small but that
adds up over the course of many

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00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,600
years when our metabolism close
and that sort of thing.

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00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:52,000
If we were to approach it in a
reverse fashion and looked at

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00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:55,200
what are the one or two things
that I can Implement into my my

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00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:59,600
week that is not too painful
from a diet perspective from an

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00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,900
exercise perspective and just
moving the more Eating a little

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00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:03,800
bit better.
Then I can still be happy.

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00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,800
I can still have cake, I can
still have pizza, I can still, I

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00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,700
can still Mount around play by
PS5 behind me, and so on and so

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00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:15,100
forth, but hey, it's keeping me
in the physical range that I

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00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,800
feel well.
I feel healthy.

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I feel proud of myself.
It's a lot simpler to build that

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00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:25,700
plan out for years, to come,
then to bank, all of your

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00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:31,400
success on a Biggest Loser
challenge for 90 days and have

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00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:34,000
Zero plans afterwards and then
by the way, you're probably

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00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,500
inevitably inevitably going to
fall back into your old habits

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00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:37,700
because you have no contingency
plan.

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00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:41,400
So we build out a plan for a
lifetime, not.

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00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,800
Just for that.
Small period.

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00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,600
And then, the final two pieces
are very, very short learn is

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00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,200
you ever heard the phrase?
Simon Says Simon, says it's

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00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,400
easier to learn while you're
doing the activity that you're

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00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,100
learning about, that's the
premise.

325
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:58,500
We just teach the fundamentals
while you're while you're

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00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:01,800
actually exercising.
It Dieting.

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00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:05,100
And in real time when you have
questions or concerns will

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00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,300
educate you in that, but we also
have modules and we have

329
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:10,500
articles, we have all types of
knowledge sources that will help

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00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:12,700
you learn the fundamentals and
then you can do whatever you

331
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:14,400
want with that.
But you need to know at the very

332
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,400
least what how fat loss Works
muscle growth.

333
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,800
Works basic nutrition and that
will be your springboard into

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00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,000
how far you want to go into that
path.

335
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:26,500
And then, of course, the final
piece is D or do that is just

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00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,100
executing.
There's a whole science behind

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00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,200
that and how to stay the course
so to speak.

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00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:35,700
But that Up the are BLD or
rebuild Fitness approach and

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00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:39,400
yeah open answers your question.
It does.

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00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,900
I want to go to start with the
start with the start and talk

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00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:45,900
about reflecting a little bit
more because I don't want when

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00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:50,600
I'm, when I've been depressed, a
long-term goal is just, you

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00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:54,200
know, it's just beyond my
thinking and I've got lots of

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00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,400
men.
Like, I can't.

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00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,000
I don't, it's almost like the
excuse.

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00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,900
Oh, I can't start because I
don't really know what I want

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00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:01,500
yet.
So, do you have any tips for Or

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00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,300
someone to get clarity on what
it is.

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00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:05,500
They actually want.
Oh man.

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00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:08,700
That is such a tough one, right?
It's and you put it so

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00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:11,500
beautifully of like, man.
How do I forecast this?

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00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:15,700
How do I, how do, I even know
what to know or what do I think

353
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:20,100
to think about for me?
One of the best phrases I've

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00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:22,100
ever heard is the purpose of
life is to live life with

355
00:20:22,100 --> 00:20:23,900
purpose.
Even if you don't know what it

356
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:29,800
is yet, take something that is
constructive and good and test

357
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,500
that out.
Something that even if you don't

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00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:34,400
even love it, it's going to
improve your life.

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So I think, honestly, personal
finances, if they're out in the

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00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,900
best shape right now, that's
something that you can actually,

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00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:43,700
you can just Embrace and that
will not only improve your

362
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:46,400
circumstances from like a
well-being perspective, but it

363
00:20:46,408 --> 00:20:49,600
will also give you confidence
that you can The main discipline

364
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,900
you can plan ahead.
You can see something through

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00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:54,700
and build trust within yourself
that you're going to follow it.

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00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:59,800
That's one thing in particular,
physical fitness has it's not

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00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,700
just about Aesthetics, like
that's a great thing.

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00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:04,200
I love, I love looking great and
feeling confident, and blah,

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00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,800
blah blah, all that kind of
stuff.

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But there are there are
tremendous mental health.

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00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,500
Ramifications on a positive
perspective that regular

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exercise does for us from a
endorphins perspective.

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There's I called myokines that's
in our skeletal muscle or AKA

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00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,300
our lean muscle mass, in our
bodies that when we contract and

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00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:28,600
release our muscles, that my
kinds go into our bloodstream up

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00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,000
to our brain and they helped us
to regulate our mood.

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00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,200
They fight depression and
research meta analysis has shown

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00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,700
time and time.
Again that people with regular

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00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:40,100
exercise sometimes are they
fighting depression, clinical

380
00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:43,900
depression and even chronic
illnesses, much better than

381
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:47,000
medication and or counseling
nothing against medication or

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00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,600
counseling, I think everything
done in tandem.

383
00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:52,400
Or as a holistic approach is
even better but the fact of the

384
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,800
matter is that should not be
ignored and that's should be

385
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,900
something every single person
does in their life.

386
00:21:57,900 --> 00:22:00,600
And that's something you can
tackle right now to build

387
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,800
confidence, improve your life.
And then, by the way, take build

388
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:11,700
a foundation that now you can,
you can tackle the next thing

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00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:16,000
somebody called it.
A keystone habit, getting in

390
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,900
shape, is a keystone habit.
That You can that's simple

391
00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:23,100
enough to work.
You can you can set a goal like

392
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:25,100
one of running marathons.
You want a bench, 300 pounds or

393
00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:26,700
whatever it is.
Maybe let's just say, 200

394
00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:30,200
pounds, whatever.
The cool thing about setting a

395
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:34,100
simple goal that that is far
enough in the future that yet.

396
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,100
Take some time, but short enough
that you can actually achieve

397
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:39,600
it.
Is that your other habits like

398
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,800
you're eating what you digest,
as far as information, the

399
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,300
influences that you allow into
your life, they sort of fall in

400
00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:50,500
line with that Keystone habit,
and you sort of are able to like

401
00:22:50,700 --> 00:22:54,500
almost like a snowplow kind of
like push the excess out from

402
00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:56,200
you.
You collect the good.

403
00:22:56,200 --> 00:23:00,200
You push out the bed.
So To your question.

404
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,500
Hi, I would I would absolutely
recommend starting with one of

405
00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:09,700
those two things and or reading
/ audio books podcasts about

406
00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:13,600
self-help like Andy's, Etc.
I can't stress to you enough.

407
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:19,600
How important it is to change
your schedule and change your

408
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:24,400
influences immediately that will
spark a revolution within

409
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,400
yourself.
Even if you don't know what the

410
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:30,700
outcome of that Revolution is
going to be That Teddy, you've

411
00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:33,600
mentioned purpose and
reinvention and

412
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,400
responsibilities.
And I think what all in an

413
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:42,500
effort to be to be better.
So what does being a good man

414
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:47,400
mean to you?
Yeah, yeah there that's a

415
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,700
There's two sides of that coin.
I think men, every person has

416
00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:56,300
inherent value that needs to be
embraced, but I, and I think

417
00:23:56,300 --> 00:24:01,700
that's men really struggle with
that concept because of what

418
00:24:01,700 --> 00:24:04,200
we're taught because of how we
feel naturally.

419
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,800
And a number of factors really.
Do I think anything is one way

420
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:12,900
or the other completely, we have
an inherent desire to build and

421
00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:18,000
produce and protect and be
responsible for something and

422
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:23,700
that gives us tremendous Pride.
So being a good man, I think is

423
00:24:23,700 --> 00:24:29,200
embracing those things.
Full wholeheartedly Embrace

424
00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:32,200
whatever you're responsible for,
whether it's your life, your

425
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,400
family's life, your co-workers
life, your friends, like your

426
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:39,200
parents, whatever Embrace that,
do the right thing.

427
00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:43,900
Work as hard as you can, within
reason, don't kill yourself, of

428
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:49,000
course, but also understand that
if you fall short, if you don't,

429
00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:52,900
if you can't do your best every
day or you can't, you can't

430
00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:56,000
reach an outcome that that you
had in mind, by the time that

431
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,700
you wanted, that doesn't mean
that you're a bad man.

432
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,900
It means that you did your best
and huge stoic philosopher.

433
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:06,200
I'm a huge about the basic
premise of of do the best you

434
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,500
can with what you have when you
have it, life really boils down

435
00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:12,900
to that.
So I think that's what being a

436
00:25:12,908 --> 00:25:17,600
good person is but especially a
good man in that single

437
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,600
statement.
If I could simplify it in that

438
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:24,200
way, a lot of people say just do
your best to be the best and

439
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,300
they take away all the other
like our best fluctuates based

440
00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:30,700
on the moment based on resources
based on our food or in our

441
00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:33,100
sleep and all sorts of things.
But yeah, but always strive to

442
00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:36,800
do your best but realize your
best will have fluctuations to

443
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,800
it.
Absolutely, absolutely believe

444
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,400
me.
I'm not one of my favorite like

445
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,200
of thought experiments is, you
know, let's take me five years

446
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,300
ago.
I'm still me, I'm still Teddy,

447
00:25:48,900 --> 00:25:52,100
I've been tending this whole
time, but in a lot of ways I was

448
00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:56,000
unrecognizable that version of
me was unrecognizable from this

449
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,000
version of me.
I had a lot of commonalities,

450
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,800
but I wouldn't.
I thought different things.

451
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,400
I said, different things.
I did different things and

452
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,800
that's okay.
I'm still me.

453
00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:08,700
I was always me and I was like,
I should Always Be Loved along

454
00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:11,000
the way.
I should always be appreciated

455
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,500
and I should be able to be
vulnerable and I'm just as

456
00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:19,600
worthy of good relationships and
good opportunities and and and

457
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:23,000
the like as I am today, even
though I put together a better

458
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:28,500
system, we have to understand
that we we often look down on

459
00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:34,200
men in our society who aren't
achieving, who aren't confident

460
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,800
even or who make sometimes make
bad decisions or whatever it may

461
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,400
be.
And we look at them as bad

462
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,300
people inherently, we treat them
as bad people inherently, but

463
00:26:42,300 --> 00:26:46,300
the fact of the matter is many
of the US, if not, most of us

464
00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:51,700
have been some version of that
person in that moment.

465
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:58,200
Sometimes worse.
We need as many particular we

466
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,600
need to stand up for each other
and of course challenge one

467
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,500
another to be our best and of
course challenges one another to

468
00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:08,800
be honest, and open and
vulnerable and of course do all

469
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,800
of these things.
Hey like let's let's hold

470
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,900
ourselves to the highest
standard but we also have to

471
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:19,800
challenge others in those
moments where we're not giving

472
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:26,400
men a break that is that is why
Many of us are so tightly wound.

473
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,700
Why we act the way we do and
Studies have shown that men and

474
00:27:29,708 --> 00:27:31,500
women?
You know, we show aggression

475
00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:33,500
almost at the same rates.
We just show it differently.

476
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:41,800
If men have an outlet socially,
Like like many women doing

477
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,300
their, women are really good at
this compared to us my goodness,

478
00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:48,900
what a better world we could
live in in that way.

479
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:52,500
So the work that you do Andy
honestly is really incredibly

480
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:57,200
important particularly in the
the men's mental health space

481
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,300
and so on and so forth and how
that translates to physical

482
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:02,600
health as well.
So you enable people like myself

483
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:06,800
to sort of even get to the
conversations of men who are

484
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,600
like listen, I've been on an
emotional journey to him.

485
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,100
Of my life.
I used to never even think about

486
00:28:12,100 --> 00:28:13,800
this kind of stuff.
I just went to work and came

487
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,500
home and paid the bills.
I thought that was enough and

488
00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:18,600
that's what it meant to be a
man, but it was it means much

489
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,800
more to be a man and then once
they are able to sort of accept

490
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:25,900
that they can begin to invest in
themselves financially

491
00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:28,000
physically and that's when they
come to me.

492
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,400
So I really want to thank you
and the front end for all the

493
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:34,200
work that you do there and
that's based on some in, We

494
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,900
Begin the introduction and
mentioned Joy.

495
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,300
So I want to know today, what
brings A joy.

496
00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:45,600
Oh gosh, what doesn't?
I'm just a happy dude, man, I

497
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,700
really love.
I really love life in general.

498
00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:53,000
I love like a cool.
I love learning A New Concept

499
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,800
and kind of synthesizing it down
into something that's like

500
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,100
digestible, right?
So Fitness is one of those

501
00:28:58,100 --> 00:29:00,300
things that's just one thing,
but I love like Behavioral

502
00:29:00,300 --> 00:29:02,600
Science or like habit science.
That's really cool.

503
00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:05,600
I even like, I love like Neil
deGrasse Tyson the way he does.

504
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,800
He like breaks down astrophysics
and like the way we see the

505
00:29:07,808 --> 00:29:09,400
world.
So like I'm very curious in that

506
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,200
way.
Like, all new information is

507
00:29:12,208 --> 00:29:14,300
really cool.
I love true crime,

508
00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:17,100
documentaries, I love them so
much.

509
00:29:17,100 --> 00:29:20,400
They're just so fascinating to
me and it's my wife and my

510
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:25,100
favorite pastime.
I love playing pickup game of

511
00:29:25,100 --> 00:29:26,800
basketball or football with my
friends.

512
00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:29,800
I love playing Madden with my
friends on PS5.

513
00:29:31,100 --> 00:29:33,600
I love going to the city and
grabbing a drink and a piano bar

514
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,000
out here with my wife, and
taking my dog on the subway and

515
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,600
going to Central Park.
I love the feeling after a good.

516
00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:41,900
Workout.
I love closing a deal.

517
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,000
There's so many things that
bring me joy.

518
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:50,000
But I'd say like I said before
it was it was because I took the

519
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:56,300
time to invest in learning what
the world had to offer, like

520
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,500
listening to well-thought-out
words and reading articles and

521
00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:02,300
books and you know listening to
podcasts, that challenged, my

522
00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:06,700
mind that I was able to sort of
take from one podcast

523
00:30:06,700 --> 00:30:09,200
information and tie it to
another and then tighten that my

524
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:13,900
network of thought is so much
more sophisticated and balanced

525
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:18,600
than it once was because I
followed that Natural Curiosity,

526
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:22,400
that we all have instead of
suppressing it and now I'm able

527
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,100
to find joy and Many other
things in conversations with

528
00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:28,200
people of all different
perspectives and knowledge, base

529
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:34,800
disease, Etc, base base disease.
I think it's word Etc because I

530
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:38,400
followed that path.
So I guess lots of things bring

531
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:43,800
me joy but the reason being is
because I was never afraid to

532
00:30:44,300 --> 00:30:49,000
follow a path of thought
non-judgmentally.

533
00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:53,800
And that allows me to connect
with more things and people

534
00:30:55,100 --> 00:30:59,900
freely, without fear.
I wonder if do you have a

535
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,700
mistake that you can see is your
favorite mistake because of the

536
00:31:03,700 --> 00:31:10,500
lesson you got from it.
Oh my Definitely ties back to

537
00:31:10,900 --> 00:31:12,900
the last relationship.
I was in.

538
00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:18,200
I called this the this, this
concept.

539
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:26,900
I had a lack of diversity of
importance in my life.

540
00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:31,900
I was honed in on a relationship
to bring me the vast majority of

541
00:31:31,900 --> 00:31:35,100
my enjoy.
A lot of people have that

542
00:31:35,100 --> 00:31:39,800
relationship with food or with
work, or maybe again, with their

543
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,300
significant other or friends.
A lot of people are all about

544
00:31:43,300 --> 00:31:48,400
being a parent and that's like
majority of their Joy. that's

545
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:54,800
doing that was my biggest
mistake because I just Invested

546
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:58,500
in myself and my other
relationships and the things

547
00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:04,900
that brought me mental physical
and Financial Health far, too,

548
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,500
little, comparatively,
everything I did was oriented

549
00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:10,300
towards this one thing or
person.

550
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:16,600
So when that failed and I
realized all right man you got

551
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:20,600
to do something now because you
know chance like you can't be in

552
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,400
this situation again your
standard of living can't be like

553
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,600
this again that was my biggest
failure.

554
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:30,500
I would never change it because
I'm it woke me up but that was

555
00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:34,800
the moment that or the thing
that definitely changed me.

556
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,200
Is there one thing that's top of
mind that you wish more men

557
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:48,400
knew?
I wish more men knew that.

558
00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:53,200
What they thought about
themselves?

559
00:32:56,400 --> 00:33:02,900
Is far more important than what
anyone else can give you.

560
00:33:04,500 --> 00:33:08,200
My dad said something very
beautifully on an old podcast

561
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:11,800
that I had when I asked him a
very similar question and he

562
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,900
said if I could go back and talk
to my younger self, I would tell

563
00:33:14,900 --> 00:33:16,500
him.
You have worth, you have value,

564
00:33:16,500 --> 00:33:22,300
you are loved and you have every
reason to go out and build the

565
00:33:22,308 --> 00:33:25,200
best life that you possibly can
compared to anybody else.

566
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:26,900
There's no reason that you
should hold yourself back and

567
00:33:26,900 --> 00:33:28,900
that was something that you
struggle with for his whole life

568
00:33:28,900 --> 00:33:30,800
because of a lot of the
circumstances, the things that

569
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,700
has happened to him and a lot of
self talk, that was Over the

570
00:33:33,700 --> 00:33:37,600
years, I would Echo that
sentiment that my dad had,

571
00:33:37,700 --> 00:33:39,600
because it's about as true as
anything.

572
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:46,800
Awesome hitting you are such a
An explosively, joyous learning

573
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,900
machine, and of service on its
your energy is really

574
00:33:49,900 --> 00:33:51,000
infectious.
I love it.

575
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,800
What is the best way for people
to connect with you to learn

576
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:55,900
more about everything that
you're up to?

577
00:33:56,900 --> 00:33:59,000
Yeah, thanks man.
Instagrams.

578
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:02,300
Probably the central Hub that I
am the most active on social

579
00:34:02,300 --> 00:34:07,700
media, so that would be at Ted
Woolsey to Edie wol sey.

580
00:34:07,700 --> 00:34:10,000
I'm sure you put that in the
show, the show notes so you guys

581
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,000
can look that up.
But I also have a website where

582
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,400
I write articles And that's
going to be on all types of

583
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:19,100
things, Fitness diet and
behavioral oriented.

584
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,500
But yeah, my Instagram can be a
great Central Hub.

585
00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:26,699
Where you can see more of like
my thoughts on living a healthy

586
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,400
life, physically how that
translates to mental health, how

587
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:33,900
that translates to a meaningful
life and and so on, so on and so

588
00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:35,199
forth.
But I just love connecting with

589
00:34:35,199 --> 00:34:39,199
people seeing them how they live
out their lives and just kind of

590
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:43,300
interacting organically with
with the folks that ideally are

591
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:45,500
I'm learning a little bit
something for me to do the same

592
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,400
with them.
Awesome, thanks to you for being

593
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:52,500
here, thanks for for taking part
in your transformation and then

594
00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:54,500
sharing it with the world
because that's what just makes

595
00:34:54,500 --> 00:34:58,800
it, infinitely more powerful.
Hey, thank you.

596
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,400
I appreciate all the work that
you do man.

597
00:35:00,700 --> 00:35:04,300
And I'm already at a wedding
myself to the the Facebook

598
00:35:04,300 --> 00:35:07,500
group, I look forward to
interacting further and it's

599
00:35:07,500 --> 00:35:09,800
just an honor to be on the show.
Beautiful, beautiful.

600
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,300
Great to hear it some.
So again, thanks Teddy.

601
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,800
Thanks again for listening and
tuning in wherever you're

602
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,500
discovering real men.
Feel, please give us a like And

603
00:35:17,508 --> 00:35:19,900
subscribe and share.
Visit real men, feel that organ,

604
00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:22,000
see the blog posts for this
episode.

605
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,700
Get all the links to all the
various books and tools that

606
00:35:23,700 --> 00:35:25,700
were mentioned.
You can always reach out to me

607
00:35:25,700 --> 00:35:29,000
at real men, feel at gmail.com
Always glad to hear from you.

608
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,700
And as Ted mentioned, if you're
not in real men, feel private

609
00:35:31,700 --> 00:35:35,200
Facebook group, yet the heck you
waiting for just go to real men,

610
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,400
feel dot org slash group and
that'll pop you, right over to

611
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,800
Facebook and you can join up in
the conversation.

612
00:35:40,100 --> 00:35:44,400
And until next time, I want to
quote Teddy's, dad you have

613
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:46,100
worth.
You have value, and you are

614
00:35:46,100 --> 00:35:48,900
loved.
Please know that please live.

615
00:35:48,900 --> 00:35:49,400
That