Rules For Men | Where Do Yours Come From?

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Greetings and welcome to real
men.

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Feel I'm your host Andy Grant.
I'm an author speaker coach and

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healer.
You can visit v&d Grant.com to

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learn more.
About that, real men, feel

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exists to remind you.
That men are human beings and

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are entitled to feel and express
the entire range of human

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emotions.
You know, I look forward to the

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day when a man can be seen
sitting in public, sobbing,

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crying bawling.
Absolutely is losing his shit.

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And that people walk by and say
to themselves and each other.

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Now, that's a man.
Not sarcastically not

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ironically, but within a
realization and an acceptance.

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That a man expressing his
emotions especially in public.

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Might be the bravest, most
courageous thing, a man can do.

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Recently got an email and the
title was the laws of manhood.

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I rolled my eyes and but I
marked it to follow up and read

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it at some point.
Any time someone makes a list of

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rules or laws or vows that all
men must follow in order to be

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men.
I want to puke.

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So today is the day, I finally
had time and went back to read

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that article.
And there are rules and laws

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that Society teaches us and are
meant to create a better

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community.
And there were rules that are

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passed down from parents and
schools meant to have us behave

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and be quiet.
There are unconscious rules

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often tied to our gender and
social roles. those sort of

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things we pick up his kids that
are modeled by our parents and

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their actions, and in their
words, Such things as always,

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open the door for a woman.
Men never cry.

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Dad's going to bring home the
bacon and the unconscious rule

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can get you in trouble since it
is unconscious.

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You don't realize you're abiding
by it and you probably don't

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realize where it came from
either.

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Now, the oldest rules I could
think of are the 10 commandments

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I don't know anybody who's never
broken some of these, and in

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case you need a refresher, The
Ten Commandments are, you shall

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have no other gods before me?
Thou shalt not make unto thee.

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Any graven images.
Thou shalt not take the name of

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the Lord thy God in vain.
Remember the Sabbath day and

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keep it.
Holy honor thy mother and thy

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father.
Thou shalt not kill.

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Thou shalt not commit, adultery,
Thou shalt not steal, Thou

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shalt.
Not bear false.

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Witness don't lie.
Thou shalt not covet and always

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heard it was, I thought it was
Thou shalt not covet, thy

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neighbor's wife.
But like, most things search the

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internet for the Ten
Commandments and I find a lot of

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different versions.
So Thou shalt not covet.

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Anything Thou shalt not covet,
thy, neighbor's wife, whatever.

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No coveting allowed.
Again, I have not killed

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anybody, but that's about it.
I don't know about you.

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But back to the original email,
I got the one talking about the

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ten laws of Anode.
So I finally clicked on that and

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it landed a little better than
that that clickbait title.

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The actual article was entitled.
What are your laws of manhood?

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So again it's saying you're so
it's asking for people's input

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so as a little little less pukey
on my on my account anyway.

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So number One, never look at the
most beautiful woman in the

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room.
Ignore her and she will make

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herself more appealing to you.
So now I'm thinking, oh, I'm in

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some sort of pickup pickup,
artists, top 10 list.

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But the second one, when you
want to say something to the

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group speak loudly and clearly
than stop, everyone and

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continue.
Number three, respect everyone.

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Regardless of gender race.
Caste or profession giving

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respect is the symbol of
manhood.

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Number four is say no to alcohol
and cigarettes if you can

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resist.
It's okay to indulge in them on

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occasion but first try to avoid
them.

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It's like that little
wishy-washy in this rule here.

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So again they're kind of like
this, then the final one.

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I'm just going to jump to that.
Last but not least, real men.

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Go to the gym and to meditate
every day.

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Get up early.
Make plans for the next day at

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night, practice in front of the
mirror.

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Have good dress sense.
Respect everyone and let your

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charm speak for itself.
Well, first of all, there were

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eight rules jammed into their.
So these 12 laws are just full

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of things that this author likes
to do.

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I guess, I don't know, but all
that and that this isn't corn, I

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had a link and you can read what
lots of different people, what

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you can will be lots of
different men's ideas of their

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laws of manhood.
But it got me to thinking of

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some some rules for men that I
could get behind that.

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I was in total agreement with
With and it made me think of my

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friend and frequent guest of the
show.

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Jed Diamond.
One of his books is called 12

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rules of good men.
And they are number one, join a

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men's group number to break free
from the man box.

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Number three, accept the gift of
maleness number four, embrace

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your billion-year, male history.
Five.

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Recognize your anger and fear of
women for your of women was just

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a recent show.
We did number 6, learn the

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secrets of real lasting.
Love 7 undergo.

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Meaningful Rites of Passage
eight celebrates.

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Your true warrior spirit and
learn.

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Why a male's duel and females
duet 9 understanding heal your

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adverse childhood experiences.
Number 10, heal your father

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wound and become the father.
You were meant to be.

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Eleven treat the irritable male
syndrome and male type

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depression, and 12 find your
mission and life, and do your

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part to save Humanity.
Now, just from those titles just

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from that list, you might not
get the the gist the meaning of

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them all and that's why he wrote
a book.

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So each chapter in the book goes
deeper on those 12 rules and

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again, I totally get behind all
of those.

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So I wonder are there rules for
being a man that you follow

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without realizing it.
You have you made it ever made a

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vow?
Usually, they are a kind of a

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self imposed limitation.
I will never do this.

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I'll show never do that.
Right often made in anger or in

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reaction to being triggered by
someone did something and you

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vowed never to do that again.
Maybe you can revisit them.

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See if they're still valid the
oldest vow.

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I recall making like when I was
a, when I was a child, I swore I

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would never have kids and I
haven't.

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And sometimes that was a really
strict vow.

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And other times my life, you
know, maybe I'd say I was open

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to reconsidering it, there was
some flexibility there but just

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circumstances never never
unfolded that for me to be a

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father.
So it's less it became less of a

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vow but in any way it ended up
being true.

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Whatever that means you know if
you're living by rules, given to

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you by your father, and your dad
was a miserable bastard.

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Why would you follow them?
And if you've created rules that

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have you isolated lonely and
bitter.

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Be willing to try something
different.

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Give yourself permission to be a
little lacks in your own rules,

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just for a little while.
Experiment and see if life gets

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better.
I believe the best rules to live

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by are ones that you've proven
from your own experience.

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They can certainly originated
from other people, but if any

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rule law guideline or vow about
being a man doesn't bring more

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joy into your life.
I strongly suggest questioning

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it.
Maybe that's an unconscious rule

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for you.
That men aren't supposed to live

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lives of joy.
They can, if you have a rule to

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live by that, you think works
great.

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Please share it wherever you're
listening to this.

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Episode post a comment or shoot
me an email at real men.

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Feel at gmail.com, perhaps,
share this episode on social

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media, or via email to some
friends and include your

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favorite rule vow or guideline
for being a man.

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Anytime I talk about rules, I
remember the old line rules were

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made to be broken.
I'm sure you've heard that, but

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do you know where that comes
from again?

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According to the interweb, which
can be wrong.

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But according to the net,
Douglas MacArthur said rules,

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are mostly made to be broken and
are too often for the lazy to

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hide behind.
Interesting.

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So if you Google rules for men,
you'll find many people sharing

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their opinion on what those
rules are and should be.

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I invite you to decide for
yourself. make your own rules,

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make them true to you because
you matter, And you're authentic

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self matters even more.
Until next time, please make it

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a rule to be good to yourself.