Rules For Men | Where Do Yours Come From?

0:01 Greetings and welcome to real men. Feel I'm your host Andy Grant. I'm an author speaker coach and healer. You can visit v&d Grant.com to learn more. About that, real men, feel exists to remind you. That men are human beings and are entitled to feel and express the entire range of human emotions. You know, I look forward to the day when a man can be seen sitting in public, sobbing, crying bawling. Absolutely is losing his shit. And that people walk by and say to themselves and each other. Now, that's a man. Not sarcastically not ironically, but within a realization and an acceptance.

0:48 That a man expressing his emotions especially in public. Might be the bravest, most courageous thing, a man can do. Recently got an email and the title was the laws of manhood. I rolled my eyes and but I marked it to follow up and read it at some point. Any time someone makes a list of rules or laws or vows that all men must follow in order to be men. I want to puke. So today is the day, I finally had time and went back to read that article. And there are rules and laws that Society teaches us and are meant to create a better community. And there were rules that are passed down from parents and schools meant to have us behave and be quiet. There are unconscious rules often tied to our gender and social roles. those sort of things we pick up his kids that are modeled by our parents and their actions, and in their words, Such things as always, open the door for a woman. Men never cry.

1:54 Dad's going to bring home the bacon and the unconscious rule can get you in trouble since it is unconscious. You don't realize you're abiding by it and you probably don't realize where it came from either. Now, the oldest rules I could think of are the 10 commandments I don't know anybody who's never broken some of these, and in case you need a refresher, The Ten Commandments are, you shall have no other gods before me? Thou shalt not make unto thee. Any graven images. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it. Holy honor thy mother and thy father. Thou shalt not kill.

2:42 Thou shalt not commit, adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt. Not bear false. Witness don't lie. Thou shalt not covet and always heard it was, I thought it was Thou shalt not covet, thy neighbor's wife. But like, most things search the internet for the Ten Commandments and I find a lot of different versions. So Thou shalt not covet. Anything Thou shalt not covet, thy, neighbor's wife, whatever. No coveting allowed. Again, I have not killed anybody, but that's about it. I don't know about you. But back to the original email, I got the one talking about the ten laws of Anode. So I finally clicked on that and it landed a little better than that that clickbait title.

3:25 The actual article was entitled. What are your laws of manhood? So again it's saying you're so it's asking for people's input so as a little little less pukey on my on my account anyway. So number One, never look at the most beautiful woman in the room. Ignore her and she will make herself more appealing to you. So now I'm thinking, oh, I'm in some sort of pickup pickup, artists, top 10 list. But the second one, when you want to say something to the group speak loudly and clearly than stop, everyone and continue. Number three, respect everyone. Regardless of gender race. Caste or profession giving respect is the symbol of manhood.

4:10 Number four is say no to alcohol and cigarettes if you can resist. It's okay to indulge in them on occasion but first try to avoid them. It's like that little wishy-washy in this rule here. So again they're kind of like this, then the final one. I'm just going to jump to that. Last but not least, real men. Go to the gym and to meditate every day. Get up early. Make plans for the next day at night, practice in front of the mirror. Have good dress sense. Respect everyone and let your charm speak for itself. Well, first of all, there were eight rules jammed into their. So these 12 laws are just full of things that this author likes to do.

4:52 I guess, I don't know, but all that and that this isn't corn, I had a link and you can read what lots of different people, what you can will be lots of different men's ideas of their laws of manhood. But it got me to thinking of some some rules for men that I could get behind that. I was in total agreement with With and it made me think of my friend and frequent guest of the show. Jed Diamond. One of his books is called 12 rules of good men. And they are number one, join a men's group number to break free from the man box. Number three, accept the gift of maleness number four, embrace your billion-year, male history. Five.

5:36 Recognize your anger and fear of women for your of women was just a recent show. We did number 6, learn the secrets of real lasting. Love 7 undergo. Meaningful Rites of Passage eight celebrates. Your true warrior spirit and learn. Why a male's duel and females duet 9 understanding heal your adverse childhood experiences. Number 10, heal your father wound and become the father. You were meant to be. Eleven treat the irritable male syndrome and male type depression, and 12 find your mission and life, and do your part to save Humanity. Now, just from those titles just from that list, you might not get the the gist the meaning of them all and that's why he wrote a book.

6:29 So each chapter in the book goes deeper on those 12 rules and again, I totally get behind all of those. So I wonder are there rules for being a man that you follow without realizing it. You have you made it ever made a vow? Usually, they are a kind of a self imposed limitation. I will never do this. I'll show never do that. Right often made in anger or in reaction to being triggered by someone did something and you vowed never to do that again. Maybe you can revisit them. See if they're still valid the oldest vow. I recall making like when I was a, when I was a child, I swore I would never have kids and I haven't. And sometimes that was a really strict vow.

7:12 And other times my life, you know, maybe I'd say I was open to reconsidering it, there was some flexibility there but just circumstances never never unfolded that for me to be a father. So it's less it became less of a vow but in any way it ended up being true. Whatever that means you know if you're living by rules, given to you by your father, and your dad was a miserable bastard. Why would you follow them? And if you've created rules that have you isolated lonely and bitter. Be willing to try something different.

7:53 Give yourself permission to be a little lacks in your own rules, just for a little while. Experiment and see if life gets better. I believe the best rules to live by are ones that you've proven from your own experience. They can certainly originated from other people, but if any rule law guideline or vow about being a man doesn't bring more joy into your life. I strongly suggest questioning it. Maybe that's an unconscious rule for you. That men aren't supposed to live lives of joy. They can, if you have a rule to live by that, you think works great.

8:39 Please share it wherever you're listening to this. Episode post a comment or shoot me an email at real men. Feel at gmail.com, perhaps, share this episode on social media, or via email to some friends and include your favorite rule vow or guideline for being a man. Anytime I talk about rules, I remember the old line rules were made to be broken. I'm sure you've heard that, but do you know where that comes from again? According to the interweb, which can be wrong. But according to the net, Douglas MacArthur said rules, are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind. Interesting.

9:23 So if you Google rules for men, you'll find many people sharing their opinion on what those rules are and should be. I invite you to decide for yourself. make your own rules, make them true to you because you matter, And you're authentic self matters even more. Until next time, please make it a rule to be good to yourself.