Tapping Into The Strength of Men | The Power of Choice

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Hello and welcome to real men.
Feel, this is your host author

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coach and healer and D Grant,
please visit D&D Grant.com.

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To learn more.
About me, real men, feel is here

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to remind men that they're human
beings.

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And they have the right to
experience and express all of

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their emotions.
We have conversations that most

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men aren't having, but that all
men can benefit from.

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I believe that the only
definition of masculinity that

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really matters is yours.
You know, I love to give any man

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who is being of service, a
platform to share his message.

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I meant today's guest, Dustin
Baker, in an online program

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recently, and I was immediately
impressed by his his

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willingness, to be authentic and
vulnerable and his desire to

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help other men after, losing his
sense of Happiness.

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Dustin began making changes in
his life and slowly became aware

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of what his mind body.
And soul were trying to tell him

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Destin, did the research study
and inner work required to

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discover to ReDiscover his
happiness, his gone on to create

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A real living and the strength
of men, welcome to real men.

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Feel Dustin Thank you for having
me.

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It's my pleasure, let's just
jump right in and tell me a bit

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about what growing up was like,
for you.

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Um, I spent a lot of time alone,
I was with a single mother and

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she spent a lot of time.
Partying often had to wake up

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for school by myself.
Get ready.

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I remember getting ready for
pictures by myself, kind of just

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picking out whatever I wanted.
Where and that was, what I would

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be wearing in my pictures that I
still have in my baby book

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today.
So, It was a lot of time.

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Just spent thinking, really now
that I look back and wondering

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what the world had in store
trying to pay attention to.

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What the world was able to
provide at that time.

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What was was your general
thinking, positive, or negative

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or neutral?
But what kind of thoughts are

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you having?
I was often involved with team

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sports.
I spent a lot of time playing

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hockey as a minor and so I was
very focused on hockey.

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I kind of get into these periods
where I become very focused on

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whatever it is, I'm involved
with.

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And so it's always been very
positive.

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Of and I've been able to just
come at things from like an

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individual angle.
Not really influenced by too

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much outside because I'm very
introverted can often be awkward

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and I don't I don't necessarily
come up to people and ask them

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how they're feeling or what's
going on.

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So those are things that I have
slowly begun to work on.

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So did you end up falling your
mom's path of being a partier

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and doing things like that?
Or was your isolation kind of

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blast all through high school
and such So yes, I did party for

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quite a while just kind of near
the tail end of high school.

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I got into smoking weed around,
seventh grade, and that kind of

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became my connection.
With many people will do that

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meeting up smoking joints and
just that led to other things.

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My mom played hockey, as well,
when I was a minor, and she

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ended up being in, In a pretty
bad accident.

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When I was 11 years old and she
became paralyzed.

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And so prescription drugs became
a part of her life.

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So I spent a lot of time trying
to avoid prescription drugs and

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I used marijuana as my coping
for many, many years.

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Since it was just the two of
you.

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Were you a caretaker at age, 11
for your mom during that time,

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she had actually gotten married
and my stepfather.

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He was a partier as well.
And I don't really remember them

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being home too often.
They would, they were always

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gone out partying and yeah, like
I say just waking up by myself

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and going to school getting home
to having nobody there.

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Whether they were working or
partying, it was A lot of time

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spent alone and he's around that
time to that, they had a

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daughter.
So my sister.

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So I was an only child for quite
some time.

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So there was some adapting to do
with not being an only child

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anymore.
So during that time growing up

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and spending a lot of time alone
and being introverted and a

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thinker was was that was that
happiness for you or did we?

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You thinking about what was
missing like do you have any

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idea of what life could have
been?

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I've always had this idea that
I'm just a small part of this

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big world and I used to have
like these Visions as a kid

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where for some reason I was like
a big boy that would like turn

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to different like shapes and
sizes as it would like move

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through life.
And I don't know, I still

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haven't been able to piece
together, what that's actually

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meant and It's just been quite
the Journey of my whole entire

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life up until this point, like
every day is such a new

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experience and trying to learn
something new.

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So, when did you realize that
that life wasn't working for

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you, what that you had lost that
this sense of happiness?

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That really came to light.
I was with my ex partner for 17

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years.
I met her right out of high

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school.
It's been a lot of time partying

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with her became best friends,
got engaged, bought our house

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together, and that all sort of
fell apart.

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With me, partying and not being
so faithful.

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And then, I was working night
shift, one night and came home

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to a scene that usually would
only think of in the movies.

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And it was from that point on
where I decided to start making

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changes, happiness, is kind of
been Filtered in throughout my

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life.
Before that point I got into BMX

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in for quite a while and I think
launching myself off jumps at

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the skate park was my way of
coping during that time.

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Once so, there is another point
to where, so I became a scapular

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right around the time that I met
my ex partner.

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And so, I got right into the
trade.

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That became my new thing to
focus on and I want it to be the

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best Scout floor.
I could be Kind of I saw what it

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was like to be the guy in the
office and that was always my

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dream for quite some time.
And then I fell and got two

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fractures in my back.
And it was from that point where

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I kind of had to leave my BMX on
the garage wall, is it just hurt

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too much to go to work, ride my
bike, go to work and not be able

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to function to the ability that
I wanted to perform.

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At work.
And so I became to focus on what

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it would be like to change from
being in the field to work in

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that office life.
There's been a lot of time just

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getting familiar with
legislation and rules and had

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those opportunities to become
the office role like

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superintendent project manager.
And I realized that that wasn't

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fulfilling my needs either.
And so I had to make even more

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changes and was around 2019 when
I decided to sell everything,

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make some huge changes in my
life.

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So I want to back up a little
bit.

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You mentioned that because there
were there were millions of

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types of movies in the world.
He said it was this movie scene

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that really made.
You realize your life with your

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partner was not what you wanted.
Can you be more specific about

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about what what happened there?
I was working night shift and I

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had this crazy intuitive
feeling, that something was

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going on and told my boss the
time that I got to pack up and

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go home.
I gotta see what's going on.

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I opened the back door to my
house and there was my partner,

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having sex on the couch with
another dude. and so I remember

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her jumping up and being like
you're not going to be too happy

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obviously, and I ended up
kicking the shit out of that guy

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at that time, broke my hand on
his face and Well, just that was

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like, what have I created?
Have you always had that?

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That sense of intuition guiding
you or was that something you

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ignored often?
I do believe, I've often listen

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to that intuition, like riding
my bike.

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I was able to avoid quite a few
serious injuries.

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I would say and it was always
just following that and honoring

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that like taking the time to
focus.

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And taking the time to just
listen all that for sure.

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And so you're currently a
scaffolder still right?

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Apparently still scaffolding.
I'm currently a foreman.

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I decided to go back.
I took a job in an area that I

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had never been and be see, I
wasn't kidding Mac and so I just

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wanted to see that whole side of
things living in Camp and gone

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back to working night shift.
So it's there's a part of me

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that felt like I was taking a
step back moving forward.

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However there are certain
aspects that I was still

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intrigued to want to experience.
Yes.

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So it is a camp of scaffolders
up in the far north of Canada.

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Is that a community that gets
together to the day and talks

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about happiness and meaning and
fulfillment know that camp

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actually.
So it's a multi trade Camp.

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There's various trades from all
different Genres from laborers

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to Crane operators electricians.
So the cab is brand new facility

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and they have provided quite a
few amenities such as having a

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weekly men's talk, every Sunday.
However, working night shift

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limits, me from attending that
There has been kind of some

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silence on my end until I get
back to Drumheller where I

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currently reside and I host a
men's Gathering every every time

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I'm available.
Cool.

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And what do you do in your in
your men's Gathering?

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I tried to just have no agenda,
see who who's interested in even

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showing up.
I changed it from a men Circle

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to men's Gathering.
Just change the wording and

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hopes of having other men, kind
of be interested, just in the

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word itself.
Meant Circle to me, still sounds

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kind of like some hippy dippy
whoosh it and so I changed that

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so that I could appeal to myself
more and And to the men that I

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hope to connect with, and yeah,
in that I just try to pass along

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tools that I've learned.
So what are some of the tools

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you've learned?
What, what, what did you do in

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your life to create more
happiness?

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I had to let a lot of things, go
realizing that I have the power

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of choice and that choice is the
superpower that we all have.

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I'm choosing to let go of things
that I felt slowed me down or

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got in my way of being my true.
Authentic self like smoking

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weed.
Never thought I'd quit smoking

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weed.
It was like an everyday.

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Go to work Stone.
Get stoned at work.

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Get home and smoke some more.
So, I was able to give that up

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and as also able to give up
drinking realizing that waking

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up.
Hungover is not who I want to

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be.
Remember my mom saying like do

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the same thing over and over
expecting something different?

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You're just driving yourself
crazy, let alone being crazy so

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I started to actually think
about those things and make the

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changes breath work has become a
huge part of my experience these

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days and I love the experience
that the different breathwork

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Journeys.
Can provide and the feeling of

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how Close that experiences of
just the ability of my breath to

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take me on Journeys, that only
taking mushrooms or doing some

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sort of hallucinogenic would
take me on in the past.

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Yeah, yeah, I remember, when I
first discovered holotropic

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breathwork?
Yeah.

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Like maybe two thousand nine or
ten.

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I've probably done it 10 times
this point and I was amazed

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like, how yeah, that I could
have what felt like an acid trip

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at times, just for my breath.
And I remember talking to people

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Like if we brought this to
schools, like kids were stopped

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using drugs because it cause
your breath is free and and it's

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number.
There's no side effects to this

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either.
It was it was just amazing.

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Is there?
One thing that you see as the

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strength of men or is it
different for each person?

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The strength of men to me is the
connection to emotion and being

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able to have that ability to
express expression is our

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strength.
And it's changing it from this,

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what it's thought to be to a
more emotional connection to

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that.
Getting out of your head and

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more into your heart, 100%, and
looking back, is that something

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you realized all along?
Or, you know, like what, what,

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what got you there?
I've always been very emotional

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tears of often.
Always been able to find our way

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to my face.
Whether I was getting in shit

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for something even into my
adulthood at work.

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Doing something wrong tears
would always come and it's

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taking some time to realize
that.

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I just didn't have the proper
ways to express how I was

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feeling even till.
Like right now, I feel this

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emotion and I see the changes in
my face, looking in the camera

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and I have more of a pride in
that.

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Now like there's not a lot of
men who are willing to reach

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that point inside of themselves.
Yes.

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And I love having that ability.
So cool.

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00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,500
And did you always love that
ability?

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00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:52,100
No, I know that.
I know, I knew that answer and

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00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:55,500
I've lived that answer.
So, yeah, so what what made you

231
00:15:55,500 --> 00:16:04,400
appreciate your emotions?
Just realizing how it connected

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00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:13,200
me to myself. that true form of
connection to my heart, my mind,

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00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:17,900
my body, kind of brought all the
pieces together instead of

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00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:23,000
Blocking one of them out by
thinking, I Wasn't Man Enough or

235
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:27,900
using anger as a defense to
look.

236
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,300
What the fuck are you talking
about?

237
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:34,600
Like, I've now been able to let
all that resentment towards

238
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:39,600
myself, go, and just find that
connection to myself and be

239
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:46,700
proud of it and be willing to
express what comes up and not

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00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:52,100
keep things hidden.
How do you know, like are there

241
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:54,000
is there is there physical
Sensations?

242
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,900
Like how do you know you have
that connection?

243
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:04,599
I think there's a sensation that
I feel kind of in my chest.

244
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:10,000
It's, I guess comparable to
butterflies or yeah, I think

245
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,700
butterflies would be, the
biggest comparison and realizing

246
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:17,599
that that is my senses telling
me something.

247
00:17:19,099 --> 00:17:21,800
So is the your program
distinctive men?

248
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,800
Is that the men's Gathering or
other other aspects to that

249
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,800
right now?
Currently.

250
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,300
It's the men's gatherings.
I have a few things that I've

251
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,700
been wanting to work on, but
taking this night shift rolls,

252
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:37,900
kind of put those on the back,
burner for the financial

253
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:40,100
stability that I was looking to
create.

254
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:45,100
In the meantime, though, I have
been able to create a grounding

255
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,300
spray.
I called the storm.

256
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:54,700
I was just I had these thoughts
of, when did I Feel Complete

257
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:57,900
freedom and took me back.
Back to a time.

258
00:17:57,900 --> 00:18:00,500
When I was riding my bike
through princess Island Park in

259
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:05,500
Calgary and the smell of wood
chips, cedar wood chips, came to

260
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:10,100
me, I was like, oh that's sent
just takes me to this place in

261
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:15,900
my mind where I just want to be.
So I was like going to all these

262
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:23,700
crystal shops and finding out
more about the metaphysical side

263
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:29,100
of things getting into smudging
and I was like, there's all

264
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:34,900
these things that are to me kind
of more appealing to women since

265
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:39,500
that are available are very
florally and it's just not a lot

266
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:45,300
of things available at the shops
that appeal to men, So, I did

267
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:51,000
some research on essential oils.
And kind of was a little chemist

268
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,200
down in the basement mixing.
These different scents together

269
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,700
to see what I could come up
with.

270
00:18:56,300 --> 00:19:00,500
I was able to mix eight, which
is kind of that number of

271
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:05,500
affinity or things.
Keep going around and feed one

272
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:06,800
at all.
Comes back around.

273
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:12,500
So, yeah, I call it the storm
and it stands for strength

274
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:16,700
transforms.
Our reasoning mind, And so the

275
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:22,200
intention behind it is when I'm
myself and feeling in the middle

276
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,800
of the storm.
My mind turns to chaos, I can't

277
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:31,800
slow down to remembering to
spray a little bit and kind of

278
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:35,600
allow my mind to calm down and
take me to that place of

279
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:40,600
Freedom.
Was it possible for you to feel

280
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:45,900
connected to your authentic self
when you were drunk or high?

281
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:52,300
No.
To me, those, I started to see

282
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:59,900
that those were masks. kind of
Li me to present this image that

283
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:06,900
got in the way of me having that
connection. was dropping those

284
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:11,600
masks more difficult because of
the kind of the laboring

285
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:17,500
community that you're part of
There was a time when I would

286
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:22,200
say yes.
Until I started to realize the

287
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:29,600
power of choice and where I
wanted to allow my abilities to

288
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:35,400
be influenced and finding my
strength in those choices to

289
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:40,500
know that.
I don't need to try to fit in

290
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:43,700
with that environment.
I can still be my own man.

291
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:49,100
Kind of dropping all those ideas
of what I thought it was to be a

292
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:52,300
man and just become the man I
want to be in.

293
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:57,500
So I get that this may be very
difficult to answer, but how did

294
00:20:57,500 --> 00:20:59,900
you learn what it meant to be?
A man, though, the kind of those

295
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,500
false stories.
Where do they come from?

296
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:08,900
Who.
So I, my father was not really

297
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:14,100
around when I was a kid, I spent
a few odd weekends with him.

298
00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:21,000
I remember my mom's first
boyfriend, back then, he was

299
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:26,100
very abusive verbally,
physically towards my mom.

300
00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:30,900
And when I did meet up with my
father, I'd have to meet him in

301
00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:33,100
random coffee shops, or
whatever.

302
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:36,200
Because if there was the
connection made between, Teen

303
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:38,700
who I called my stepfather at
that time.

304
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:45,500
And my real father, there would
be police involved and So I

305
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:49,800
never really had what I thought
it was to be a real man until I

306
00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:54,400
began working.
And then it was my supervisors

307
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:58,800
that I began to look towards for
that fatherly role.

308
00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:04,400
And I think that's where I drew
most of my influence from And

309
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:08,600
yeah they were drug addicts and
okay so it was the influence to

310
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,500
keep the masks as opposed to let
them down.

311
00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:16,100
Then yes, what was there a male
influence that you could see to

312
00:22:16,100 --> 00:22:18,600
give those things up to get that
connection to be grounded in

313
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:24,400
your in your true self?
Honestly, no good.

314
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:31,700
So, as your own, experimentation
yeah, it is is those feelings

315
00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:35,700
that I had to start paying
attention to and wondering like

316
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:42,100
who am I without these things
and wanting to experience that

317
00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:46,100
more than I want to experience
being high or being drunk?

318
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:50,400
And you have another project
called for real living.

319
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,100
God, tell me about that
free-living.

320
00:22:53,600 --> 00:23:00,000
So forever Outdoors.
Reliving, I was able to in 2019

321
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:06,300
While still with my ex-partner,
we sold all of our possessions,

322
00:23:06,300 --> 00:23:10,700
sold our home and decided to
live on the road.

323
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:17,800
And I wanted to kind of create a
brand that brought what it was

324
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:24,200
like, for my vision of what it
was like to be for real living

325
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:30,600
and reliving to me, which was
The general idea of it is

326
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:37,600
envisioning that I was like
Frontier Cowboy back in the day

327
00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:43,100
and packing everything into my
horse and carriage and just

328
00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:45,400
hittin the road and see where I
end up.

329
00:23:46,700 --> 00:23:51,400
I was able to I started my
adventure in Calgary where we

330
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:56,200
sold, everything, went to
Vancouver Island as far west as

331
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,500
I could get.
And then slowly started to make

332
00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:05,500
my way East made it to Ontario
in 2021.

333
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,800
So when I got off the island, I
was kind of when covid, kind of

334
00:24:09,808 --> 00:24:14,200
really started to come in.
And when I got back to Calgary

335
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:19,300
to kind of regroup, after that,
I've right in the middle of

336
00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:22,700
everything being kind of
starting to shut down.

337
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:27,400
And so I was used to being alone
and self-sufficient at that time

338
00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:33,200
and kind of regroup slowly made
our way to Ontario.

339
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,200
And that's where my ex-partner
and I kind of really had this

340
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,000
realization that we're on
totally different paths.

341
00:24:41,300 --> 00:24:45,000
I wasn't able to let go of my
resentment for what I had

342
00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:51,800
witnessed and so she decided to
fly back to Calgary to start her

343
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:57,400
life over and I stayed out and
Ontario and continued, my vision

344
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:01,900
of free living.
Is there a particular practice

345
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,800
or program or book that helped
you that you'd like to share

346
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:08,300
with others?
Huh.

347
00:25:08,300 --> 00:25:14,700
Into the wild was the movie that
really lit the fire under me and

348
00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:21,800
just all the things that Society
has kind of programmed me to our

349
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,700
condition me to believe.
That's normal.

350
00:25:25,700 --> 00:25:32,500
Don't need to be my normal.
And so if there's one thing I

351
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:36,100
would recommend it would be
watch that movie and listen to

352
00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:41,600
the songs that play in there,
Eddie Vetter and Really just try

353
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:48,600
to take in what it is for
somebody to feel that freedom of

354
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,600
the things that you've learned
and experienced is there.

355
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:59,200
One thing that you wish more men
knew The power of our choice.

356
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:07,500
Reactions are a choice.
Everything we do is a choice and

357
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:14,600
just having the strength to know
that choices are made to provide

358
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,200
an experience.
Those experiences are whatever

359
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:24,100
we want them to be.
Did you see kind of the majority

360
00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:29,000
of men or people around you just
kind of running on autopilot and

361
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,400
making not making choices, just
keep doing the same thing by

362
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:35,200
default.
Yes, I would, totally think it's

363
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:39,500
almost like a default just by
previous choices that they have

364
00:26:39,500 --> 00:26:46,000
made and it kind of just unfold
this lifestyle that they have to

365
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:50,900
just keep showing up for that
specific way, as you share more

366
00:26:51,100 --> 00:26:55,700
Yourself.
In in your world and in the

367
00:26:55,700 --> 00:26:58,900
night, shift jobs and then labor
positions and things.

368
00:26:59,300 --> 00:27:02,200
Well first do you do that?
And if you do, what sort of

369
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:09,900
reaction do you get or Lately.
It's been received very well.

370
00:27:10,700 --> 00:27:17,100
There has been a change in the
mindfulness and Expression these

371
00:27:17,100 --> 00:27:21,100
days.
So it is more well-received

372
00:27:21,100 --> 00:27:27,000
these days and everything you've
gone through personally and the

373
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,500
things that you created for the
men so far, does anything stand

374
00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:36,500
out that you're most proud of
For myself, it would be the

375
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:39,700
freedom that I have been able to
create for myself.

376
00:27:41,300 --> 00:27:50,200
I don't, I've been able to limit
my monthly expenses to $700 and

377
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:55,500
to me that allows this sense of
Freedom that I haven't felt for

378
00:27:55,500 --> 00:28:00,200
years and it's through the
choices I've made.

379
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:05,600
Like, I don't have children.
I Don't have a home anymore

380
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,900
other than like my current
partner.

381
00:28:07,900 --> 00:28:14,700
I live with her pay her rent.
So being able to have what I

382
00:28:14,700 --> 00:28:20,200
feel is my freedom by being able
to hop in my truck and go

383
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:24,500
wherever I want.
I currently drive a forerunner

384
00:28:24,500 --> 00:28:29,800
that I've well equipped to be
able to take me basically

385
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:34,100
anywhere I want to go And I do
take it basically anywhere.

386
00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:37,900
I want to go and I've been able
to live those experiences and

387
00:28:39,100 --> 00:28:43,900
take myself down Forest roads
where somebody hasn't travelled

388
00:28:43,900 --> 00:28:48,200
for years and hopefully not get
stuck, but the few times they

389
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:53,400
had been Getting myself into
some tree pretty tricky

390
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:56,700
situations.
I've been resourceful enough

391
00:28:56,700 --> 00:28:59,300
through the skills I've learned
throughout my life too.

392
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:05,700
Be able to walk out somehow and
be able to find help or be

393
00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:09,200
resourceful enough to use the
tools that I brought with me to

394
00:29:09,700 --> 00:29:13,100
get my vehicle out of some of
the places I've got it.

395
00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:18,400
Ideally, what would you like to
see the strength of men become?

396
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,600
I would like to see the strength
of men become.

397
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:32,600
That's really good question.
So many pieces that I'd like to

398
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:36,200
just piece together and have a
general answer.

399
00:29:41,100 --> 00:29:47,700
To me.
I just want it to be.

400
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:57,200
That connection and I want it to
be more comfortable for men too.

401
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,200
Grab another man and fucking cry
together.

402
00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:16,300
The feel that connection. it is
becoming more familiar to many

403
00:30:16,300 --> 00:30:21,300
men these days but like being
throwing myself back into the

404
00:30:21,300 --> 00:30:27,200
construction industry and seeing
the side that I've kind of tried

405
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:31,500
to step away from and what I
guess is referred to as the

406
00:30:31,500 --> 00:30:42,500
toxic masculinity. and, I just
Want that way of expression to

407
00:30:42,500 --> 00:30:47,600
not have to be anger or
aggression or making fun of

408
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:53,200
others for how they choose to
express their feelings toxic.

409
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,800
Masculine is been used so much.
It become this world but to me

410
00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:00,500
it's more, it's the sense of
rigid masculinity that men must

411
00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:03,100
be this one way.
And these really narrow walls of

412
00:31:03,100 --> 00:31:08,800
what masculinity means and from
my experience, you will want to

413
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,100
push that wider.
And let all the emotions be part

414
00:31:12,100 --> 00:31:14,700
of of masculinity.
Not have a toxic version and an

415
00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:17,000
open version, or a softer
version, or whatever frickin

416
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,700
adjectives.
There are these days around it

417
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:22,000
just like, I always say.
When someone asks me what it

418
00:31:22,008 --> 00:31:24,400
means like what what do you do?
Great.

419
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,300
Well, that's what a man does.
It is.

420
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:31,100
Is no comparison is just like,
what however you spend every

421
00:31:31,100 --> 00:31:34,000
living moment.
That that's what masculinity is,

422
00:31:35,700 --> 00:31:37,600
you mentioned, whoo stuff
earlier, too.

423
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,700
And like I do so many things
that are freaking We went out

424
00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:43,400
there and things, I made fun of
and now embrace them because

425
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:47,100
they work.
So it's that willingness to try

426
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:50,900
new things to experiment to step
out of that narrow, container of

427
00:31:50,900 --> 00:31:53,800
what men are supposed to be,
especially if it comes from

428
00:31:53,900 --> 00:31:56,700
people that are fucking
miserable, right?

429
00:31:56,700 --> 00:32:01,000
So, you know, you have the right
to be happy, every human being

430
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,400
has the right to be happy.
I don't think anyone's put here

431
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,600
to just to suffer and sludge
through a miserable experience.

432
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:11,100
I just don't believe that and as
you said our Choices can make

433
00:32:11,100 --> 00:32:14,600
that, but but new choices can
change all that as well.

434
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:17,500
So I love that.
Have you found your own personal

435
00:32:17,500 --> 00:32:21,300
vision of freedom is being
really a mobile.

436
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,000
Yeah, so, it's interesting that
your kind of your self

437
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:29,400
sufficient yet, you want
connection to, so it's not one

438
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:30,800
or the other, and I think that's
beautiful.

439
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:40,200
I really had to learn that
Community is another strength

440
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,400
that we have as a society seem
to have.

441
00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:49,900
Just let go.
Each person offers so much value

442
00:32:49,900 --> 00:32:56,800
to another's experience that
trying to push everything away,

443
00:32:57,700 --> 00:33:02,000
doesn't work.
And there's tools that need to

444
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:06,600
be learned from everyone and the
ability to help.

445
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:10,400
Others is a huge part of our
existence.

446
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:14,500
Yeah and one thing that was
never made clear to me growing

447
00:33:14,500 --> 00:33:18,600
up helping someone else being of
service comes with such a

448
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:23,500
tremendous reward like it.
Sometimes I feel like I'm more

449
00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:25,500
helped.
When I help someone else have

450
00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:27,000
some breakthrough, some
realization, whatever it may be,

451
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,100
there's this.
There is just such this

452
00:33:29,100 --> 00:33:33,700
fantastic Exchange in those
experiences, you find that I do.

453
00:33:33,700 --> 00:33:38,600
And I've noticed that in a lot
of like various podcasts and

454
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:44,400
that connection that they create
for the person hosting and the

455
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:49,700
interviewee and how just the
Questions that are asked or the

456
00:33:49,900 --> 00:33:56,200
responses that are given its
there's that each other.

457
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,500
Each of them are healing each
other through those

458
00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:04,000
conversations and that has
become very bright.

459
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,200
And I can see that in so many
different things that I read

460
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:13,100
through and watch Destiny.
Is there anything else you want

461
00:34:13,100 --> 00:34:19,600
to share or pass along?
I would like to thank you for

462
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:26,699
allowing this space too.
Create and express very grateful

463
00:34:26,699 --> 00:34:35,000
for that.
Just want to offer. men that

464
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:40,300
they can be whoever they want to
be as we touched on each part

465
00:34:40,300 --> 00:34:49,000
where all men, no matter what,
we've come to believe and Be the

466
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:53,800
man that you want to be and
Dustin what's the best way for

467
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,600
people to learn more about what
you're up to?

468
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:00,400
I do have an Instagram page at
the strength of men.

469
00:35:00,900 --> 00:35:04,900
I'm on Facebook as well, that
the strength of men have a

470
00:35:04,908 --> 00:35:09,800
website, the strength of men and
kind of my travel page is

471
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:18,900
free-living.
F dot 0 dot reall There's only

472
00:35:18,900 --> 00:35:21,500
one L in there and it's kind of
weird to spell.

473
00:35:22,100 --> 00:35:24,200
All right.
Whip will spell it out for for

474
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:25,800
all the, all the links that
mentioned.

475
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,000
All the resources that have been
talked about visit Wheelman

476
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,500
field at org, to be a blog post
with this episode, and we'll

477
00:35:30,500 --> 00:35:32,700
have all the different ways to
follow and connect with dust in

478
00:35:32,700 --> 00:35:34,800
there.
Dustin, thanks for stepping

479
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,600
forward.
Thanks for saying, yes, when I,

480
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:42,900
when I offered this to you, and
Thanks for your bravery and

481
00:35:42,900 --> 00:35:48,000
being yourself.
Because I know how ask what a

482
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,700
scary thing that can be for a
man.

483
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,900
But you're giving permission to
everyone else out there, to take

484
00:35:54,900 --> 00:35:56,300
the risk to be themselves as
well.

485
00:35:57,900 --> 00:35:59,700
So it's truly valuable and
appreciated.

486
00:36:01,100 --> 00:36:04,200
Thank you, Andy.
Thanks for everyone listening to

487
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,700
us today, wherever you're
discovering real men.

488
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:09,400
Feel, please give a like a
subscription, a comment, share

489
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,700
this with somebody.
You can always reach me at real

490
00:36:11,700 --> 00:36:13,100
men.
Feel at gmail.com.

491
00:36:13,100 --> 00:36:15,400
Always glad to hear from you.
And if you haven't yet, joined

492
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:19,000
the private Facebook group.
We have one visit real men, feel

493
00:36:19,100 --> 00:36:21,900
dot org, slash group.
It'll take you right there, and

494
00:36:21,900 --> 00:36:24,300
you can have the that community,
that connection, that we've been

495
00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:26,600
talking about that.
That is one of the strengths of

496
00:36:26,700 --> 00:36:30,100
Men that we don't take advantage
of everybody, but, uh, until

497
00:36:30,100 --> 00:36:31,900
next time be good to yourself.