The DUDE Project with Kyle Mitchell

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Hello and welcome to Real Men
Feel.

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I'm your host, author, coach and
healer, Andy Grant.

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Please visit theandygrant.com to
learn more about me.

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Real Men Feel reminds men that
they are human beings and they

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have the right to experience and
express all of their emotions.

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We have conversations that most
men are not having, but that all

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men can benefit from.
My guest today is Kyle Mitchell.

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Kyle is a mental health
advocate, speaker, author, and

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influencer with a massive
mission to help 1,000,000 teams

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go from socially anxious to
socially confident.

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He recently created the Dude
Project because conversations

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about mental health do not
resonate with teenage boys.

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We discuss ways to connect with
boys around their mental

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resilience, things that parents
can do to the things that

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parents can do to best support
their kids, how to move beyond

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victimhood, and ending the false
belief that feeling is a

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weakness.
Kyle also shares his top

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strategy for handling social
media and the one thing he

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wishes more men knew.
Let's do it.

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Hello Kyle, and welcome to Real
MEN Feel.

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Hey Andy, thanks for having me
on.

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Excited to be here.
Cool, it was just in August, you

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had emailed me told me about the
the dude project that you worked

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on and and you wanted to come on
real men feel and talk about it.

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So let's start where the the
starting belongs and tell me

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what the dude project is.
Yeah, the Dude Project is a

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program that I designed that is
to talk about mental health in a

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way that resonates to the male
audience.

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So I think traditionally we kind
of promote the idea of mental

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health in kind of a feminine way
or, and maybe you can even say

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in a way that doesn't doesn't
resonate or relate to a lot of

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men, especially these young boys
who are, you know, kind of

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growing up with the the online
influencers and this kind of

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nasty narrative of not allowed
to feel things because feeling

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is weakness.
You're not allowed to be sad

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because the sadness is weakness.
And I always find that I kind of

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ironic because in my mind, if
you don't feel and you just push

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everything down, that that is a
weakness that is a can be very

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detrimental to you.
So the Dude Project is all just

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about presenting the same ideas,
just in a way that resonates

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better for boys.
So, so what's an example of

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that?
How how do you talk about mental

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health in a way that will will
connect more with a with a young

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man today?
So one example of that is just

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using a different term other
than mental health might, might

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sound a a little odd, but I
found that after talking to boys

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that if you use words like how
to build mental strength or

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mental resilient, they're way
more apt to like listen and like

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take action and you know, and be
interested.

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And it makes sense.
I mean, so if I think of it from

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by like compared to like
physical health.

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So, you know, I go to the gym
just about every day.

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I like to eat pretty clean.
I like to, you know, stay, stay

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fit.
And if somebody asked me like

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Kyle, you know, why do you go to
the gym?

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Why you why do you do those
things?

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I wouldn't tell you.
It's because I'm trying to stay

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physically healthy, right?
It's I, I'm trying to get

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stronger.
I'm trying to get bigger faster.

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Like those are the things that
interest me.

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Like, yeah, deep down I'm, you
know, I'm trying to stay healthy

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too, but that's not my main
thing.

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That's not what I'm thinking
about at all.

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Like I'm trying to get stronger.
I mean that that's what's fun to

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me.
So I think just doing what one

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example is just doing some kind
of subtle shifts in how we talk

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about it to really get them more
interested and have that message

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resonate better with them.
Even though it really means the

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same thing when you're talking
about your mindset, when you're

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talking about, you know, mental
resilience and mental strength.

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I mean, those are all just
aspects of mental health.

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But like I said, you just got
to, depending on the audience

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that you're talking to, you got
to change up how you talk a

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little bit.
Right.

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And that makes total sense.
Like I don't discuss mental

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health.
I don't use that term anywhere

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except on podcasts.
Like I don't think it's

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mentioned on my websites.
It's not when I'm when I'm

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talking to someone about
coaching is just it's not there.

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I'm talking like what got me
into my mental health was I was

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tired of thinking I was better
off dead, right?

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I was sick of thinking life
sucks.

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And that's how I really
communicate with people

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one-on-one.
Yeah, I'm not going.

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How's your mental health today?
And you know.

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Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.

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So understand that there are
some core principles that that

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guide the Dude project.
Can you tell me about those?

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Yeah.
So it's all about, you know,

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having to building like a growth
mindset, you know, getting

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emotional regulation, you know,
building the tribe, building

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this kind of support circle,
learning how to reflect and self

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improve.
And then kind of what we've just

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been talking about a little bit
with, you know, taking care of

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your body because that's a very
important thing when it comes to

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mental health.
But yeah, those are like my 5

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core principles when it comes to
the Dude projects.

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What got you interested in not
mental health, you know, feeling

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better.
What got you interested in

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wanting to feel better?
Let's go there.

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Yeah, because I, I didn't notice
this until I started kind of

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doing the dude project.
But yeah, I don't think of what

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I do on a daily basis as of like
this.

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I'm trying to do this for my
mental health.

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Like, yes, I am, but I, I almost
think of it more of like I'm

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trying to like build like an
optimal mindset type of thing,

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you know, and make sure my, I, I
have, you know, mental strength

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and those types of things.
But I think what really got me

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into it was right when I
graduated college, so I got

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this, you know, fancy degree.
I got one kid and then another

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one on the way with my now wife
and I could not get a job.

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You know, I'd come out with this
degree thinking I'm about to

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make some money.
I'm about to provide and here I

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am like I can't do anything.
I I felt like a piece of crap as

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a man who was like, I can't even
provide for my family.

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I am making garbage money part
time work.

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Like I got to figure this out
and like that was just like over

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taking my mind.
That's all I thought about.

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And it made me feel like crap.
I mean, just made me feel

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horrible all the time.
If you're constantly thinking

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about all that negative stuff,
that makes you feel bad.

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So I I don't remember how
exactly.

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Oh, yeah, yeah, I do.
So I started getting into

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developing some sort of morning
routine.

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And the reason I did was because
I I went to the gym with my

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brother and he was playing this
kind of like, soundtrack by Eric

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Thomas.
I don't know if you've ever

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you've ever heard of Eric
Thomas.

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So he's like a, he's a
motivational speaker.

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He also goes by ET the hip hop
preacher.

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But so I, I heard the him talk
and saying something along the

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lines of like, you got to stop
feeling sorry for yourself and

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start controlling the things
that you can control, focusing

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on what you can do.
And that really had a chord with

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me.
I was like, I have been doing

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nothing but just throwing pity
parties for myself.

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So I was like, OK, I'm just
going to, I'm going to, you

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know, I'm going to start getting
up a little early.

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I'm going to do stuff for me.
I'm going to do the stuff that I

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can control.
So it started with just me

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incrementally waking up earlier
and earlier and earlier and then

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kind of starting my day, not
really with mental health

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practices, but really just
starting to whether that's kind

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of improve my resume or look for
jobs or spend a lot of my time

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learning.
I'm just studying how to, you

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know, just building up my
skills, that type of thing

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during a lot of online courses.
And then that kind of turned

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into getting into meditation
and, you know, practicing

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gratitude and, you know, it's
just constantly evolving.

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It's it's my favorite thing.
Morning routine just become like

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one of my obsessions of like,
how strong can I make my mind on

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a daily basis?
What are the practices I can do

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every day to where I can make
myself as mentally strong as

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possible?
And it's it's like a game to me.

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It's fun.
So I'm always like trying out

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different things that I hear.
My most recent one over the past

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year or so is like the the hype
over Ice Pass.

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That's something I tried and I
implement.

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I love it.
And but yeah, it's always just

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trying to evolve and get better.
And but yeah, that that's how I

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got started.
But it's me feeling like crap

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getting out of college.
So when you were in high school,

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could you, would you ever
imagine that there'd be a time

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that you would be into
meditation and gratitude

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practicing and, and all those
sort of things?

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I'm not sure I knew what that
stuff was.

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Let's be honest with you.
I, I say all the time, I, I

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don't think I knew what mental
health was in high school.

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It's not something we talked
about.

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I hope they talk about that more
now, but back then we didn't.

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I'm not that far removed from
high school, you know, about 10

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years or so.
But no, that those weren't

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things that I really knew about.
I think I'd maybe have known

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like that meditation kind of
just just kind of, but probably

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have seen it as kind of like a,
you know, a woo woo thing or

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something that like certain
religions practice like Buddhism

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and stuff like that.
But I never saw it as like a

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regular thing that people did.
And does the Dude Project, are

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you targeting high school age
kids or just, you know, guys in

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their 20s or what?
Who are you?

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Who are you trying to reach?
It's primarily middle and high

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school kids.
So yeah, getting in that stage

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of like puberty and about to go
into adulthood, which I think is

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a really good age to start
really attacking that stuff.

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That way you can come out of
high school strong.

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Well, good.
Then you should be.

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You're the one changing that
There shouldn't be anyone still

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in high school that doesn't know
what meditation is, that you're

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'cause you're in there telling
them.

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Yeah.
Yeah, I'm doing my best.

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What stressors are teens today
facing that like prior

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generations just just didn't
even have to deal with?

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I mean, the obvious one is
social media, right?

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We're all, I mean, we're all
addicted to it.

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I think teens today on another
her, I don't want to say like

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I'm less addicted than they are,
but I I think it's different

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just because it's a technology
that they've grown up with and

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has been normal throughout their
entire life.

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Whereas social media that maybe
came out a little bit before

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high school for for me, but I
don't think I started using it.

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It's like freshman year and you
know, so I wasn't, I wasn't, or

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I was like 15, maybe 16 years
old until I started using it.

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But I mean, I think like the
average age now is like 10

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getting on social media, which
is like not good.

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You should not let your kids get
on social media at 10 years old.

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That's a whole whole host of
problems.

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But that's like the biggest
thing right now is social media.

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That's probably like the biggest
stressors.

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There must be something specific
about it or is it just the, the,

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the, the constant judging or the
OR fear of missing out or like,

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what, what, what is it?
It can't, it can't just be that,

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you know, social media exists
and it destroys lives like

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there's got to, you know, is it,
you know, checking it too much?

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Is it, you know, living by the
algorithm I?

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Think it's several things, so it
may be multiples for some people

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and then maybe it's just
specific things, but kind of

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like the FOMO, you know, the
fear of missing out for some

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people, the dopamine addiction
that that comes with it.

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You know, the kind of the online
bullying and the the trolling

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that comes with it.
That's a big one because people

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don't or teenagers don't know to
not take that stuff seriously or

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just don't read the comments.
I mean, don't post to get

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comments, I'd say is a big one,
but I think it's a little

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00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:20,640
mixture of all that stuff.
And one for me personally, when

225
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:25,080
I was a teenager was just like
the scroll and comparison game

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00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,960
for me.
Like, oh, this person graduated.

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00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,400
Oh, this person got this awesome
job, this person's on vacation,

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This person's doing this and
that.

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And here I am.
I'm I'm living this crap live

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for whatever.
I don't feel good about myself

231
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and everybody else is doing
great things.

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And I think it's starting to
become more apparent that more

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00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,200
people are understanding that
social media is just, you know,

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everybody's highlight reel,
which I, I feel like I've heard

235
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,720
1000 times.
But maybe if people aren't in

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00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,240
the, you know, listen to the
same spaces as I am, maybe they

237
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,920
haven't heard that.
But yeah, it's just everyone's

238
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,880
highlight reeled.
Nobody posts the crap things

239
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,800
that happens in their life.
So I got stuck in that trap.

240
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:08,200
I know there was a time in
college where when I woke up,

241
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,800
the first thing I did for 20
minutes before even getting out

242
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,240
of my bed was I was just scroll
through Facebook.

243
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:18,520
And it made me feel terrible.
And I remember at one point, I

244
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:22,240
don't remember what made me have
this idea to try this out, but I

245
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,800
deleted Facebook off my phone.
I was like, I'm just going to go

246
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,960
one week without Facebook and
see what happens.

247
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,680
And after that one week, like I
did feel way better.

248
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,600
I mean, just way better not
having to check and look what's

249
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going on and notifications and
all that stuff.

250
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,600
Now, I'm not saying you should
delete all your social media.

251
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:47,600
I, I think it's necessary.
I think you're, you're living at

252
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,640
a disadvantage if you don't have
those things.

253
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You have to learn how to use it
to kind of operate in our world.

254
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,160
And that's our main source of
like information, news and be

255
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,680
able to keep up with people,
which is all good things.

256
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:03,480
But you got to find ways to use
it properly and have balance.

257
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:09,000
And I think 1 little tip that I
always like to share, I don't

258
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,880
know how many people do this,
but I find it really helpful as

259
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:16,280
I turn off all notifications
from all my apps except for

260
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,800
except for messages.
So if you text me, I'll see it,

261
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:22,080
but otherwise I won't see it.
And like on my lock screen, I

262
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:26,400
make it to where it, it can
never show like app

263
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,600
notifications on that home
screen because I'll just check

264
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,280
the phone.
I'll check my phone to see what

265
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:32,840
time it is.
And then I'm like, oh, I got

266
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,960
something from this and now I'm
off on this other world.

267
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:39,200
And you know, it could create
anxiety in me or just get me off

268
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,960
task and I can go on and on
about social media.

269
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:46,600
Yeah, no, and I'll, I'll suck on
that because it was just earlier

270
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,800
this year I decided, all right,
I'm shutting off all

271
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:52,040
notifications and it's been
fantastic and that puts, you

272
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,360
know, we talked about
controlling what you can

273
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,440
control.
Well, now I control now I'll go

274
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,080
see what's happening on
Instagram.

275
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,440
Now I'll go see what's up on
Tiktok and I'm not I'm not

276
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,640
getting pulled in.
I'm, I'm missing the dopamine

277
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,680
hook to my phone telling me good
job someone like something or

278
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,080
here's a comment, you know, all
that nonsense because it, it

279
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,560
doesn't matter.
And especially with so many

280
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,640
young people seeming to want to
be, you know, influencers and,

281
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:17,280
and just live on social media,
like if you're focused on

282
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:20,360
creating content, great, but
just keep creating and putting

283
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,200
out there.
Don't, yeah, don't get hooked on

284
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,760
the response or reaction to
anybody or the numbers or

285
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,920
anything, but just if hopefully
you enjoy making content and if

286
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,320
you do, keep doing it.
But that's it.

287
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,800
I just look at yeah, I, I, I
they're all like output

288
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:37,920
platforms for me as opposed to,
you know, how am I doing in life

289
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,600
and what does everyone think?
Platforms.

290
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,440
Yeah, yeah, I think that's
important if if you're making

291
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,360
content, dude, because you like
doing it and thinking about the

292
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,320
numbers.
But yeah, I mean, that's why I

293
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,760
make content.
I actually enjoy doing it.

294
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,280
I enjoy making contact about,
you know, mental health and

295
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,640
social anxiety and all those
good things.

296
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:01,440
And then I started like YouTube
like a couple years ago, avoided

297
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:05,280
it forever 'cause I was like
long, long form videos.

298
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,640
That sounds scary.
But then when I got into it and

299
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,680
started doing it, I mean, yeah,
it's a lot of work.

300
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,760
And do I get a ton of views?
Absolutely not.

301
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:15,520
But I have like just grand ball
doing it every time.

302
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,920
So I'm like, I'm gonna keep
doing it because this is fun to

303
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,480
me.
So I'm just going to keep doing

304
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,280
it.
And hopefully, you know, it'll,

305
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,800
it'll take off eventually.
And of course, I think my videos

306
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,200
are great.
So you should check it out.

307
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:30,760
But you know, even if, you know,
I get 100 views on a video, I'm

308
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,400
not a scourge, but I'm just
going to keep doing it.

309
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,760
It's fun.
For and for me too, like there

310
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,480
are very few men looking for
real men feel that's what I

311
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,840
want.
You know, it's kind of I'm, I'm

312
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,440
it's, I'm poorly named if I
wanted to reach the masses.

313
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:49,360
But for the people that find it,
you know, I'm sure you have the

314
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,600
experience of getting the
message, getting an e-mail, get

315
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,440
hearing from someone person that
like, Oh my God, that last thing

316
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:58,240
you made it, it it, it literally
saved my life.

317
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:02,760
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, and I'm sure you'd

318
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,160
agree, those are those are the
best.

319
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,480
That makes everything worth it.
Like I.

320
00:17:06,839 --> 00:17:09,000
Was saying so yeah.
So I was I would ask you know,

321
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,000
is service important to you and
and why if it is?

322
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:17,040
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, kind of like what I was

323
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,880
saying.
I mean, the, the money that I,

324
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:23,480
that I, that I acquire from
speaking at schools and doing

325
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,760
all this thing, I mean, that's
cool.

326
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:28,400
But by far what's way better
than that is just hearing from

327
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,680
the students themselves.
You know, a month or two later

328
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,640
after I'd been there, I'm like,
hey, I've started doing some of

329
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,120
the things you said and things
have been getting a lot better.

330
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:39,560
I've been able to do, you know,
this, this and this.

331
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,320
So that, that's the coolest
stuff to me especially.

332
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:46,040
And that's why I focus on
teenagers because I, I struggled

333
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,520
severely when I was a teenager.
So the fact that I get to help

334
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,880
other people was something that
I was struggling with miserably

335
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,840
at their age.
And they're able to, you know,

336
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,240
do a lot better than I was as a
teenager.

337
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,480
And like, awesome.
Like, I'm glad I can use my

338
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,880
horrible time, my struggle as a
help to you.

339
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:10,560
Like I love that so much.
Do you have any advice for

340
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,720
parents on as what they can do
if they're concerned about

341
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:17,920
their, their, their young men,
their boys, you know, mental

342
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,960
health, their attitude, their,
their mood, anything for them?

343
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,800
Well, I think every parent wants
to know how their child is

344
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:30,240
feeling, right?
The you, you want to know that

345
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,520
although it's not possible to
pry out of them, like they have

346
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:37,200
to just kind of organically tell
you, you, you can't just RIP it

347
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:42,240
out of them.
So I my two pieces of advice I

348
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,080
always give to parents and I
like to just stick with two

349
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:49,560
because it makes it easy.
It's not a huge shift, but my,

350
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,040
my first piece is just to
listen.

351
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,320
Listen and shut up.
Quit talking.

352
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,840
Just listen to your kid.
What they're saying is listen

353
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,320
what to say.
Don't try to give advice, which

354
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,720
I know can be hard.
I got three kids myself.

355
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:05,600
They're all in.
I got one in middle school now,

356
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,960
but the other two are in
elementary.

357
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,880
I feel like I can solve all
their problems that they give me

358
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,000
when they come home from school
and I, I could, I could give it

359
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,320
to them, but it's not going to
help them and it's not what they

360
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,080
want.
If I were to do that, they, they

361
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,760
would turn off, they would stop
coming to me when it comes to

362
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,600
the, you know, the problems that
they're having or the things

363
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:28,320
that they're feeling.
So it's just all about listening

364
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:32,880
and then validating, validating
how do they feel how they feel

365
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:37,040
rather, which is really
important because like I said,

366
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,640
they just want somebody listen
to them.

367
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,480
They want to feel heard.
So if you can validate how they

368
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,560
feel, that can make them feel
heard.

369
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,280
And I'm and I'm we'll way back
up a second.

370
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:54,440
So how they feel is just how
they feel like there is no fact

371
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,880
or fiction feeling, right?
I mean, sometimes how they they

372
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,600
feel won't make sense or maybe
it's not even really true, but

373
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,600
it's just how they feel in the
moment.

374
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:09,080
You know, it's, it's just kind
of a well, I just want to say

375
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,040
it's just kind of how they feel.
I got to stop saying that.

376
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,280
But I mean, that's, that's
really what it is.

377
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,760
So it's not about trying to
change that form or make them

378
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:20,360
feel better.
It's about saying like, Hey, I,

379
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:25,200
I hear you feel such and such
that sounds hard, that, you

380
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,480
know, that sounds embarrassing,
tough, whatever it may be.

381
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,720
And that gives them a little bit
to just be like, OK, my, my

382
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:36,120
dad's hearing me out like I,
he's, he's understanding it a

383
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:40,360
little bit.
And then for my parents who do

384
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,320
want to help and give support in
some sort of way, 'cause I

385
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:47,360
always do is just follow that up
with like, hey, if there's

386
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,200
anything I can do to support
you, let me know.

387
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:52,240
Like, or you know, what is, is
there something I can do?

388
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:56,640
Like, how can I support you?
And sometimes, or a lot of times

389
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,120
rather, they'll be like, man,
there's nothing really I can do.

390
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,480
Which some people get
discouraged by that.

391
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,480
I, I find it as a good thing
because that just means you did

392
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,000
your job, you listened, you
validated their feelings, they

393
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:11,120
got what they needed from you.
So like, cool, more than likely

394
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:13,720
that's, that's what they need to
be able to make progress, take

395
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,440
action, whatever it is that
they're going through at the

396
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,480
moment.
And then sometimes they'll tell,

397
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,520
you know, yeah, if you could
help me with this, this and

398
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,480
this, you know, that'd be really
helpful and cool, you have

399
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,560
something to do.
You, you know, you're on the

400
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,640
right path.
They asked you for that or they

401
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,800
asked you for your advice.
So you can go about doing that

402
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:34,080
thing that you love to do.
So yeah, it's just all about

403
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,400
listening and validating their
feelings.

404
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:40,000
You can do those two things.
I think that's those two things

405
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:44,720
alone are just probably the best
ways to support, you know, male

406
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,160
or female child with, with their
mental health, mental strength,

407
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,880
anxiety, depression, whatever it
may be.

408
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,320
And you've mentioned a couple
times how much you struggle as a

409
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,880
teen.
What was, was it everything was

410
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:57,760
there?
Was it primarily depression or

411
00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:58,680
anxiety?
Like what?

412
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:03,920
What was your experience?
Social anxiety, What was the big

413
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:08,040
one, which kind of turned in
into depression after a while?

414
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:12,120
Those were my big ones in high
school.

415
00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:15,600
Yeah.
Social because, well, what

416
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,120
happened was I was, you know, I
was going to this really small

417
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:21,680
school and I had, I had social
anxiety back then too.

418
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:25,080
And I, I mean, I didn't know
that at the time, but I felt

419
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,240
somewhat comfortable because,
you know, I had a small group of

420
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,200
friends and then my sophomore
year of high school, I

421
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:34,720
transferred to this huge public
school, which was just like a

422
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,280
huge shock for me.
And then you, you know, kind of

423
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:40,640
pile social anxiety on top of
that, not knowing anybody, not

424
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:44,000
having any friends, and then
just kind of going day after day

425
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:48,200
after day of just like feeling
terrible, feeling fearful,

426
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,360
socially anxious, like literally
all day long.

427
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:55,680
And that started to, to like
turn into some depression and I

428
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,000
lost appetite.
I'm pretty sure I lost like 20

429
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,240
lbs my sophomore year.
And I definitely didn't have 20

430
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:05,400
lbs to lose.
So yeah, that I did not have a,

431
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,640
a fun time in high school.
But I'll say that is the time I

432
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:12,280
am the most grateful for just
because if I didn't go through

433
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,360
all that crap, if I didn't make
that transition through schools,

434
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:18,920
who knows where I'd be now.
But I needed that in order to be

435
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:22,960
able to make that step up, you
know, and start taking action,

436
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:26,760
making progress to trying to
become the best self that I can

437
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,440
be.
And like I said, if I didn't

438
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,360
make that transition, I'm not
sure that that I would have got

439
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,960
there or at least would have
taken me a lot longer.

440
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:38,000
I know you've got a pretty big
mission that you've I believe

441
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,040
you've self chosen it, but tell
me what that is.

442
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:44,760
Yeah, so my mission's to help
1,000,000 teens go from socially

443
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:49,120
anxious to socially confident.
You know, all because I

444
00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:51,200
struggled with social anxiety
when I was a teen.

445
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,720
So I want to be able to help
other teens, you know, become

446
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,480
more confident.
And some people hear that and

447
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,880
it's like, well, you know, not
everybody struggles with social

448
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:04,480
anxiety, Maybe not like I did,
but everybody has a, a social

449
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,200
anxiety part in them.
Maybe it's not active, doesn't

450
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:11,000
come out very often, but every,
everybody has that part inside

451
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,720
them.
So just learning, even for those

452
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,960
folks who you know, it's not a
very active part, learning how

453
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,040
to manage that when it does come
about.

454
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,760
And then using some of the
strategies that I talk about to

455
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:26,800
just boost confidence.
I mean, social anxious or not, I

456
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,800
mean the stuff that I talk about
is super helpful.

457
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:35,320
Let me get back to the dude
project and making mental health

458
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,760
connect more with with younger
men, younger boys.

459
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,320
What's the mechanism behind
that?

460
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,920
Is it, is it just primarily you
speaking in schools?

461
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,120
Do you have a curriculum?
Are you working with parents and

462
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:48,840
teachers?
How's that playing out?

463
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:53,280
So it's a new program that's
being launched this year.

464
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:57,680
I actually haven't given an
official dude project until

465
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,440
October 4th.
This is my first one, so looking

466
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,280
forward to that.
And I got to get several after

467
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,680
that.
But I'm talking with or I'm

468
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,600
talking, I've talked with, you
know, just male students

469
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:13,240
primarily several times before.
So I'd have schools that would

470
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,760
say, you know what, I'd like you
to come speak, but just just

471
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,360
speak to the males.
So those were always really fun

472
00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:22,680
to me.
And what was a part of like,

473
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,800
leading me to get to this?
And now that I'm writing a

474
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,120
little bit, I kind of forget the
original question.

475
00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:32,280
Andy, what was that again?
The the the basic mechanism of

476
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,320
the dude project or like what,
what are what are your actions?

477
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,880
What do you control?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

478
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:42,120
So, yeah.
Well, of course, you know, it's,

479
00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:46,720
it's me speaking with them, but
it's this program in particular

480
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:52,240
is a lot less me speaking and a
lot more of us doing and like

481
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:56,280
really putting things into
practice and you know, in the

482
00:25:56,280 --> 00:26:00,920
now, in the present and not
giving you the strategies and

483
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:04,080
waiting for you to do it when
you get back home and try to

484
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:08,040
make it in sort of a competitive
way when I can.

485
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,400
It depends on the different
stuff, but just getting them

486
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:15,640
really involved, whether that's
the, the students coming up on

487
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:20,040
stage and, and doing stuff or
just excuse me, you're getting

488
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,560
the students and the, you know,
just sitting in the bleachers or

489
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,600
wherever, you know,
participating and actually, you

490
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,640
know, putting pen to paper and
working on the stuff right now

491
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:34,000
and getting together with the
other, you know, boys that

492
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:38,920
they're around, which is a, a
big thing that I, I really focus

493
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,520
on.
It's just getting these guys to

494
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:46,480
understand, like I feel, I feel
so I feel sad sometimes.

495
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,480
You feel sad sometimes.
Why am I acting like I never

496
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,480
feel that way?
Does everybody understand that

497
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:56,160
we all have these feelings and
yet we're all trying to act like

498
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,920
we don't ever feel that way in
front of other people who also

499
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:02,640
feel that way?
Do you realize how stupid that

500
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,200
is?
Like it's such a waste of time.

501
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:09,680
What if we all just kind of got
together, created little tribes

502
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,360
where we could lean on each
other, support each other and

503
00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:15,560
help each other out?
It would make life so much

504
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,720
easier for us.
So let's start doing that.

505
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,520
Let's get over this crap of, you
know, you know, I don't want

506
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,360
anybody to know that's that's a
sign of weakness.

507
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,720
Let's get past that.
Let's start working together,

508
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:32,280
helping each other out, not just
so you yourself can feel better,

509
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,720
but so you can help other people
feel better, which will in turn

510
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,400
make you feel better 'cause it
feels great to help other people

511
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,200
out.
So what?

512
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,960
What's your vision for the Dude
Project?

513
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,640
Or like ideally, where would it
be in five years, let's say?

514
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:54,600
Where would it be in five years?
I, I'd say my vision for it is,

515
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,800
well, I mean, obviously to get
in more schools, but I'd love to

516
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,440
see it.
I don't know exactly how you

517
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:06,520
classify it, but as some sort of
like, so have you heard of like

518
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:10,000
the blue ribbon program for
schools and stuff like that?

519
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,280
So if they had something like
that, but for like the dude

520
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:18,000
project, that was kind of on a,
on a national level where we

521
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:23,120
start making this almost like a,
a part of the curriculum in

522
00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:25,880
schools.
Well, obviously I couldn't be at

523
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,680
every school, but starting to
implement some of the things

524
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,840
that I talk about in the schools
'cause like I said, we don't,

525
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:36,840
the way we traditionally talk
about mental health is just not

526
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:40,680
resonating with teen boys.
It's just not they turn off,

527
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,600
it's boring to them.
It's not interesting.

528
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:50,400
So just getting schools on
board, I, I guess in, in some

529
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,760
way, kind of the, the government
on board, that would be really

530
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,920
cool to have them kind of
promote the not just the do

531
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:02,440
project, but I'm talking about
the specific, you know, kind of

532
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:06,480
curriculum and outline of how we
go about not just teaching

533
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,440
mental health, but how we go
about presenting that to the

534
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,200
boys.
So they're not, they're not

535
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,080
getting screwed in their adult
life.

536
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,360
Because I, I think as of right
now, according to Mental Health

537
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,880
America, I think 9 million men
are diagnosed with the mental

538
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:25,440
health condition and 25% of them
are coping with it with

539
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,720
substance abuse.
Like that's crazy.

540
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:31,440
Like that is not good at all.
We keep it that base we're going

541
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,600
to be in some serious trouble.
So we really need to start

542
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:39,560
focusing on these boys.
So I am a survivor of multiple

543
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:43,320
suicide attempts.
I I my high school years were

544
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:45,720
miserable.
My suicidal ideations started

545
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,800
think in the 7th grade, probably
even earlier.

546
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,760
Yeah, actually I remember
thinking about in fifth grade.

547
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,600
So yeah, younger and young.
The more I think about it, the

548
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:57,640
younger I can identify it.
And if your experience, if you

549
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,240
struggle as much as you're
sharing, I'm I'm sure it is at

550
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,480
least crossed your mind at the
worst times.

551
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,280
Do you have do you have any
insight or or advice for you

552
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,480
know what can anyone do to help
prevent suicides?

553
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:16,080
Well, so I'll, I'll first start
by saying didn't struggle a

554
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,920
whole lot with any sort of like
suicidal ideation.

555
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:24,120
And I think the only reason for
that is just because I grew up

556
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,360
in a religious family and I'm
religious myself.

557
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:34,280
So I've always believed that if
you die by suicide, that means

558
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:36,240
you're going straight to hell.
So that's, you know, it's a

559
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,200
pretty good incentive for like
me mentally as a teenager, like,

560
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:44,760
OK, I don't want to do that.
But I think outside of that of

561
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:49,200
of religion is just being more
proactive with your mental

562
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:53,880
health.
We focus on our mental health a

563
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:58,560
lot when it comes in times of
know, when we're struggling,

564
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,680
we're really anxious, we're
feeling really depressed, then

565
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,680
we want to start, OK, maybe I
need to start doing, you know,

566
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:08,720
meditating or exercising or
whatever it may be or going to

567
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,960
see therapy.
But there's things that you can

568
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:16,840
do on a day-to-day basis that is
good for your mind and that you

569
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:21,040
should stay proactive with your
mental health and start doing

570
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:24,160
these things before you know,
kind of quote UN quote shit hits

571
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,680
the fan.
That way, when you do come

572
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:29,840
across challenges in your life,
'cause you're going to, you'll

573
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:33,120
be able, you'll be more apt to
be able to handle those types of

574
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,600
things.
And when you do start to feel

575
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:42,440
anxious, it'll be at a, a, a
less intense anxiety.

576
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:46,680
So I, I'd like to talk about how
we need to be more proactive

577
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:50,160
with our mental health because,
you know, so we can experience

578
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,520
less anxiety, you know, less
depression, those types of

579
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,880
things can't eliminate those
things.

580
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:59,440
But if you can really, you can
start to really limit the

581
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:03,160
intensity of it if you really
are taking care of your mind and

582
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,360
your mental health.
So I think those are like the

583
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:09,240
the biggest things when it comes
to suicide.

584
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,840
Kyle and all of your speaking
and writing and content

585
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:18,000
creation, does anything stand
out as as something you wish

586
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,760
more men knew?
That's a good question.

587
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:27,120
Yeah.
I think 11 particular example

588
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:31,400
comes to mind.
I think if I wish more men knew

589
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:37,520
that holding that in that
trauma, that sadness, whatever

590
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:43,440
it may be is is not helping you.
And I wish men who are doing

591
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:48,960
that could experience the
freeing release that you will

592
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:53,000
get by sharing that with
somebody, whether that's with

593
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,680
your therapist, your spouse,
friend, you know, support group

594
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,840
that that does wonders.
At the very beginning or when

595
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:06,800
COVID like very first started,
my, my mother-in-law passed

596
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:11,520
away, which was my wife's like
best friend was her mom.

597
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,160
Like they did everything
together.

598
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:17,160
And she passed away not from
COVID, but from kind of a long

599
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:20,320
standing illness.
But that was super tough for

600
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:23,680
her.
And it was super tough for me,

601
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,600
not because I was particularly
really close with her mom, but

602
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:31,440
because I did not know how to
help my wife at all.

603
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,680
And I was struggling so bad with
it.

604
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:37,960
And I felt like she was in this
bad state for a long time.

605
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:42,280
And I spent so much time trying
to figure out what I could do to

606
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:45,360
help her.
And there was like nothing that

607
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,920
I could do.
And I remember just feeling

608
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:51,400
like, oh, it's making me tear up
a little bit, but it made me, it

609
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:57,360
made me feel really hopeless.
And my friend Jeremy Green goes

610
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:01,640
by Jeremy talks to strangers on
the on the socials, but he

611
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:05,080
brought me to this men's support
group.

612
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:10,440
I wish I remember the name of
it, but that that was so

613
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:14,639
powerful for me to be able to
just share what I was feeling

614
00:34:14,639 --> 00:34:17,520
with all those guys in like a
safe space.

615
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:21,000
And I, I, I broke down and cried
'cause I was holding that in for

616
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,199
so long and it just like gushed
out like a waterfall for me.

617
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:28,760
But they were all so cool about
it, like understanding and

618
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:34,480
helpful and like that was so
like that felt so good for me.

619
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,199
And it's funny, like I didn't
get any solutions from that, but

620
00:34:38,199 --> 00:34:43,159
just allowing myself to really
release and like share that and

621
00:34:43,159 --> 00:34:45,679
then just have other people like
support you with that.

622
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:50,960
Like that did that.
That made it bearable for me to

623
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:55,080
be able to, like, get through
the whole depression process for

624
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,560
her.
And yeah, that was so helpful.

625
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,680
I mean, just thinking about
right now, like, I got a tear

626
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,360
coming down my cheek.
But yeah, like, really.

627
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,520
Like, that was such a big
moment.

628
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:09,520
So I yeah, I wish that more men
understand how helpful it is to

629
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,520
like, be able to get that out in
some way.

630
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,560
Kyle, what are you most proud
of?

631
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:22,040
Well I feel obligated to save my
kids.

632
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,560
That made it sound terrible for
me saying it that way.

633
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:35,440
But I mean, I, I, I, I feel
proud of my kids and the way,

634
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:40,160
gosh, I, I feel cocky when I say
stuff like this.

635
00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:44,840
Just bear with me, but I, I, I
feel proud of the way that I've

636
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:49,560
been able to raise my kids and
how they understand mental

637
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:55,920
health on a super normal level.
Like there is no stigma with

638
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,120
them at all.
And they're just little.

639
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:02,720
I mean, my oldest is only 10
right now, but that's, that's

640
00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:08,960
probably my, my proudest thing
is being able to at this point,

641
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:11,720
like raise them with like no
stigma around mental health.

642
00:36:11,720 --> 00:36:14,760
The stuff's normal to them.
Stuff that we talk about and

643
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,040
kind of like one of the biggest
themes and kind of like the

644
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,400
culture our, of our family is
like, oh, it's probably like two

645
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:24,560
things. 1 is going outside your
comfort zone, you know, left

646
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:27,280
fear dictate what we do.
And the other thing is just like

647
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,560
living with an attitude of
gratitude.

648
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:35,080
So I'd say those are probably
that's, that's yeah, that's

649
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:37,200
definitely my my most proud
thing and.

650
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,880
Finally, Kyle, what's the best
way for people to find out more

651
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,360
about Everything You're Up To
and the Dude Project?

652
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:47,200
Yeah.
So you can go to my website,

653
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:52,400
socialanxietykyle.com.
I'm also pretty much all the

654
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,680
socials, just social anxiety,
Kyle.

655
00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:58,240
But yeah, check me out there.
Shoot me a message if you have a

656
00:36:58,240 --> 00:37:01,320
question.
I love helping out any way I can

657
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:02,600
so.
Awesome.

658
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,280
Yeah.
It was great to connect with

659
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,920
you, Kyle, and learn everything
that you're up to.

660
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:13,360
And yeah, you're feeling an
invaluable niche that's being

661
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,800
ignored that, you know, that I,
I, I keep seeing stats.

662
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:20,880
It's like, you know, for for
ages, you know, 10 to 14, you

663
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:23,400
know how high the suicide rate
is and you know, just just

664
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,600
children are dying
unnecessarily.

665
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,480
So I'm glad you're out there
doing your part, trying to

666
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:33,160
change the schools, trying to
change the attitudes, the

667
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:38,040
stigma, getting rid of it all.
So kudos to you and everyone.

668
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,000
Thanks for listening, joining in
and visit real men field org.

669
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,240
They have a blog post on this
episode, plenty of links.

670
00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:45,680
And please look, check out the
dude project.

671
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:46,880
Look for ways that you can
support it.

672
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:50,000
Look for ways that you can, you
know, get something in in your

673
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,400
community, be willing to be the
dude that goes and tells people

674
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,920
it's OK to feel, you know,
whatever it is that you can do,

675
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,880
you know, and as mentioned
earlier, do more of what you can

676
00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:02,600
control.
And there's so much more that we

677
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,160
all can control that we kind of
ignore and hope someone else

678
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,640
will take care of.
But, you know, it's the time to

679
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:11,040
step up now.
So wherever you're discovering

680
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,320
real men feel, please subscribe,
follow, like, share this with

681
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,760
somebody, post a comment, make a
review, whatever you can do.

682
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,960
You can always reach out to me
at realmenfeel@gmail.com.

683
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,520
And until next time, be good to
yourself.