The Evolution from Prince to King with Justin Nault

0:00 Hello and welcome to Real Men Feel. I'm your host, author, coach and healer, Andy Grant. You can visit theandygrant.com to learn more about me. Real Men Feel reminds men that they're human beings and they have the right to experience and express all of their emotions. We have conversations that most men are not having, but that all men can benefit from. My guest today is Justin Nalt. Justin Nalt is the visionary founder of Personal Evolution Coaching in Clovis, a transformative health movement dedicated to empowering individuals to heal the metabolisms and achieve sustainable Wellness through holistic nutrition and lifestyle practices. Justin is also the creator of King Versus Prince, a revolutionary program designed to help men evolve from reactive, ego driven behaviors into a mature, grounded state known as King Energy. We discussed the problems of men living as adolescents, the damage of emotional suppression, powerful tools to improve your life like mirror work, somatic therapy, and radical honesty. Justin also shares his how to stop hiding exercise one thing he wishes more menu and the purpose of life. Let's do it.

1:11 Welcome to room and Field, Justin. Thank you so much for having me man, I'm excited to be here. You do a lot of things. So I know you're an entrepreneur, an influencer, a coach, a certified nutrition therapist. They are a sports and fitness enthusiast and nutrition specialist with fitness and nutrition and sports and all these things. But you have a program you call King versus Prince that really got my attention. And you know, I first of all, it sounds being a Prince. That sounds pretty cool. Like so but but so tell me the difference of what it means to you to be a Prince versus being a king. Yeah, it's really just a matter of on a, on a spiritual level and a personal development level. Are you living as an adolescent or are you living as a mature adult? So what ends up happening in my work is, you know, it it's it's not dependent on age, right?

2:02 I meet Princess who are 55 years old and I meet kings who are 25 years old. It's really just a matter of, of the direction their life has gone, their own unique experiences, how they were raised, the masculine, feminine dynamics that existed within their household, whether they had a father figure who was a king or a Prince, you know, and I mean, I say unfortunately, but you know, everything is perfect and the universe is existing exactly as it should. But right now we have a plethora of full grown men that are that are Princess. And honestly, it's really by no fault of their own. It's just the lack of example that has been set. OK, so the developing to a Prince or is every young boy a Prince automatically or is there some progression to reach Prince energy to begin with?

2:44 And but then we're we're men keep going. Yeah, for sure. And I mean, it's, it's tricky because, you know, I like most people, I came up in the public education system like I went to preschool and then I went to kindergarten and straight through public school and then I went to ended up going to college and, and doing the whole college thing and all that. And there's just so much programming that is authority based, right? A lot of this is, is based on the perception of authority. So what ends up happening is our whole lives we're raised by a quote UN quote authority. When you're first born, it's your parents. And then it may be the preschool teacher or a babysitter or your aunts and uncles or grandma, grandpa, whoever. And we really live in a society where we hear these terms like big boys don't cry, stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about.

3:29 Or even girls now it's like, well, you're a big girl and you can do whatever the boys do and big girls don't cry. And all this this messaging that our emotional experience is unacceptable and needs to be suppressed. The fastest way to create a Prince is to teach them that some of their emotions are bad and some of their emotions are good because the distinct feature. The difference between a king and a Prince, especially in romantic relationship as an adult, is your capacity to accept your partner's emotional experience without labeling it good, bad, right, wrong, or needing to fix it right the the very cliche thing men try to fix their women's problems when the woman just wants to be heard. We were all raised as children and the authority figures in our lives taught us that some emotions are good and some emotions are bad, which leads to Jungian depth psychology of the things that get you more love end up in your ego, the things that get you less love end up in your shadow. So emotions end up this really shadowy thing, and what you end up with is very fragile men who are very uncomfortable with emotional experiences.

4:27 And that's really the distinguishing factor to me between a king and a Prince. Can a king stand in his own emotional experience and understand that another person's emotional experience has nothing to do with him? Even if they're mad at him, it has nothing to do with them. It's their own emotional experience. Can I hold my partner, my fiance, right? Can I hold her in her emotional experience without thinking that it says something about me, or it has to do with my ego or I've done something wrong or I'm bad? It's a fragility of an adolescent way of being in your own mind. There's a an adult man living in the Prince energy imagine it must take some level of awareness. I, I, I am, you know, are some Princess.

5:08 Just this is life and I'm fine with it and I'm not looking to change. Whereas others are kind of aware of their own struggle. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, for me, right, I was, I was a professional musician for 15 years and I did 300 shows a year. I had a network reality TV show by the time I was 25 years old. I mean, I was literally a guy getting panties thrown at him on stage, you know, in my early 20s. And as a result of that, it's, it's almost like the way like porn impacts men now as it's like if things like that are too easy and don't require any amount of like pursuit or understanding the complexities of, of the feminine or anything. When things come too easily, you end up in this sort of fragile place. So for me, I thought I was very masculine. I'm the rock star, I'm Mr.

5:51 Rock'n'roll, girls want me. Everything's amazing. And I was also like I grew up. I come from a very violent place. There's a lot of like tough kindness in my experience, which is why I got into martial arts and jiu jitsu and all these things. But it was that too. It was like, I'm a tough guy, I'm a rock star up on stage. I get all the ladies. I must be masculine or like men love to say and a man in that position like you're a living the dream, you know. But I actually was was deeply unfulfilled in that. And I ended up, you know, quite, quite sad and the position quite burnt out, emptiness in relationships. And I was drinking six nights a week. You know, the last 10 years of my music career, I was like drinking six nights a week. And it's. So to answer your question, I don't think that I was consciously aware that I was living in Prince energy.

6:32 But when I really took a step back and looked at the way my life was going, I didn't like what I saw. And I kind of saw the writing on the wall that this wasn't going to go good. So I think that the people that are living in their Prince energy and are unaware of it tend to sort of settle into a status quo sort of mediocrity. And I don't mean that in terms of monetary success, right? Because I, I, I work almost exclusively, a lot of the men's work I do is, is with entrepreneurs. I mean, I've met guys that have 10s of millions of dollars liquid sitting in the bank and they are deeply dissatisfied and deeply living in their Prince energy. But they were crushing it, right? So they're getting what I call social cookies from society. Everyone's telling them how great they are, so the internal experience is kind of hard to suss out because, again, we've been taught to suppress our emotional experience.

7:18 So I was living in Prince Energy, successful on paper, successful in the music industry, and I'd done talk therapy and stuff. It wasn't until I actually found a somatic coach that helped me do somatic work with my body and they started accessing my emotions and realizing the depth of disconnection I was feeling with the feminine, the depth of unhappiness I was feeling. I didn't feel a lot of purpose or or passion in what I was doing for a career in these things. I think you can become aware of it, but I definitely think most men who are in their Prince energy are unaware of it until life events force them to be aware of it. You know, sometimes we get guys that have been married and divorced three times and every relationship ended the same way and still in their mind they have a story. Just like all women are the same. It's the woman's problem and they never come to that realization.

8:05 So I guess it depends on the life events whether you're going to have a spotlight shown on it or not. So I'm glad at least at some point of some period of time while you were living the dream, you did enjoy it. For sure, the first few years of my 20s, I'm living in Nashville, TN and one of the most popular bars. And then when I got the reality TV show I was on, ABCI, was 25 years old. I was getting flown out to Vegas and LA and stuff and I'm like, what is happening? It was crazy. But I mean, yeah, it it was it was it was an amazing experience. Yeah, I'm very grateful for it. Cool. So, so then what happened in your life to make you step back and say, you know, I need to develop my own masculinity or whatever you called it at that at that point, knowing something needed to change? Yeah, a few things. I mean, 1, I had three relationships.

8:47 I I used the term 3 married and divorced three times. For me, it was just committed romantic relationships. It felt like I was dating the clone of the same person. They all ended right at the 2 1/2 year mark. It was like two year mark, things start getting rocky and then we do this on again, off again, toxic thing for six months. And I'm like, wait a minute, I've done this three Times Now with three different people, you know, and I, I can't remember where I heard this, which is one of my favorite little stories of all time is like it, If you leave your house in the morning and you come home at night, and that day you met one asshole, you probably just met an asshole. But if you go out every day and every single person you meet is an asshole, you're the asshole, You know, So at some point I had to look at this. The common denominator here appears to be me.

9:29 And I can't just keep telling the story that all women are the same. So that happened. I was getting pretty burnt out with the music industry. This is about 3-4 years after I'd done reality TV, which was kind of a hellish experience, honestly. And then I was always into very, very into fitness. Not so much into nutrition, but I was a boxer. I did every every form of CrossFit, jujitsu, every form of fitness you can imagine. But I didn't know much about nutrition and that this is kind of a sidebar here, but my niece was born terminally disabled. She was having over 300 seizures a day and she got put on a ketogenic diet. She was put in the pediatric ICU. They they installed AG tube in her stomach and feed her through AG tube. That was how I learned about the ketogenic diet and sort of one horrors of mainstream medical system and to the power of nutrition.

10:14 Like, wait, you put kids on a keto diet and you can stop their seizures. There's way more to nutrition than six pack abs, clearly. What is this? And that was when I went into the depth of study. I started studying biochemistry, biology, human metabolism as much as I could to learn about these things. And through that, it forced me to look at my music career and I'm like, I'm drunk six nights a week and I'm helping other people get hammered drunk and forget about life for a while, as they say in the piano man song, right? And I'm like, I'm part of this kind of toxic thing. And I'm going to bed at 6:00 in the morning. I'm on stage till 3:00 AM. Like, what is this thing? I'm feeling quite unfulfilled. And at this point I was single and my my momentum relationships have failed.

10:55 So I just started like really looking around and, and what what's happening here. And I was talking to a talk therapist at the time, but I felt like talk therapy was just like, OK, yeah, we talked about my mom and my dad, my childhood thing. I have a lot of awareness. What's the action in the opposite direction? How can I embody this action? And I, I'm certainly not saying this is right for everyone or everyone should do this or anyone should take my journey. But I, I ended up researching for about a year and a half before I did this. But I went down to Peru and I had my first psychedelic experience, which was 4 ayahuasca ceremonies in the jungle over 8 days. And that was transformative for me. And I came back and I was kind of able to see my own BS in the mirror of like, oh, turns out it's always been me. And I just started rethinking how do I want my life to look? I, how do I want my health to be, you know, do I want to be going to bed at 6:00 AM twenty years from now? Am I going to stay in this music industry? And I also was very fortunate at that time to end up spending some time with some of the biggest 90s bands to ever exist at Tonic, Goo Goo Dolls, Collective Soul, Third Eye Blind and meeting all these guys and the stories of them, You know, at this point, they're now like all in their mid 50s and I got to learn their stories of failed marriages and alcohol abuse and they're still on the road all the time and all this stuff. And I, it just, everything came together as like the universe handed me this gift of like, hey, man, here's the writing on the wall.

12:17 This is what it's like. I got to look in a crystal ball. Yeah, like, some of these guys were #1 songs for two years on the radio, selling out stadiums, making 10s of millions of dollars. And I'm seeing them, like, at a County Fair playing for 200 people and, like, living in a tour bus. And I was like, oh, OK. And so just everything came together all at once. And I, I heavily started focusing not just on nutrition and fitness, but real health and happiness. How do I achieve that? That's amazing. So well, first I want to ask, how was your niece? Now how, how, how was her story turn out? Yeah, it's a very, it's, it's the most common question I get. 1 I actually ended up making a baby formula for her because I found out the one they were giving her in the hospital was toxic. It was full of seed oils and artificial ingredients and stuff.

13:02 So I made a baby formula for her in my kitchen out of Paleo super foods. And then I ended up adding much collagen protein to it and selling it to cross fitters. And that's how I got into e-commerce and started selling physical products. But Savannah's life expectancy was less than three years. She's deemed terminally disabled. We eventually found out it was something called KCNQ 2. She was one of 96 living cases in the world at the time, and only one had ever lived into adulthood. So Savannah is now 10, which is like, astonishing. I mean, she's more than tripled her life expectancy. Unfortunately, they have a nurse that lives in their home 50 hours a week and takes care of her. She's in a wheelchair. There's no brain function. She doesn't really know her name or anything. Her eyes kind of dart around.

13:46 She's still fed through AG tube. So she's here, she's she's existing, you know, But it's a pretty, pretty tough experience to witness. Yeah, I, I, I, I can't imagine seeing a loved one go to go through something like that. The, the for Savannah or her parents and the entire family. So, so a good few for, you know, turning a, a, a tragedy into a blessing for your personal path and then how much you've impacted other people too. Yeah, thank you. I, I love to say there is a silver lining in it. It's like, I mean, I, I hate that she's gone through this, but she is directly responsible for, I mean, millions of people learning about their metabolisms. Yeah, Yeah. Great. So, I mean, she's a, she's a teacher.

14:28 Yeah. Absolutely, Absolutely. So to get back to the Prince versus king, besides the emotional stuffing that that most men are taught, is there another common issue or something that used to be healed between the the most Mormon, the most men you see between between Prince and king? For sure, the the the biggest thing, the the core principle of everything that I teach, that is the most important thing, even beyond the emotional intelligence, is living a philosophy of radical honesty in every moment. And what I mean by that is the best visual I can give somebody for encompassing Prince energy is there's there's a mom and a mom is in the kitchen and she just baked a lovely chocolate cake and it's sitting on the island and the telephone rings and she's got to take a call.

15:18 She's going to go upstairs for some reason. And she says to little Johnny or he's five years old little boy. She says, I got to go upstairs. Don't touch the cake comes back down 20 minutes later. The kids face is full of cake. There's cake all over his hands. There's chocolate on the walls. The cake is gone. And mom looks at the sun and says, did you eat the chocolate cake? And he looks her dead in the eyes and says, no, that's Prince energy. It's a fear of loss of love. It is a suppressing of the emotional experience, but it is also intentional hiding of self. So one of the very first things I do with men that work with me is a an exercise called How to Stop Hiding. And we actually map this out over about two weeks. And I try to just put it in their awareness and we're writing down and there's all these prompts that walk them through it and give them very detailed step by step. Here's how to get your brain thinking in this direction. But we're looking for every nook and cranny in your life where you're either outright lying or withholding, which is simply not telling the whole truth because you're afraid to hurt someone else's feelings or you're afraid somebody won't accept you or whatever.

16:23 And we don't realize how programmed this is in us in society. You know, like if I, if my dog just died and I'm having a terrible day and I go to Starbucks and the barista's like, hey, how you doing? Almost guaranteed I'm going to be like, great, how are you? You know, we don't understand. And it seems so silly and people are like, oh, come on, dude. Like I'm not going to be honest with the barista or whatever. I'm like, but imagining what your life would be like if you were capable of saying like, you know what, man? I'm, I'm having a really, I'm having a really tough one, having a tough day. Thank you for asking. I appreciate it. I really hope you're doing well. I'd like to just place my order like there's something to that. And for anyone listening to this, like when I say that and I act that out for you, I get goosebumps because our whole lives we are taught to do the exact opposite. And then you get into dating and Tinder and social media, just always putting your best face forward, right? You got to look the best.

17:13 You got to sound the best. Every ROM com you ever watch on TV is only funny and only exists because of the dishonesty riddled throughout the entire script of people just lying and hiding from one another and causing all these problems. So when you graduate in the king energy, just fair warning it's way less fun to watch TV and movies. You're like this is stupid why don't they just tell each other the truth? This whole movie would be over in 5 minutes you know? But that's the biggest thing is, is dishonesty is a happiness killer. Is king versus Prince? Is this online? Is it a group? Is it one-on-one? Is it in person? How how how did? How are the logistics of this program? Yeah, King versus Prince actually started as an online course that still exists, which was helping men raise their testosterone levels naturally with no substances.

17:59 And it was a way for me to kind of Trojan horse them of like, you're living in this misaligned way that is really problematic. And once we get you to a place of more self love and self acceptance, then you'll make better decisions to make your health and Wellness better. That still exists as a product, as a as an offering online course. King versus Prince right now is directly one-on-one with me. And is it in person or virtual or both? Both if I have clients that are here in Austin, which is great, and I have specific locations that we meet up at at Austin and then anyone who wants to do coaching remotely, we just do it over Zoom. For any man that you know, maybe isn't really to jump into a one-on-one coaching relationship with somebody, but they they're they're noticing that lack of meaning, fulfillment purpose in their life.

18:41 Do you have any things that they could they could try to you know what, what's 1 simple step that that a man could take to try to start improving his life? Yeah, I mean, one, go ahead and even without the prompts, you can just, or I'm happy to share a link with you if you want me to. But I would just try the how to stop hiding exercise, which is just taking stock of every place in your life in which you are hiding or lying or withholding and go through the most significant relationships in your family. If you're really close with your dad, try to pick apart the places where you're not telling the whole truth to your dad. If you're really close with your brother, your Co worker, your boss, your romantic partner, whoever it is, the people that you really see the most and you care about the relationship more than anything, those are the best places to start because it's usually where you'll find the most safety, where these are people you can actually go back to and say, hey, listen, six months ago I told you this thing and it and it wasn't true and I'm sorry and I was really scared and here's where I was coming from. And I hope you can forgive me kind of choosing the the safest places for you to start to practice radical honesty. I think that's extremely beneficial for anybody. And then in terms of easy to access resources, especially if you're in relationship or have been in a romantic relationship. And I'm, I'm assuming heterosexual men right now, but also masculine, feminine dynamics play out regardless of gender in every single romantic relationship. So there's a book by GS Youngblood called The Masculine in Relationship, and I would probably start there. GS is a really great guy.

20:05 I've worked with him directly. I know him very well. I know his teachings very well. And. He's been on the show, so I'll link. I'll link to that show for those for people. Yeah, yeah, that's a great place to start. Great. IA lot of men that that have never even heard the term masculine, feminine dynamics. They're they'll read that book. Oh, man, this feels like he's talking about me and my partner. It's just it's so common. Yeah. Cool. And you, you mentioned self love already too. And I know my own journey when you love myself was probably the the biggest single impactful thing I can point to. But is any tips for how how a man that perhaps even that term just puts him off? Like how? How can a man start to to nurture any self love?

20:46 Yeah, What's interesting with men is it sometimes it's easier for us to love other than it is to love self. But then as you get deeper into love with other, you start to realize the amount that if you don't have a lot of self love, you'll start to pick other people apart. Especially in the dating world. It's like, is she quite pretty enough? Is she quite smart enough? She hasn't travelled as much as I have. Are we going to have anything in common? You know what I mean? Like that kind of thing, the nitpicking. So with there's another exercise that I get people called Daily Mirror work and I can teach you Daily Mirror work right here. And for men, it probably sounds a little cheese ball and it probably makes you feel really uncomfortable. But trust me, try this even for 10 days every single day and you'll see what happens. It's, and I actually I recommend men do it in the least amount of clothing possible. So get out of the shower or whatever 'cause we, we can do somebody love here as well.

21:33 If you're struggling with the way you look and you just get in the mirror and it's looking yourself in the eyes and saying I love you 10 times and meaning it. Breathe deeply as much as you need to. I love you 10 times and then I move into I'm proud of you for and we do five. I'm proud of you for statements. A different thing every time. I'm proud of you for doing mirror work today. I'm proud of you for the way you handled that conflict with your partner last night. I'm proud of you. I try not to make it achievement based. I'm proud of you for being a millionaire, right? Because then we're dealing with other esteem and external validation, you know, just finding ways to be proud of yourself. And then five statements. I forgive you for five things you're ready to forgive yourself for and let go of and then five statements I commit to you. That and the commitment statements are really important. I think the biggest bicep curl, the biggest Rep for gaining self love is keeping commitments to self. So don't go huge and lofty here before you're ready for it. If I have a client that comes to me and they're £350 and type 2 diabetic, I don't want them to say I commit to you that I'm going to eat perfectly every day for the next 90 days. They are going to break that.

22:37 They're going to let themselves down and they're going to diminish self love. So I may have them say I commit to you that every morning for the next three mornings I'm going to start my day with a glass of water. That's a big win. And at day three you get to celebrate because you've set yourself up for success instead of failure. So Daily Mirror work is where I start people and then over time helping them. See, my core belief is that every single human in your reality is a mirror for your internal state. So right now I'm talking to a mirror. I'm talking to myself, but I've named this mirror Andy, and I'm going to learn things through the unique consciousness experience of interacting with this particular mirror. So men that struggle to give themselves love or feel very uncomfortable in mirror work just start to notice.

23:21 Bring awareness in your mind to when you're out in the world and you're judging other people and you see some guy who's, you know, overweight in sweatpants at the grocery store and you're like, oh, I can't believe he's out here in his sweatpants and just pause, right? Why does it matter? He's in sweatpants. So if you can give unconditional love to other, it's just doing Jedi level mirror work because the mirror is also you. There's the mirror in your bathroom, and there's the mirror of your reality. So one of the fastest ways to build up self love in my opinion, is to learn just to catch yourself when you're judging others and just try to love them for exactly who they are without needing them to change. Right, Yeah. And especially in relationships, nobody, man or woman, human being, we can't love someone else fully if we don't love ourselves.

24:07 We can't give away something we don't have. Right. And I think that's yeah, the, the picking things apart because like, yeah, I don't love myself. So if no one else is good enough because I'm not good, though. Exactly. That's it. Your love of self is conditional. Right. And I want to give a shadow from mirror work. I I forgot about this. Actually, it used to be a daily practice. I was doing this like 20 years ago. Learned it from Louise Hay at a time I was depressed, suicidal. I'm a survivor of multiple attempts. I could not even hold my eyes. I couldn't look at myself in the face like I've never Oh my God, I want to look at me. I'm awful. So anyone who wants to try this, if you hit in that much resistance, it's OK, right. To to get to the place where I could say I love you, Andy, I had to 1st hate. I looked at myself and vent and said, you fucking suck, you're an asshole, you do everything wrong. And until I'm bawling and then I could say I love you. I get it.

24:58 I've released that. So it's just, it's a, a radical twist on, on what you're talking about. But again, if, if you're field drawn to, to ripping yourself apart, go there so that you can get through it. Like don't make it a practice of disparaging yourself in the mirror everyday. But if, if that's the sort of roadblock someone hits, I just want like, that's what I hit. So it's OK. Oh 100% I love that you went there because I had done talk therapy for about 5 years and around that time I had found psychedelics and stuff but it was when I I found a coach that taught me somatic work, which is really what you're talking about. I had my first somatic session with him and I cried so hard and he got me there through the side door of rage. He's like, hey, man, you're a big tough guy.

25:39 You're, you know, out here dead lifting and doing jiu jitsu. So like, you're very comfortable with rage. And he just had me go through this whole process of rage and smashing pillows and screaming. And before I knew it, I was crying like a baby. And I couldn't figure out why what is happening. So we're full circle now at the beginning of the conversation of not suppressing these emotions. I had, you know, 2830 years, whatever. I'm 38 now. But like of, of repressed emotions. And once I found that once I went there, the rage of like, God, I just hate everything. It's like the Hoover Dam cracked open and I just had a wave of emotions come and sort of free me from all of this bottled up stuff, which is what you're experiencing.

26:20 And that's why beyond the how to stop hiding exercise, one of the first exercises I give men is called emotional unleashing. We're doing somatic work like you're talking about, Like go there, go to the darkness, live in it, swim in it, love it, be grateful for it, and just do whatever you need to do to move that stuff. Yeah, when one of the earliest commuters I've had with a coaching client and we were both frustrated because he was a he could logically think and name problems, but wouldn't feel them. So I finally, I I said go get that chair. There's just a wooden chair in the room, I said, and smash it. No, no, no. And he finally he did. He breaks it to pieces and then starts bawling and could really like the the cork was out. And I always joked about like, Oh, I gotta like, I gotta visit every flew market and just get like a dozens of crappy chairs to like have this men's workshop everyone smash his furniture to breakthrough something.

27:05 But there's a lot to that. Like, again, men get into their motions through movement, right. It's but you get it. You'll get a guy to talk much more easier by going for a walk then sitting in down and say, honey, I need to talk to you. That puts the man like, oh, no, what's wrong? And fear of losing love, as you mentioned earlier, right. But yeah, you got to come in the side door for for most guys to get them to open up to to get through a block to break down some resistance. But yeah, I'm loving all the tools you're sharing. Yeah, man, is is what's one thing that you wish more men knew? Oh. That I think the purpose of life is radical, authentic self-expression.

27:50 So all the things that you are afraid of being judged for that make you uniquely you are the biggest gifts that you have to offer the world. And it's kind of like, you know, I know, you know, Internet marketing, if you're creating an offer and you're trying to sell it to the world and they say, who's this for? And you say everybody, you don't have an offer. You need to niche down to the specific people that you help. And this is the same thing with with all humans. You have a very unique special thing that is only you. You would there is when I say that each human is a unique consciousness experience, Andy is a unique consciousness experience that doesn't exist anywhere else in the world. So the things that make you unique are your greatest gifts. But if you want everybody to like you, then you're going to have to suppress some of that.

28:37 You're not going to be able to show up in radical authenticity. So I help people see it through the opposite lens. Like the more you show up in radical authenticity, you're just doing a great job of wedding out the people that aren't meant for you anyway. You don't want these superficial relationships or the person doesn't really know you. You're performing for them. They're performing for you. You can't be your whole self. I'd much rather have quality of relationships over quantity of relationships. So finding ways to express yourself in radical authenticity, which is why I start with honesty. I really think that's the biggest thing is, is I, I think when I was younger, especially in my music career, you know, trying to literally get the most downloads and get the most YouTube videos and get the most people to love me. I would just chameleon my way through the world trying to make everybody like me. But everybody was liking a version of me that wasn't really me.

29:22 So I had no authentic connections. I had no intimacy in connection. That's the thing. I wish that people, I wish people understood how special their uniqueness is. Yeah. Yeah, so all of your various masks had friends, but but you didn't, Justin didn't. Yeah, 100%. And again, voucher thing you're sharing here. Growing up, everything I thought was a weakness and a curse and something horrible about me has proven to be a a gift, a strength, something I use and something like other people applaud me for. I'm like, really. Like, you're right. Just, you know, for being emotional, for being vulnerable, Like, like I am the guy that will tell the barista, yeah, my dog just died.

30:03 It's like today sucks, you know? And we'll we'll ball in in public and pardon the name of the show. Real men feel was like, imagine that, you know, we come to a time when we see a man in public sobbing and he go look at that brave guy. Wow. So yeah, I suppose. Look at that pussy over there, right? Which is still what it kind of is today for most people, I think. But dude. I love that vision. That's, I love that you said that. Like, yeah, that's, that's the world I want to live in. And, you know, it's funny too, because I went so deep down the rabbit hole. I grew up watching Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone. I was born in 86, you know, started lifting weights when I was 15 and I wanted to be a boxer. Started, became a boxer when I was 18. I'm a purple belt in jiu jitsu. I, I did militia training. I did CrossFit, Olympic lifting. I learned kettle bells from Strong First and Pavel Satsu, Celine, like every tough guy thing you can think of. I've done it.

30:51 And it's so now when I'm talking to men, I find that the the men with the least amount of training in those places are actually the most fragile and want to fight the most and want to prove themselves the most. And I'm like, listen man, I can kill some people with my bare hands 100% and I will also cry my eyes out in public. I don't care who's around. If I need to feel, I'm going to feel. And why does it have to be binary? Why is one of those things tough and masculine and one of those things is weak and feminine? We need to literally rewrite the definition of what we think masculinity is. Because I believe that kings cry. Sure yeah to to me like that's why the the archetypes are part of the real men feel logo in front of the image we use and the king is available to step into every emotion step into every role. I mean control.

31:36 It's not that I deny and think some part of me is bad. Like no, I'm I am the I'm the sovereign of my entire experience. That's that to me. That's what being the king in your own life means. Yeah, 100% that that gets to like Youngie and shadow integration too. I, I think a lot of new age spirituality has this like love and light, love and light, love and light. It's like, OK, well shadow work is we're going to go become aware of the things that are in our shadow and we're going to face them. Yeah. And I'm like no no, shadow integration is you love all the parts of your shadow as much as you love the ego self. Neither 1 is good, bad, right, wrong, better, worse. It's like the things that are in your shadow that have been locked away in a basement.

32:16 It's not just you shine a flashlight on them, it's that you give them the same amount of love and attention and gratitude that you give to the parts of self that are your ego that have made you this bright shiny person. It's like you're saying you don't believe king, warrior, lover, or magician is any better or worse than any of the other archetypes. They all have to be fully integrated and fully expressed. Right. Yep. Awesome, man. So I'm going to make this public because I never know you're going to come back and we're going to talk more because you'd, I know we've even gone to all the other things that you also do. And, and it's such a rich conversation. And I, I love a guest that, you know, shares their story, shares how the being of service and gives concrete things that people can do today. Yeah, because, you know, ideally, you know, I guess every podcast is entertainment at some level.

33:00 But I, my goal for women feels that it's transformative, like you change and improve your life by, by having, by having guests like you, Justin. So again, I, I thank you for everything you've gone through, everything you're doing, everything you're going to do. Yeah. Man, I think you've got the opportunity to be here. This is this is great. I love this conversation. Cool. So, So what is the best way for people to find out more about you and and how to tap into your programs and learn about all the other things you're up to? Sure, yeah, the best way is always through social media for me, and it's just my first and last name, Justin Nault NAULT Justin Nault official is my handle everywhere, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, all the places. And it's it's me everywhere. I run all those social accounts. If you DM me, you're going to be chatting with me. That's definitely the easiest way to get in touch with me.

33:42 And you know, I would say, unlike most people that do coaching and things in the world, like I always want to start my interaction with anyone who wants to talk to me with a genuine conversation and understanding the problem that it is that they want to solve to see if I can even help them to begin with. I'm not just going to I'm the guy for you. Let's do the thing. Let's get on a sales call. I don't play that game. So the best way is to go to Instagram, shoot me Adm tell me you heard this. Tell me what you got going on and we'll just get real awesome. Again, thank you, Justin for joining us. Everyone listening, Thank you for joining us. Wherever you're discovering Real Men Field, please subscribe, like, share, share this episode with someone that you know would benefit from hearing about it. That's the best thing you could do for someone else. Go visit Real Men Field at org. There'll be a blog post with all the different show notes. We'll link to all the different exercises and tools that were mentioned.

34:27 And if you're not yet in the Real Men Field private Facebook group, maybe you didn't know what existed. Well, it does. Just visit realmenfeel.org/group and you'll be in that group. We get a little private chest, get behind the scenes things going there. You can always reach out to me at realmenfeel@gmail.com and until next time, be good to yourself.