The Power of Truly Showing Up: Embracing Humanity
Embracing the True Meaning of Showing Up with Marcy Axelrod
How Are You Showing Up?
In this episode of Real Men Feel, Andy Grant hosts Marcy Axelrod, a best-selling author and TEDx speaker, who delves into the true essence of 'showing up.' Marcy explains that showing up isn't just about being present but a deeper existential experience influenced by our beliefs, thoughts, and attention systems. They discuss the three roles we habitually play—self, situational, and societal—and how truly showing up can change our lives and improve our performance.
Marcy also shares insights from her latest book, 'How We Choose to Show Up.' She provides practical steps for individuals to truly show up, emphasizing the importance of care, noticing, and acceptance.
00:00 Welcome to Real Men Feel
00:18 Introducing Marcy Axelrod
01:22 Understanding 'Showing Up'
03:12 The Two Attention Systems
04:43 Levels of Showing Up
09:40 Society's Impact on Showing Up
17:18 The Natural Progression of Showing Up
24:18 Marcy's Personal Journey
24:53 A Childhood Memory and Its Impact
25:48 The Journey into Psychology and Consulting
26:09 Practical Steps to Show Up in 2025
27:31 The Importance of Noticing and Gratitude
28:31 Belief Systems and Emotional Care
32:34 The Role of Society and Individual Responsibility
36:04 The Concept of Showing Up
38:58 Final Thoughts and Call to Action
Connect with Marcy
Marcy Axelrod -- http://www.choosetoshowup.com/
LinkedIn -- https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcy/
Instagram -- https://www.instagram.com/marcyaxelrod/
Resources
How We Choose to Show Up: Nature's Playbook for Creating a Meaningful Life, Marcy Axelrod-- https://amzn.to/4jjkIrq
Immoderate Greatness: Why Civilizations Fail, William Ophuls -- https://amzn.to/3PIVbu5
Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Ready to create your best year yet? Book a Clarity Call with Andy at https://theandygrant.com/talk
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Personal Website | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Podcast Website | http://realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!
RMF Facebook Group | http://realmenfeel.org/group
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel
#RealMenFeel ep 337
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Hello and welcome to Real Men
Feel.
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I'm your host, author, coach and
healer, Andy Grant.
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You can learn more about me at
the andygrant.com.
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Real Men Feel exists to remind
men that they have the right to
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experience and express all of
their emotions.
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We have conversations that most
men are not having, but that all
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men can benefit from.
My guest today is Marcy Axelrod.
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Marcy is a best selling and
award-winning author, TV
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contributor, Ted X, speaker and
management consultant.
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Her latest book, How We Choose
to Show Up, is an award-winning
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#1 bestseller based on over 20
years of research.
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How We Choose to Show Up
presents nature's model for how
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humans are designed to show up
and thrive.
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Marcy shares the gift that
developing a stutter at age 6
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brought her the three roles we
are always engaged in and the
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three levels of showing up.
Marcy tells us why 80% of people
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are just showing up.
Action to take so that you can
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truly show up.
And one thing she wishes more
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men knew.
Let's do it.
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Hello Marcy, and welcome to Real
Men Feel.
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Andy, it is so great to be here
and I feel that you have helped
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so many people on topics that
are literally life saving.
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So the honor and the energy from
you that I feel being with you
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is, is palpable.
Oh, thank you so much for that.
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So you're an expert in showing
up.
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What does that mean 'cause I
know, 'cause sometimes I can, I
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can show up and I can and I'm
showing up.
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You know, it's, it goes both
ways.
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So.
Yes, I will bring the book over.
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I'm ready.
Wait here.
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Yeah.
What is showing up?
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It's a great question because
it's not what people think.
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Most people think showing up is
just walking into a room, right?
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You get off your couch, you show
up.
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Nothing could be further from
the truth.
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Showing up is existential.
Showing up is literally the
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experience of our lives, and we
do it in three roles at all
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times, not one.
We're not just an individualized
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self, and what we do flows
massively through others.
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So showing up is a choice of how
to be in the moment that honors
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the individual, the situation,
and the societal role that we
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all play it literally the world,
every moment.
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So is it?
Is it very different than being
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present?
Is being present in the moment
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mean you're showing up?
No present is necessary, but not
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sufficient because present
seeing leads you to the gates,
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but it doesn't really step you
in.
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You need to recognize that
behind how you present, you
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know, underneath how you, how we
all present is our set of
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beliefs, is our thoughts, and is
the attention system that we use
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to exist in that moment.
We have two attention systems.
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That's the great Ian Mcgilchrist
has explained to us, one of
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which makes you, Andy and
everything out there a thing.
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You're just a thing.
You're the thing that I'm
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talking to, right?
Ever, ever kind of walk through
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life and like someone's just a
thing.
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You don't feel what they feel.
You don't care.
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Everything is transactional.
It's an abstraction, you know,
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right.
So that's one way of attending,
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which is our left hemisphere
dominated way, right?
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That's the like there's a rabbit
in the Bush.
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I'm going to get it, I'm going
to kill it, I'm going to eat it
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and bring it back as food,
right?
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It's a it's a control over the
other way of attending to the
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world.
Andy, this is the one where
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right now you are changing me.
I'm feeling you.
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There is a depth in your
presence and I'm feeling it
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right here, right now through my
nervous system.
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And it just changed my breathing
and it reset me because it is
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now reminding me that, Andy,
what you and I are doing right
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now, it matters.
People may listen, people may
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not, but the energy that we're
putting out there, the fact that
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we are connected, that is what
the right hemisphere let's us
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do.
It's the only one that perceives
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anything new when we're just in
get it done mode.
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What I call just showing up,
right, it's level 2 and on our
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123 scale that I will show you.
When we're just moving through
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life and just showing up, we're
largely in that left hemisphere
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mode.
People are transactional beings.
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We're not in that moment able to
care.
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So I mean, presenting is
important, but there's so much
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more there's.
Do you understand the truth
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about showing up when you
understand the belief system
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about how the world works, you
presence very differently.
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And I'm going to you know, there
all these graphs are going to be
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in the show nodes, but levels
1-2 and three of showing up
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barely there just showing up,
which 80% of us do 80% of the
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time.
And then truly showing up, which
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is your full choice to inhabit
the moment with deep contact
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with it and, and, and the
newness of it, the, the people
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who were there, the environment
that's there, the much broader
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system.
Physicists being fully present
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and really fully alive because
you're, you're, you're engaged.
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It's not just transactional.
It's not just I'm surrounded by
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things and I'm just in this, in
the world of nouns.
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Well, it's in all three of our
roles, right?
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And you can't just be in a self
role and truly show up.
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You're also in your situational
role where you recognize the
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fullness of your impact, which
also means you're in your
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societal member role, right?
So we humans are only existing
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because of collective action,
right?
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We only existed as a member of a
tribe, right?
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The the individuals, the
gazelles, right, who get left
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behind, the group are the ones
who are victims and don't
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survive.
So we only exist now because
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we're a member of society.
So the is, it's more than what
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you were explaining.
It's recognizing the truth about
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showing up, which is that you're
impacting the world right now
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and that the kind of small, you
know, perhaps invasive thoughts
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in your head are really not the
ones to focus on.
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That's living as a very small S
for self.
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We're supposed to live in our
big S self, right?
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It's the it's the self of
Eastern contemplatives and
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indigenous people, peoples, and
really the roots of almost every
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religion on the planet
recognizes that we are deeply
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interconnected with something
well beyond ourselves.
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That's the large S self.
And I'm just dabbling on like
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what the model of showing up
truly is.
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There's a model we're in.
And this is what I believe is
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nature's model of how humans are
designed to show up to thrive.
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This is not Marcy Axelrod's
model.
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This is nature's model.
Overtime, it's going to evolve.
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It includes a lot of the wisdom
that's already out there, but it
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puts it into a model that lets
us understand and really get
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outside of those intrusive
emotions that kind of Michelle
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Maidenberg was talking about,
you know, trying to avoid and
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all these things.
And we should talk about that
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'cause there is no avoiding
anyway.
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We're in three roles, self,
member of situations and member
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of society, right?
Each role has a skill.
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We can get into that grounding,
readiness and connectedness with
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intent to serve.
And there's always a level.
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Everything has a level of
quality 123.
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If this is nature's model and
we're we're meant to truly show
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up, why are 80% of the people
80% of the time only kind of
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showing up?
Just showing.
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We're just showing up.
Level 2.
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Yeah.
So there are two things I want
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to answer.
So I'll answer why and then and
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then I'll kind of get at like,
what we're really made to do
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because we're made to live along
the continuum at all times and
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dance along that continuum.
So 80% of us, here's the
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continuum I'm talking about.
Why do 80% of us just show up?
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So you tell me what society
teaches us all those lies.
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You have to be busy.
You have to value things that
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are irrelevant.
You, I mean, you have to book
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your schedule with stuff that
doesn't contribute in the way
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that your soul tells you is the
right thing for you to be doing
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on the planet.
Should I go on?
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We're constantly triggered with
images and headlines that are
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meant to pull our attention, not
nourish it.
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On and on.
So society is designed right now
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to create the beings that we
are.
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Unhappy, stressed, triggered.
I'll.
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One of our three roles is is
societal.
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Humans exist due to society, but
society is also what's keeping
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us from truly showing up is
giving us incorrect messages.
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The current incarnation of
society is what has led to the
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illness we have now.
Our planet's illness, our
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atmosphere's illness, our our
own physical, mental, emotional,
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social, spiritual illnesses.
That's exactly right.
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And this is exactly predictable.
Many, many cultures have gone
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through this demise before us.
If you read book like Patrick
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Ofel's Why Civilizations Fail, I
mean, you know, this has been
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done many, many, many times
before, which is yeah.
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And I mean, this whole meta,
meta crisis, right, where
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everything is intertwined.
And Daniel Schmotzenberger
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speaks about it so, so
beautifully.
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We all feel that if we don't
stay on the rat race we're going
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to lose.
So we have a tragedy of the
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Commons on many levels,
including our own psyches and
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mental health.
Has American Society ever had
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the majority of people truly
showing up?
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Oh wow, I've never been asked
that has American Society, so
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let me explain.
Truly showing up isn't living in
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Level 3.
Truly showing up is
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understanding how to live in
Level 3 and doing your best
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because we're always moving
through 1-2 and three.
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Sometimes you just wake up and
you're 6.
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Sometimes a loved one passes
away and you're in barely there
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level 1 and you need to be
there.
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You need to process those
emotions and cry all day, right?
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So, so being in level 1 and and
level 2, these are not bad
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places.
However, ideally they're
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stepping stones toward being
able to choose to be more right
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hemisphere focused such that
we're feeling with and we're
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feeling for.
We're not just two right people
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talk supposedly to each other
and we're kind of doing all
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sorts of things.
And we're not really, we're not
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like this and we're not like
this.
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So I want to be careful.
Truly showing up is the ability
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to choose because you understand
how nature designed humans to
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thrive.
What attention system helps us
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to perceive anything new so that
we're naturally engaged,
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fascinated, and caring.
So before tech and when we were
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connected with the earth.
So I'm getting back to your
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question, has has American
Society ever been more of a
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truly show up culture?
Yeah, absolutely.
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When we were more linked with
nature and the land.
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So, you know, less city based
concrete, all of that when we
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were more intertwined with the
with our descendants, our
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relatives, our families, the
history, right, You know, last,
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the last name Baker and
Carpenter and all of that.
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That's because that was our
profession, right?
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So you kind of grew up with a
purpose to continue the family
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line.
The reputation of your last name
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was deeply meaningful.
The moral code and structure by
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which people live.
So all of these things, but kind
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of the big three are connection
with nature, connected with
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something beyond ourselves
being, be it a spiritual
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relationship or a familial sense
of identity that grounds us.
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Yeah, those are those are kind
of the big, the big 3.
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And when you have that, you
don't have this hollow seeking
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of, you know, there's an
insufficiency in my life that I
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need to fill and I'm lonely and
I'm miserable and I'm angry.
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Like that is those things don't
really take hold the way that
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they do.
Now, when you have that
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connectedness with something
beyond yourself and you
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recognize you're not just a
small S, right?
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You're the bigger self.
So it sounds like showing up is
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kind of like a building with
three floors and you we've all
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got an elevator and as long as
you know that there are three
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floors to go to, stopping at any
one of them is OK.
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But if you're in the ground
floor and you don't know that
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there are floors above you,
that's the real problem.
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Love that.
Interesting, yes, if you don't
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understand what it means to
truly be ready for your
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situations.
Right in your situation,
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memorable to be grounded in
yourself role and to be
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connected with intent to serve
in your societal role.
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If you don't understand what
that means and the whole belief
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structure of acceptance that
underlies all of this, yeah,
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you're you're you're not able to
truly show up very often.
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I really want to touch on that
acceptance, right?
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The continuum, like because we
are dancing along this every
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minute, every hour, every day,
every decade, every beginning,
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middle and end, and, you know,
across our lifetimes and our
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legacy, we are dancing along
that continuum.
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And so is everybody else.
So Andy, and so is everything
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else.
Systems of social justice, the
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architecture of poems, right?
Why don't they look more
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organic?
Why do you live in boxes with
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right angles when there's no
true right angle on the planet
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or in the universe, right?
Your school system, your job,
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you know you were into
videography, right?
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For a large company, Cisco, When
you, when you think about how is
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Cisco showing up?
How is its brand showing up?
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How how do the machines that it
builds on this planet serve
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right?
So everything shows up.
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And because of that, there's
there's this acceptance system
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that's naturally built in,
right?
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One leaf doesn't criticize the
other for becoming a deeper red
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in the fall.
We aren't here to do any of the
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kind, right?
So I want to kind of get these
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core concepts out there in
response to what you were saying
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about, you know, levels.
Yes, there are levels, but
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there's there's also a
tremendous contentment and
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release that comes from
understanding the truth about
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showing up and letting everyone
show up for who they are in the
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moments.
Is is there a natural way that
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individuals progress from just
showing up to truly showing up?
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Or must it be you know it's only
the result of reading your book
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or attending some sort of
training like.
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Yeah, there's a, there's a
natural progression.
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I mean, as you practice things,
you can start to default to
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them, right?
This is what learned the, the
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normal path of learning, right,
is something can seem effortful
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and then over time it's less
effortful and you and you start
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to do more of it more often with
less effort.
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And I actually have a chart at
the very beginning of my book
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that talks about what, what
happened when we're showing up,
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when, when we start to practice
showing up and it, and it
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basically shows that over time
we kind of start to default,
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like by nature to a higher level
of showing up.
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And then things are just
smoother.
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You know, relationships deepen,
contentment deepen, addictions
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have less of a biting hold on
us.
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Yeah, this is the chart, how
showing, and I call it how
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showing up improves performance.
I don't know.
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I get that or anybody can see
it, how showing up improves
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performance.
Bottom line is life, instead of
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doing a lot of this and you
know, with emotions taking hold
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and pulling us, we can feel the
emotion and just sit with it and
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reflect on it and not be ruled
by it and then have a choice.
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How am I choosing to respond?
Right.
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00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:47,040
And again, so the notion it's
choice, there's multiple levels
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00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,880
it it's it's fluid.
Someone doesn't I've I'm truly
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showing up today and stay there.
You know, let me address that
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if, if I could, you know, fully
showing up when you've gotten a
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great series of nights of sleep,
when you've had good nutrition,
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when you've gotten enough, you
know, physical activity in
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motion.
You know, when a lot is in
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place, it's going to be easy to
kind of truly show up.
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But then there's a point where
you need you just you know,
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you've, you've you've paid deep
attention for a long time and
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your brain needs you to go take
a walk around the block, right?
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00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:29,080
And you just, you just use just
showing up and just kind of
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being and letting it be as a way
to rejuvenate, right?
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00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:38,400
Because every, hmm, every
situation, every societal role
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doesn't require or perhaps even
benefit from you truly showing
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up in in every activity.
Yeah, yeah.
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00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,960
I mean, life.
Life is an impromptu dance.
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It just is.
And people often ask me, they
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say, Marcy, I can, I can, like,
prepare myself.
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00:18:56,440 --> 00:19:02,640
I can ready myself for my
moments, OK, But just like any
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00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,960
good plan, the moment it
encounters reality, it flies out
307
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:11,160
the window, right?
So they say, how do I prepare to
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00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:15,080
default for like an
improvisational dance?
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00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:20,000
That's at the level that I want
to function as a parent, as a
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leader, as a friend, right?
And the answer that I give is
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the more you think through and
reflect on the truth about
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00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,160
showing up, what are the beliefs
that underlie it, right?
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00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:38,920
What is the broader system, the
more it's effortless and you
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just naturally start to default
to Level 3 truly showing up.
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00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:48,120
But it's really, you've got to
reflect on what do I believe
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00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,560
about how the world works,
right?
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00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,640
Is there one VP slot?
And either, you know, Joe gets
318
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,200
it or Jane gets it and that's
it.
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00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:56,920
Is that really the way things
work?
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00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:01,160
So I am, I'm against the system,
I'm against this person.
321
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,280
No.
So there's a lot of things that
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00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:07,960
get in the way that once you
kind of read the book and start
323
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,240
to recognize it, it just starts
to show up.
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00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,280
Goodness starts to show up for
you and as.
325
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,040
You mentioned one of the
benefits of of truly showing up
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is improved performance.
Absolutely.
327
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,920
And is that just in everything
you do?
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00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,240
Is it primarily the workplace?
Like what?
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00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:25,880
What else?
What?
330
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Why do I want to truly show up
everywhere?
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00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,560
What's the benefit to me?
You know, Andy, I'm so going to
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00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:36,040
ask you, well, you tell me is
who you are and how you show up.
333
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,200
You know, it's only when you're
looking this way, but it's not
334
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,240
when you're looking that way
because like the workplace is
335
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,200
over here, but your
relationships are over there.
336
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,840
You know, it doesn't, it doesn't
work that way.
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00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,480
How you show up is how you show
up.
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00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:57,760
I mean, granted, it, it may be
that your spouse or teenage kids
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aren't in the workplace.
So maybe showing up in the
340
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,840
workplace may seem easier or
lighter.
341
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:10,160
But the truth is what underlies
our behavior and our belief
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00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,720
system about how the world works
that goes with us everywhere.
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00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:18,760
So the more you truly you're
capable of kind of invoking this
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00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:23,200
right hemisphere way of living
to truly show up, it'll help you
345
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,840
in everything.
And I've heard you mentioned
346
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,800
service a number of times.
So is is being of service part
347
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:34,400
of that societal role or or or
is it and is being serviced more
348
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:43,240
when you're truly showing up?
Yeah, so the the big S self is
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the interconnected giving self.
So it starts to merge with our
350
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:50,000
societal role.
And of course the point of
351
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,760
contact with reality is our
situational role.
352
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:58,160
So the orientation of taking
that mirror, that self mirror
353
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:02,440
doing this, I mean, it orients
us naturally across all of our
354
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:07,120
roles into being of service for
the greater good.
355
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,720
Doesn't mean you quit your job
and go spend your life building
356
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:14,600
homes for for Habitat for
Humanity or some other giving
357
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:15,680
thing.
It doesn't mean that you have to
358
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,240
take all of your your life that
way.
359
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:22,880
But what it does is in
everything you do, you are
360
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:27,040
recognizing that it is insert.
Everything we do is in service
361
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,080
of others.
Let's let's think about that.
362
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:33,560
So let's just put that lens on
everything and all of a sudden
363
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,960
you'll start to show up
differently.
364
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:39,720
And you've said that this isn't
something that you created.
365
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,080
This is this is a nature so and
I know you've done years of
366
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,840
research in this.
So how, how did you, how and why
367
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:49,560
did you end up being focusing on
on showing up?
368
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,320
Yeah.
So at age 6, when my family
369
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:58,560
moved from Baltimore to Boston,
you know, everyone was busy and
370
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:03,200
little Marcy there had to raise
my hand and say, help, No one's
371
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:08,120
paying attention to me.
So what actually happened is my
372
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:11,600
throat started to lock and I
started to stutter and I
373
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:15,480
couldn't show up as I wanted.
And I became an endless disciple
374
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of studying others.
How are others showing up?
375
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,360
And why are they showing?
They're throwing their show up
376
00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:26,880
choices away.
They don't recognize, you know,
377
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:30,080
and what I mention is, you know,
and there's this vivid image of
378
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:34,120
mine in line on the blacktop,
you know, to play Foursquare
379
00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:38,320
outside my elementary school.
And there was this bully in the
380
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,440
a square, this popular kid who
was slamming everybody out in,
381
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,680
in the line where all these
other kids and they were like,
382
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,240
Oh my God, I'm going to get
slammed out again.
383
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,320
And it's awful for me and
everyone's going to see it.
384
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,880
And I said to myself, why?
The bully isn't thinking about
385
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:53,760
how he's showing up.
The other kids aren't thinking
386
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:57,640
about how they're showing up.
The educators aren't coming over
387
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:01,880
and telling the person in the,
in the a, a square, if I see you
388
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,440
slamming kids out, you're going
to have to go and get, get
389
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:08,080
online again, you know, because
that doesn't, that doesn't
390
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:11,640
support the game.
You know, it doesn't support the
391
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,600
system of what we're all doing
here of learning to relate
392
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,400
anyway.
So that's how it all started.
393
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,880
And then I just started to
devour psychology and
394
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:23,280
neuroscience and philosophy.
And then I became a strategy
395
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,800
management consultant and
started to do global studies
396
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,720
about how companies achieve and
what creates an effective
397
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,320
workforce.
So just put it all together.
398
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:37,600
Cool.
So we're still early in 2025.
399
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,560
So, so are there are there
concrete steps, recommendations
400
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,200
that that people can, you know,
make this the year that they,
401
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,840
they truly show up, if not for
the first time, but more times.
402
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:49,200
Right.
Yeah, yes.
403
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,160
And I'm going to structure this
for you.
404
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,960
I'm going to give you physical
things, I'm going to give you
405
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,800
emotional things and I'm going
to give you beliefs.
406
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,120
The physical thing I want people
to do when you, and this will
407
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:07,120
have a huge impact when you wake
up, the moment you wake up,
408
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,600
pause.
Don't just let the consciousness
409
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:15,240
return and then jump into action
because what we want to do more
410
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:20,480
is be, not do.
And what's going to happen?
411
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:25,640
Maybe you sit up in bed, you're
naturally going to do something
412
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:29,560
first that's different than
you've done before.
413
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:34,520
And when you do one thing that's
new, the next thing that follows
414
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,640
is new and the next and the
next, right?
415
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:42,560
For for those listeners who have
seen the famous video by
416
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:47,080
General, I want to say
McCracken, make your bed, right?
417
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:50,240
He starts out, one thing leads
to another to another.
418
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:55,200
So when you wake up, pause.
You'll do something different
419
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,720
that'll lead to a trail of
things that are that are
420
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:01,720
different.
And what you likely will do is
421
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:06,480
you'll notice.
Noticing is a huge part of truly
422
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,720
showing up because everything is
new.
423
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:14,520
But we don't notice that it's
new because from our left
424
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,600
hemisphere, the past just shows
up.
425
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,880
All it's doing all day long is,
Yep, I've seen it before.
426
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,560
I've seen it before.
He's going to say this and she's
427
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,800
going to say that.
And I, I don't need to look over
428
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,240
there because I know what's over
there.
429
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:31,760
And OK, you'll start to notice.
Maybe some gratitude will show
430
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,040
up.
Wow, my partner is so thoughtful
431
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:39,160
of me or wow, I've got those
kids upstairs or of a roof over
432
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:43,160
my head or wow, I'm not feeling
pain or wow, I'm feeling a
433
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,600
little bit of pain, but it's not
as bad as it used to be, right?
434
00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:49,760
So that's the physical thing.
Pause.
435
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:55,280
First thing, the belief system
thing that I want you to
436
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:59,200
recognize you are impacting the
world at every moment.
437
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,960
I have the science in my book to
to talk about that.
438
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,080
It is absolutely massive.
Recognize that.
439
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,880
So the belief system, everything
you do matters.
440
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,600
So you must choose how you're
showing up.
441
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:22,240
The emotional thing, when you
are with another person, look
442
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,760
into their eyes and you will
feel them.
443
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:31,240
And I want you to emotionally
notice how your body is showing
444
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:37,440
up for you, because what you're
going to suddenly feel is care.
445
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:42,840
Care is the center of showing
up.
446
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:50,920
It is how we are designed.
We feel others in an instant,
447
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:54,080
even when we don't see them.
From a one second touch to a
448
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:59,240
forearm, 68% of the time people
guessed what a stranger they
449
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:03,880
can't even see is feeling.
That's the work of Dacre Keltner
450
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,600
at the Greater Good Science
Center, University of UC
451
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:12,520
Berkeley.
Anyway, so #1 when you wake up,
452
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:20,160
just pause and see what shows up
for you #2 when you're with
453
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,720
someone, feel what they feel.
That's care.
454
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:28,000
And then the third thing is know
that you're impacting the world
455
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,600
at every moment, so choose how
you show up.
456
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:34,960
And doing those three things,
Yes.
457
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,360
Is it even possible to barely
show up that day?
458
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:45,760
Across the day, Sure, but you
will probably show up more as
459
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:51,400
you choose more often.
What makes someone, well, maybe
460
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,080
it is is is if if someone falls
into just showing up or barely
461
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,880
showing up, is it always in
response to to circumstances or
462
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:03,160
is it other other other causes?
We naturally just show up in
463
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,880
today's world because we're so
on on the go.
464
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,480
OK, so it's all the, the, the,
the messages, the busyness, all,
465
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,720
all of the stuff that's already
mentioned is what's what keeps
466
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:16,600
people in there.
So our behavioral patterns today
467
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:25,200
are far more oriented toward
level 2 just showing up then to
468
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:31,320
having a calm nervous system
that brings us into a presence,
469
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:38,680
seeing in the moment with a with
an attention system of noticing
470
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:45,040
the death and truly being with
also doing this non judgmentally
471
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,920
right.
Don't interpret, just feel what
472
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,880
is there because the moment you
interpret, you've actually let
473
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,400
you aren't even in the moment
anymore.
474
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:57,040
You aren't there.
You are in some assumption, some
475
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,720
bias, some I can get that.
That's what this means they're
476
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,200
for.
That's not what's really going
477
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,280
on.
So what societal changes need to
478
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,280
happen to encourage more of us
to truly show up?
479
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,520
Oh wow, Oh my goodness.
Well as well we are that change.
480
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:18,680
The more often we can truly show
up, even if it's just a few more
481
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:23,000
seconds a day, we will shift
society.
482
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,600
The specific societal changes
that need to happen is more of
483
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,800
us need to recognize that the
small S self that we're living
484
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:34,520
in is just a total farce.
You know, call it an ego, call
485
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,640
it an I.
I mean, it is.
486
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:44,280
It is a real danger to the
health of the world and the
487
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:47,400
health of us and the legacy of
everything we leave behind.
488
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,960
We don't want to teach our kids
that, you know, hey, you're #1
489
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,920
let's go get back to #1 let's go
think about what's most
490
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:58,080
important.
You know, that messaging is
491
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,360
horrific.
If we thought that way when we
492
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:06,320
evolved, we wouldn't be here.
Like what other support do do we
493
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,840
need to recognize like, wow,
that's the thing to change.
494
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:15,000
We are situation members and we
are societal members at least as
495
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,640
much as we are individualized
selves.
496
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,640
And Andy, what's really
important is distinct does not
497
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:24,280
mean separate.
The loneliness epidemic that's
498
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,400
out here.
The fact that our surgeon
499
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:30,520
general wrote a book not about
obesity or cancer, he wrote a
500
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,840
book about loneliness.
It's called Together.
501
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:39,200
So that is because we're
misunderstanding what the self
502
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:43,400
is and we're totally missing the
other two roles that we're in.
503
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,400
We're in three roles.
Let's not forget that.
504
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:48,560
It's core to showing up.
And we're in those three roles
505
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:50,840
all the time.
Even even if I'm alone at home,
506
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,160
I'm there's a societal role
still existing for me.
507
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,520
Oh my word, absolutely.
You're the fact that you're
508
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,080
choosing to wear clothes, the
fact that like what you're
509
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:03,000
doing, your heat's probably on.
You're, you know, you, whether
510
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,640
you've got a book in your hands,
you've just pulled through a six
511
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:10,960
continent or seven continent
supply chain, you know, you can
512
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:13,800
never not be in your societal
role because you exist.
513
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:18,960
When we were indigenous humans
living in caves, we were still
514
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:22,040
in these three roles.
They have always been there and
515
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:26,800
so is everything that tree that
I'm staring at right now, that
516
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:30,240
tree, think about it.
It's in it's an individualized
517
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:31,880
tree.
It's in the ground.
518
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,600
So it, there's a situation going
on.
519
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,080
It's blowing in the breeze, it's
absorbing sun, it's giving off
520
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:45,120
oxygen.
So, so it is very much in a
521
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,800
situational role right now, but
it's also in a societal role.
522
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:53,160
Its roots are interlinked with
with, I mean, I think the latest
523
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:57,760
research is all the trees on the
planet and it's giving off
524
00:32:57,760 --> 00:32:59,840
messages.
Oh, I've been infested by this
525
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:04,040
kind of bug to the trees around
it so that they create a certain
526
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:08,160
toxin for the bug so that so
that all the trees around, don't
527
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,720
we?
So everything is in those three
528
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,120
roles.
And thank you for bringing that
529
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:17,200
up.
This is fascinating and really
530
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:22,880
deep.
So is, is, is, is your working
531
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,240
book target?
Are you targeting businesses,
532
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:30,160
management, you know, regular
people at home?
533
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:30,960
Like what?
What?
534
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:32,440
Why did you?
Why did you do this?
535
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,920
You know, it's interesting
because literally the chief
536
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,960
speech writer for George Bush
was one of the editors of my
537
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,040
book, and she very much wanted
me to Orient the book at the
538
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,680
level of society as the main
thing.
539
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,800
I find that you got to meet
people where they are.
540
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,040
Yeah, who?
Who's the target?
541
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:50,160
Like who?
Who's this intended?
542
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:54,000
To help, I Orient the book at
the end of the level of the
543
00:33:54,000 --> 00:34:01,240
individual, but I very much talk
about the person as a parent, as
544
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:06,600
a manager, as an executive, as
as a leader of society, as a
545
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:10,120
creator.
Are there concrete practices
546
00:34:10,199 --> 00:34:11,800
beyond just the three tips you
shared earlier?
547
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,560
Are there concrete practices
that help people?
548
00:34:13,679 --> 00:34:16,000
Oh my, my goodness, yes.
The book is filled with them.
549
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,840
It's filled with real world
examples.
550
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:19,600
It is filled with real world
quotes.
551
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,920
It is filled with, you know,
details of the 20 years of
552
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:26,320
research.
So it is, it is very scientific.
553
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:31,840
The book is very much quoting
research that I've done and that
554
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:34,639
other people have done.
So it's, it's hard hitting, it's
555
00:34:34,639 --> 00:34:37,960
heavy hitting.
And I've got a whole chapter of
556
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:39,679
recommendations people can pick
and choose.
557
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:43,360
Meditation is absolutely the top
of the list.
558
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:47,239
Anything that leads us to
reflect, to pause journaling,
559
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:50,480
absolutely huge.
If you can see a a therapist or
560
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,480
have some kind of therapeutic
relationship where you can be
561
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:58,520
vulnerable, absolutely huge.
By the way, authenticity is also
562
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,400
a core of showing up because
when you accept that you're
563
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,080
moving up and down the continuum
at all times, guess what?
564
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:08,120
You're vulnerable.
You can be authentic, it just
565
00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:09,560
happens.
Why?
566
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:15,200
Because it's our nature.
It's not our nature to have to
567
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,840
prove ourselves every moment,
which is what society teaches
568
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,560
us.
And that's what leads to the
569
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:26,920
four issues of feeling lesser
than feeling better than feeling
570
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:31,080
I need to be seen as or feeling
I deserve.
571
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,000
Those four things, they just
dissipate.
572
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,640
They fly away.
Once you understand the truth
573
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,640
about showing up because you
recognize you're connected to
574
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,760
everything, you're impacting the
world.
575
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:47,560
Your intuition really is truth.
And just life becomes more of
576
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,560
what you want, who you want, and
how you want.
577
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,840
Awesome.
So in all of your research in
578
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:58,560
the book, in showing up or
beyond it, is there anything
579
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:02,680
that you wish more men knew?
I love that question more.
580
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:06,800
Men.
So showing up transcends gender,
581
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:13,320
it transcends ethnicity, it
transcends religion, it
582
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:17,080
transcends ability level.
All these things that we often
583
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:20,760
use to divide us, showing up
functions at the level of
584
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:24,800
humanity.
So what I would tell men is
585
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:29,640
think about yourself as a human
being first.
586
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:34,880
That is what's most important.
Don't listen to the programming
587
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:38,680
that's out there about who and
what you're supposed to be
588
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:43,160
because of your genitalia.
That is not what matters.
589
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:49,120
Learn the truth about showing
up, about how we're supposed to
590
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:53,200
function, and I think you will
be much freer to be who you're
591
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,640
truly meant to be.
Excellent.
592
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,920
So Marcy, what's what's the best
way for people to find out
593
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:00,600
everything you're up to and
learn more about the book?
594
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:01,440
Where?
Where should they go?
595
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,040
Yeah.
So the books on Amazon just put
596
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:09,800
in Marcy Axelrod or put in how
we choose to show up my website
597
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:14,480
choose to showup.com.
Thanks for more than just being
598
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:16,000
here with him, but thanks for
all the research.
599
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,440
Thanks.
Thanks for caring six years old
600
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:22,560
to to get and to not just help
yourself but to help everyone
601
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:25,840
around you and embracing your
societal role.
602
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,360
Oh goodness.
You know, it's a calling and I
603
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:35,520
want people to hear this, Andy.
Most people don't know a
604
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,640
specific purpose of why they're
here.
605
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,520
In fact, it's like the the P
word, right?
606
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:44,000
Research at at Stanford show
that 80% of Stanford students,
607
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:48,600
they get, they kind of go like
when you ask them what's your,
608
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,440
your purpose and like, what are
you going to do when you're done
609
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,000
here?
Anyway, the point is, for me,
610
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:59,480
this is a calling, right?
It's not work, it's not a job,
611
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,360
it's not a career.
It's a calling.
612
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,560
I'm truly meant to do this.
And it was the gift of the
613
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:07,320
stuttering.
I think a lot of us have pain.
614
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:10,040
And you got to ask yourself,
what's it teaching me?
615
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,720
What's, what's the path right
through the pain?
616
00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:19,440
So I was called to give to Ted
talks and be on a global stage
617
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,760
because I couldn't speak before,
right?
618
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,800
And I want that message to be
out there.
619
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:29,080
There's a reason for for this.
And it's forcing us to develop a
620
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:30,840
skill.
And what's the skill?
621
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,960
And that's what we're supposed
to be doing, right?
622
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:39,520
You are doing that, Andy, with
your life and with your joy.
623
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,760
Where did your joy come from?
Right?
624
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,720
You earned your joy through what
came before it.
625
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:48,240
That's a good point.
And I want to go journaling.
626
00:38:48,240 --> 00:38:49,600
Where's my joy coming from?
Where did you?
627
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,760
Where did you start?
I feel it.
628
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:52,640
You're.
Yeah.
629
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,600
But I, I didn't, I I have
because I didn't, I definitely
630
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,400
didn't always have it.
That's that's why I like.
631
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,600
Yeah, well, it was covered with
some other things.
632
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,840
Let me ask you.
So how does showing up compare?
633
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:08,600
You've had a lot of guests.
These guests are important
634
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,880
people who are doing meaningful
things, right?
635
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,640
I mean, everyone's important.
I've got to be be careful with
636
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,440
that word.
But you've, you've chosen them
637
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:21,080
because they've, they've
contributed in ways that you
638
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:25,280
wanted to amplify how does
showing up and, and how I think
639
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,000
compared to what other people
are talking about.
640
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:34,280
Oh boy, that's some tough
analysis because I, I sometimes,
641
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:36,120
I don't have many, but I
sometimes have guessed that I
642
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:39,360
don't agree with.
I, I have guessed to, to open my
643
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:43,880
horizons and viewpoints.
And so it doesn't mean
644
00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:48,120
everything.
Yeah, I agree with or everything
645
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:49,160
that's ever been shared in a
show.
646
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:54,880
But it's a very holistic, it's,
it's very putting together lots
647
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:56,240
of pieces.
Like so many.
648
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:59,760
I feel like I'm on a string of
like maybe six or seven shows
649
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:04,120
where the importance of knowing
yourself shows up, the joy and
650
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:07,400
service keep showing up.
So, yeah, it's this, this.
651
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,120
And again, 'cause it, it's
nature.
652
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:11,320
So it makes sense that
everything that we're talking
653
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:14,440
about is in this is in this
model because it's how we're
654
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:16,440
meant to be.
Yes.
655
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:22,120
Oh, I love that there's a system
and most people live in parks.
656
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:26,720
The left hemisphere sees about
3% of the whole picture that's
657
00:40:26,720 --> 00:40:30,400
out there.
So showing up naturally, you
658
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,040
know, it gives you the rest of
it.
659
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,520
And often suffering is because
we're down a little full.
660
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:40,920
We've we've carved off the rest.
And what's showing up does is it
661
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:44,160
puts it back together for us.
Again, thanks so much for
662
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,240
showing up today.
Thank you, Andy.
663
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,600
I appreciate you.
Thanks for joining us,
664
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:50,320
everybody.
Please visit Real Men Field at
665
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:51,920
org See the blog post for this
episode.
666
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:53,880
We'll have all of various links
and resources discussed.
667
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,600
Wherever you're discovering Real
Men Feel, please subscribe,
668
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:59,760
like, follow, share this episode
with someone, post a review or a
669
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:02,840
comment.
If you want 2025 to be your best
670
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,680
year yet, I invite you to book a
free Clarity call with me and
671
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,080
we'll explore what you want and
what's in your way of getting
672
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:11,160
there.
Is it the andygrant.com/talk?
673
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,960
And until next time, be good to
yourself.
The Choose To Show Up Person
Marcy Axelrod is a bestselling and award-winning author, TV Contributor, 2X TEDx speaker, and management consultant. Her latest book, How We Choose to Show Up, is a #1 Bestseller and was recently awarded the Hayakawa book prize.
Marcy has been interviewed in Forbes, Psychology Today, and The Marketing Journal, among others.
Her approaches have been tested and proven through projects with some of the world’s largest high-tech companies (e.g., HP, SAP, Cisco). With a background on Wall Street (Lehman Brothers) and in Silicon Valley, Marcy’s work has been highly praised by professors at Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Columbia, and Cornell.
Based on 20+ years of research, Marcy’s latest book, How We Choose to Show Up, presents in 3-D nature’s model of how humans are designed to Show Up to thrive. The resulting model is helping thousands of people connect more deeply with themselves, others, and their experiences, adding meaning to their lives, and helping companies around the world to innovate and grow.
Showing Up integrates neuroscience, psychology, behavioral economics, and evolutionary biology with top consulting strategies and leading business practices to help people, companies, and societies succeed.