The Selfless Man: Transforming Health and Leadership

0:00 When we are taking care of ourselves, it is selfless, right? You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Put the airplane, ask on first before you can help anyone else. Those are always the rules and we always want to put it on others. But then you're left fatigued, You can't think clearly, you're not making good decisions, and therefore you're not actually caring for the people around you as best you you actually really can. Hello and welcome to Real Men Feel. The podcast reminds men that they're human beings, and that's OK. I'm your host, Andy Grant. Today's guest believes that the most selfless thing a man can do for the people he loves is take better care of himself.

0:43 I'm joined by Coach Brian Purana, a health coach, husband, father of four, and former CrossFit gym owner who's helped thousands of men transform their health and their lives. Brian's not about fad diets or quick fixes. He blends science, back strategies, radical accountability, and a brotherhood of support to help men reclaim their energy, confidence, and leadership at home and at work. If you've ever felt guilty for taking time for yourself, or you've told yourself you'll get healthy when life slows down, this conversation is the wake up call you need. If you're looking for a space to connect with other men on this journey of authenticity and growth, join us in the Authentic AF community at realmenfield.org/group. It's free and it's for you.

1:27 Let's do it. Hello, Brian, and welcome to Real Men Field. Hi, Andy. Thanks for having me. So appreciate it. So you've been in health and fitness for your entire career. Personal training, owning gyms and now coaching. What first drew you into fitness? I like to say it was, it was Rocky Balboa. Funny enough, the training montages when the music starts going and it's just like, oh, that is what really got me interested and excited about just exercise. I played sports. I did baseball and basketball. I couldn't really catch anything really. Well, I, I quickly moved on from that to my, my friend, high school friend, and I actually saw him in the last week, Dan, he actually invited me out to go run track.

2:18 And that started really getting into the exercise be old and the training and the exercise. I'd wake up early and we'd train on the weekends. And it's just evolved from such a a young early age basically. And has your approach to health and self-care changed since Rocky? In general, no. I work out multiple times a week. I try to eat healthy. Today we had some tilapia with some corn and some sweet potato fries. That was dinner we just got done eating. I drink lots of water. Actually have my my water here. So this is 40 oz container.

3:02 Try and get at least 2 for sure. More likely 3:00 every single day. And I do my best with sleep. If if I were to have an Achilles heel, that usually is sleep and that gets sacrificed for career, it gets sacrificed for exercise, it gets for family, all sorts of things. So. So there are two great stressors in life that that people choose to undertake. 1 is entrepreneurship and one is relationships, and you've known your wife since high school, so I wonder if you have any secrets to making both those things work? Oh, I, I wish I did. 1 is being persistent and wanting to make sure that the relationship works right.

3:50 I and she, we both came from from divorced parents and we understand what that looks like and feels like. And we have, we have 4 kids. We don't want to repeat that. And so there's a committed consistency that we want to have for our relationship to be there and be together for them quite a bit. And I, I still really enjoy her company. She makes me laugh and we, we travel a lot. We've, we've done all 50 states, multiple countries, continent. She's the traveller and I get guilt by association and get to out with her quite a bit. And that's something that has I probably wouldn't have done, not even remotely to the level that my my mom and and family, We used to just go to Myrtle Beach on repeat it felt like for many years. But we've been all over the place now as a result of Amber's desire to travel and explore the world. There's something you say that I really love and resonate with, and it's that men taking care of themselves is one of the most selfless things they can do.

5:02 Right. Could. Can you expand on that? Yeah. Definitely, Andy, when we are taking care of ourselves, it is selfless, right? You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Put the airplane. Ask on first before you can help anyone else. Those are always the rules and we always want to put it on others. But then you're left fatigued. You're left you can't think clearly. You're not making good decisions and therefore you don't. You're not actually caring for the people around you as best you you actually really can. A lot of guys have been taught that not to put themselves 1st and perhaps they feel guilty for doing so.

5:44 How do you help someone reframe their mindset if that's the case for? Them yeah, I I love that reframe word. And whenever I'm talking with anyone, I am jumping into what their why is why is this important to take care of yourself at some point? Usually in my experience, unfortunately, people come to me in some of the worst health that you've been in. Like Brian, I need some help. Now, most people aren't knocking on my door, probably in yours too, right there. There's some sort of issues that are going on when they start to show up to find, troubleshoot, problem solved and overcome those things. And I have to understand why is it important for someone to better their health to start paying attention to the food they eat and and move their body? Because the lack of doing that has caused them to move in the direction that they don't want to experience anymore. And we know unfortunately, 40% of Americans are overweight or obese.

6:44 It's moving in that direction. And poor health assisted living centers is big pharma. We have so much around people just getting sick. Prevention is a cure. And if we can take care of ourselves first, not just even if you want to think about it from a lighter thought is you're actually going to save money by taking care of yourself because of the added extra healthcare expenses or insurance or even think about the time. How often do you want to actually go to the doctor? Andy you probably never really want to go to the doctor, right? It's not not the first place you want to mark off on your calendar to, to go visit and and therefore, if we take care of ourselves, we can greatly reduce our our exposure and likeliness of having a diseased state in our body and our mind because they're interlinked.

7:40 What sort of changes have you seen in men's lives when they do finally focus on their own health? I, I actually reconnected with an old client. This was pre COVID that we started working together and he said I want to lose weight, get in better shape and and all that. And Mike was his name and I reconnected with him just literally in the last few weeks because I'm, I'm just really getting out and eating out of the trenches in a sense. I've just been so head deep and working individually one-on-one with people. And this is the podcast coming out and exploring this. So I reached out to him and connected and he said, hey, I'd be happy to get on call, but I have something else to tell.

8:20 You said, oh, you're leaving me in suspense, aren't you? And we got on the call. He said, Brian, when we were working together, I met a girl who's now my fiance and we're actually getting married in August, literally in this month that we're in right now. And that is why I do what I do. That's what I'm after. I've had so many stories that Drake is another one. Drake came to me 270. He was a crazy successful career managing lots of zeros and an architect firm in Tennessee. But his blood pressure was so high, the doctor was threatening him that you're going on meds ASAP. And he said give me give me a couple weeks to try and solve this.

9:08 This guy just launched because he knew he was a walking heart attack and he changed his lifestyle. He changed what he thought. He changed his career. He actually exited his career. He sold off his Shelby GT Mustang that he was driving around in because I asked him a question, do you even like that car? And he said actually, Brian, I don't I'm not sure why I'm driving it. And the guy sold it off within a week and got up and up 150 because that's the type of guy he is. And that it just became congruent lifestyle around who he was and what he is about. And he was able to express that through taking better care of himself. And those are just two of countless stories of even doctors saying they, they look at you, my, my client, what have you done?

9:58 This is great. I barely recognize you or your, your blood panels are so much better than they were. Maybe we don't have to be diabetic or we don't have to worry about heart disease really in a sense and and just amazing stories like that or, or why I do it and keep doing it. What are some of the most common excuses or obstacles that men will talk about for not taking better care of themselves? One, men fall in the old adage of never asking for directions. I think you probably experienced that with in a lot of your work as well, right? The men don't want to ask for help. And I think that is an old fallacy that we don't have to continue.

10:42 Men's health, especially mental health, has been talked about more and more throughout the last, say, 1520 years. And it's OK. I, I, I have a coach, I like being guided, I like being supported. I'm in your community. I, I like being connected to other men even, but one, just even going back to my story of my father was there in my youth, but not so much recently and more absent in the last, you know, 15 to 20 years that that impacts me. I don't have the manual to being a good husband. I don't have the manual to being a good father. And I'm a constantly assessing the landscape of who are good role models or what should I be doing and, and all that. And that, that really helps me guide. So men, you're allowed to ask for help. So that's number one.

11:34 And then number 2 is I'm too busy. BUSY. That's the number one excuse I hear from everyone. Or I'm going to do it tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes. These are inherent delays that people want to put off because they just don't want to take responsibility. Life is lifing. You have to accept what's going around around you. And if you don't like it, you can change it, especially your health. And that's the most important place to start, especially if things feel out of control or swirling around. And I say this, and I think this is your body can be a reflection of what's going on inside or in turn in in your world. And you don't have to say that just because you're overweight, you're say lazy or your your home life is bad or something. That's not what I'm implying.

12:30 But there could be some bad blood panels by having extra weight or just eating poor food choices consistently. It doesn't matter how much you weigh, you could still get diabetes because of the choice of food that you eat and put in your mouth. That's really important. So those are some of that that the main ones that I see a lot. And for driven, busy men, is the tipping point when they say enough is enough? Is it usually something that confronts their own mortality, like a warning from the doctor? I would say that ends up being a a big proprietor to getting people to move in that direction.

13:12 The second one is the closest home fit. Third one is that they see themselves in a picture that all of a sudden, wow, that's not it. Or say they catch themselves at the beach with the shirt on in a in a picture. It's like this isn't the look. And another thing is that at some point in life you end up in quotations, having it all right, you, you're financially secure, you have your family, you have a car, you have a house. You've acquired the say the basics to the American dream. But then if you're living in a body that can't support that effort, that can't keep up, that can't stay productive, that you can't engage with your children in a sense and go play with them and not get winded, that's a big problem. And I think that one thing I want to do is stop men from having midlife crisis at 42.

14:07 I understand it. There's so much responsibility weighing on you that you taking care of yourself is the 1st and most important thing. Don't, don't go buy a car. You don't need another car. That's not, you don't need a giant TV. You, you don't need a larger house. You need the house that you're living in needs to be whole. It needs to be energetic, it needs to be well taken care of. Yeah, the American dream seems to take our health for granted. Like that's never called out in it. It's like I got all the stuff right. It doesn't talk about. How do you feel? Right. There's a lot of empty people that have a lot of money. So tell me about your program the the call to rise. The call to rise is this cultivation of everything from the experiences with my clients who take control of their health and then have of course they change your body, but those bigger outcomes of transformation in their life, that's what this is about. So the call arise it's 100 day program, it's a fat loss experience.

15:08 Really want to get away from say information because we even you are probably dealing with it, right. AI is everywhere. You just ask AI for a meal plan and a workout and that, but that's not going to create the support. That's not creating the connection. That's not creating the real life human to human experience that we thrive off of because we are human and staring at a screen 24/7 is not how humans were meant to live. And unfortunately, it's the way that our society has gone for better and we could say worse too. So that's what it is. 100 days. We're going to weekly challenges, quarterly assessments is small court holds of gentlemen to bond together.

15:51 The cord would be called the Brotherhood. There are 5 pillars of the fuel, the forge, the call. We've got the mindset, we've got different ways to connect and make sure that the transformation definitely starts in the body but then transpires into everything else. So yes, we do nutrition, yes, we do fitness and we do it in the most fun, engaging way from from that. That's called rise. And you mentioned the Brotherhood, so there's really a community built around this. And it's not just, you know, watching an exercise video from home and figuring out how to go get yourself through it or. Something no, there's millions of YouTube exercise videos.

16:34 Go watch those right? Even the clients that I work with for years. You want you need a 20 minute workout? Cool, let's just go find one on YouTube that's a resource and a way to exercise and express yourself. But I'm talking about connection and that's something that I don't think a lot of men have to be honest. I don't unless I'm purposely seeking it out. And that's part of what our connection is. I'm purposely seeking out more connection with other men that are leading in the space and are trying to do really good things. And I, I have 4 close friends, they call them the Four Amigos and we all are founded in fitness. We work out together and two of them are from my high school running days.

17:18 Then Dan and Leo, I have Chris who works out in this barn with me here. We worked out today is Friday, so we worked out yesterday or no Wednesday, We worked out Wednesday and then Andy, Andy and I, we run, but we all have multiple kids, three or more, three out of the four business owners. And the exercise allows us to have our connection piece, which then allows us to get deeper into the onion, so to speak. So we actually have talk, we have conversations about our family, about important things to us, about our business life. And, and it's a really great point to have closer people like that that are trying to thrive in their own right, because you're only as good as the five closest people that you surround yourself with.

18:07 We heard that from Tony Robbins forever and and having a network like that is so important. Right. And it's though it's centered around exercise, the conversations are much deeper than what do you mention bro. Certainly, certainly there's some fun jest and poking just guys being guys and I can do more than you and things like that. But it's not, it's, it's built on healthy competition of where we, we, we go inward on it. We're not trying to outdo each other. You're just trying to outdo yourself to be honest. And and then also we're not doing crazy hard things. I just want you to do a little bit better than you did last week because that's how you make progress that's how you create momentum is 1% at a time that James clear method and the atomic habit stuff, right 1% better.

18:56 And if we can do that everyday and we can make better choices about what we put in our mouth and about how we move our bodies and about how we drink our enough water and we get to sleep on time and we actually connect with those people closest to you, then your life is going to be whole. It's going to be fruitful, it's going to be blessed. And that's that's what I want to see more men experiencing right now than I, I truly think they are because a lot of acquaintances that I come into and in this age range are they might have the house, they might have the car, but they're when it's Austin done. One, the conversations don't go very deep. And then two, there's some loneliness in a sense, there's a lack of connection there.

19:41 They don't have that say, high school connection, A-Team like mentality that that they they would probably do so much better with. Yeah, I think guys long for connection and community, but then guys are also taught that you shouldn't long for anything. Right, right. You can be the lone wolf. You can just do it on your own. You can figure it out well, and here's a here's a kicker is say that generally they're pretty successful in business. They haven't figured it out on them. They've hired help, they've hired out, they've gotten mentors, they've gotten coaches, they've gotten, they've gotten masterminds. They're paying money to be surrounded by that type of that gross mindset.

20:25 But then in their own health, they just totally throw the baby out with the bathwater. And it just doesn't need to be that way. So if a man is listening right now, feeling burnt down, disconnected, maybe he's noticing in pictures that he's how he how he thought he looked in the world is no longer accurate, right? What's a first step? A first small step that you would suggest. Right. And consistency is where we're going to want to have as an undertow. So let's assess one, what you're putting in your mouth because that's going to have the biggest change in your overall energy and appearance in the day and you're going to notice it. When people come in to the program and work with me, that's they get more energy within the first week. They say I'm more energetic, I'm feeling better, less digestion issues and I'm not trying to fall asleep at 3:00. I can think clearly.

21:22 We want to have just basic tips like everyone knows how to eat healthy, but they don't. And then that's another thing is just do the things that you know you should be doing. And, and that's where we create some accountability. But say nutrition, we need to have some lean protein when you have some vegetables or some fruit and, or, and then some starchy carb in a reasonable portion For men, if they're eating anywhere from a 500 to 700 calorie meal, they're going to be full enough to get them to the next time they're going to eat again, it's going to give them energy. It's going to balance out their blood sugar levels. So they're going to get adequate amounts of protein. They're not going to have digestion issues and they're going to feel good. And, and, but that's the easy part. It's the how do I be prepared and how do I plan for this? Or how do I manage client meals and the, the pizza night that the family wants or even last night we ended up having an impromptu fire that we had the hot dogs and the s'mores and, and all this stuff.

22:22 So how do I participate with my family but still take care of my health and have the, the look to feel that I want to. And those are the say, taking care of yourself is simple, but it's not easy. And those are the not so easy parts to to try and figure out. It's what we do. So your husband, a coach, a father to four. So how? How do you balance your health and spending time with family and serving clients? That's the the $1,000,000 question here, right? I don't always, right. They're different seasons of life where we can focus on different areas and then we just need to make sure there's a little bit of balance so you can just go all in for weeks on end or even days on end and and work and just ignore everything else because then that part of your life will spiral out. A couple things.

23:16 One is for me, the schedule is so important. My wife and I, it's my job. I, I do my best. I'm a human, so I'm not going to tell you I'm perfect. And I think that's false advertising for sure. But we try and have a nightly meeting where we connect and we talk about what we're doing and who's going where and what's happening. We spend time walking the dog to connect. And she's an entrepreneur and owns her own travel business as well. She takes people on bucket list trips that they want to go on but don't know how to do it. That's what she does and we connect there or we spend our time while our whole family walks the dog or we go travel or we do these things so we we can spend these really powerful. What my wife likes refer to Amber is her name referred to as building core memories.

24:05 So we do really throwing things like it literally dropped her off at the airport a couple about two hours ago to take my daughter on the mom and me middle school trip that my wife created. And she's taking all the older boys, the three older boys, boys on a adventure, just her and them individually to Disney, to Universal Studios, to something where they're able to spend time together. So we do those really impactful things and then we then create a lot of opportunity for our kids to, to, to connect. So we're, we're constantly juggling who's driving where and what. And it can be crazy chaos in a sense, but usually something is getting dropped in a sense.

24:51 And try not to let it be family most importantly and usually say it's business. So should I say make that social media post? Should I write that article? Should I add another 5 emails to my e-mail automations and stuff to go out? Or how do I keep prioritizing that stuff? And when it's all said and done, family first is going to be most important. So there you go. Long answer for I don't got it figured out just yet. I look at the schedule often and try and do my best that should I be doing this thing or should I be doing that thing because one of them is going to get sacrificed. Do you still enjoy exercise?

25:34 Yes, yes. Now, am I going to work out by myself? Technically, I'm probably going to find something else to do because there is an ever landing honey, do list, a business list, a kid list or all the things, right? I will do it if every say 3 or 4 days, if I were to go that long without exercising. And then I get this itch. I got to work out. I got to do that. And it's just ingrained in me because it's part of my behavior as a human. It's part of my identity. I schedule time with my buddies to work out, and that's probably the most important thing. So I'm scheduling time with my wife to walk because I know she wants to talk to me so we can move and we can walk and, and, and connect that way. And then I connect with my buddies because if they're showing up, I'm showing up too and I'm bringing the heat. We don't lift the same weights or whatever, but we just come in here and we again, this barn that I'm in, we just hoot and holler and work out and, and, and just be, I guess boys again and just really enjoy that experience together. And so scheduling time for exercise is how I get it done. And I don't know, I'm not always motivated. Sometimes I just have to do it anyways because it's something that has to get done.

26:49 You've mentioned self leadership in the past too. So is that kind of doing what needs to be done and and owning that and taking that responsibility? Right. Well, as a man, as the breadwinner, as the patriarch, as the father, as the leader in a sense of even say my clients, I have to assume the role in the position and do the tasks that are required to get me to be that person. I can't just show up and hope that I'm that person. You're only that person by doing the actions on repeat to then be able to create the inner belief that you are that person to then go exhibit those things or learn the skills or show others and, and guide them and, and give them inspiration or encouragement or empathy or sympathy and, and all sorts of ease that can come up in the process of being able to connect with someone so that they get better, they get healthier, they are happier in a sense.

27:54 Ryan, what's one thing that you wish more men knew? I wish more men knew that it's OK to love themselves, it's OK to be open, it's OK to be vulnerable, it's OK to express themselves and. And often times they just close up and they don't know how to to do any of that and. Brian, what's the best place for listeners to go to learn more about you and all your offering? Yeah, the the call to rise.com is the website and they have a freebie on there. It's a three day fat loss protocol. You don't want to get up with the the 100 days.

28:35 Then we can start with history. It's the the Rise 72. It's it's a step by step guide to tell exactly what to do with your nutrition, what to do with your exercise and to give you some extra productivity and focus type things to work on. You can find me at Coach Brian Piranha on all the socials. Brian, thanks for your time today thanks for all you're doing to help other men live better longer lives it it's my belief that the world needs is more happy, healthy men to make it a better place for all of. US 1000%. I agree with that too. Big thanks to Brian for bringing so much wisdom, and this is such a strong reminder that self-care isn't selfish, it's a gift to the people who count on us.

29:17 And remember, if you want to keep having the real conversations with other men committed to showing up fully in life, join us in the authentic AF community at realmenfield.org/group. It is free and it's where we can keep this conversation going. Until next time, be good to yourself.