Unleashing Your Soulful Power | The Power of Choice

0:00 Hello and welcome to real men field. I am your host author coach and healer Indy Grant. Please visit v&e great.com to learn more about that room and feel exist to remind men that they are human beings and they have the right to experience and express all of their emotions. We have the conversations that most men aren't having but that all men can benefit from while 2023 is still a very fresh year. I'm reminded of the opening of A Tale of Two Cities. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times it was Was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness. It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity. It was the season of light. It was the season of Darkness.

0:40 It was the spring of hope. It was the winter of Despair. We had everything before us. We had nothing before us. We were all going direct to heaven and were all going direct the other way. Now to me that can describe today, as well as when it was written in 1859. So I found myself wondering, you know, how might someone step? To serve the light to, to add to the wisdom, to create the best of times. My guest today is Christian Delaware. Te with 30 years of experience, Christian is a sought-after spiritual teacher, personal transformation coach, and leading voice in the breathwork community. He has traveled the world offering inspiring and transformative for treats, combining psychological and spiritual teachings, with lasting and life-changing effects.

1:24 His newest book, his newest book, Awakening the soul of power has won multiple Awards and was Bye. Grammy Award winner Gloria Estefan as a balm for the soul of anyone searching for truth and answers to Life's difficult questions. Welcome to real Midfield Christian and they thanks so much. Thanks for having me and wow. What a beautiful reading you started as out with? Yeah, I think everyone remembers, you know, best of times. The worst of times I went to look it up and make sure I'm like, oh, there's a whole wonderful paragraph but you know, since high school, I've forgotten. Yeah, me too me too. I've forgotten what a beautiful way. That's that begins. Yeah, and I feel like Again at the dawn of a new year, probably every year is like that, you have the opportunity to go both ways for the for the best or the worst to see the like to see the darkness and what I really like about your work and your message is that call to make the choice to decide for yourself to to add value, to the world, to be a hero to the world or not.

2:24 Is that is that accurate? Yeah, you know it's like it's that you reading resonated so much with me because I do believe that we're in those kind of really critical times, I believe we're like Make It or Break It times. The planet will be fine and might take several million years but life will continue. The planet will find homeostasis again, Consciousness will continue evolving, who knows? Maybe it turns out to be an enlightened cockroach Planet. Whether we make it, that's what we're beginning to face. We're just now beginning. Getting to witness and to experience, whatever it is that we have Unleashed on the environment of which covid is a symptom of our relationship to Nature. So, if anybody watching this has the slightest inkling, that the slightest suspicion that they have features as healers as activists and promoters of change. This is it?

3:21 This is the time that we've been waiting for. Yeah, cool. And so, you write a lot and speak a lot about Is no power and heroism, heroism. Have you always felt that that sense of your own heroic self? Oh my God, are you kidding me? I struggled with owning you know that word hero or even owning the word, a teacher. My adolescence was one long depression I know self-doubt, in fact, I know self-hatred and I also know how you can get out of it, right? Because that's flash-forward. Today I no matter what doesn't whether a project succeeds or fails and quotes, never ever. Ever do.

4:07 I question my sense of self. My self-worth is unshakeable and and so I know that, that, that can happen to me. It can happen in anybody. And that's part of what those my work is about is helping people to that level of empowerment and freedom. So you mentioned your child was, was just really a long depression and I know Your, you don't have a traditional childhood so tell me tell me a bit about your upbringing. I was born in Cuba and I lived, you know, and a Communist Regime for the first 10 years of my life. And so I always kind of felt like the outsider. I don't like something like, like, I didn't belong when we came to this state, we lived in Georgia, the rural Georgia the Milledgeville Georgia for the first three years. And I didn't speak a word of English. So really, you know, felt different really never felt that I belong there, either.

5:05 And an about a minute that your family applied for a visa to emigrate to leave. You were labeled gusano which means warm bike, even by the teachers in, you know, first second, third grade. And then once had finally learned English and had this Great Southern accent, we move back to Miami were, you know, went to a Jesuit High School, that was 90, probably 95% cuban-american. So I stood out again all over Because I sounded like a Georgia Peach. So yeah, I think that that theme of feeling different of feeling like the other has been prevalent in me all my life and challenging for sure going up and there's a lot of, you know, wisdom and value that comes from that from from feeling different from not belonging to me though it's all of it was part of what helped me become who I I am today. So today, how would you define heroism? You know, that's, that's how I start the book because like me, I know many people struggle with the word heroism. In fact, I had a couple of publishing, you know, writing Consultants is that.

6:20 No, don't don't put that word because people don't know what to do with that. And the reason for that is is because we it's really easy for us to project that outside and to honor, you know, heroism in somebody else like a like a warrior first. Van Der, you know, and even EMT fire firefighters, the pandemic I think helped us to expand that a little bit. So now most of us I think would include our Healthcare practitioners or doctors or nurses or respiratory therapist or really Place their lives at risk and I would even include in their grocery store clerks on delivery, people who had in the worst of it made a lot of sacrifices to keep that the rest of us fat and provided for it.

7:06 Taking care of and then the question becomes, well, what about the rest of us? And so, what I write in the in this book, it's like ways of living that are nothing less than heroic. So, so, for example, it's really easy to react and and big. When somebody says or does something that we interpreted as painful and to get them back and say, something back to them or take revenge on them, anybody can do that too. To take a pause to take a deep breath to feel that ouch and choose otherwise like, actually just bringing Choice back into the equation to me, as heroic, you know, to Splatter somebody against the wall, anybody can do that to take the high road. So it's a different story here to have to walk around rather than to be willing to dive deep inside. And to face or inner demons are our shadow stuff rather than going through life.

8:12 You know, just numbing out like most of us do and and self-medicating with substances and food and sex and gaming, and social media and workaholism. And all of the ways in which we are. So creatively numb out and run away from our feelings like, like you're like your podcast often talks about to be willing to To do that is to learn how to feel. Like if you would have asked me 30 years ago, you know what I was feeling, I had no idea I couldn't tell you because I had no idea and so to, you know, we've got this whole misunderstanding that to feel is weakness. And I think it's the other way around to look to know what we're feeling and to learn how to communicate those feelings responsibly like owning that there are feelings and nobody can make us feel anything. 2 & 2 in a way with courage, because it's always going to take courage to communicate that compassion in the moment.

9:13 And, and communicate them gracefully meaning in a way that the other person can hear it, not just dumping them like, a two-year-old, and pointing the finger and blaming them, which is only going to cause a shutdown on the other side, to me, that's nothing short of heroic. Yep. I agree. And I love that you said, you know, going inward because I certainly didn't realize this while I was growing up, but I've come to really realize an experience that the my greatest fears are in me. Like, it was easier to blame and look around and but that's the easy stuff. But yeah, it took a shitload of Courage, typically to look at my own personal darkness, and why am I so depressed?

9:53 And why do I think I'm better off dead? And it's all in us and our are darker Center. Light is in us and our heroic ISM and our Item is it's all inside of us and that's why I love all you saying that her heroism is really pausing and making that choice. Yes. Because we all do have that power to choose, always always, and to the intermediate also heroic, just to pop ourselves out of that old and boring react and regret cycle. Right? Because we react as somebody got, uh, somebody said something that was hurtful and so we get them back but what happens, you know, though, the the adrenaline does It's again, our letter was like later, we're like, oh my God, I can't believe I said that. That was so mean I did.

10:38 That's not what I really wanted to say and we cause harm to other people into our relationships and ultimately we don't really want to be that way, but it's the way that we've been conditioned and it's kind of what happens where as you know, when we suppress your emotions, what used to be spiritual teaching. That, that everything is energy. Now, we know from quantum physics, it's all energy. That includes the body. That includes the emotions. We know from physics to that energy cannot be destroyed. So all those times those countless times that we have stuffed our emotions that we have suppressed them because we didn't, we didn't feel safe because little boys, don't cry because we didn't want to be perceived as weakness, because we didn't want to rock the boat too much.

11:22 And so, we wanted to maintain that illusion of peace. That stuff doesn't go away. It gets it gets lodged in the tissues of the body. And what happens is that After years and Decades of suppressing, emotions of the lifetime. In some of our cases, we walk around with layers and layers and layers of repressed. Emotional crap, and unhealed past trauma. Which would then start projecting, we're trying to have a relationship in the present moment. In all of it is getting filtered through all that and he'll stuff. Like to me, it's amazing. It's mind-boggling that any relationships can work because we haven't been taught, like, how to hold them, how to approach him. And we haven't been taught about During our stuff so that we stopped, you know throwing it on each other's lap and yeah, go ahead.

12:11 I often say that yeah every emotion will be felt and if it's something we stuff it's got to come out sideways and distorted and in response to something that has nothing to do with the original trauma incident. Whatever, that feeling was yet, you decided you decided to suppress, so, right? And and especially for guys, you know, because you know what, I think is that I get into the book is have a chapter that that all about what it means to be a man. In the 21st century because this conflicted and build that relationship. We've had with power for the several units, thousand years of the patriarchy which is more power about hierarchy about my way or the highway Cowboy mentality. You know power over power related to fear fourth domination control.

12:57 I'm going to push you down and step on you. In order for me to feel powerful of course, women and The Feminine. Have have have paid a price for that. The feminine energies have have paid a price for that, but so have men. And so do men still like the to me. That's one of the reasons why the mortality rate is so different, like in the US, women outlive Men by five years globally, by seven years. And I think that part of the reason for that is because we've got this mistaken idea of what it means to be a man. And so we walk around like there's uncaring unfeeling. IRobot, and those energies have to come out, one way or the other.

13:38 So they start showing up as physical symptoms, as illness disease cancer, heart attacks all sir. And and it's part of the reason why we're so unhappy too because it's such a limited and limiting perspective and of what it means to be a man. So what, what is the healthiest most fulfilling way to express masculinity today? Hmm, that's a great question. That's, that's part of what. I, what I did in that chapter is, look at some of the traditional ways in which, you know, which we associate as traditional male roles and, and kind of update them redefine them for the 21st century. So, let's look at the one of them. The provider it was It's such a part of the identity for so many of us, as guys.

14:32 You know, I'm the one who brings home the bacon. But if we look at the numbers, I think the last numbers that I have of her 2017, I need to get the more recent figures but in 2017 in forty percent of heterosexual households in the US, the woman is it has higher income is bringing in more than the man. And 50% more than 50% of college graduates are now women. So we can see which way this is going for by men were being replaced by Robotics and computers and out sourced by, you know, to Global it by globalization. And so no wonder that so many men are having an identity crisis.

15:16 Know if I'm not the provider then who am I? And so no wonder that. So there's so many men who are having a crisis right now, I think that I was reading the couple of days ago eight million men in the US have just given up, they're not even trying to define a job when they're plenty of jobs available to be had and and no wonder that so many men are wanting to go back to the way that it was in the 50s is idealized version of of life in the 50s and so you notice it's like I look at that as like what about a different way of what it means to provide like that's it, are we really going to Fine ourselves as a man by the size of our paycheck.

16:00 It's like, wow, that's really limiting if that's what you think of yourself and your role in who you are as a human being, that's by by the size of your paycheck. Yikes. But so many of us do. And so, so for example, another way that we can express that. What about big providing for your family, for your household, for your loved ones, a safe environment, where psychologically emotionally, safe word, Where everybody can just Blossom and you know that that that role as The Rock and that out that's going to always going to have your back and then all of our kids, our family can just Blossom and explore with who they are and and that is priceless to be able to have that is priceless infinitely more valuable than the size of the contribution of a paycheck, right?

16:51 And they pointed out because I have never met anyone that talks about Their experiences as a child and their dad like, oh yeah, payday was the favorite need. Show us his check and we all celebrated, but it's all about, you know, being a provider of love, and joy. And that's what makes the positive memories and yes, it tight family, and, and can change the world for the better. Exactly, exactly. Well, the Explorer, you know, it's another traditional role of that men have played as the Explorer, and at least on this little planet, we're running. Running out of space, has two places to explore less. You go deep deep, deep into the ocean or far into outer space.

17:32 But what about exploring yourself in? What about what you were just talking about the, you know, being willing to die, then an Explorer like to have to face our shadow, to face our fears face or inner demons that is heroic. That is the stuff of Heroes. And let me know if you're seeing this, I'm seeing more men doing that and younger and Younger. Like the the yes the newest generation seem willing to dive in at much earlier ages and then I really gives me hope for everything so you speak about Soulful power often. So could you define Soulful power? Yeah, and let me zoom out a little bit to talk a little bit about talk a little bit more about to set the context for it. I think most of us have an ambivalent, and I would even say conflicted relationship to power part of us wants it part of us is afraid of it.

18:25 And I think, you know, the more that I dive into this and Retreats and with coaching clients, I think what we fear that if we really stepped into our power, into all of who we are, that other people might not be able to accept to do handle it and that we might end up rejected alone and who wants that? I think we also fear that we might abuse it and no wonder how many times throughout our lives. Have we witnessed and experienced abuses of power. And then on top of that we've been corrupted we've been Stand conditioned to believe that powers bad that power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts, absolutely and what good-hearted person wants to be corrupted. So when you add to the mix, the fact that we have also been conditioned that the emotions and feelings are bad and weakness.

19:14 We hate conflict. We avoid confrontation. What happens is that we end up giving away our power. We end up selling out on our our innate Inherent power that nobody can give to us. Nobody can take away. We are the only ones who give it away. And what I find most tragic about that is the reasons for which we give it away. So how many times have we said? Yes, when inside, we really feel no like inside, it's really not. Okay. With us, but we settle for that. Illusion of Peace for an illusion of acceptance, a false sense of security and and we settle for morsels crumbs.

19:55 Of pseudo love. So I don't think it's a very healthy and effective strategy to give away our power. So part of the part of the journey than to beginning to reclaim our power is realizing that there's different types. So I talked about worldly power, the way that the world relates to power or EGO power the way that that ego part of us, expresses power in the world which is that more that hierarchical power over approach. Which and I can contrast that to soulful power, which is to me, call it spiritual power, in our power, authentic power, whatever you want to call it. It's so there are key differences. So, for example, a few of them worldly power is all about externals.

20:41 So we tend to associate power with people who have money, Fame, who are high up in some kind of hierarchy, whether it's the corporate ladder or some other kind of structure to think about all those kinds of Power. Is that because they're outside of us? They're fickle here. Today, gone tomorrow. So contract contrasting, that with the inner power, which like I was saying before, is like, it's there nobody. Nobody can give it to us. And we are the only ones who give it away. Nobody can really take it away from us. The worldly power is all about agenda, so it's always trying to get something for itself and it's always going to prove how big and powerful it is. So it's all about facades and being perceived as whereas Soulful power.

21:36 It's humble, like, it doesn't need to prove anything to anybody. It knows that the how much power it has. And it doesn't need to doesn't need validation by anybody, it's internally referenced internally validated. So, I think about Gandhi or Gandalf, if you, if you're until the Lord of the Rings in their simple monastic, robes, their sandaled feet from looking at him. You'd never know how much power they hold but when it's Needed, get out of the way if we think about it, Gandhi, brought the British Empire to its knees. When it was at its highest point in terms of global inflows and Global reach without ever shooting a gun or Landing a single punch that's power. And we all have access to that Beyond taking an Empire down. What what are more practical realistic you know? Down-to-earth your individual What are some examples of being in that Soulful power place?

22:39 Oh my God. You it's what? I was just saying before like not needing getting to that place where you no longer need anyone's approval or validation, that that's powerful. That's having your being in your personal agency. Self-sufficiency, not that you, we don't have other relationships that are deeply meaningful, but we're not needing anybody's approval of validation, which is incredibly empowering. You to be able to navigate power struggles. I said, rather than the way that we most of us have done it, which is all of this stuff gets subconscious. We're projecting on each other, all of our self, doubts and not feeling good enough. The I'm not worthy but we don't want to face that stuff. So we overcompensate for those things because they're too uncomfortable to look at.

23:28 And so then we get caught up in EGO egoic power struggles. Like, you know, I say this you say that I said, You said are booming, Just One of Us explodes and then we cause harm to our relationships. So by understanding, by being willing, to go inside and understand why we do the things we do, what are our triggers? What are our patterns? Why do certain people trigger me where certain type of relationships? Trigger, me and Trigger my mud, my self-doubt, or my insecurities by being willing to do that, we can do something about it because we can't do anything about what. We can't see. And and one As we begin to do that healing work. And that work of realizing he's like, wait a minute.

24:08 All those feelings of not feeling, good of an adequacy that there's something wrong with me. They're just misunderstandings of a young mind that didn't know any better incredibly empowering incredibly liberating. And then, you know, we have relationships that work better because we can stand in our power, not threatened by anybody else's power. So we don't have to get it stuck in those in those power. Rules with very healthy boundaries, very clear boundaries. We know what works for us, what doesn't work for us. If we need to we take a stand for ourselves but we don't have to walk around with those those those layers and layers of armor. That may have served at some point in our lives. But now they're just keeping those in that prison and we walk around especially as guys like in his huge arms thinking that that that's powerful, that's not powerful. That's prison.

25:05 All right, we walk around in Defcon 1, just waiting for the next shoe to drop waiting for the next attack sometimes, sneaking in the first punch, just in case that what a way to live, right? If we think about it, this relationship to life. It's much more powerful because I'm coming from a place that I know that. Hey, life, Come at me. Whatever you throw at me. I got this right. So they got, this is resilience and bravery and the courage to go within. So, yes. Is there any ideal first step to help someone make that, that start to make that switch from the egoic power to more in touch with their soul? Yeah, I mean we're doing it right now.

25:45 First part is understanding that you know what we've been doing in our misunderstandings so it and it's to go back to what we're talking about earlier, go within. That's the first step. Being self-aware because again, we can't do anything if we're not aware of what we're doing. So figuring out why we do the things. We do, see ya with without awareness, nothing can change. So that, whenever whenever effect with clients and they realize, oh, I did that in like, oh, celebrate that you noticed, something in the past, you were just unconsciously doing those things. That now you don't like. So that's, that's a win. It's a total win is definite progress and in your own experience.

26:27 Was this that whether the journaling meditation like, what helped you go within when you first realize something, something's off and I want to do something about it. Well, I've always been kind of introspective more of an introvert, which, you know, there's there's a book called The introvert advantage. And from current perspective, I see that now because I was asking, you know, difficult challenging About myself at an early age. So I kind of had a head start and that area in terms of practices, the one that really changed, my life was breath, work. And we don't have time to really get into breathwork here. It's a, it's a, it's a large umbrella term, there's deep breathing practices and breathing breathing techniques that have a lot of benefits.

27:18 The type of breath work that I'm doing is you breathe in a certain way, just circular connected way for about an hour, an hour and a half and I'm amazing shit. Happens in my dad was a psychiatrist. My degrees in Psychology. I was gonna I was on a track to get a PhD in Psychology. And when I discovered breath work, after my first session, I jump tracks, I never went for the PHD, because it works so fast and heals so profoundly in so many ways. 30 years later, I've yet to come across anything that, that heals past trauma as effectively, and as quickly. And in, Many levels. Yeah, I think nine times I've done holotropic breathwork. Hmm.

28:02 Which very similar if not the exact thing your time about do is 90 minutes to two hour long. And yeah, the first time I did it, I was just completely blown away and it was the, it was the first time. So I've attempted suicide multiple times and his breath work session. I finally mourned it. Hmm. Like I was in tears, I like mourned and recognized that I had survived attempted murder and then I was the attempting to murder myself. And the next day I sent a bouquet of flowers, a bouquet of roses to my mother and to my father and to myself as just nothing something some sort of action in but is like that's really started and I couldn't more knit and I could grieve it. And in the breadth of experience I was I was tasting the highs of life and just having an amazing time. And then they would crash because I tried to throw this away.

28:54 Like, it was just up and it was the most, by Pollux means ever had. But it was also incredibly Ling. And yeah, funded. This are each of our own inner healer in her wisdom, comes out, and breath work somehow, and, and Susan the heels. So, yeah, it's amazing how it works. And thank you, by the way, for so much for sharing that. It's so moving that Visual and I was so, sorry, that day, I totally relate, I never tried, but I certainly had the fantasy throughout my entire adolescence. So I my heart goes out to you and And celebrate with you that you breathed your way out of that. And it is only one big thing about awareness. Once I was willing to be wrong about everything. I thought was right.

29:42 That's what open a door for me. Yeah, so it was yeah, and so many men, like it's more important to be right than be happy. And we, that's totally reversed which, by the way, goes back to the ego, that's one of the functions of the egos. One of the shenanigans of the egos, did it thinks that it's right, always. And in like you're pointing to is like even if we are right who cares like said we so much of our identity is tied into beer being right is like what is that? What is that? To me, that's part of that symptom of overcompensating Because deep deep deep down inside, we don't feel good enough. So we attach on, hold on to more superficial expressions like being, right? And that's going to give me meaning. And then when somebody challenges that that I take it as a challenge to the to my very Foundation of my deepest identity.

30:29 It's like no man you just it's okay to be wrong once in a while. There's I mean anything about you so again kind of mixed up in all of Of this, this notion of mass and want to be, right? And when we first spoke, you would shared an experience of self-sabotage in high school and I had done very similar the same thing. So might you tell us a little bit about that. Yeah. You know, one of the things about being an introvert was that I was a good student and especially coming to a different country, a country, which I didn't speak the language. I and haven't been raised in Cuba where we had a TV but there was nothing worth Watching I grew up reading. So I had a Annie's with learning had a propensity for learning so I had a 4.0 in high school except for one be my last semester.

31:25 I know that was the next-to-last up some of the semester and as a senior and I didn't set out to do this consciously, but looking back on it, I know I don't have the slightest doubt that I sabotage my GPA because it was a self guided study. All had to do is read a book and do a book report which I've done a ton of but I turned it in late and that was enough for me to get a b instead of an A and that was enough for me to get to knock me out of the running, to be the valedictorian because there is No, freaking way that I could have gotten up then in front of an auditorium filled with hundreds and hundreds of people and speak. There's no way. No way I could have done that and Flash Forward, you know.

32:06 Now I speak all over the world. Yeah. Speaking of dozens and dozens of universities and conferences and on the tedx stage. So I know from personal experience in my cells at all this stuff, all these fears that we have allowed to hold those back, that all can be healed. All can be transcended. Yeah, yeah, fact that the things that I've been most fearful of and terrified of the longest are the things I need to do and then just make life better. And I used to I dropped out of college to avoid a mandatory public speaking class. I just stopped stopped going went from, he's two F's and was incomplete and kicked out was like oh thank God as all to avoid a class.

32:48 That was afraid of and in high school, Midway through senior year, the class rankings came out Out and I was third in my class was like, what the fuck, how can this be? Like I was I was in the advanced classes but I was not trying their other ones trying to get valid to him, trying to do this and doing things for the college applications and I was depressed and miserable and I didn't realize till later how afraid I was. So I was afraid to go to college and be discovered as a fraud. I thought I was ranked third in my class because I was just the chief idiot in a sea of morons and I do just, that was it. I was just like the third-ranked of of this town of idiots. That's How I see it again. Blame everybody else because I couldn't accept what, you know what I thought of myself, well, right.

33:31 But that's, yeah, I consciously tried to flunk out of high school, so, I would not graduate, that's amazing, amazing. The things we do, and most of it not even consciously at to me, that the saddest part, I didn't do this, I didn't set out to do this, and you didn't set out to do this. We were just being driven by Under the surface. We weren't even aware of the deep-seated. Deep-rooted feelings of lack of self-love and like that imposter syndrome that if they really knew me they would see how how stupid I am or how filling the blank I am and all of it, all of it. That's the try to tragic part. All of it is just a misunderstanding and it's all fixable malleable changeable.

34:15 Yes. Yeah. Because even the, the man who insists are not feeling it denying. Emotions I find that they are living in the most fear. Because it's fear in one thinking that they have a heart that they feel that they're saw that they might even cry. It's fear of anyone, knowing their truth. That keeps them living a lie. Yeah, it's hard. I think that I think it's. Yeah. I think it's another aspect of that is you know that we think that a to show feelings is feminine because little boys don't cry. Well way is that because only two little girls cries like wait a minute. Let's let's look at that because there's so many does this some faulty premises in that one? Is that the emotions are we? Weakness. It's like, wait a minute. Emotions are not weakness, they're not strength either. They're not, they're not good.

34:58 They're not bad. They're Just Energy. Depending on how we express them to have a good or not. So good effect but the, the emotion itself is just an energy. And then that the that the assumption that the feminine is weaknesses, like wait a minute. You want to tug our courage resilience ability to withstand pain. Let's talk about the power of creation that resides in a female body and I think of the story of, you know, from Betty White him who left his in the be about a year ago and in our unique way I think she's so the story goes something like this. She was being interviewed in one of those. One of those TV shows with multiple celebrities so it was a discussion going on and somebody said something about having balls and she goes, wait, just a minute. Would we get this Association that with balls and having courage or strength?

35:53 You know you thought those little things and the guy collapses bends over in severe pain you want to talk courage, you want to talk strength. Let's talk about China's those things. Take a pounding. Yeah, it's going to be all that, but it's so true and just shows like how far back are distorted thinking goes and what we've been taught. And again, that's going back to the generations. I'm seeing younger than ours, they're waking up. They're recognizing these falsehoods much quicker. Yes. So again, I really backed up the best of times. The worst of times, we really are at the love, the potential for this dawn of a new time for, for all humans.

36:34 And Men, especially to be able to lead the way from A Soulful. Not in the Golic one, not a power over things but it is a powerful ability to to open up. That's right behind it with I guess I'm in my power. Why would I possibly be threatened by you being in your power? I can celebrate that. I can share that. I can honor that sec. I know who I am. I can handle whatever you throw my way. So Awakening the solar power. You say it's book one in a calling all heroes series, correct. Can you give any teasers about what's to come? What What you have in plan as to which I just committed. I just facilitated many years and years, virtual Retreat. And I committed to finish book tour this year about 50% done.

37:18 And, because writing is what? I resist the most, what I procrastinate on the most buttery, but I made the commitment and I'm recommitting here publicly. So, that one is on relationships, like, how to do relationships consciously. And I think, because most of us, that's the area where we give away our power. And, and the book is about Relationships that is going to have a particular focus on romantic intimate relationships. And so how did what does it mean to have them consciously? And so if you are in relationship and you've got the basic human needs for love and sex and companionship, and family and all that good stuff. Then what how do we use that container of the relationship to fast-track our own process of healing and transformation? Which is what we're here for ultimately I hope it everybody listening to listening to this or watching this now knows that there.

38:12 Isn't anybody out there who's going to make us happy? Not going to happen and it's not their job to if that's how we're approaching relationship, you're going to make me happy. Forget it, hang it up. It's not going to happen and how unfair to put that responsibility on somebody else, not even fair. So only we can make ourselves happy obviously. And and so then how do if you're not a relationship and would like to be how do we identify and remove release the subconscious patterns that have a sabotaging, our relationship, Ships sometimes. Before they get go by attracting people by Falling for people who are not a match, who are not available there already with somebody else or they live on the other side of the world or they're just not there. So what's going on with that?

39:02 You know why? If we say we want relationship, why do we end up doing this? Hmm, you know, like career but not too close, right? And so we look at what's going on under the surface so that we can clear. Are those subconscious patterns and, and stop blocking love in our lives. I love the work. You're doing powerful conversation. It's a powerful book. I highly recommend it. I highly recommend people experience breath work because when I first experienced that I thought, you know, if we brought this to high schools drug use would stop because the power to have these amazing experiences and visualizations and you know, just just have the trippy as experience I ever had came from my own breath and that just continues to amaze me.

39:46 Yes. But Christian, what's the best way for people to learn more about about you and and the book and everything you've got going on? Well, if they want to find out more about breathwork, my tedx talk is on the power of the breath. So just Google the power of the breath. Oh look it up on YouTube. In terms of the book is available wherever you want to wherever books are sold. So if you want your not support, your local bookstore, order it there. If you want to, if not, you just get it on Amazon or any of those online websites, that sell books. In terms of reaching me, probably my website is the best way to do that. And once they go there, they can access my Social. Via the website is Soulful, power.com sou, LF you elle.com, I mean power.com and then for for your audience, anybody who goes and gets on my email list and we know how easy it is to click unsubscribe. If it doesn't work for you down the road, but anybody who gets on our email list, will send them, a sample sample, chapter of the book, and it happens to be the one that that talks about what it means to live heroically in the 21st century. So, Back to your very first question will send them some power practices, so designed to integrate the teaching. So they don't stay at the level of information because we don't need more information.

41:04 We've got information overload. What we need is transformation and that only comes from really, applying and living from a set of teachings and then we'll send them a meditation. I did a short teaching and I got a meditation on how to find trust how to move to a place of trust. During these times in which we live of chaos and fear and uncertainty. Well, thanks again so much Christian for sharing what trip to with us getting the book out there, sharing your life experiences because you're exactly the kind of man, I love to talk to on real Midfield, a man willing to share what he's gone through and then share how he's being of service to the world and we all have the potential to be of service to the world and it starts with serving yourself without a doubt.

41:53 Yeah, so get out of here into your soul. Awesome. Thanks again for joining us. Thanks very much for listening. Wherever you're discovering real men, feel please do all the things. The platform allows you to do. Like, follow subscribe, share, comment, whatever it is, you can do there. We appreciate the support. You can always reach out to me at real men. Feel at gmail.com, always glad to hear from you. And until next time, be good to yourself, love yourself and be willing to be the hero in your life.