From Marine to Somatic Intimacy Guide: Andre Lazarus on Presence, Shame, and Real Connection | Real Men Feel
Andy Grant interviews Andre Lazarus, a former US Marine turned somatic intimacy guide and surrogate partner therapist featured on the UK series Virgin Island. Andre shares how his path from the military to intimacy work shaped his views on courage, masculinity, and vulnerability, and describes unlearning cultural myths that men shouldn’t show emotion. He explains somatic work as healing through the body—breath, touch, and nervous system regulation—especially when talk therapy isn’t enough for physical or sexual trauma.
The conversation explores men’s common intimacy struggles like performance anxiety, erectile concerns, rapid ejaculation, disconnection, and the lack of sex and emotional education, emphasizing simple practices like breathing and honest communication. Andre discusses why young men are drawn to the manosphere, his role in surrogate partner therapy, and reminds listeners that it’s never too late to grow.
00:00 Surrogate Therapy Explained
00:43 Meet Andre Lazarus
01:32 From Marines to Intimacy
03:28 Masculinity and Unlearning
07:35 Vulnerability Myths
09:13 Manosphere Pull Explained
14:34 Somatics Defined
16:18 Men’s Hidden Intimacy Struggles
20:45 Breath as First Practice
24:03 Healing Father Wounds
27:05 Virgin Island and Surrogacy
29:57 Going Public With the Work
32:42 Boundaries With Clients
34:33 Never Too Late to Grow
36:01 Connect With Andre
37:39 Final Takeaways on Presence
Connect with Andre
Andre Lazarus — https://coming-closer.com/
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre/
Highlights of Virgin Island — https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbnU9iq6kGBFORNkmpVkNhQ6KoZVkf04T
Connect with Andy:
Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel
#RealMenFeel ep 406
In this powerful presentation, Andre Lazarus discusses the nuances of “verbal communication” and its profound impact on personal and professional interactions. He shares actionable strategies for developing “good communication skills” that resonate with any audience. This “ted talk” is a must-watch for anyone looking to master the art of “effective communication” and improve their overall “communication skills.”
