Sept. 23, 2022

What About Trans Men? | Who Is Real Men Feel For?

Real Men Feel reminds you that men are human beings and are entitled to feel and express the full range of emotions. I'm going to emphasize that more today, thanks to an email I received last week.

"About 3-4 years ago, I came out as a trans man. I deal with a lot of imposter syndrome when it comes to my identity. Whenever I hear the name of your podcast, it makes me cringe a little because I don't see myself as a "real" man. It makes me feel like this is advice that isn't for me. ...does the advice you give count for trans men as well as cis men?"

Nobody has asked me this question, but I have wondered. If you don't know, cis is short for cisgender, which means a person whose gender identity corresponds to their sex assigned at birth.

For the first couple of years, I co-hosted Real Men Feel with Appio Hunter, a gay male friend. I thought that would cover more ground, but there was rarely different advice, issues, or topics for gay vs. straight men.

I don't recall any episode specifically about trans men, but I have often said that if you consider yourself a man, anything you do is, by definition, manly. If you see yourself as a man, Real Men do whatever you do.

I know guys with ED, others who have been paralyzed below the waist, and others who battled testicular cancer and had one of their balls removed. I don't consider any of them to be less than, or non-men, or people who can no longer listen to this podcast.

I talk to so many men dealing with imposter syndrome that I'd say having it is more proof of your manliness, not less.

It took me years to be comfortable with the title, even though I named the show. There are so many sayings, memes, etc. about Real Men this, Real Men that... ALL of them pissed me off. So the title is a play on that.

But also, the "real" of Real Men Feel means genuine, authentic, and true to yourself. All of that is up to you. No committee, organization, or individual decides whether you are a man or not, except for you.

So, is the advice I give only for cis men?

From my perspective, no. I would suggest more critical than "is the advice meant for this group or that group," ask, "Do I resonate with this?"

If you are a trans man and want to share a bit of your experience on Real Men Feel, I'd be honored to have you. Reach out to me at realmenfeel@gmail.com.

Wherever you are discovering the Real Men Feel - I invite you to subscribe, follow, like, share, post a comment, and all that fun stuff.

If you want to explore what life might be like for you with more authenticity and vulnerability, book a free Clarify Call with me - visit theandygrant.com/talk

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant
Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!
YouTube | youtube.com/realmenfeel

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Hello and welcome to real men.
Feel I am your host, Andy Grant.

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I'm an author coach healer and
speaker, you can visit the Andy

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Grant.com to learn more about
all those things that I'm up to

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reopen.
Feel exists to remind you.

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That men are human beings and we
are entitled to feel and express

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the full range of emotions.
I'm going to emphasize that even

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more today.
Thanks to an email that I

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received last week.
In part, it said about three to

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four years ago.
I came out as a trans man, I

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deal with a lot of imposter
syndrome when it comes to my

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identity, whenever I hear the
name of your podcast, it makes

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me cringe a little because I
don't see myself as a

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quote-unquote, real man, it
makes me feel like this is

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advice that isn't for me.
So, does the advice you give

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count for Trans men, as well as
sis men?

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Nobody is asking me this
question before but it is

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something that I have wondered.
For the first couple of years of

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real men feel I co-hosted the
show with optio Hunter a gay

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male friend of mine.
I thought that one of us being

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straight and one gay would
somehow cover more ground that

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but you know, honestly there was
rarely different advice issues

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or topics for Gay versus
straight men.

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Now I don't recall any episode
specifically about trans men but

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I know that I have often said
that if you consider yourself to

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be a man, Then anything you do
is by definition manly.

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If you see yourself as a man,
then real men, do whatever you

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do.
I know guys that have Ed

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erectile dysfunction others who
have been paralyzed from the

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waist down and, and the neck
down other guys that have

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battled testicular, cancer and
have lost one of their balls,

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right?
As testicle has been removed.

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I don't consider any of them to
be less than.

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I don't consider them as non
men, right?

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They're not people that can no
longer listen to this podcast.

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Biology alone is not the way to
identify, what a man is.

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I also told the emailer that I
talk to so many men about

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imposter syndrome that I'd say
having it is more proof of your

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manliness not less. it also took
me years to be comfortable with

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the title of this show even
though I named it, There is so

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many sayings and memes, Etc,
about real men.

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This and real men, that all of
them pissed me off.

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So, the title is a bit of a play
on that, but also the Rio of

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real men, feel it means genuine
authentic, and being true to

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yourself.
All of that is up to you which I

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think is a good thing.
There's no committee

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organization or individual
deciding whether you are a man

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or not.
It's you.

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You are the best judge of
yourself but often we as human

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beings, are the worst judges of
ourselves because we are so

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harsh.
So is the advice I give on real

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men?
Feel only for sis men.

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From my perspective.
No, real men feel reminds men

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that they are human.
Most of the advice on this show

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is for all human beings.
I hear from many female

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listeners, who, tell me that
they get a lot from the show.

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My intention is to help people.
The end.

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I'm really not concerned with
identity gender, biology labels

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of any sort.
But I see that advice is

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subjective, so I would suggest
more critical than is this

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advice meant for this group or
that group?

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The thing to ask is, do I
resonate with this?

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If you resonate with something,
it's for you if something

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inspires you prompts you to take
action or makes you think it is

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for you?
Even if something pisses you

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off, triggers, you and makes you
think.

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I'd say that is for you as well.
You know, I want to share one

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response from one of the guys I
posed this.

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I shared this question with guys
in the private, real men feel

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group on Facebook.
He said, I know nothing about

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the psyche of anyone going
through transition to either

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gender, but much of what men
feel are expected to feel is

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begun and formed in childhood.
So someone transitioning, to

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female still has this second.
Someone transitioning to mail,

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is going to encounter
expectations, once they are

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male.
Or close to that point.

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So much like the man who wrote
that, what I just shared I know

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nothing about what it is like to
be trans.

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I do know that I struggled a lot
growing up with doubting myself

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questioning, my worth.
My value trying to fit in, with

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this group, that group, any
group, not being, sure of who I

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was, but none of that was about
my gender.

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You know?
I questioned whether I should

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exist.
I questioned.

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I thought maybe if I was born in
different time, If I had to just

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fight for survival, I would
things would be easier.

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I would that would do it.
I wouldn't have time to just

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think so much but none of that
was about.

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Am I am I really Mail Right am?
I, should I be female?

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And again, I just can't imagine
that.

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So I would never speak to that.
I would never judge that.

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That's that's just another level
of Hell upon anyone growing up

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these days and it's I get
imagine just, it's just rough.

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So No, this we're not.
I am not out to exclude anyone

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that is listening.
And if you get something from

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this beautiful, this is for you.
That's it.

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So with that, if you are a trans
man and you want to share a bit

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of your experience on real men,
feel I would be honored to have

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you.
You can reach out to me at real

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men, feel at gmail.com and
wherever you are discovering

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that real men do indeed feel I
invite you to subscribe.

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Follow.
Like, share post a comment and

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all that fun stuff.
If you want to explore, what

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life might be like with more
authenticity and vulnerability,

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and increase your ability to be
yourself.

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Please visit v&e Grant.com, talk
and schedule a free Clarity call

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with me.
Until next time.

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Be good to yourself.
And, yes, this is for you.

Andy Grant Profile Photo

Author / Teacher / Coach / Healer

Andy Grant is a best-selling author, speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, healer, and suicide prevention activist. As the host of the award-winning Real Men Feel podcast, he champions emotional well-being and encourages men to step out of the β€œemotional closet.”
Andy holds certifications in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Life Activation, and multiple energy healing modalities. Known as The King of Authenticity, he founded Real Men Feel in 2016, fostering a movement that redefines masculinity through openness and vulnerability.
An Initiate, Certified Healer, Teacher, and Ritual Master with the Modern Mystery School, Andy has dedicated his life to helping people in emotional pain rediscover the magnificence of life. His training includes work with renowned teachers such as Mike Dooley, Brendon Burchard, Bill Harris, Genpo Roshi, David Morelli, Margaret Lynch, Linda Howe, Tal Ben-Shahar, Karen Paolino-Correia, and Christie Marie Sheldon.