Understanding Narcissism: Beyond the Buzzwords

Understanding Narcissism: Beyond the Buzzwords

Understanding Narcissism: Beyond the Buzzwords Ep 372, September 26, 2025

Unpacking Narcissism

In this episode of Real Men Feel, hosted by Andy Grant, therapist and author Sterlin Mosley discusses the topic of narcissism, a term often misunderstood and misused. They explore what narcissism truly means, its different types, and how it manifests in both men and women. Mosley explains the characteristics of narcissism, the difference between clinical and everyday narcissism, and how social and cultural factors contribute to its development.

The conversation also dives into red flags for identifying narcissism in relationships, the potential for narcissists to change, and the impact of masculinity on narcissistic traits. Mosley details his new book 'Center of the Universe,' which examines the broader cultural implications of narcissism. Resources and advice for those recognizing narcissistic behaviors in themselves or others are also provided.

Getting to the Root of Narcissism

Narcissism is a term that's been thrown around a lot but is often misinterpreted. Sterlin explains that narcissism is characterized by a lifelong pattern of empathy deficits, coupled with an excessive focus on one's own needs and emotions. This doesn't mean narcissistic individuals don't feel; rather, they have difficulty extending empathy towards others. Clinically, narcissism is actually rare due to low diagnosis rates, as most narcissists don't believe they have a problem. Everyday narcissism, however, is what most of us encounter, with its roots in self-focus and a lack of vulnerability.

Narcissism vs. Self-Confidence
A common confusion lies in differentiating healthy self-confidence from narcissism. According to Sterlin, what sets narcissists apart is the chronic need to protect a fragile ego, resulting in an emotional armor that detaches them from themselves and others. While healthy self-confidence embraces vulnerability, narcissism rejects it, focusing instead on an impenetrable facade.
Gender Differences in Narcissism
Sterlin explores how narcissism manifests differently in men and women due to societal expectations. In Western culture, traditional masculinity often aligns with narcissistic traits, allowing male narcissists to be more overt. Women, on the other hand, may adopt more subdued narcissistic behaviors, sometimes assuming roles that mask their narcissism as nurturing or benevolent.
Identifying Narcissistic Relationships
A critical part of the discussion is recognizing narcissistic traits in relationships—romantic, familial, or professional. Red flags include persistent manipulation, gaslighting, control over personal choices, and a lack of empathy. Sterlin notes that men, in particular, may struggle to identify themselves as victims of narcissistic relationships due to societal stigma around male vulnerability.
Can Narcissism Change?
While changing a deeply ingrained narcissistic personality is challenging, Sterlin asserts that narcissists can learn new interpersonal strategies if motivated by external pressures. This often requires significant personal losses or life challenges to drive them towards self-awareness, though change is slow and complex.
Narcissism in Culture
In discussing his books, Sterlin highlights how narcissism transcends individual relationships, impacting cultural dynamics, particularly in an era where social media amplifies narcissistic tendencies. The entitlement culture, fostered by platforms that reward exposure and notoriety, contributes to a society where narcissistic traits are increasingly normalized.
Empowerment Through Awareness
The podcast concludes with a call to action: fostering self-awareness and empathy, as Sterlin emphasizes the strength in vulnerability. For those troubled by narcissistic tendencies in themselves or others, recognition is the first step toward healing.
For more insights on masculinity, emotions, and healing, listeners are encouraged to join the Authentic AF community. This episode of "Real Men Feel" reminds us that personal growth begins with conscious awareness—whether it's recognizing narcissism in others or daring to see it within ourselves. Until next time, be good to yourself.

#RealMenFeel

Conclusion

For further connections and discussions, listeners are encouraged to join the Authentic AF Community at realmenfeel.org/group, where men can share and support one another.

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Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group

Resources
Center of the Universe: Transforming the 27 Types of Narcissism from the Inside Out — https://amzn.to/483i1Hp
The Narcissist in You and Everyone Else: Recognizing the 27 Types of Narcissism — https://amzn.to/3KfxBWG

Understanding Narcissism: Beyond the Buzzwords - ep 372 with guest, Sterlin Mosley

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