What About Trans Men? | Who Is Real Men Feel For?

Real Men Feel reminds you that men are human beings and are entitled to feel and express the full range of emotions. I'm going to emphasize that more today, thanks to an email I received last week.

"About 3-4 years ago, I came out as a trans man. I deal with a lot of imposter syndrome when it comes to my identity. Whenever I hear the name of your podcast, it makes me cringe a little because I don't see myself as a "real" man. It makes me feel like this is advice that isn't for me. ...does the advice you give count for trans men as well as cis men?"

Nobody has asked me this question, but I have wondered. If you don't know, cis is short for cisgender, which means a person whose gender identity corresponds to their sex assigned at birth.

For the first couple of years, I co-hosted Real Men Feel with Appio Hunter, a gay male friend. I thought that would cover more ground, but there was rarely different advice, issues, or topics for gay vs. straight men.

I don't recall any episode specifically about trans men, but I have often said that if you consider yourself a man, anything you do is, by definition, manly. If you see yourself as a man, Real Men do whatever you do.

I know guys with ED, others who have been paralyzed below the waist, and others who battled testicular cancer and had one of their balls removed. I don't consider any of them to be less than, or non-men, or people who can no longer listen to this podcast.

I talk to so many men dealing with imposter syndrome that I'd say having it is more proof of your manliness, not less.

It took me years to be comfortable with the title, even though I named the show. There are so many sayings, memes, etc. about Real Men this, Real Men that... ALL of them pissed me off. So the title is a play on that.

But also, the "real" of Real Men Feel means genuine, authentic, and true to yourself. All of that is up to you. No committee, organization, or individual decides whether you are a man or not, except for you.

So, is the advice I give only for cis men?

From my perspective, no. I would suggest more critical than "is the advice meant for this group or that group," ask, "Do I resonate with this?"

If you are a trans man and want to share a bit of your experience on Real Men Feel, I'd be honored to have you. Reach out to me at realmenfeel@gmail.com.

Wherever you are discovering the Real Men Feel - I invite you to subscribe, follow, like, share, post a comment, and all that fun stuff.

If you want to explore what life might be like for you with more authenticity and vulnerability, book a free Clarify Call with me - visit theandygrant.com/talk

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