Real Men Feel: Ep. 344, Breaking the Silence: Male Victims of Domestic Violence and The Legal System

Breaking the Silence: Male Victims of Domestic Violence and The Legal System Episode 344, March 14, 2025

Surviving Abuse: Patrick Leary’s Four-Year Legal Battle and Advocacy for Male Victims

Summary:
In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant interviews Patrick Leary, a college professor and domestic violence survivor. Patrick shares his harrowing four-year experience with false charges, his struggles within the legal system, maintaining hope, and advocating for male victims of domestic abuse.

Introduction
Welcome to today’s blog post inspired by an enlightening episode of “Real Men Feel,” hosted by Andy Grant. This episode sheds light on a topic often shrouded in silence—male victims of domestic abuse. With guest Patrick Leary, a college professor and founder of Clutch Coaching LLC, we delve into his harrowing four-year journey through an unjust legal battle resulting from a toxic relationship.

Understanding The Issue
In a world where the focus predominantly revolves around female victims of abuse, it’s crucial to remember that domestic violence doesn’t discriminate based on gender. Men, too, can find themselves on the receiving end of abuse, often facing skepticism and stigma when they break their silence.

Patrick Leary’s Story
Patrick Leary is not only a professional devoted to supporting student-athletes but also a victim and survivor of domestic violence. His relationship with his partner turned abusive, eventually leading to numerous false legal charges against him.

The Beginning of the Nightmare
Patrick’s ordeal began when his partner physically and mentally abused him, an experience foreign to his upbringing, where no hint of violence ever existed. Initially, Patrick responded with compassion, seeking help for his partner rather than himself, a decision he later reflected on with profound insight.

False Accusations and Legal Battles
The turning point came when Patrick’s partner extended her abusive behavior to their children. This forced him to call 911—a decision he wished would bring relief. Instead, he faced arrest due to false allegations and a cunning manipulation of the legal system by his partner, who even resorted to self-harm to incriminate him.

Struggling Against the System
Patrick’s story is a glaring example of how the system can be manipulated, leaving an innocent man with multiple charges and misconceptions to fight against. Throughout this nightmare, Patrick maintained his innocence, finding solace only in his ability to document the abuse and build a case for his defense.

Resilience in the Face of Adversity
Despite being surrounded by seemingly insurmountable challenges, including losing his job and freedoms, Patrick’s tenacity and support system kept him motivated. He leaned heavily on his family, friends, and his inherent perseverance to navigate through his trials and maintain his dignity.

Support and Recovery
Interestingly, Patrick found camaraderie and understanding in a men’s group, which challenged the prevailing bias that only women fall victim to domestic abuse. Such communal support proved paramount, reminding him he was not alone in his experiences.

A Transformed Outlook
Patrick’s story is one of resilience and transformation. While he experienced severe setbacks, his story isn’t one of revenge, but of education and prevention. Through his work and this interview, Patrick aims to illuminate the flaws within the legal system and societal preconceptions, providing a voice to those silenced by similar circumstances.

Conclusion
Patrick Leary’s candid conversation with Andy Grant serves as a powerful reminder that anyone can be a target of abuse. The path through such adversity demands courage and tenacity to seek help and reclaim one’s life afterward. Patrick hopes sharing his story will spark dialogue, inspire changes within the system, and empower other victims to seek help.

If you or someone you know might be in a similar situation, share this story as a beacon of hope and a catalyst for change.

Visit RealMenFeel.org for more episodes and blog posts, and click TheAndyGrant.com/talk to reach Andy for a personal clarity call. Until next time, be good to yourself.

Join the Conversation
We invite you to join the Real Men Feel community in exploring these discussions. Engage with us by sharing, commenting, and participating in our private Facebook group at realmenfeel.org/group. Connect with Andy directly at realmenfeel@gmail.com.

Connect with Patrick
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-leary-ed-d-2857323/

Resources
Ann Silvers, The Abuse of Men by Women on Real Men Feel — https://realmenfeel.org/2021/02/16/the-abuse-of-men-by-women/
The Abuse of Men by Women, Ann Silvers — https://amzn.to/41sHYeI

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