Discover Your Animal Archetype: The Power of Personality
Unlocking the Real You: The Power of Animal Archetypes
In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant is joined by Eric Gee, a published author, life and writing coach, who shares his unique personality typing system based on animal archetypes. They discuss how this system provides deeper insights into oneself beyond superficial traits, helping individuals make better life choices across careers, relationships, and personal growth. Eric elaborates on common misconceptions in traditional personality models and the importance of embracing one's true nature.
They explore the real-life application of these archetypes in education, relationships, and creative work, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and authenticity. Highlights include discussions of specific animal types, such as stags and peacocks, and their relevance to personal and professional life, as well as the impact of societal and parental expectations on identity.
00:00 The Dangers of Not Being Yourself
00:18 Introduction to Real Men Feel
00:26 Meet Eric Gee: Author and Personality Expert
01:23 Understanding Personality Typing
03:52 The Power of Animal Archetypes
06:14 Common Personality Types and Their Traits
07:36 Personality Types in Men and Society
11:57 Discovering Your True Personality
13:19 Impact of Social Programming on Boys
18:55 Upcoming Book and Common Questions
19:25 Relationship Dynamics and Personality Types
21:12 Creative Expression and Animal Types
22:58 Finding Your Authentic Voice
25:44 Understanding and Accepting Your Personality
29:29 Harry Potter Characters and Personality Types
32:43 Empowerment Through Self-Discovery
34:38 Where to Learn More and Final Thoughts
Connect with Eric
Eric Gee — https://www.projectyoutopia.com/
Take The Test — https://youtopiaproject.com/
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/the_power_of_personality/
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/eric.c.gee/
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/eric-gee-3565a79/
Resources
Power of Personality: Unlock the Secrets to Understanding Everyone in Your Life by Eric Gee — https://amzn.to/3Zq3eky
Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel
#RealMenFeel ep 390
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I think the dangers, people
start trying to become something
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they're not, right?
I don't want that.
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You should love yourself because
you yourself, whatever your
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personality type has, even if it
hasn't shown itself yet, your
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personality type has a lot of
strengths that you have to offer
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the world.
So definitely recommend working
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on those first and growing to be
the best version of yourself.
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Hello and welcome to Real and
Feel.
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I'm your host, Andy Grant.
Today we're talking about
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something that every man
wrestles with at some point.
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Who am I really?
My guest today is Eric G.
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He's a published author, life
and writing coach, and an expert
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in reading people.
Eric has developed a unique
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personality typing system based
on animal archetypes that cuts
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through pop psychology myths and
helps people understand
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themselves in a practical and
grounded way.
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His book, The Power of
Personality, invites us to stop
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forcing ourselves into roles
that don't fit and instead make
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better choices in our careers,
relationships, and lives by
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understanding how we are
actually wired.
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This conversation blends
insight, humor, and real talk
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about identity, voice, and
becoming the best version of
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yourself without betraying who
you are.
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So if you've ever felt like
you're trying to live someone
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else's life or wondering why
certain things just don't seem
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to work out for you, this one's
for you.
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If you want to go deeper, take a
look at our online community,
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Authentic AF.
Visit Real Men Feel at Org slash
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group and let's do it.
Hello Eric, and welcome to Real
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Men Feel.
How's it going?
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Very good.
I know we're jumping right into
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it, so I like that.
I like that feeling.
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Yeah.
So Eric, for guys that haven't
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heard about you, what problem
were you trying to solve when
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you created your own personality
typing system?
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You know, like I owned an
education company for about a
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decade and that's kind of where
I developed this personality
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typing methodology.
My company had about like 1000
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students a year.
And so obviously I didn't see
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all these students.
I had a staff of teachers, but I
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looked through all their files
and we talked to the teachers
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about them.
That was a long way of me saying
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like, my goal was seeing how
people are treated differently.
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Or like, I guess what I should
say is we all should be treated
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differently actually.
And yet we're like, kind of put
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on this like path of like, oh,
you need to be this way.
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And when you study personality
typing methodology, you discover
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a reason for that.
And there is a reason for that,
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but without saying what the
reason is right now.
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That was my goal was like to, to
help people understand, like
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especially teachers, because
teachers are so impactful on
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their kids lives.
And this is when you know that
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we're at the age where we're
really developing where you
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don't tell people what they
should be.
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You should tell them how to
become the best version of
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themselves.
And I think that was why I
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developed the whole methodology
in the first place.
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So is that sense of what you
should be?
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Is that what you saw as most
confusing or fusing or
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misleading about other
personally models that were out
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there?
Yeah.
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You know, well, actually other
personality models, the problem
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that I have with them.
And I don't say problem isn't
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like, I'm like just like firing
bullets at them, you know,
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taking shots in the butt, you
know, like I think they tend to
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focus on superficial things.
And I know people are like, it's
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not superficial like, so I guess
our level of superficiality is
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what we make of it, right?
But I feel like when you focus
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on things that people show you
on the outside, I not to say
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that those aren't important, but
I think there are deeper reasons
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for those things.
So even like things like, oh,
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introverted, extroverted, this
person is more talkative and
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this person's more shy.
I feel like that's a really
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superficial way to look at it
because I've, and once again,
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this is all comes from
experience.
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People complaining to me like
saying this stuff is so stupid
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because, you know, I've
extroverted in this situation
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and I'm introverted in this
situation.
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And I agreed.
I was like, yeah, you know,
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you're right.
Like I, I just for my own life
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and my own experiences and my
own observations, I've seen
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that.
So it's more not about what we
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show on the outside, but why we
are like that.
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So everybody can write.
Not one personality is great at
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writing, you know, or like
that's the writing type or this
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is like the leader type.
But it's why we do the things we
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do.
And I think that's kind of my
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issue with other personality
type of methodologies.
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They focus too much on the
external and not about the
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motivations why we do the things
we do.
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So why animals?
Why?
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Why do animal archetypes work
better for human personalities?
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Oh, that's an easy explanation.
It's just easy to remember, you
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know, like, and it's fun.
Easy to remember and fun like
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everyone.
Well, it depends on what animal
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you get.
If someone gets a fox,
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everyone's super excited about
being a fox, right?
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And we know what a fox is like.
Like if you just said, oh, that
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that person, she's a fox, well,
it might be a different
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connotation based on the gender.
But if you said like that person
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acts like a fox, we know.
Oh, OK, They're like kind of
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sneaky sly, right?
So animals are very easy to
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remember the personality
archetypes and just, it's easy,
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just like like I know some of
them have other personality type
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of methodologies have like
letter combinations and stuff.
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And people are like, yeah, I
took this test a long time ago
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and I got ELMJ, whatever.
They don't remember that.
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But if you tell someone, hey,
you're an owl, they're always
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going to remember they're an
owl.
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So I've done a couple of
shamanic journeys to find my my
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guide animal and three times I
always got the same animal and
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it was always a chipmunk.
So a monk.
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Interesting.
So what I.
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Wonder what that, whatever that
means.
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What does a chipmunk mean?
Like like you have a lot of
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energy.
Is that what they're saying?
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And it was.
It was a fun loving chipmunk.
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OK, specific.
So yeah, crafty, small, getting
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things done.
I don't know.
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But yeah.
But you know, in the environment
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it's already like, oh, there,
I'm a lion.
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I'm a, I'm a Falcon.
I'm a, you know, I'm a tiger.
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I'm a chipmunk.
And I really, I didn't, you
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know, the times because I was, I
kept getting the same thing like
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years apart.
I'm like, all right, I'm a
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chipmunk.
I'll take it, but.
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No, I'm a predator.
You keep like typing in
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Predator, Predator, predator.
Damn it.
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I like you getting this
chipmunk.
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So that sense of the shamanic
version of a guide animal is not
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the same as your personality
types.
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That's why I bring it up.
Oh yeah, I mean, it is like,
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obviously there are symbolic
choices as well and some of the
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animals that I chose.
But yeah, for the most part it's
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just it's something easy to
remember and the traits tend to
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do match.
Like if you're someone's a
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shark, then when you think of a
shark, what do you think of
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aggressive, action oriented,
very direct, you know, both
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literally and figuratively.
And that's exactly how shark
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personalities like they're very
direct, blunt.
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They are on the tap.
Of course, certain weaknesses
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they share with sharks is that
they can be a little narrow
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minded and narrow focus.
So you got to be really focused
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and that's a strength.
But also you sometimes it
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prevents you from seeing like
the pole picture.
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So, you know, things like that
do kind of match the animals.
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Are there any animal types that
show up most often in the
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population?
Yes, and how you mentioned
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before how you know, we were
told to be a certain way.
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So the way I, this is going to
get really wonky really fast.
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But you know, I first separate
people into four personality
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packs and of course I call them
packs because we got animals,
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right?
And within each pack there are
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four animal types.
So that's kind of cool because
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you'll start to see people in
life, right, that are similar to
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you, but not exactly the same.
So you probably share the same
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pack, but might not necessarily
be the same animal personality
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type within that pack.
And each pack desires or has
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different core values.
And one of the major core values
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is safety and security.
And the people who make up that
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pack who value safety and
security make about half the
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population.
So I mentioned that because any
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animal within that pack, and I
call that pack the gatherer
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pack, they will show themselves
more in the population.
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So each one of those animal
personality types is probably
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like I'd say 12 to 13% of the
population.
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So they show up the most and the
only issue with that is because
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they see themselves or people
like them quite a bit.
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They have the mindset, oh, this
is how people should be like
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because but he's like this,
right?
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Maybe there's like that one
person that I saw was a weirdo,
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but they're just different.
And then there's something wrong
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with them.
But so that becomes a danger,
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right?
Because when you make up that
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much of the population, you
start feeling like you are the
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norm.
Is there an animal archetype
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that you find most men want to
be, and which one are they
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actually?
I would say when most men want
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to be, in fairness to men,
especially since I am one, I'd
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say most men are told they
should be at an early age.
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So that's they want to be it
because that's what makes them a
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real man, right?
And I'm putting that in quotes.
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I would definitely need the stag
and that is one of the animals
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within the gatherer pack and a
stag is I always sell stags.
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Hey, you know what the world was
made for you it you know,
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especially for the men, right?
Like stags are confident, they
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are structured, they're
responsible, they do their duty,
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they're organized.
They are very, I would say
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stubborn, but they wouldn't say
they're very resilient and tough
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and not afraid of being in front
of people and saying what they
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think.
They're the person who like, if
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you're in school with a stag and
you get, or you get into like a
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group assignment with them,
their, their natural instincts
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go, OK, this is what we're going
to do guys.
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They will naturally start
bossing you around, you know,
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and bossy is obviously
pejorative, but what I mean is
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they'll naturally take charge
because they just have that
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confidence and they feel like
the way that the values that
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they have are reconstantly being
reinforced, whether it's in
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school or in society, and
especially men, because they're
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told to, you know, stags are
very tough and men are often
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told be tough.
Like this is your duty.
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You do it.
You know this, your
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responsibility, you do it.
And even if you don't like it,
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you go for it and you do it and
don't complain and never whine.
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So yeah, that was a long way of
saying stags.
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That's what men are told they
should be.
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So stag, we when we talked
previously, we talked about the
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00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,320
man box.
So it seems like the stag is the
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stereotypical man box archetype.
That's the man.
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00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,240
Yeah.
You know, like, sometimes, like,
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I would say, like sharks can
also be that.
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00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,080
But a shark is your typical
action hero, right?
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00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,160
Where a funny enough, a stag
will think they're a shark,
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00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,560
they'll see themselves on like,
let's say a version of
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00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,440
themselves on the big screen.
Like, I don't know, like Bruce
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00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,120
Willis and Die Hard.
Oh, yeah, he's cool.
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00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,760
I'm exactly like that.
But you know, deep down inside,
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00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,160
when they actually meet people
like that, they're going to be
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00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,000
like, oh, that person's so like,
they don't have their life
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00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,400
together.
They're like, so like random.
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00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,120
And, you know, like they don't,
they're not organized and
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structured enough.
Like the stag's favorite thing
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to do on a weekend is to go to
Costco.
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00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:49,840
Number one, that's the very
thing to do.
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00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,960
Costco is like what all stags
love to do.
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They feel like this is great.
This is the best situation.
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00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:57,000
Buy stuff for the home.
It's it's cheap, right?
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00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,600
Like it's economically, you
know, intelligent or shrewd for
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me to do this.
Yeah.
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That's their dream vacation is
going to Costco.
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00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:09,400
All right, so men feel they
should be stags and sharks.
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Is there a type that
statistically most men actually
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show up as?
Even The funny thing is I would
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00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:22,000
say that statistically, the stag
and the like, I mean stags, I'm
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00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,600
going to say start saying a
bunch of animals now.
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All the gatherer packs.
So stags, Beavers, elephants and
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00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:31,280
bears make about 1213%.
And it's, it's and you know, I
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00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,360
worked with thousands of
students.
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So clearly they're, they're boys
and girls and we didn't see any
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00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,560
like change.
It wasn't like, oh, more girls
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00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:42,880
are prone to be this now I will
say the more girls and boys are
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old to be like it was being
mentioned more like this type.
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00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,760
And really the key with that I
would try to teach my teachers
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00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,080
is how do you get them off of
what they're being told what
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00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,320
they should be and how do you
really focus on what they
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00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,000
actually are?
First you got to find out what
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00:10:56,000 --> 00:11:00,120
they actually are by observation
and then help them realize that
249
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,480
there's certain strengths to
that personality too.
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00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,360
So I would say like there are a
lot of stag men.
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00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,920
So that's, I mean, that is a
good thing, but also a problem,
252
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,200
right?
Because since they're make up
253
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,080
13% of the population, it's so
natural for a stag man to say,
254
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,960
oh, well, I see a lot of people
like me.
255
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,960
This is great.
You should be like me too, even
256
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:19,880
though maybe you have a bear
man, a bear man.
257
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:23,560
And it would be like Ross from
Friends, you know, like you can
258
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:26,360
see he's structured, organized,
a very good student, follows the
259
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,080
rules, but he's a lot more
sensitive.
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00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,400
He's a lot more.
Not to say the stags aren't
261
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,680
sensitive, but they're bears
don't have this feeling that
262
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:36,760
they have to be tough.
And obviously Ross and friends
263
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,600
doesn't have that either.
He's, you know, he's a sensitive
264
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,680
guy.
So if you get a bear male with,
265
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,640
you know, stag male, like the
stag is definitely going to tell
266
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,400
that they're like, oh, you need
to toughen up.
267
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:50,840
You need to stop being such a
handsy, you know and which is
268
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,360
clearly not healthy.
So you mentioned that
269
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,920
observation is the way for
people to discover what they
270
00:11:55,920 --> 00:12:00,640
really are.
So are your personality types?
271
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,520
Is this taught to teachers so
they observe students or is
272
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,680
there a way for people to find
out their their type?
273
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,360
You know, The funny thing is so
my book, the power of
274
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,280
personality was written in the
way to give people that
275
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,920
knowledge because, you know,
obviously we I have a test on my
276
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,480
site and it's great.
People should take it.
277
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:18,600
But you know a lot to, you know,
should have my own test.
278
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,040
But like it's cookie cutter,
right.
279
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,800
All these tests are online.
They're cookie cutter.
280
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,040
You know, we take them and
they're fun.
281
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:26,240
I've taken buzzfeeds on what
Harry Potter house am I at the
282
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:29,280
end of the day, like we need to
like if you know the methodology
283
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,720
and I'll teach my teachers the
methodology, which I also
284
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,920
described in my book, then you
can start.
285
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:37,280
That will help you tap into your
observations, but also your own
286
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,160
intuition, right?
I think we've met like
287
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,320
thousands, more than thousands
of people in our own lives.
288
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,480
Like everybody has a memory,
like a databank of all these
289
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,000
people they've met.
And so ideally, my book helps
290
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,920
people tap into that memory bank
and go, Oh, no wonder why this
291
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,520
person was doing this.
And I didn't really agree with
292
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:54,800
it.
You know, it starts, you start
293
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,960
to realize, oh, there wasn't
anything wrong with that person.
294
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:58,480
It was just that you guys were
different.
295
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,480
And you know, I teach my
teachers that so they could also
296
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,320
know what their type was so that
they wouldn't, they could
297
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,280
understand their own bias so
that they wouldn't push that on
298
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,080
their student.
Gotcha, so understanding your
299
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,960
personality type can really help
a man kind of stop comparing
300
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,560
himself to others or saying I
should be like that guy or they
301
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:17,920
should be like me, that sort of
stuff.
302
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,920
Oh, yeah, for sure.
And obviously as men, you're
303
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,440
told, you know, from when you're
a boy, you're like you you
304
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,560
scrape your knee and someone
says and you start crying and
305
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,080
someone says, oh, stop crying,
toughen up.
306
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,560
You know, and girls get on the
flip side, right?
307
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,520
They scrape their knee and
everyone's like I said, are you
308
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,640
OK?
You know, and I think parents do
309
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,280
that.
And I would say just parents,
310
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:40,120
but just adults do that in a way
where we don't even realize it.
311
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,920
And I think that, you know, when
I was working with teachers, you
312
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,720
think teachers obviously study
these kinds of things at school
313
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,680
and they work with kids.
And even they were making so
314
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:52,600
many assumptions about stuff
where we have teachers go, oh,
315
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,440
but that's how girls are like,
right.
316
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,680
And I'm like, that's how some
are.
317
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:58,840
But you have to remember you're
just pushing this social
318
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,040
programming on them and
especially the boys, too.
319
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,600
You're you're preaching the
social programming when your own
320
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:07,560
experience should tell you that
you've met several men who were
321
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:11,160
not as quote UN quote, tough as
they should be or were told to
322
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,040
be.
And clearly it was OK, It was
323
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,480
healthy for them to be that way,
right?
324
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,920
So yeah, it was.
It's basically identifying
325
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:20,320
biases.
And you say never send a Peacock
326
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,160
to do a pandas job.
Can you unpack that?
327
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,560
That was, oh, you know, I was, I
didn't say that.
328
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,600
My friend actually who wrote a
great blurb, that's the same
329
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,400
friend actually who writes for
this show that's on Apple TV
330
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,320
called Mythic Quest.
And if anyone's seen Mythic
331
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,880
Quest, it's a great show.
But specifically, if you're only
332
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:40,320
watch one episode, watch there's
a season 2 episode where it's a
333
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,080
bottle episode where they're all
taking a test to figure out what
334
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,000
animal they are.
And that's me.
335
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,280
That's my stuff.
And you know how you'd mentioned
336
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,680
chipmunk and how you're trying
to get lion?
337
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:52,080
That's the actual joke in the
show is that a guy gets like a
338
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,240
mouse or something.
He's like, oh, Dang it, a mouse.
339
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,480
Like that's the no, he gets a a
lion or a wolf and he's so proud
340
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,880
of it.
And then he realizes he did the
341
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,320
test exactly the opposite.
And then he retakes it and he
342
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,880
gets a mouse.
You know, I don't have a mouse
343
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,560
or a lion in my personality
testing.
344
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,160
But yeah, like, oh, when I so
when she wrote that never sent a
345
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,400
Peacock to do panda job.
It's really just, you know, I, I
346
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,040
hate to say that certain
personality types are naturally
347
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,440
good at stuff because I think
people get too involved in that.
348
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,160
They're like, oh, I want to see
what personality type is so I
349
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,440
can know what I'm good at.
Like, well, it's not going to
350
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,040
tell you what you're good at.
It's going to tell you what you
351
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,840
genuinely will like doing more.
And I feel like when we like
352
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,520
doing something more, we
practice it.
353
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,520
We just do it over and over
again and then we eventually get
354
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:33,840
good at it.
So I would say that Peacocks are
355
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:38,680
very, very good and enjoy being
in the spotlight and saying me,
356
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,600
me, look at me.
And they're so performative.
357
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,880
And that's not everybody, right?
Like, you know how they say
358
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:46,160
public speaking is a big fear of
like, is like people's biggest
359
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,320
fear?
Well, not for Peacocks.
360
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:48,840
They're like, this isn't a fear
of mine.
361
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:52,720
Yeah, put me up on stage, Right.
However, PANDAS are a lot more
362
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,280
like internal.
They're a lot more what you
363
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,920
think of as your natural
counselors or psychologists and
364
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,680
therapists.
They're better listeners than
365
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,800
anything else, probably the best
listener of all the types.
366
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:04,560
So of course, why would you ever
want to Peacock to do that kind
367
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,040
of job, right?
They're be like, no, no, that's
368
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,360
great what you're saying, but
let me tell you my whole life
369
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,560
story, right.
So it's really just the great
370
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,080
thing about finding out what you
really love doing is that you
371
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,200
practice more and then you can
kind of find your niche.
372
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:19,680
What does it look like for a man
who's living out of alignment
373
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:24,160
with his natural personality?
Well, lots of different things.
374
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,240
You know, it could, it could
manifest in a lot of different
375
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,160
ways.
I often found, especially with
376
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:33,080
young, young men or boys, you'd
say it's a lot of introversion,
377
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,880
for lack of a better term.
I said, I don't believe in
378
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:36,720
introversion, but that's how it
manifests itself, right?
379
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:40,840
Like it's just closed off, not
open, not opening up.
380
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,120
And also like, and I, it could
be for a variety of reasons.
381
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:46,600
Generally it's shame, right?
If you feel, if you have certain
382
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,480
feelings in any given way, like
if you want to express your
383
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:52,840
feelings and you're being told
not to and you're being told
384
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:56,080
that even if someone doesn't say
you're the feeling is wrong, if
385
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,320
you someone just says, oh,
expressing that feeling is
386
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,520
wrong, they don't have to say
there's something wrong with
387
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,040
you, but that's exactly how
you're going to feel.
388
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,720
And you're like, oh, I feel this
way.
389
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,240
And you're saying that me
expressing that is bad.
390
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,079
Then let me just put, you know,
where does that naturally lead
391
00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:09,240
to?
Right.
392
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:10,880
So generally it's going to be,
yeah.
393
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,200
I'd say I saw a lot of young
boys who just be, would be
394
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,359
really closed off and just
hateful, especially the parents,
395
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,240
which is ironic because these
are the parents who are telling
396
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,119
them these like trying to
program this way generally.
397
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,160
Yeah, that's generally how it
manifests itself.
398
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,560
Clearly not a healthy way to
live your life.
399
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:29,800
And in your experience in
education and and beyond, what
400
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:36,120
do you see as, or is there one
primary factor that tells boys
401
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,040
how they should act?
Is it peers?
402
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,840
Is it parents?
Is it school?
403
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:44,760
Something else?
I, I think it's like everything
404
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,440
and I know that's like a, that
is such a cop out, but you know,
405
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,600
and I hate to keep saying social
media or I don't know, I haven't
406
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,760
said it yet, but I know a lot of
people say social media.
407
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,280
I do think social media is less
impactful on boys than it is on
408
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:59,240
girls for sure.
So in that way, boys get it a
409
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,000
little better, right?
Like, but it's still, it's still
410
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:03,920
hits.
Like, you know, they see social
411
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,040
media, they see the well,
they're told, oh, well, you
412
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:10,000
should have this really
attractive woman as your mate,
413
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,560
you know, as your spouse and
marry her.
414
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,040
And you have to do all these
things to get that.
415
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,600
And boys are told, oh, well, you
got to be tough.
416
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,640
You got to get a great job.
You have to be, yeah, super
417
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:22,520
successful, you know, and and I
think they get that from social
418
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,240
media is like the superficial
way.
419
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,640
But they also get that from
their parents too, right.
420
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,920
Like, I think a lot of parents
tell their kids like, the first
421
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,000
thing a boy says is like, I love
math.
422
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,760
Oh, oh, no.
They say I like adding, you
423
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,760
know, when they're like 2 years
or four years old, five years.
424
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,040
I love to add and subtract.
OK, great.
425
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,000
Science software engineer or
doctor, you know, you like
426
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,600
science.
Oh, doctor, you know, and it's
427
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,320
like, wow.
Like you do, We need to push
428
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,160
them into these things so
quickly where we can't just let
429
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,840
them discover it on their own.
Have you taken the personality
430
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,560
types into relationships?
Like do you see relationship
431
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,880
mismatches based on the animal
types?
432
00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:57,920
Yeah, that's going to be my next
book.
433
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:02,520
I didn't have enough time in the
first book to write that, but I
434
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,280
do want that to be my next book
because, you know, I've had
435
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:09,520
talks at like colleges and I've
had talks at Hulu, you know,
436
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,480
and, and like basically work
environments.
437
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,840
And the first question I always
get asked, or at least the
438
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,440
second question afterwards will
no matter the circumstance or
439
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,480
scenario, will always be OK.
So this is great.
440
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,040
And I do want to be more
productive in my life, but who
441
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,600
should I be hooking up with?
Like that's the first question,
442
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,680
right?
And so I would say, I, I always
443
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:30,440
say the safe approach, which is
I don't believe in soulmates.
444
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,240
I don't believe like there's
perfect matches.
445
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,840
I think we can get along and be
in a relationship and, and a
446
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,120
healthy relationship with any
personality type.
447
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,080
But you have to accept that
based on the personality types,
448
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,320
there's going to be natural
attraction, there's going to be
449
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,120
natural attraction and a natural
conflict.
450
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,360
And you have to be OK with that
without changing them.
451
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:51,240
Because if you started trying to
change your partner, then that's
452
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,720
a problem.
So like, let's just say you're a
453
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,600
more structured, responsible
person and you tend, you tend to
454
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,120
be attracted to someone who's
more sontaneous and flexible.
455
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,520
That's just a natural thing that
I've found in my experience,
456
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,920
people will go towards their
opposite, right?
457
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:07,600
Not opposite in every regard.
But opposite in some of those
458
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,880
like modus operandi things,
that's OK to be attracted to
459
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,480
that person, but don't try to
change them when you're in that
460
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,560
relationship because of that.
What's the point that that's the
461
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,720
reason why you're attracted to
them?
462
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,040
Why would you try to change
them?
463
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,360
But I find that that's the case
too.
464
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,840
I see that all the time.
In my experience, people like
465
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,880
being attracted to one thing and
then once they're in a
466
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,240
relationship trying to change
that, like you just have to
467
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,880
accept your partner is going to
be who they are and then you'll
468
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,760
have a healthy match.
That being said, I will say that
469
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:35,400
there are certain personalities
that do generally are attracted
470
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,240
and get along and are healthier
together than others.
471
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,720
And so would it be rare for the
same personality types to be in
472
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:46,440
relationship together?
That I would say that is really
473
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,320
rare.
The exact same like animal type
474
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,200
is rare because they will
definitely do.
475
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,360
Let's say you get 2 stags
together and you know stags make
476
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:56,240
up about 1213%.
So you know that's the best
477
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:57,840
chance you're going to get is
those two together.
478
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,720
I, I think that would be pretty
difficult actually, because they
479
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,920
would, because it's almost like
redundancy, right?
480
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,320
They'd be like, oh, wait, so I'm
bringing this.
481
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,880
And then you just start arguing
about who's better in those
482
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:11,280
things that you love.
And I think that would be recipe
483
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,480
for disaster.
So you are also a writing and
484
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,800
life coach.
How closely do you see animal
485
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,280
types in creative expression
aligned?
486
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,000
I love using it for creative
expression, just that's how I
487
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,840
write my characters.
So I got my background.
488
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:28,960
Actual academic background is in
screen writing.
489
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,600
That's why I went to school for.
SO, you know, you learn about
490
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,840
archetypes and what characters
and their motivations and how to
491
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,520
make you know.
And obviously, as you were
492
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,040
mentioning before, about two
people of the exact same type
493
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,840
being together, you never have
that in a story, right?
494
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,840
Because you'd have two.
That'd be too redundant.
495
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,560
You need to have this type
bouncing off of this type so we
496
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,680
can learn about both.
And also both types can grow.
497
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:52,840
And that's probably something I
didn't mention before when I was
498
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,600
talking about relationships.
I do think the best
499
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,400
relationship, the personality
type matches are the ones that
500
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:01,440
are the same enough where they
can communicate with each other,
501
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:05,200
but different enough where each
one can grow because I think we
502
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,320
only grow being with someone
who's a little different or
503
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:11,440
challenges us rather.
So for movies and stories, it's
504
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,280
the same thing.
And I teach my students out as
505
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,480
well because I teach writing is
that no, you got to have these
506
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,400
different personalities bouncing
off of each other.
507
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,440
And so I love to do that.
Like people say, oh, what Harry
508
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,200
Potter character am I?
You know, I have that.
509
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,920
I have tests like that on my
website or articles like that on
510
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:25,440
my website.
People wanted there's a test
511
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,800
that can tell you what Game of
Thrones character you are.
512
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,680
And people love that.
And I love it too because it's
513
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,600
fun.
But also that's kind of the best
514
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:36,720
way to introduce personality
typing to people is through
515
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:37,920
characters because they've seen
it.
516
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,920
They know the character, the
characters written in a way
517
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,640
where they're not hiding
themselves.
518
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,160
Like the writer's like, no, this
character's like this.
519
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,120
How do I express that?
Right.
520
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:48,320
So with real people, it's harder
to type because real people
521
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,360
hide, you know, that mean that's
the whole point.
522
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:51,800
People hide their emotions,
especially men.
523
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,520
They don't want to, they don't
want to be vulnerable.
524
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,640
Whereas, you know, characters
are there for us to watch.
525
00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:00,840
So I use that quite a bit.
Do you have any advice for how
526
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:05,440
men can preserve their true and
authentic voice in a world
527
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,720
that's constantly telling them
how they should be?
528
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,920
First, you got to find your
voice 1st and that's a large,
529
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,240
large step.
You know, that's not like an
530
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,560
easy step.
Like I think I always, I think
531
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,960
Miss Einstein's always misquoted
as saying like you got to, if
532
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,440
you want to solve a problem, you
got to spend 90% of your time
533
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,960
figuring out the problem and
then 10% of your time figuring
534
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,760
out how to solve it.
But I do love that idea of like,
535
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:28,960
that's really the most
important.
536
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,760
Who are you?
Like, so if I would just tell
537
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,400
every man or woman, but men
specifically in this case, like
538
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,840
figure out what you are like.
And it doesn't mean, look, it's
539
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,160
not, I'm not saying you
shouldn't be tough.
540
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,440
I'm saying you should start
reanalyzing what it means to be
541
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,760
tough and to be strong and to be
a man, right?
542
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:49,280
And in that case, obviously,
clearly you are a man if you are
543
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:50,680
a man, if you, that's how you
identify.
544
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:55,040
So start figuring out what it is
that you want out of life.
545
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,360
And that is a process.
And once you figure that out,
546
00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:01,440
then you can start kind of like
pushing away the noise and you
547
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,240
start realizing, oh, that was
just someone, So what someone
548
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,760
told me.
And I think it's a lot harder.
549
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,440
The one thing I would say,
sorry, there's a long answer,
550
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,840
but figure out what yourself,
what you are, but also your
551
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,960
parents.
Because I think parents often
552
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,240
have such an impact on who we
think we should be that I think
553
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,800
that's super important.
So then once you know what your
554
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:20,120
parents are, it's just a lot
easier for you to understand why
555
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:21,880
they were telling you the things
they were.
556
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:23,760
Because sometimes it almost
feels like rejection when you're
557
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,520
saying, no, my parents told me
this, and I don't want to be
558
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,320
that way.
And rejection can be a negative
559
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:29,360
thing, but if you just
understand what they are, you're
560
00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:31,920
not rejecting them.
You're saying like, oh, they
561
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,320
weren't wrong.
Whatever they're saying was
562
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:38,320
right for them, it just wasn't
right for me, and I think that
563
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:43,640
will help people accept it more.
So could someone could I take
564
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,920
the test for my parents or would
only be accurate if they took
565
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,920
it?
That's, you know, I actually
566
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,000
sometimes tell people,
especially when people are not
567
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,360
very self aware to have someone
else take the test, you know,
568
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:57,560
like, cuz I'm always like, like
someone told me someone got AI
569
00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:59,280
asked them what they got in the
test the other day and they're
570
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,160
like, oh, I got an owl and I was
just like, you're not an owl.
571
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,040
And she's like, why would you
say that?
572
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,440
I'm like, cuz owls are like soft
spoken and they, I mean, how,
573
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,080
how many times have you played
chess?
574
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:12,000
And she's like, I never, I
wouldn't play chess.
575
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,200
I'm like, I always love chess,
you know, like you're a Peacock
576
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:15,520
And she's like, why would you
say I'm a Peacock?
577
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,840
Because you're loud And she's
like, I'm not loud and she's
578
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:20,760
like yelling at me, right?
I'm like, and she's like, OK, I
579
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,800
am loud, but that's not all of
what I am.
580
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,200
I'm like, no, no, I'm not saying
that's all what you are, but
581
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,360
it's the easiest thing for me to
see it at face value.
582
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,080
And so I do think I would
recommend people to have, if
583
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,880
they haven't, if they're having
trouble, I would recommend
584
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,640
people to have their friends
take the test for them.
585
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,760
And so vice versa, you could
take the test for your parents
586
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:41,200
and you know you might be more
accurate than they might be
587
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:42,960
depending on how self aware your
parents are.
588
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:48,320
Interesting.
Is there an ideal way to grow
589
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:52,560
that doesn't try to overwrite
your personality or animal type?
590
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:58,480
That doesn't try to over like
meaning meaning like change your
591
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:00,960
personality.
Type or yeah, if if you see your
592
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,520
type and perhaps you don't like
it or your job or somebody
593
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,920
saying you should be better at
these things that just aren't
594
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,600
your skill set, should you try
to be better at those things or
595
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,840
or not?
That's a great question and I'll
596
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,600
be honest, it's up to you.
I always say find your anchor
597
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,600
1st and that's find your
personality first so that way
598
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,320
you don't lose yourself.
And let's say you're in a job
599
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:23,720
that maybe the skill sets aren't
necessarily natural for you, but
600
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,240
you do like your job and you
identify with it.
601
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:29,520
Then I that's when you, we can
grow by borrowing from other
602
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:33,480
types like, oh, like, for
example, I, you know, like I got
603
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:34,880
my backgrounds in screen
writing.
604
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,760
I'm still writing scripts and a
lot of screen writing is a lot
605
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,200
of marketing, right?
How do you sell?
606
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,520
How do you pitch?
Not exactly a strength of my
607
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:45,640
personality type that, but the
writing aspect is.
608
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,800
So how do you balance that?
How do you become successful?
609
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,320
You have to like figure out how
to pitch yourself, how to sell
610
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,600
this stuff, right?
And that's not necessarily my
611
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,680
skill set, but it is the skill
set of a fox.
612
00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:58,280
So it's kind of cool to read up
on the fox and go, OK, what do
613
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,120
they do?
How do they look at the world
614
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,440
differently?
And I need to kind of at least
615
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,560
borrow that a little bit so I
can be kind of better at this
616
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:09,320
and then improve this skill set.
But I always recommend find your
617
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,280
anchor first because I
definitely don't want people.
618
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,960
I think the dangerous people
start trying to become something
619
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,280
they're not, right?
I don't want that.
620
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:18,040
You should love yourself because
you yourself, whatever your
621
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:21,480
personality type has, even if it
hasn't shown itself yet, your
622
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,760
personality type has a lot of
strengths that you have to offer
623
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,440
the world.
So definitely recommend.
624
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,720
I'm working on those first and
growing to be the best version
625
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,840
of yourself.
Cool, so if I have awareness and
626
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:37,200
know my anchor and study other
types, it could be a shark that
627
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,880
needs to act like a fox for an
afternoon and do it.
628
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,680
Oh, yeah, for sure.
You can borrow those types.
629
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,920
As long as you're aware you can
go like, Oh yeah, this is what
630
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,440
they do, you know, and then you
have friends, right?
631
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,640
You have not your, I'm sure your
friends aren't different
632
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,320
personality types or aren't the
same personality type as you
633
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,600
are, at least not all of them.
So you can say, oh, how do you
634
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,640
do this?
Like how do you get things done?
635
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,360
My weakness, for example, my
weakness for my personality type
636
00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:00,600
is I start a lot of things.
I don't always finish them.
637
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,800
So I just asked a friend who's
very good at finishing things to
638
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,840
say like, what do you exactly do
you do during your day?
639
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,600
He's like, well, I make a
checklist and I do this.
640
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,560
And then he had all these things
and I didn't mean like I took
641
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,200
all of them.
I just took the ones where I'm,
642
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:14,520
I think I can do that one.
I can't do those things.
643
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,520
Those are really unnatural, but
I think I can do that one, and I
644
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:21,200
did and it really helped.
Is there one particular moment
645
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:26,000
in your life when understanding
your type really changed how you
646
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,680
saw yourself and and change the
situation for you?
647
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,240
I can't think of a specific
moment, but I will say, like in
648
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:37,000
a general, like when I was
younger, my type is 1, where
649
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,880
it's not necessarily going to
value the things that your
650
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,480
teachers tell you to do.
And, you know, especially in
651
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,480
elementary school, do teachers
tell you, like, you got to write
652
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,200
your homework down.
You got to, like, make sure you
653
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,160
have it in an organizer, You
have it like in a little folder
654
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:50,840
and write.
Yeah, like, have everything down
655
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,160
and structured.
And at a certain point, I think
656
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:54,880
understanding about personality,
I realized, you know what,
657
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,480
That's just not the way I do
things.
658
00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:00,520
And I cannot, no matter how much
I try, like I would do the
659
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:04,200
notebook and try the organizer
every year of grade school, you
660
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,960
know, And after three or four
days, I ended up reverting to
661
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:09,920
just taking my homework and
shoving it in my backpack.
662
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,040
You know, like it's like
throwing in, maybe I'd turn in,
663
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:15,120
maybe I wouldn't.
But I think at that moment I
664
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,680
realized, you know, this is not
natural for me, like doing this
665
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,600
organizer thing and I got to do
my own thing.
666
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,680
And, and you know, I'm clearly,
I was pretty successful at it in
667
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,760
grade school.
So I was like, clearly I'm doing
668
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,840
something right.
So maybe I just got to lean into
669
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,480
my strengths versus trying to
fight it.
670
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,280
So you've mentioned Harry Potter
a number of times.
671
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:34,560
So what animal types are the
main characters from the Harry
672
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:38,280
Potter series?
Oh, so we have Harry, who is
673
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,560
this stereotypical hero.
And by stereotypical I mean like
674
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:45,240
the Joseph Campbell archetype
hero, and that would be the
675
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,560
humpback whale.
And so humpback whales are in
676
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,040
the personality pack of a
shaman.
677
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:52,920
And a shaman there, as I
mentioned, gathers value safety
678
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,800
and security.
Shamans value self knowledge.
679
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,480
So that's why the Campbell hero
is always that humpback whale
680
00:29:58,480 --> 00:29:59,560
ish.
They're always seeking their
681
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,520
identity.
And you know, the Campbell hero
682
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:04,480
always doesn't really have
parent parents or like unknown
683
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:05,880
parentage.
So of course, if you don't know
684
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,440
your parents, then natural
instinct is like, who am I?
685
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:11,720
What makes me who I am?
So Harry is definitely that
686
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,920
humpback whale type.
Another humpback whale would be
687
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,640
like Luke Skywalker, right?
Obviously another one unknown
688
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:20,240
parentage.
And Hermione is a killer whale.
689
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:22,760
So I'm going to say a couple
because they're all and it shows
690
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,160
you like even in writing, it
helps to have different types
691
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,440
because each one of the Harry
Potter main Harry Potter
692
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,040
characters is in a totally
different personality pack.
693
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:34,040
And that makes sense because not
only can their differences
694
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,520
conflict and bounce off of each
other and they can grow as
695
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:40,200
friends, but their skill sets
work in terms of telling the
696
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,520
story right.
So Hermione is a Smith, Smith's
697
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:46,320
value information and she's a
killer whale type of that.
698
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,640
So they're like the hard
driving, like information is
699
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:52,440
key, but information to get
things done is most important.
700
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,880
And of course, Hermione was the
1st place she goes to when she
701
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,520
needs to get something done or
figure something out.
702
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,200
Go to the library, right?
She's the one who makes all the
703
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,280
plans, right?
Harry is the one who executes
704
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:04,520
the plans, but she's the one who
has the plans and is like the
705
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,400
driving force behind most of
what they do.
706
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,280
Harry's kind of just along for
the ride sometimes.
707
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:10,360
So yeah.
So killer whales.
708
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,720
Another example of a killer
whale would be like, for anyone
709
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,880
who knows Shakespeare and
Macbeth was a killer whale.
710
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,600
They tend to be very ambitious.
Tywin Lannister from Game of
711
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,720
Thrones.
And then Ron would be an
712
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:22,680
elephant.
So elephants are gatherers, as I
713
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:24,840
mentioned before, gathers like
safety and security.
714
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,920
And an elephant specifically
gets their safety and security
715
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,040
from being close to their
family.
716
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,360
They're like the most family
oriented.
717
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,560
And you know, what's the first
thing we realize about Ron?
718
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:35,720
He's all about family.
He's got a big, huge family and
719
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,040
he's very close to them.
And he gives Harry that
720
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:41,960
groundedness that Harry lacks.
So you mentioned that in at
721
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:45,880
least this story the the group
of friends are in different
722
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:50,280
animal type packs.
Is that all normal in real life?
723
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,840
You know, it depends.
I, I think it just depends on
724
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,920
the person because if you're
doing, if the friends you make
725
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,520
are based on activities,
specific activities, you're
726
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:02,320
probably going to be similar
packs.
727
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:06,040
If the friends you make, like
school, of course, is more
728
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,760
general, you're going to have a
whole bunch of people, right.
729
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:11,120
Like I play in a pickup
basketball league and my
730
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,000
personality is not one that
necessarily would be in that.
731
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,360
And almost everybody is from one
specific pack.
732
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,240
They're all hunters and hunters
love excitement.
733
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:22,240
They love, you know, visceral,
like seeing everything, feeling
734
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:23,640
everything.
So that's they would be the most
735
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:26,360
likely to be in a pickup
basketball league versus, you
736
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,720
know, the shaman who just wants
to navel gaze and figure out who
737
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:31,720
they are.
But if in school, if you make
738
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,840
friends, I I think we naturally
will go to dots of different
739
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,200
people because it's like we do
romantically.
740
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,360
We we see differences and we're
like attracted to them because
741
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:40,600
like, oh, OK, that's that's kind
of cool.
742
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:41,880
That person's a little different
than me.
743
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,760
Let me talk to.
Them and Eric, is there a
744
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:49,160
particular way you hope people
feel after reading The Power of
745
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,440
Personality?
Oh, people.
746
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:54,520
Feel more empowered for lack for
back of better work.
747
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,920
And you know, power's in there.
But that's really what I love
748
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,360
about, you know, when I work
with kids all the time, like I
749
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,360
love that.
My favorite part is when they're
750
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:05,920
like, oh, they their eyes start
opening up and realizing I am
751
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,400
different than what I've been
told that I should be.
752
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,200
And that's OK.
And there's power in that.
753
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,600
Like I had a student who she
kept telling me she wanted to be
754
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,440
a vet and I was like, you're not
going to be a vet.
755
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:17,080
And she's like, why are you
telling me I'm not going to be a
756
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:18,160
vet?
You know, because I'm sure if
757
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,880
someone says you're going to be
a vet or they want to be a vet
758
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,000
or a doctor or something, most
adults are like, yeah, that's
759
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:23,720
great.
Go for that.
760
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,560
That sounds good.
You know, I'm like, because you
761
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,720
don't even like school.
And she's like, wait, do vets
762
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,200
have to go to a lot of school?
I'm like, let me tell you, she
763
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:31,880
was in like, fifth grade at the
moment.
764
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,120
So I'm like, OK, let's go
through all the years, 6th
765
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:35,520
grade.
And I'm counting them all.
766
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,440
And I can just see the look of
horror on her face, right?
767
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,640
And then the next day she's
like, yeah, you know, I don't
768
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:42,640
think I want to be a vet.
And I'm like, that's OK.
769
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,480
I know what happened.
You told your grandma or your
770
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,560
mom that you like dogs and
they're immediately vet.
771
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,000
And she's like, yeah, I did.
That's what happened.
772
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,400
I told my grandma and she's like
vet and you don't even like
773
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,240
cats.
And she's like, wait, does a
774
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:54,720
veterinarian have to work on
cats?
775
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,600
And I'm like, yeah, you know,
probably if you work on dogs,
776
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,800
you can work on cats.
But the beauty of that was she's
777
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,320
like, oh, so I'm a dolphin.
What what are dolphins good at?
778
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:03,840
I'm like, well, I'm not going to
say you're naturally good at,
779
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,200
but these things are actually
already do see that you're good
780
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,199
at.
Dolphins are really commutative.
781
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,360
They're they have no problem
getting in front of people.
782
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,040
They when they believe in
something, they have no problem
783
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:16,080
getting a lot of people together
to work towards that objective.
784
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,719
You know, so maybe like you
could be in and she was in
785
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:20,800
student politics, like maybe you
get into politics, maybe you
786
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,880
could be a community organizer,
maybe you could join a
787
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:24,760
nonprofit.
But either way, you're going to
788
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,320
be leading people and very human
focused.
789
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:30,080
And she liked that.
And that, that's what I hope
790
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,400
people get out of reading the
book, is like realizing that
791
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:36,159
maybe they aren't what they
thought they were be and they're
792
00:34:36,159 --> 00:34:39,679
actually something even better.
Awesome, and where can people go
793
00:34:39,679 --> 00:34:41,840
to learn more about the book and
all of your work?
794
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,840
You can buy the book if you want
on Amazon if you want to give
795
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,000
Jeff Bezos your money, or you
can go it's like Barnes and
796
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,080
Noble, any big box store order
from there or your local
797
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:52,159
bookstore.
If you want to take the test,
798
00:34:52,159 --> 00:34:57,080
you can go on utopiaproject.com
and that's YOU like YouTube, so
799
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,440
utopiaproject.com.
And if you want to learn more
800
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,560
about me, I know this is weird
because there's another website
801
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:03,800
you got to go to,
projectutopia.com.
802
00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:07,080
And the only reason for that is
one of the websites was better
803
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:10,320
at creating a test.
So yeah, that's where you can
804
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,360
find me or go on Instagram.
I'm not huge in social media,
805
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,840
but yeah, go on Instagram and
find me at the Power
806
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:17,680
Personality, which is the name
of the book as well.
807
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,120
And finally, Eric, what's one
thing you wish more men knew?
808
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,640
Oh.
That's that's I mean, it's just
809
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:29,080
the purpose of the show.
The real that a real man is
810
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,080
might not necessarily be what
you've been told.
811
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,680
Now, of course, that leads to
what is the question, what is
812
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:36,480
what a real man?
But then you got to find that
813
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,200
out for yourself, you know?
Beautiful.
814
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,280
Love that answer.
Well, thanks so much for your
815
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:41,440
time.
Thanks for all of your work and
816
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,120
your sharing.
And I know I'm going to go take
817
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,360
some tests this afternoon.
Tell me what you get.
818
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,600
Let me or let me let me guess
and then tell me if I'm right.
819
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:48,280
Or not.
What do you think?
820
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:52,080
What do you expect?
You know, like, I got this from
821
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,440
the chipmunk, you know, like you
have a lot of energy.
822
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:56,520
And so let me ask you one
question.
823
00:35:56,520 --> 00:36:00,480
Would you, do you prefer finding
out more about like, like things
824
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,840
in life, like facts, information
about stuff, or do you find that
825
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,800
you tend to search more about
things about yourself, probably
826
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,560
myself.
You might be a baboon.
827
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,840
That would be my guess.
A baboon which kind of has
828
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,560
chipmunk energy, I guess, you
know, But they're very like,
829
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:19,960
they're shaman family.
Yeah, there's the example.
830
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,560
They're they're from the shaman
pack and they they seek out self
831
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,400
knowledge.
But unlike let's say the panda,
832
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,120
which is also shaman, baboons
are a lot more commutative.
833
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,120
They're like more outward,
they're much more like an
834
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,560
advocate for things they believe
in.
835
00:36:30,720 --> 00:36:32,440
And they really try to
communicate that and push that
836
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:33,960
forward.
And they're constantly wanting
837
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:35,920
to figure out more things about
themselves.
838
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,360
It also help other people figure
out things about themselves.
839
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:39,680
OK, well, that does sound like
me.
840
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,040
That part.
All right, cool.
841
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,640
I will let you know.
Thanks again to Eric and
842
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:45,400
everyone for listening.
You know, what I really
843
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,760
appreciate about his work is
that it doesn't ask.
844
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,040
People are meant to fix
themselves and ask them to
845
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:53,320
understand themselves.
And that's a very different
846
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,240
starting point.
If you're listening and
847
00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:57,840
something clicked today, maybe
you recognize yourself in one of
848
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,200
the archetypes or realize you've
been forcing yourself into a
849
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,720
role that doesn't fit.
Take a moment with that.
850
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,480
Awareness is where all change
begins.
851
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,160
You can learn more about Eric,
his work, his book, the Power
852
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,240
Personality, and the show notes.
If this episode resonated, I
853
00:37:11,240 --> 00:37:13,960
want you to join me in my free
online men's community,
854
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,840
Authentic AF, where men have
real conversations about
855
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:20,160
identity, emotions, purpose,
relationships, and what it
856
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,920
actually means to live aligned
with your true self.
857
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:26,880
You can join us at
realmenfeel.org/group and until
858
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:28,920
next time, be good to yourself.
Author, Writing and Life Coach, Founder
I was a bad student” is my common answer when asked about my early school years. I could be a teacher’s best friend or worst enemy, alternating between charismatic participant and equally charismatic dissident depending on my passion for the assignment. As my brother once perfectly encapsulated: “If Eric doesn’t like doing something and it takes longer than fifteen minutes, he’s not going to do it.”
Let’s face it, school is designed for certain types of people. For everyone else, it's an exhaustive marathon of tedium, awkwardness, and social castigation. We’re often told that it’s a phase that we’ll grow out of, but why should we grow out of something we are, just to be something we’re not? It hurts to be misunderstood, but it hurts even more to be gaslit into believing your value differences are an illusion, and if you’d only conform to someone else’s standards of happiness you’d, in fact, be happy too.
That is why I’ve devoted the last two decades of my life to helping people forge a path to success that works for them. I founded an education company with individualized growth as its mission statement. I’ve coached teachers on how to work with their students’ personal needs, and provided business professionals, in leadership and non-leadership roles, with the tools they need to attain collaboration, productivity, and personal growth within their team.
My book, The Power of Personality, is the culmination of decades of research and application. I’ve personality-typed over fifty thousand people during my career, which is no small sample size… Read More